rSlash - r/AITA Boyfriend Keeps Throwing Away My Dinner

Episode Date: July 14, 2026

0:00 Intro 0:06 Name 3:59 BF home 7:07 Dinner 9:43 Anniversary Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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That sofa was four days old. You should have ordered from Wayfair. With Wayfair, there's no what if. Just style you love and quality you can trust. Visit Wayfair.ca. Wayfair, every style, every home. Welcome to R slash Am I the Butthole, where OP experiences racism because of her name, Moon Shadow.

Am I the butthole for not going by a different name than my birth name because it makes my friends uncomfortable? I'm a 21-year-old woman. And I've always been question about my name. My name is Moon Shadow, and it's after a song and astrological effect. O.P. also, I don't know if you're aware of this, but I'm like 99% certain that Moon Shadow is also the name of a character in World of Warcraft. I think it's the priestess of Allune's Tiger Mount. I'm wrong. The name of her mount is Ashala, but there are several moon shadows in World of Warcraft.

I've dealt with questions my whole life. and most of my teachers throughout school would refer to me by my middle name because it was easier to remember. Now that I'm an adult, I get less comments or questions. My friends have never seemed to care about my name, and I never really thought anyone did because it's just my name. However, the other day, we were supposed to meet up at a restaurant, and I walked into this weird vibe. Basically, all of my friends had staged an intervention to tell me that they wanted me to go by a different name because they felt uncomfortable with using Moon Shadow. When I asked why, they said that my name sounded Native American

and that by using it, I was appropriating Native American culture. I pointed out that I was Cherokee, and they said that I didn't act it, so it didn't count. At that point, I was irritated and snapped at them saying that I wasn't going to change my name because they're racist, which was probably out of line, looking back. I left after that, and now my phone is being blown up, by messages from the group and people outside of it saying that I'm being a bad friend for not

respecting a boundary. What? I honestly don't see anything wrong with my name, but having so many people tell me that I'm in the wrong is messing with me. I would really appreciate some advice. Then OP posted an update. I met with the group yesterday to try to talk this out. It was pretty tense when I got there, and we were all pretty quiet until everyone arrived. I started with saying that I'm not going to change my name, and I asked why they thought it was appropriate to ask me to. There was a lot of back and forth, and basically repeating what was said the other day, but after I pushed a bit more, one of them, Cam, blew up on me. Cam basically had a list of grievances with me, most of them being related to my heritage, disabilities, and how I dressed. Long story short,

I've been working on myself and my health more, and she didn't like the changes. She's She said that I was selfish for thinking you're better than everyone, and that I was making everyone uncomfortable. After a while of arguing with the group, I decided that I wanted to leave. I texted our group chat later that I wouldn't be contacting them again, and that I was done with them. I had to block them after that because they started sending me some pretty nasty messages. I'm still pretty upset about cutting them off, but I know that friends don't act like this.

I have friends outside of this group, so I'm not completely friendless now, which is good. I know I made the right decision, but it still kind of sucks. Okay, the line that stuck out to me as like, ooh, I can't believe they said that, was saying that you don't act Cherokee. The first thing that came to my mind was that joke from Ron Burgundy in, what is it, Parks and Rec, where someone's saying, you don't act like a winner, and he says, I am a winner. So by virtue of that fact, everything I do is acting like a winner. You know what I mean?

If OP is Cherokee, then by that logic, everything that OP does is acting like a Cherokee, right? So wouldn't O.P. and not the random friends be an authority on what is or isn't Cherokee? I don't know, man. I think you're just better off without these friends. I'm glad you came to that conclusion, O.P., because they're getting uptight and racist over absolutely nothing. Am I the butthole for giving my boyfriend an ultimatum for showing me his home? I've been dating a guy for almost three months now. We literally live 15 minutes walking distance away from each other, so we hang out almost daily.

He comes over to my place to watch movies, eat dinner, and play games together. But he refuses to invite me over to his place. Every time I ask him to hang out at his place, he tells me it's too messy and he doesn't want me to see it. He lives in a small apartment and has loads of free time to clean. I also offered to help him clean his home several times, but he refuses. He rejected the idea of hiring a professional cleaner too. I don't want us to only hang out at my home every time, and I've asked him to clean his home so many times now. I even

said I don't care about it being a mess. I just want my boyfriend to invite me over. He claims he is cleaning it bit by bit, but that's what he's been saying for three months now. Last week, I was fed up with it, and I told him I'm giving him an ultimatum of two weeks to show me his home, or we're done. He asked for a month. Eventually, we settled on three weeks, but he said that he probably won't make it. Keep in mind, this is a single-person apartment, so it's real small, and he has all the time in the world. But it's bugging me. Am I the butthole for demanding to see his place?

O.P., let's be super clear here. I don't think the problem is the messy apartment. I think the problem is either his mother, who lives in the apartment with him, or his girlfriend who lives in the apartment with him. Ah yes, someone in the comments points out that he could also be homeless and crashing in his friend's place, also very possible, or he could be a hoarder, also very possible. But I can almost guarantee you that the problem isn't just, uh, my apartment's kind of messy. It's because he's hiding a massive red flag. Down in the comments, tight stake posts this. My former boyfriend said that he had a roommate he, quote, used to date.

She, quote, didn't have much money and lived in his basement bedroom until she got her own place. I visited him a few times, but not very often. She was working when I visited. One day, he was on a business call, so I went to the bathroom. I brought six safety pins and pinned the basement bedroom top sheet to the bottom sheet. What OPE means by that is, if anyone slipped into the bed, they would immediately notice that the two pins were in the way, so they would have to unpin them in order to sleep comfortably in the bed. A few weeks later, I came to visit again, and the bid sheets were still pinned. I didn't even say a word. I just grabbed my purse and left.

Dozens of calls, flowers, spontaneous visits to my work. I refused to even talk to him. I ran into him maybe a year later out and about. He begged for another chance because he had no idea why we broke up. Six pins. That's why we broke up. Huh? What are you talking about? about. It took me six pins to prove that you're a liar. Not interested. That was 45 years ago and they're still together. They never got married. She was just okay with being his home meat platter. Will I be the butthole for asking my

daughter's boyfriend to stop having dinner with us? My daughter, who's 21, has been dating this 24-year-old guy for two years. It's fairly serious. He's from Mexico and has been in the U.S. since he was three years old. He has a strange phobia of not wanting anyone to see him eat. And it's real. I've literally never seen this kid put a bite of food into his mouth, despite spending a fair amount of time around him. He's thin, but doesn't look unhealthy. The problem is, we'll take them out to dinner occasionally for holidays or special occasions. He always orders a full meal. He'll cut up the food, push it around on his plate, but not eat any of it. Then after the meal, he'll donate. He'll his leftovers to someone else. It's even worse when I make home-cooked meals and they come to dinner.

He does the same thing, takes a full plate of food, pushes it around, cuts it up, makes it look messed with, but doesn't eat any of it. Then he'll scrape all the food into the trash can afterwards. I'm starting to get enraged over this. He wastes a horrendous amount of food, and I can't stand the money wasted when we buy him expensive restaurant meals that go completely. uneaten. It's even caused a few scenes with waiters asking him what's wrong. Do they need to change his order, etc. I've talked to my daughter privately and said, if he doesn't want to eat with us, that's fine. Just tell him to stop taking plates of food and ordering in restaurants. Her response was, but in his culture, it's rude for him to not take food. I'm not asking him to do that,

but I find it so rude that he's willing to keep wasting our money. Food isn't cheap. Will I be the butthole for just announcing that he's no longer? longer invited to meals. I've never heard of this custom in Mexico where you're not allowed to turn down food. Maybe that's true. You know, I got nothing against that custom. But it's also rude to accept someone's food and then just turn around and dump it in the trash can. That's an American rude thing to do. So doesn't O.P. get any say about that rude custom? Wouldn't it make more sense for the boyfriend to follow the American customs while in America than his Mexican customs while not in Mexico? You know, I don't want to begrudge the guy for holding on to his old custom from Mexico.

I'm just saying it's hypocritical. It's like a double standard. I feel like something's off here. There's no way this is acceptable activity in Mexico. If you're in Mexico and you go to someone's house and they offer you food and you're like, ah, gracios, and you take their food, and then you just turn around and dump it in the trash can. Surely they'll be offended, right? Am I the butthole for telling my brother's fiancee why he really missed their anniversary? My brother told his fiance that he missed their anniversary dinner because he got called into work. I knew that wasn't true because he was with me at a baseball game. He begged me not to say anything because he'd already lied and it would only make things worse. A few days later, his fiancee was talking about how

lucky she was to have someone who cared so much about his job and I couldn't keep my mouth shut. I told her where he actually was. She immediately left and now their wedding is on hold. My brother says I ruined his relationship over one stupid lie. And my parents think that I should have stayed out of it because it wasn't my business. I think she deserved to know that she was being lied to. Am I the butthole? I don't know, man, I think if you make someone your lying alibi, then that does kind of make it their business in a way. So, O.P. is justified. Also, there's a whole moral justification of not wanting to cover up a lie. So I think O.P. is in the clear. Though, you got to understand this is probably going to damage your relationship with your brother.

That was our slash am I the butthole. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.