rSlash - r/AITA Deadbeat Son Wants to Steal My Money

Episode Date: October 7, 2026

0:00 Intro 0:07 Loan 4:13 Inheritance 6:38 No invite 9:01 Fundraiser 11:19 Breakfast order Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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If you're ready to finally launch your business before Black Friday, go to Shopify.com to start your free trial. That's Shopify.com. Go to Shopify.com today to hear your first. Hey, I'm Ike Barrenholz. On my new show, funny you ask, trivia starts the conversation, and then things immediately go off the rails. I ask a question. My guests think they know the answer. Sometimes they do. More often, they do not. And then the conversation takes a turn. One trivia question turns into stories. about career highs, painful bombs, and behind the scenes moments that probably should have remained private. You'll hear confidence, misplace confidence, bold guesses, wrong answers, quick laughs, and the slow realization that maybe this was a bad idea to say out loud. If you like smart

comedy, sharp conversations, and trivia that exists purely to melt people's brains, this is Funny You Ask with me, Ike Barrenholz. Follow Funny You Ask with Ike Barrenholz on Spotify, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Welcome to R-slash, Am I the Butthole, where O.P.'s son effectively steals $45,000 from him. Am I the butthole for insisting our son payback alone? I'm a mom of five adult children. To make a long story short, we lent our son and his wife $50,000 to put down on a home. The term we drew up was that after a one-year grace period, they would begin paying us back $5,000 per year over 10 years, interest, except that any late payments would incur a 20% interest fee.

We did this for two of our daughters, and it worked just fine. Both paid us back fully within six or seven years. However, our son has always struggled with responsibility and making wise choices. And a big part of me had reservations about this loan. My husband said that we had to be fair with all the kids, so we did it. After the one-year grace period, our son began to pay us back, but frequently grudely grud. to us about how it was so hard to scrape up the money with the new baby, job changes, leaky roof, whatever. I felt bad taking his money, but he's 29 and this was our deal. I still would

bring him groceries, diapers, formula, etc. to help out. The first year, they paid us $3,200, so $1,800 short, and we attached a 20% fee to the late funds. He then got angry with us for that, even though it was written in our loan contract, and he said that we were stealing food out of the baby's mouth. This is my grandson, and we adore him. Again, I felt awful. The second year, our son lost his job and told us he needed a pause on the loan, and he never paid us anything back. He was now $6,800 in arrears. He got a new job, and one night my husband sat him and his wife down and told him that, while we loved them both very much, We needed them to take this loan as seriously as if it were from a bank. That's when they disclosed that they were also in arrears with the bank and several credit cards.

Meanwhile, they had taken a vacation to Mexico and to Vegas and bought a brand new pickup truck. And my daughter-in-law picks up takeout almost every night. It is now year three, and he's only paid $500 so far this year. Anytime we mention the loan, he screams at us and tells us we're trying to destroy his family and starve his kids, which is so not the case. He accuses us of being greedy and not really needing the money back. He's claimed that we're toxic and contributing to his poor mental health with all the stress. This last weekend, they told us that they're considering going no contact because we keep pushing their boundaries, and we're starting to negatively impact his family.

We don't bring it up constantly. We're careful to only mention it once every two to three months. This whole situation makes me sick, and I desperately wish we had not lent the money. It's such a sore subject, and our older daughters are now also angry with us for lending him the money to begin with. They paid back their loans, after all. They want us to get a judgment against our son. I just want family peace, and I'm wondering if I should just write off the loan and let it go. Am I the butthole for expecting my son to make good on a contract that we both signed? Or should I just let it go? Yes, I know, I'm an idiot for lending the money.

So here's the unfortunate situation that you're in O.P. If you pursue the loan, you will damage the relationship with your son. But if you forgive the loan, you'll damage the relationship with the other four kids who did pay back the loan. So this is a lose-lose situation. So at the bare minimum, you should punish the one-dose. child who's being toxic and not the other four kids who are being good kids. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes, but I do have to give you a two out of five stupid score because you should have seen this coming, O.P. One possibly simple solution is to just forgive the loan and tell the other kids,

hey, don't worry, I'll make it fair during the inheritance step. You know, the sun gets one dollar and everyone else gets 50K or whatever. Am I the butthole for not entertaining the idea of making up my cousin's inheritance and disengaging from the family drama, I'm a 31-year-old woman, and my grand, who is 90, died six months ago. She had three children, four grandchildren, and one great-grandchild. I'm my mom's only child, and her son has the other three and the great-grandchild. In Grand's will, she left everything divided equally to her three children, minus set amounts for the grandchildren and great-grandchild. She made changes to her will about five years before her passing. She didn't divulge much. She just told my mom and I that she saw her solicitor to change her

will and did say to me that as her only grandchild who went on to get degrees, she wanted to make sure that I wasn't in debt. It turns out that she changed her will so that I get the same amount as the other four. She also paid for a grad course I did a few years ago after she found out that I'd already started. She did help out many other family members in similar ways. My uncle found a copy of her old will and her new one while sorting some bits out from her house. Turns out that in the old will, me and his eldest daughter were getting the same in the old will and three times what the boys were getting. Fast forward a bit. And it's become a whole thing where without even properly speaking to myself and my mom about it, we've become the villains in this story. My uncle and his

eldest are fuming. They've been telling the whole family about their dismay. My uncle's only real attempt to talk about it during a conversation about the house was to make a comment about how us girl should still be getting the same, and that I could give a sum of mine to make hers up. I told him that would not be happening, and that I think being angry about what someone else decided to do with their money is petulant. My grand made her own decisions, was of sound mind until the very end, and would be disgusted at the sense of entitlement they're displaying. I've refused to continue talking or caring about it. mom is very upset about the situation and being almost blamed, but honestly, I'm over it. Am I the

butthole for shutting it all down? If your uncle had gotten extra money, I would love to know if he would write you a check to make up the difference. I doubt it. If your uncle's upset, he should take it up with your dead grand, because she's the one who made this decision, not you or your mom. O.P., you get zero out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling a friend why we don't invite her out anymore. A few months ago, a new girl started tagging along with my friend group, Mia, who's 32. She's a nice enough person, so we all didn't have a problem with it, at first. Then we decided to watch a movie together, and Mia talked through the entire thing. She kept a running commentary going through the whole movie. She would mention plot holes, trivia about the actors,

just general nonsense. We were watching the movies streaming at someone's house, so it was annoying, but we all got over it. Then we went to see. the Odyssey in IMAX, and she kept whispering to me the entire movie. Like a full-on running commentary about every little difference there was between the poem and the movie. Fun facts about Matt Damon, she basically didn't shut up the entire movie. I'd been sitting next to her, and I asked her to be quiet a few times, but she didn't seem to get the message. A few weeks later, a friend said that he got tickets to see something rotten, which is a musical. Someone else said, don't invite Mia, so we created a second group chat without Mia to coordinate that show.

We went without Mia and had a good time. The next time we were going to do a movie night at someone's home, we didn't invite Mia. We invited her to a boating day we did, so it wasn't like we were excluding her from everything. Last week, the non-Mia group chat decided to go see Rock of Ages at the theater where I work and asked if I could get them a deal on tickets. Mia apparently found out about this get-together and called me to ask why we hadn't invited her.

I decided to be blunt and told her, because you won't shut up when we're watching stuff. Mia seemed to get offended and apparently went to the rest of my friend group to get the truth. Some told her straight up why, and others left her on red or lied about the plans. Now my friend group is divided. Some think that it was right to tell Mia the truth, while others think that we should have lied to spare her feelings. Nobody wants to invite her to the show, though.

So am I the butthole? I can understand being annoyed by Mia's behavior. but why not just talk to her, you know, after the movie be like, hey, I don't like people talking to me during a movie, so could you please stop that? You didn't even really give her a chance to be better. So, in my opinion, everyone sucks here. This is like stupid, petty, passive aggressive, childhood drama, which is surprising considering you're 32. Am I the butthole for refusing to sell candy to fundraise from my office? I work in an office of about 20 people. For years, I've kept a candy bowl in my office, and I tell everyone to stop by whenever they need some chocolate to brighten their day.

Sometimes, if I've done a Costco run, I'll also throw in other random things like small bags of fruit snacks into the bowl. Occasionally, coworkers will chip in, and I'll find a random $5 bill on my desk, or a bag of candy that someone else bought. But for the most part, I pay for the candy out of pocket and probably spend about 40 bucks every two to three months to refill it. It's popular, and people stop by all day for a little sugar. Separate from that, my office has a small committee that's supposed to be dedicated to creating a positive

environment by organizing social events like happy hours and decorating for the holidays. This committee sells snacks to fundraise for the events. So there's a shelf in the lobby full of chips, crackers, etc. that people can buy. They pay for the snacks out of the same funds that purchases go into, so it's a small margin of profit. But they save enough to occasionally buy the office lunch for a social event. I think it's important to note that my candy bowl existed for years before this committee ever did. Recently, the committee approached me and said that I should sell my candy instead to help fundraise for the office events. I said, no, my candy bowl is and always will be free, for anyone who wants it. I do it because it makes me happy. They then told me I was taking away

from their profits by offering free food, and that I wasn't being a team player in the office. So, am I the butthole? I like this top reply. Not the butthole. Remove the bowl and tell anyone who asks why. I don't know how they're calling you not a team player when you're literally giving free food to the team. You're just not on their specific tiny committee team, and that makes them mad. Well, too bad. You don't even need to make this post, O.P. It's clear you're a very nice and considerate person and you're coming to write it for justification. Just say, no, that's a complete sentence. You don't have to explain yourself. You don't have to argue. Just say, no, it's my candy. I'll do what you want. Go screw yourself. That last sentence is optional. Am I the butthole for

ordering exactly what I wanted for breakfast? My little sister, Lilith, has been married to Josh for eight years now. They don't live in poverty, but my wife and make a lot more than they do. So when we go out, it's generally us picking up the bill. I'm not throwing any shade. I don't mind paying for my friends or family to have a good time. I'm just dating a fact. We pay 95% of the time. I'm fine with that. So Josh hit me up at about 6 a.m. and asked me if we were free for breakfast this morning. I didn't have to go to work until 11 a.m., so I said, sure. We met them at the diner at 7.30. When I go to this diner for breakfast, I always order the same thing, the lumberjack breakfast. It's three pancakes, three eggs, three slabs of scrapple,

a huge portion of hash browns, and two biscuits. It also comes with bottomless coffee and orange juice. It's the second most expensive thing on the menu, behind steak and eggs. We sit around chatting and eating. We're there for about an hour and a half. Unbeknownst to me, Josh had pulled the server aside when we first sat down and gave her his card to pay. He wanted to flex his new promotion, again unbeknownst to me, by paying for breakfast. So he pays the bill and leaves a decent tip. I offered to pay, but he insisted. I have nothing but love for my sister, and I've never had any problems with Josh before. But 10 minutes after we got home, Josh started texting me asking why I had to order something so expensive while I knew they were struggling. I had to

no idea they were struggling. He insisted on paying even after he heard me order the lumberjack. I would have happily paid the bill like I usually do. But apparently the man wanted to flex on us, but me ordering the same thing I order every time we go there was not in his expected budget. This guy's flexing is like a five-year-old kid flexing his biceps. Not that impressive. If you have to haggle over what, an extra of $5, $10? How exactly? How exactly? expensive can this lumberjack breakfast possibly be? Your brother-in-law is pathetic and stupid. What a combination. Zero out of five buttholes, O.P. I hope your breakfast was tasty. That was our slash am I the butthole. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out

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