rSlash - r/AITA Did I Get a Girl Pregnant with Fingers?

Episode Date: July 10, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:06 Anatomy 1:39 Comment 2:28 Alaska 4:34 Self defense 7:07 Gift 11:23 Passionate hugs 13:41 Magic collection Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prime Day is here so you can get a great deal on a new footspa. Transforming you into the queen of kicking it. Wait, this has bubble jets. Hmm. Okay. Shop great Prime Day deals now. What's better than a well-marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue? A well-marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue that was carefully selected by an Instacart shopper and delivered to your door. Welcome to r slash am I the blood hole where OP's girlfriend thinks that she gets pregnant exclusions and terms apply. Instacart. Groceries that over-deliver. Welcome to r slash am i the butthole where OP's girlfriend thinks that she gets pregnant

from fingering. Am I the butthole for not entertaining a girl who thinks that I got her pregnant from fingering? I'm a 21 year old guy and I went on like two dates with this girl who's 18. The first date was alright but I wasn't really feeling her. I tried to end it with a kiss, and she told me that she didn't know how to kiss. That turned into me trying to teach her how to kiss, and honestly, I should have known that she was a bit too young for me right there. I decided to give it one more shot.

Second date, we went to the movies. She decided she wanted to help me out. I finished, cleaned up, then helped her out. That was it. No intercourse, no anything beyond that. I thought it was mutual that we weren't super into each other because neither of us reached out after. A few weeks ago, she texted me saying that her period is three weeks late and she's really scared. She even sent me articles saying that pregnancy can happen from fingering if there's somehow sperm involved. I told her to calm down, that it's super unlikely. One, my hands didn't even touch my sperm. And two, sperm can't survive that long and that's what I told her. I kind of left it at that. I thought it was pretty effing funny that she actually

thinks that she's pregnant. Now she keeps blowing up my phone. I've honestly started to ignore her. My friends think it's funny but also say it's kind of messed up that I'm ignoring her when she's scared. I tried to reassure her but I don't know what else I could do. Am I the butthole? Down in the comments we have this story from Lunasta. I thought that I got pregnant in middle school because my boyfriend at the time gave me gum. Then he told me after class that he had stuck the gum down his pants. I didn't want lunch detention for the next day, so I swallowed the gum. And when my period was late, I thought the gum had caused me to be pregnant because boy

stuff probably got into my stomach and started making a baby. I now work in public health with adolescent prevention focused on teen pregnancy and healthy relationship education. LOL. This reply from Pinkie Narf Narf. If only there was a way for her to know if she's pregnant, like a test or something. And then Robe Guy's act says, like an IQ test? Yeah, this feels like a zero butthole across the board situation. No one's a butthole, just kinda stupid. Should I, a 24 year old woman, move to Alaska without my 26 year old boyfriend to get my

life together? I live in South Carolina in my mom's house rent free. My boyfriend also lives with me. Right now he's unemployed. He lost his last job because he couldn't constantly wake up on time and he has no savings. I've been carrying a lot of the responsibility in the relationship, financially and otherwise. My mom lives in a very remote part of Alaska, Dillingham, and called me tonight offering us a great opportunity. Jobs up there pay really well, and the cost of living is offset by the benefits of isolation.

Basically, a few years up there could allow me to save a ton of money and come back to the lower 48 states and buy land or a house in cash. My mom is totally supportive and said that we could stay with her while we get set up. I was really excited and told my boyfriend about it. His response was, I don't know, and he just kept playing his guitar. I let him know that I'm seriously thinking about going and his only response was, okay, well, I'm probably not going to go. Here's the thing, I'm very independent and I love to travel. I've been to almost every state, while he's never left the Carolinas.

He doesn't fly and has never really shown ambition when it comes to money or life planning. We've been together for almost two years, and I've never seen him save money or take real financial responsibility. So here I am wondering, is this life giving me an out? Should I go to Alaska, set myself up, and stop waiting around for someone who won't grow up to grow with me? OP, this relationship is already over, you just haven't realized it yet. This is the type of boyfriend that in like five or ten years you're gonna look back and think, what was I thinking? OP, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I don't know if the boyfriend deserves any buttholes

because he's not really mean, he's just lazy, and you know, they're growing apart because OP's growing up and the boyfriend's not, so I guess I'll give him zero out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for saying good job after my kid defended herself from a bully by punching him? My kid, a 13-year- kid defended herself from a bully by punching him? My kid, a 13 year old girl, has a bully.

He's one of those kids who's related to someone in the school district. We've had multiple issues with this kid harassing mine, but my kid is bullied a lot, sadly. We're switching her into a new school because the public schools have done nothing and this past semester it got physical. The bully pushed her and she stumbled back. Fortunately, only scratches. But I was livid. The bully got suspension, but he's been suspended before.

I tried talking to the parents, and they make excuses, the wildest of which is, they'll probably end up together someday because of how they argue. I told them under no uncertain terms that their son is not even to look at my daughter and his only words to her need to be an apology. I got the, well, he's suspended so what else do you want? Argument. This summer, my daughter was in STEM camp. She begged to be signed up.

But so was the bully. And this time, during their outdoor break, the teacher was physically on his phone when the bully, in full view of multiple students, pushed my daughter and she turned and punched him in the stomach. The bully is now up for possible suspension from the camp, not the district. But I lodged another formal complaint, this time threatening a lawsuit. I asked my daughter if she defended herself, and she said that she was afraid he was going to hurt her because he threatened to knock her out. I said, okay, good job defending herself, I'm glad you're okay.

Let's just catch a movie and decompress. I told my siblings on Father's Day and was immediately told by my eldest brother and his wife that I should never have encouraged her to fight anyone. I argued that I didn't. I was glad she defended herself when she was scared. And the person I trusted to care for her wasn't even paying attention. The other people argue that now she'll see punching people is okay the next time she gets her feelings hurt, and that I'm a bad parent for opening that door. Am I? I mean, if she's in trouble and in physical danger, I don't want her to ever think that she'll get in trouble for defending herself.

But now I'm just second guessing everything. She's seemingly okay now, and I took the week off so we can celebrate Juneteenth together and just decompress from it. But I wanted her to grow up and be safe. Am I the butthole for saying good job? OP, I wish more parents were like you. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. The bully and the bully's parents get 3 out of 5 buttholes.

Am I the butthole for telling my family that I kept the gift that I was going to give my sister since we're allowed to do that? My sister, who's 15, is the favorite. The golden child. The pampered princess. A title our parents gave her, and the light of our lives, another title from our parents. When we were younger, it wasn't so bad. She was easy to be around and we were close. I, a 17 year old guy, loved her and even when she annoyed me, it was more normal stuff and I could get over being annoyed quickly. But when she turned eight, it was like a different kid emerged. It all started with my parents helping her buy me a gift for Christmas and

then they let her keep and claim it instead. And I just got one less gift and she got one more gift for Christmas. She started doing that all the time and it wasn't just with me. There was a big fight at her old BFF's 10th birthday party because my sister regretted giving her friend the birthday gift that my parents helped her get. So she took it back. The birthday girl and her parents tried to stop her, but our parents told them that it was their money that bought the gift, and the birthday girl hadn't opened it yet, so they could decide to keep it.

That ended the friendship, and my sister was forever blacklisted from several kids' birthday parties and even their houses after that. Anytime she made a new friend, the same thing happened, and even at sleepover, she'd pull the same stunt of getting food for just her with the money her parents left for the two or three of them. I talked to her about that stuff a few times, but she ignored me. One time I told her, and she started crying, saying she didn't get why I hated her. I told her to stop being such a baby, and I got in big trouble. When I told our parents that they were

making her the worst to be around, they told me we'd both get treated equally, and any perceived favoritism was insecurity on my part and not actually favoritism. Our relationship got way worse, and then on my birthday last year, my sister told me she'd prove she'd still knew me, and that we could be close, and she chose the right gift for me. But she kept it for herself because she wanted it and then claimed like four gifts that I got at Christmas. And because of my attitude both times, my parents didn't give me gifts at all because

they said that I should be grateful for the thought. So I was like, F it this time. My sister's birthday wasn't too long ago, and I decided to just buy myself something, and I got it for me, even though I knew she would like it as well. But not just for that reason. Ever since I got a part-time job, my parents have insisted I buy gifts for them and my sister out of the money I earn.

And I was not doing that. So on her birthday, I told them I decided to keep the gift that I got for her since we're allowed to do that. My sister cried and asked me why, and basically whined that she really wanted to play the game that I got. And she didn't know why I was such a jerk. My parents got so mad, I thought they'd pass out.

They told me I was being such a bully, and for a boy to bully a girl is incomprehensible. But my victim— Victim. My victim being my own sister made it worse. I told them I was just doing what she's allowed to do. And I didn't see why it was bullying when I do it, but not when she does it. They told me I did it maliciously, but she just got excited for the gifts. They said that she's younger, so she's not expected to be on my level.

I was grounded for a while, but I was able to stop them from accessing the game, so it's still mine. And I hid my money so they couldn't take it and make the purchase on my behalf. My sister asked me if I hated her like midway through my punishment, and I told her that I didn't need to answer her and didn't want to speak to her. I told her she needed to leave me the F alone. This pissed my parents off more. They brought up the birthday

stuff and said that I'm punishing my sister for being young. OP, you said you got a part-time job. You better start squirreling that money away for when you turn 18, because I've seen these parents a million times before on these subreddits. They're gonna kick you out or start exploiting you the second you turn 18. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your toxic parents 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole because my girlfriend and I have never had intercourse and it's been almost 5 years? Yes, I mean never. I'm a 27 year old guy and my girlfriend is 26. We've been together for almost 5 years. When the relationship started, I assumed that she was being flirty and

building the temptation. We were having so much fun going on dates, and I was just excited for the time to come. And it still hasn't come. I've tried to talk to her. I've brought this up hundreds of times. Each time that I gently start the conversation, she starts crying and says she feels guilty, and she gets angry at me for always bringing it up. At the start, she starts crying and says she feels guilty and she gets angry at me for always bringing it up. At the start, she said that she has vaginismus. She's seen a specialist about this once because I asked her to. And she has the tools and exercises that they use to fix it.

They've been sitting in her bedside drawer ever since. I'm not blaming her for having vaginismus, and I'm sure that it's a horrible experience. But sitting here for 5 years waiting doesn't feel fair. The last time I brought it up, she said that she's just never had the drive to have intercourse, and it's not something she's ever wanted. But it's something that I want. I've asked her to go to the doctor to get her hormone levels checked, which she did. She went off her birth control about 3 months ago, and absolutely nothing has changed.

This makes it hard for me though, because it seems like she's starting to put in some kind of effort. She's beautiful and smart and she has a good job. We live together and her family loves me. We do everything together, and I miss her when she's not around. I don't know if I can live like this. I've already spent five years of my 20s in a sexless relationship. I've been hoping that she would just have some sort of awakening or

breakthrough and become a sexual person. She's recently been bringing up engagements, feeling annoyed that her friends who have been together for less time than us are getting engaged and I haven't asked her. I can't see myself proposing and trapping myself in a life where I never have intercourse again. Am I the butthole for building resentment towards her and expecting her to change after all this time? What do I do? This isn't really a butthole situation. This is just fundamental lack of compatibility in this relationship. It sounds like your girlfriend needs to be in an asexual relationship and you need to be in a sexual relationship. So just break up and move on.

Am I the butthole for selling her shoes since she sold my Magic collection? I'm a 23 year old guy and I had a collection of Magic the Gathering cards that I kept in my storage locker under my bed. My girlfriend, who's 22, recently took my storage locker to a local card shop and sold my whole collection. The shop owner was shady for agreeing to cut the lock off of my box. I got upset with my girlfriend and asked why she sold them. Her response was, you don't play anymore.

Between work, school, and her, I don't have the time for any of my hobbies. I told my girlfriend to get out of my apartment, and that her selling my stuff was a perfect reason to break up with her. She started crying and began saying hateful things, which I ignored. I had locked myself in the bathroom waiting for her to finally leave. When she did, I gathered all of her shoes. This probably makes me the butthole. And sold them. She found out and went off on me and punched me. I told her, well, you never wear them. I asked for the extra key to my apartment because I told her we needed to

end things, but she refuses to give it back. Am I the butthole? Also, how does one get a key back? Then OP posted an update. My mom showed up with donuts. We talked with the landlord and he had a good laugh. I didn't tell him everything. Just that I had a bad breakup and I trusted the wrong person. He told me it happens often. He also flirted with my mom. Good on her. Nearly 50 and still getting hit on. My ex is coming by to grab her belongings and I'm giving her the shoe money rounded up. She agreed to give me the money for my Magic cards. I hope this is the end of it. I really don't think I want to handle anything legally. I'll

miss my collection. Guess at the end of the day I'm too lazy to bother. OP, I'm guessing from the fact that you immediately went for revenge that you must be a black player. Oh, oh my god, hold on. Not black racially. Black as in there's five colors in Magic the Gathering and black likes revenge and hate and being mean. So, gosh. Look, it's a Magic the Gathering joke. I wasn't making a racial comment.

That was r slash Amai the Butthole. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.