rSlash - r/AITA Angry Karen Tried to Steal My Child

Episode Date: December 3, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:05 Physical 3:31 Cooking 6:18 Rude server 10:32 Prank bro Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Fear is the virus is trending on TikTok. Vaccines are poison. Then your yoga teacher says that sex traffic children are being sacrificed by satanic liberals. But it's all okay. The Great Awakening is coming. What is happening? Every week on Conspiruality Podcast, we explore the fever dreams that suck friends, family, and wellness gurus down the right-wing cult spiral in a search for salvation. Welcome to R.S. Am I the Butthole, where a Karen tries to get O.P. arrested.

Am I the butthole for telling a lady at the park that I was going to get physical with her and have her arrested when she called the cops? My best friend is a woman that I've known since middle school. We've been friends for 40 years, literally. She and her husband had a child very late in life. Like, she was 42. The kid is great, and I was the fourth person to ever hold him after his parents and grandmother. I've been in his life since hours after he was born. I'm basically just a child. I work at a fly-in, fly-out job, and I make a great living. My kids are grown up and on their own. My wife loves having the kid around and treats him like a grandchild.

I like having him around and treat him like a sibling. We play Lego and Nintendo. I've had to relearn everything I forgot about Minecraft. I'm also the go-to babysitter when I'm on my off weeks. It works out because I have nothing better to do when I'm home. The problem is that I'm a six-fifference. foot 300 pound Hispanic man that looks exactly like what you would expect an oil field worker to look like. My friend's kid, Marcus, is an 8-year-old kid with long red hair and green eyes. He's so

white that he looks like they raised an albino in a closet. I had him at a park by my house this weekend while his mom and dad had some downtime. He was having fun and when it was time to go, he was a little jerk and wouldn't come. So I chased him down and threw him over my shoulder while he struggled and giggled. That's when this lady got in my face. She told me to put him down. I didn't want any problem, so I did. She said she'd already called the cops and tried to take him away. She grabbed his arm hard. He was calling out to me, so I told her to let him go, or we would have a physical confrontation. All of a sudden, she wasn't so anxious to be a hero. Marcus hid behind me, and we waited for the cops. The lady had her phone out and was recording me. When the cops showed up,

they separated the three of us to talk to us. I'd already called my wife. She was livid. She's a tiny Welsh woman who doesn't take flack from anyone. The cops had already figured everything out when my wife showed up. They were still trying to get a hold of Marcus' mom and dad. They're away for the weekend. Anyway, my wife pulls out her phone for the cops

and shows them an album that she has of me and Marcus for the last nine years. Then, she points to the bruise on Marcus' arm where the woman grabbed him. The cop said the lady was just trying to help. I asked them, if I had given him the bruise, would I also get a pass? They ended up arresting the woman, handcuffs and everything. No clue what happened after that. Now I'm wondering if I could have handled it better. Am I the butthole for what happened?

How could I have done better? Yo, this lady basically tried to take your kid. You know, not your kid actually, but the kid that you're sworn to protect. Them's fighting words. She's lucky she didn't get decked out. I can understand her concern, not because of the whole Hispanic guy grabbing a white kid thing. But the slinging a kid over a shoulder, that would definitely get my attention as a dad. I'd be like, oh, is this a friendly, playful sling over the shoulder? Or is this

a capture and run sling over the shoulder? But if the kid's giggling, I'd be like, okay, they're just playing, whatever. And this is coming from someone in a mixed race family. I have been similarly profiled for playing with a kid who doesn't look like me, and it does not feel good. My situation definitely wasn't as bad as OPs, but it still sucked. So, O.P., I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving the lady two out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for quitting my chore of cooking two nights a week because my little sister keeps ruining it and my parents expect me to start over every time?

I'm a 16-year-old boy and the oldest of four. I have two brothers, who's 13 and 11, and a little sister who's 8. My 11-year-old brother is autistic. He goes to therapy twice a week until late, and my parents always struggled to cook those nights. We used to do takeout. Then, last year, my parents asked if I would cook two nights a week, and they offered to remove one of my chores in place of it.

I was like, yeah, because at the time, I really didn't mind. A few months ago, my little sister started acting out and being difficult with a lot of stuff. She wants to stay up late, and she throws tantrums over not getting new toys or what she wants. The other thing is, she hates not getting to choose what we have for dinner, and she starts throwing her dinner on the floor and when I cook she started to knock stuff onto the floor while I'm cooking or prepping stuff or she'll spit in the food to make me throw it out or she'll dump ketchup or mayo in it and it's always when I have stuff sort of close to being done or when I've been making dinner for a while already I stopped her a few times but she'll try

over and over again until she can win or she'll start spitting and aiming for dinner My parents never say anything to her, and they expect me to start over when she messes with it. They got mad at me a couple of times when I refused to start over when I was trying to take up dinner and my sister spoiled it. My sister doesn't listen to me either. She'll scream at me that I can't stop her, and it's so frustrating. I spoke to my parents so many times, and they told me to keep calm and redo when I need to. But I reached a point where I couldn't do it anymore because I wanted to kick her out of the house when she was acting like that, and I know I can't. She's only eight. But man, is it frustrating and she's so brady about it. So I quit cooking twice a week and I started doing my old chore again instead. My parents told me I don't

get to just quit and they're fighting with me because they think cooking is more important and I'm quitting too easy. They said we need to eat and I was doing something really good for our family and I'm not old enough to realize the impact. Am I the butthole? Yo, if your parents think that cooking is so important? Why don't they protect the cook and stop the person who's sabotaging the cook? Are they stupid? What's that old phrase? Don't bite the hand that feeds? Or alternatively, don't spit on the hand that feeds? Sounds like the sister is going through something that's deeper than just she doesn't like what's being made for dinner. It seems to me like it might be attention-seeking behavior, probably because the parents don't really care about her or pay attention to her. Or just

give her the attention she needs, so she's lashing out. O.P., you get zero out of five. buttholes. I'm giving the parents 2.5 out of five buttholes and your little sister, two out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for snapping and asking our server, would you like us to order less? So for context, I'm 34 weeks pregnant. After work today, I met up with a friend and my husband at raw bar for oysters and beer. I can't have either of those things right now, but I was happy just to be out. I walked in a few minutes after them, just as they were being greeted by the server. When I walked up, she looked at me and said, I see you waddling up, you can't eat here.

I laughed it off. I assumed this was just an off-color joke, and I told her I was happy just to hang out. After ordering drinks, my husband started talking with her about the oyster selection. I introduced my husband to oysters a few years ago. When I'm not pregnant, going out for oysters and beers is one of our things. I normally order the oysters, as he doesn't know much about the different types and how the flavor changes by region.

It's not a big deal. it's just something that I know more about. He normally chooses our beers because that's something he knows more about. So after the server told us about the different choices, I started discussing them with my husband and telling him which ones I thought that he would like. The server seemed annoyed by this and made a comment about how I was being bossy. I ignored her, ordered the oysters from my husband, and made no other comments on anything else that was ordered for the table. After the first round of food, my husband wanted more oysters, so he called the server back over, and he asked me to tell her which oysters he liked so he could get more.

This is where things went south. At his request, I ordered for him. The server, looking very annoyed, said that I was pushing him around and then said, I hope you come back when you're not pregnant, so I can get to know the real you. I snapped and asked pointedly, would you like us to order less? She got quiet, walked away, and a new server helped her. us for the rest of our night. Now, I do think she was out of line, but pregnancy hormones are real and I worry that I should have just seen this as a harmless clowning and not have snapped at her.

Our friend says that I was in the right. My husband says it wasn't worth engaging in. So Reddit, am I the butthole? I actually have quite a unique experience here. I am not a foodie. I don't care what I eat or where we go to eat. My wife is the total opposite. She's a huge foodie. She will do extensive research on restaurants. She will look at pictures. She will read reviews. So before she even steps foot in the restaurant, she knows exactly what she wants to order. And I've discovered over the years that, to be honest, because she knows what I like so well, and because she knows the restaurant that we're going to so well, it's better to just let her order. Because often I'll order something and it comes out, you know, it's not that great. And she would say, well, yeah, I saw the pictures.

It didn't look that great. So usually if I just let her order, because of her incredible expertise, I have a better meal. So I'd say probably like 90% of the time, I just let her order every meal. So I'd say probably like 90% of the time, I just let her order everything at the entire restaurant. And we've been together, I don't even know, 15 years, and we've been doing this and every time we go out. And I have never once in those 15 years had a single waiter or waitress made any comment, positive or negative, about my wife ordering all the food. So I literally, I don't know what this woman's problem is. I guess she's sexy. I think, and she thinks that women should be under men.

So the fact that you were ordering for your husband is bad? I guess I really can't even understand it's really stupid. I don't even understand why you tolerated it. The second my server calls me bossy, I'd be asking for a manager. You know, I don't want to sound like a Karen here, but who wants to be insulted during your meal? That's also a slightly sexist comment. Bossy is used almost exclusively for women. I don't think I've ever heard a guy called bossy.

Oh, here we go, there's a comment from someone who owns a restaurant from Calamity Clambake. I own a restaurant, I would fire her. Commenting on someone's pregnancy at all risks liability exposure. Legally, we can't discriminate based on pregnancy. Even if you're about to pop, if you order oysters and a beer, that server has to serve you just as she would anyone else. She doesn't know you're pregnant, and it's illegal for her to ask. Well, then that is the answer of answers right there.

O.P., you get zero out of five buttholes. This weird server, I don't know what her issue is. I'm giving her two out of, nah, one out of, one point five out of five buttholes, I guess. Am I the butthole for ditching my friend at the airport for doing a stupid prank? I went overseas with three friends. We live in the U.S. One of them was having her partner pick her up when we got back home.

I was the ride for the other friend. We live about an hour away from the airport. He had the right idea to joke when going through immigration that when the officer asked where we were coming from, he thought that it would be real funny to tell him, North Korea, we actually went to Seoul, South Korea. So, we all get pulled back into secondary questioning because of this moron. They let me and my other friend out when we showed our passport, itinerary, credit card activity showing that we'd been in Seoul the entire time, then they let us go.

They kept the moron back for about two to three hours more before letting him go. I just went straight home and refused to wait for him. It was late, so he had to get a hotel by the airport, then rent a car to get back home. He said I should have waited for him. I said, play stupid games, win stupid prizes. You're lucky you didn't go to prison or have your passport revoked. Am I the butthole? I really like this top comment from stop spinning like that.

For me, the top two situations for not ever pulling a prank would be, one, at the airport. Two, when being held at gunpoint. in that order. You're not the butthole, right? Literally, I'm not exaggerating. Every single time my wife and I go through customs, my wife gives me a pep talk saying, don't make any

dumb jokes. And I just bite my tongue, keep my mouth shut. Yes, sir, no ma'am. I'm here for pleasure. I'm here for business, whatever. And just don't say, oh, you mean the bomb in my backpack? Because it's stupid. Because that will get you arrested. Because you'll be detained for like 10 hours while they do

an extensive background check. That was our slash am I the butthole. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.