rSlash - r/AITA Boyfriend Wants Me to Pretend to Be Japanese ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝

Episode Date: August 24, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:06 Affording kids 3:41 Move out 8:10 Parents visit 12:25 Asian ethnicity 13:45 Comment Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Welcome to R-slash, Am I the Butthole, where O.P. is expected to pay for his affair partner's babies. Am I the butthole for saying it's not my problem if my ex and her husband can't afford their kids? I'm a 30-year-old guy, and I was married to Marin, who, who's 30, and we had a son together who's now 8. When Marin was pregnant, I found out that she was cheating on me with James, who's 33. James had a girlfriend who was pregnant at the same time. When my son was born, we needed a DNA test to find out if I was the father or James was. As Marin's husband, I was the legal father, and that made it easier when the DNA result showed me that he was actually mine. Because she fought to name James as his father. Things were toxic.

James was there for everything in the later pregnancy and the birth, and Marin told me nothing. Her parents were the ones who gave me info on when my son was born so I could file with the courts for a DNA test and custody, and our son's birth was also when our divorce could proceed. James' ex ended up giving him custody of their daughter, so they had her full time, and my son 50% of the time. Then, a year and a half later, they had a daughter together. At this point, they had James' daughter and four children together. I won custody of my son three and a half years ago because in order to force more money out of me, they wouldn't feed him enough and let him wear dirty old clothes.

And I only paid child support because I earned more than Marin. But we had equal parenting time back then. So now, Marin sees our son every other weekend. My son's in therapy to help him with all the mess he's witnessed and been a part of in some way in his young life. Marin was also ordered to pay a small amount of child support, but she only paid a few times. She always uses the excuse that she can't afford it, and that might be true. I never push it because I can take care of my son without her. For the past two years, Marin has looked to me to buy extra school supplies and share them among the two school-age kids she has. So her stepdaughter and

first daughter with James. I've always ignored those requests and sent my son with supplies and donated a few to his class as requested. I've never bought a single thing for the other children in my ex's house, Two weeks ago, my son had a small surgery and Marin showed up. Marin brought up the school supplies issue and asked me to please be decent about this and get some supplies for her girls because they couldn't afford them. She told me they struggled to support the kids they have as it is and their other kids suffer. I tried to move away from her, but she followed me to another table. So I told her, I don't care if they can't afford their other kids.

I told her that her other children are not my responsibility, and she needs to figure something else out. I told her she already denied our kid food to try and get money out of me, and she lost most of her time with him as a result, and my priority was my kid, not the kids that she keeps having. I told her I would not discuss it with her again, and I haven't, but she sent many messages through the co-parenting app the courts have ordered us to use, where she calls me a butthole and not a good dad to our kid. My lawyer knows, he tells me to keep ignoring her.

And for those who might wonder, this will not remove her visitation with him. It was difficult enough to get primary custody after her denying our son enough food to try to make me pay more. Unless my kid is older and doesn't want to see her, or CPS removes the other kids, nothing will change regarding visitation. So am I the butthole? This is solidly not your problem, OP. You get zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your cheating X three out of five butt holes.

Buttholes. Will I be the butthole if I refuse my brother-in-law's request that I temporarily move out of my own house? My wife and I had been married for 20 years, dating since 16. Before the age of 21, I was a degenerate. I cheated, got in trouble with the law, I was abusive, never physical, but definitely verbal. I was horrible. This woman never left my side, not once. The day we found out she was pregnant, it's like a switch flipped in my head. My wife kept our baby against her parents' wishes. They wanted nothing to do with me. I don't blame them.

Her parents and siblings basically disowned her after that. I completely turned my life around. Married her, went back to school, got a job, had another wonderful kid, got another degree, started a business. I make sure she never needs to work a day in her life. My life now revolves around making hers easier. We just renewed our vows last year. Time passed and my wife made amends with her family.

but to this day, they don't acknowledge me. Again, I don't blame them. My wife's family lost her childhood home when she was around 13 when her parents divorced. It's been in her family for generations. My wife always wanted to own it again. Over the last decade, I kept a tab on it. About three years ago, the house went up for sale and we bought it. My wife and I have been living there since. Our kids are in college, so it's just the two of us and life has been very peaceful. Last month, my father father-in-law died. Now, my mother-in-law is alone and needs a new place to stay. One of my wife's sisters never left the house or got married, and lives with and takes care of my mother-in-law full time. None of my wife's siblings can afford to take them in currently. My wife and I had a great

idea. My mother-in-law and her sister can move into our house. It was their home once, so it'll be familiar. We have more than enough space and funds to support both of them very comfortably, and I thought that it was a great opportunity for me to improve my relationship with them, too. Recently, I got a call for my brother-in-law. He liked the idea. Thanks, that's the best case scenario for everyone, except he has one condition. All the siblings want me to move out. As long as their mother is in that house, they don't want to deal with my presence whenever they want to visit their mother. They also don't want to feel under my roof. I was ready to say no until he said this, that him and his siblings had to spend years of their growing up dealing with the fallout of their

parents losing their oldest daughter to me. The last thing I can give her is to let their mother have her kids around peacefully in the house. In their defense, my wife's parents did become crazy strict on the rest of the siblings after my wife left with me. But that was years ago. We're all in our 40s now. They don't care if my wife stays or moves with me. They just want me gone. The family is planning to place my mother-in-law in a nursing home when her health deteriorates, which we're guessing will be in a year or two. They're not trying to claim ownership of the house. I trust my wife and her family on that. They're just that appalled by my presence and want me to live somewhere temporarily while they take care of their mother in the last few years.

On one hand, I want to laugh at how ridiculous his request is. On another, maybe I owe it to that family. The one thing that's weirdly missing from this post is the wife's opinion. Because that kind of sets the tone for the entire post. If the wife is against her husband moving out, which I'm guessing she is based on their dating history, then it's like a non-issue. Go F yourself, brother-in-law. But if she does want O.P. to move out, then O.P. doesn't have a brother-in-law problem.

He has a wife problem. Oh, here we go. We have an update. I spoke to my wife about it. She shut it down. I told her exactly how I feel about it, and she called her sister, the one who's been taking care of the mom.

I guess the brother is not exactly the one calling the shots in this situation. The siblings are all well aware of what he thinks of me, but she sounded surprised that he actually asked me outright to move out. Her concern is mainly my mother-in-law's ease of living. There's not many options. The plan now is they'll probably move in by the end of the month. I will not be going anywhere. We're going to figure it out as a family.

My brother-in-law can choose to not visit his mother if he feels that strongly about it. I agree. O.P., you get zero out of five buttholes. The brother-in-law is nuts. Am I the butthole for refusing to wake up my husband when my parents visited and kicking them out when they insisted? My husband and I have been married for five years now and we're both 29 years old. The last three weeks, due to a complete screw up in a department in the company my husband

works for, it's been all hands on deck for my husband and his team to resolve the issues. My husband's been working 18 hours a day, and even some days, not even coming home, working through the entire night and into the next day. I don't know much about the issues exactly, but what I do know is that if they don't resolve the issues, it'll be a $50 million loss for the company. The issues are not the result of my husband or anyone in his team, but they're the ones who have to fix the issues. I can see the exhaustion in my husband's face when he comes in at two to three in the morning when I'm awake and leaves at seven again. I don't know how he's doing it and just keeps going, but I try my best to keep as much as possible off his plate at home until he gets the issue resolved.

Before this, he's been nothing but supportive and helpful around the house. When he comes home, he eats, showers, and goes straight to bed. I found him some nights literally sleeping at the table while he was busy eating when I went down to check on him because he wasn't in bed yet and I got woken up or him passed out on the foot of the bed with the shower running and him still in his work clothes. Two nights ago he got home around midnight which is late but was too early from when he normally got back

and I thought something bad happened because he looked like a ghost but through his exhaustion he gave me this massive smile and said they did it. Everything is done. He told me the boss gave them each a couple of days off, and he only needs to be in the office next week, Tuesday. He ate dinner, took a shower, and got into bed. I got up the next morning around 9 and made breakfast. I thought about waking up my husband, but I didn't and I let him sleep. Around noon, my parents visited me. I normally work from home, and they do visit from time to time, seeing as I'm six months pregnant as well.

I greeted them, and we sat down and had coffee. Around 30 minutes into their visit, they asked where my husband was because they saw his truck in the driveway. I told them he was sleeping. My mother gave me a look and said it's unacceptable for my husband to still be sleeping past noon, especially with a pregnant wife, and I should wake him up. I told them no and to leave it, and then explained the full situation of what happened the last three weeks. They didn't budge and insisted I wake my husband up. Apparently, it's not right for him to sleep in with a pregnant wife. It went as far as my mother standing up and saying, if I wouldn't do it, then she would and she would wake him up. I stood up and blocked my mother from going up the stairs and told my parents,

if they find it so wrong for my husband to get proper sleep after three weeks of barely any sleep, then they should leave our house because I will not and refuse to let them wake him up as well. I told them I'll let my husband sleep until he wakes himself up. I will not disturb him, and I won't allow anyone else to disturb him. They asked if I was kicking them out, and I said yes. If they can't respect my request to leave my husband alone and let him sleep, they're no longer welcome. Their whole visit lasted around an hour. Around 3 p.m., I got bombarded with texts from other family members berating me for kicking my parents out of our house, even my sister and brother berating me for doing it,

telling me I'm the butthole for kicking them out for just trying to help. Even after I explained the situation, some family members are still on my parents' side, saying I overreacted by kicking them out because they were only looking out for my safety, seeing as I'm pregnant. The really ironic thing about this post is the reason why they wanted O.P.'s husband to be awake is so O.P.'s husband could help O.P. with chores and such because she's pregnant. But if the parents were so concerned about that, then they could have helped O.P. with her chores. They could have done the laundry or cooked a meal or clean the house, but no, they want to wake up the exhausted husband and force him to do it. O.P. is super justified, zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving the parents 1.5 out of five buttholes.

Am I the butthole for telling my boyfriend that I wouldn't pretend to be Japanese to impress his old high school friends? I'm a 23-year-old Chinese woman living in America. My boyfriend, whose 23, is American and white. I'm somewhat aware of a weird thing for Asian women that some white American guys have. But most of my boyfriend's exes are African-Americans, so I don't. thought that I was in the clear. He's going to attend an event that includes many friends from high school. He told me he wants his friends to think that I'm Japanese. He said I don't have to outright say it. I can just do something subtle to give them that impression. One person who will be there is an ex-girlfriend of his. She's African American. He promises that his

ex has nothing to do with him wanting people to think that I'm Japanese. He said it's for his male friends. Even though it's people he rarely sees so this is maybe a one-time thing, I told him I would not pretend to be Japanese. Unless it's required, I avoid telling people I'm Chinese. I feel people put too much stock into where people are born, and I want people to get to know me for me. My boyfriend still wants to go with me, but now he seems like he's dreading it. Am I the butthole? Okay. Reddit is already thinking what I'm thinking. Down in the Commons, Rare Psychology says, he's dreading it because he already told them that you're Japanese because he's a wee-a-boo fetishizer. Yep, probably used to watch anime and play JRP's with his old

nerdy friends and they would fantasize about having Japanese wifus and now he's been caught with his pants down, so to speak. I say dump him, O.P., he should love you for you, not because of what you appear to be to others. Then, O.P. posted an update. I have a tiny update. As a the conversation I had with my boyfriend was less than two hours long. He promises that he doesn't care that I'm Chinese instead of Japanese. He admitted he's physically attracted to women who aren't white. He promises that his old high school friends don't have anti-Chinese sentiments. He admitted it was a stupid competitive thing between him and his friends. He said his friends will be impressed that I'm Chinese, but one of his other friends has a South Korean girlfriend. In their weird

ranking, even though Chinese is ranked high, South Korean is ranked higher. For them, the only thing that ranks higher than South Korean is Japanese. I broke up with him. I told him that he and his friends need to have more respect for women. That was our slash am I the butthole. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.