rSlash - r/AITA Fiance DEMANDS I Pay Off Her $92,000 Debt

Episode Date: June 8, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:13 Fungal name 3:12 Prenup 8:44 Dog mom 10:39 Legos Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You hear that? Ugh, paid. And... done. That's the sound of bills being paid on time. But with the BMO Eclipse Rise Visa Card, paying your bills could sound like this. Yes! Earn rewards for paying your bill in full and on time each month.

Rise to rewards with the BMO Eclipse Rise Visa Card. Terms and conditions apply. What's better than a well-marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue? A well-marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue that was carefully selected by an Instacart shopper and delivered to your door. A well-marbled ribeye you ordered without even leaving the kiddie pool. Whatever groceries your summer calls for, Instacart has you covered. Download the Instacart app and enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders.

Service fees, exclusions, and terms apply. Instacart, groceries that over-deliver. Heads up, I had a minor audio issue that's affecting about seven videos, and this is one of them. Back to normal soon. Welcome to r slash am I the butthole, where OP's sister names her daughter after a fungal

infection. Am I the butthole for blowing up at my sister for naming her daughter after a fungal infection? So I'm a 20 year old guy and my sister is 27. She and her husband have been struggling a lot with baby names. She was determined to find the single perfect name. Even by the time of her baby shower, nearly five weeks before the due date, she didn't seem any closer to picking something out than she was at the start of her pregnancy. Anyway, I knew she was struggling, so in addition to the $900 wooden crib on her list that I

got for her, I gave her a list of, obviously joke, baby names. We have a really close relationship, and it was in line with both our senses of humor. She's a nurse and I'm a biology student, so all the names were medications, infections, unpleasant animals, etc. Which all sound like lovely girls' names out of context. Some of them were a little bit obscure, sure, but I included some obvious ones like Viagra and Hernia for good measure. Two weeks later, she told me she and her husband had finally settled on a name. Malassezia. The baby's name is Malassezia. One of the names on my joke list.

Outside of the immediate issues, it's nearly impossible to pronounce on the first try, the word ass smack dab in the middle of it, the first syllable being mal, literally meaning bad or evil, it's the name of a very common fungal infection. One that my sister and I are both genetically predisposed to. One that we've both had multiple times throughout our lives. Her daughter will almost certainly catch it at some time. I pointed it out to her and she said that yes, she knew what it meant. And she knew my list was intended to be a joke, but she just really liked the way that

it sounded. I don't think the husband knows what it means. I think he would reject it if he did. She says it's so obscure that no one will ever think about it twice. Except you know, when little baby Malassezia turns 14, finds a weird spot in her neck and goes to her phone to google what it is. I told her the name was completely unacceptable, and I was shocked that she chose it. I even suggested some similar names like Mallory, Azalea, or Anastasia, which would have been

more acceptable. But she wouldn't hear it. She said that since I'm not one of the parents, I have no business telling her what she can and cannot name her child, and that I'm stepping way out of line. I think it's pregnancy hormones, and she'll regret the decision very soon after her daughter is born. I think Malicezia sounds like either a made up D&D character or maybe a Disney villain? Perhaps the name of a fantasy land in a very cheap $2 book that you'd find at the airports.

I think you're justified in your anger, Hero P. What your sister's doing is just plain stupid. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your sister 1 out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for considering calling off my wedding because my fiance refuses to sign a prenup after I found out that she has massive credit card debt? I'm just a middle-aged man,

supposed to be getting married in a few months to my fiance. We've been together for three years, engaged for one, and for most of that time, I genuinely believed that we were on the same page about life values and most importantly, honesty. For background, I've worked hard to build a stable financial foundation. I'm not wealthy, but I own my home outright,

have no personal debt, and I've been saving and investing since my early 20s. It's been a priority for me, especially since my parents went through a nasty divorce that ruined both of them financially. About a month ago, while we were discussing wedding costs, I brought up a prenup. Not in a cold or controlling way, I just wanted to protect the life I've worked hard to build. I was upfront that I'd still be fair, and the agreement wouldn't leave her with nothing. I expected an adult conversation. Instead, she immediately got defensive. She said things like, so you're already planning for a divorce? I thought we trusted each other. I tried to explain that it wasn't about trust, it was about transparency and mutual protection.

But she shut it down completely. That's when the red flag started popping up. She became evasive every time money came up, and I started noticing weird credit card offers in the mail, a few missed payments on shared expenses that she said that she'd cover, and lots of, I'll handle it later, energy. So I asked directly if she had debt. She admitted it. $92,000 in credit card debt. Geez Louise. Not student loans, not a mortgage, credit cards.

She said that it accumulated over the years from unexpected expenses. What and a few dumb splurges. But she never told me about any of it until I forced the issue. I was stunned! We're about to merge lives! This woman was about to legally become my spouse and she didn't think I deserved to know that she was six figures in the red. I told her this made the prenup non-negotiable for me. I need to protect myself not just emotionally but financially. I told her I was willing to move forward, but not without something in writing that

protects my premarital assets. She lost it, called me selfish, said that I was turning love into a business deal, said that my house and money should be hers too if we're truly a team. Since then, she refused to talk about a prenup again and were barely speaking. Even her mother called me and accused me of humiliating her daughter and being materialistic. All I want is to not be liable for debt that I didn't create and to make sure the life I built before this relationship is protected. So now I'm seriously reconsidering the whole wedding. Not because she has debt, but because she hit it,

then refused to take responsibility, and now is treating me like the bad guy for trying to protect myself. I am almost certain that she could pay her debt since she's a part partner in her friend's business, but she refuses to. Am I the butt hole for thinking about walking away? Then OP posted an update. So I wasn't planning on posting again, but a lot of people messaged me, and honestly, it's been a hell of a few days. So yeah, the wedding is officially off. After I posted, I tried once more to talk to my fiance. Well, ex, now. I told her I wasn't trying to be cold or controlling, I just needed to protect myself. I also said that if the roles were reversed, I'd completely understand if she wanted to do the controlling. I just needed to protect myself. I also said that if the roles were reversed,

I'd completely understand if she wanted to do the same. I told her I could still move forward with the wedding if we signed a fair prenup. One that clearly said that her debt is hers and my home and savings are mine if things go bad. I also said I'd go to therapy or counseling with her if it felt like a deeper trust issue. She did not take it well.

She said the prenup was an insult and it's basically planning for divorce. Then she started crying and said that I was humiliating her and that I was destroying everything we'd built over money. But that's the thing, it's not just about money. It's about the fact that she kept a massive amount of debt hidden until she had no choice but to tell me. And even then, she only told me because I pushed for it. That's not a partnership, that's avoidance.

So I told her I couldn't go through with it. I called off the wedding. It sucked. It still sucks. We told the venue, canceled what we could, and let people know. Her family is furious. Mine's been supportive, but they're trying not to say, I told you so. I've lost a lot of money deposits. Some family was flying in from out of state, but honestly, that's nothing compared to what would have happened

if I had ignored my guts. She moved out two days ago. We've barely spoken. I keep second guessing myself even now. I didn't want this, but I also don't wanna wake up one day in financial ruin wondering why I ignored every red flag just to avoid hurting someone. I think the scariest thing about this isn't the debt or her hiding information or her clearly manipulating OP after the fact.

It's the fact that she considers $92,000, a few random problems that popped up, and a couple of splurges. What did she splurge on? A Tesla? OP, you get zero out of five buttholes. Your ex gets 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling my daughter-in-law that she's not a mother? I'm a 64 year old woman. I have three kids and they're all married. This post is about my son and his wife, Jenny. Jenny struggles with infertility and she has no children. My other son and my daughter recently had their own kids.

Everyone was busy for Mother's Day and they couldn't meet up with me for the holiday. That's fine. They're starting their own families. I thought that it would be nice to send my expecting daughter-in-law and son and my daughter a Mother's Day basket. So Jenny always made comments that her two dogs are the first grandkids. I always thought that it was a joke. She's big on being a dog mom.

My daughter posted a picture in the group chat of everything that she got for Mother's Day, which included the basket I sent her. My other daughter-in-law also thanked me for her basket in the chat. Jenny called me soon after and asked where her basket was. I was confused and asked what she meant. I thought she was pregnant and this was her way of telling me. She clarified since I have two grandkids by her already and she said her dog's names. I was even more confused at this and she clarified that she is her dog's names. I was even more confused at this, and she clarified that she is her dog's mother and should have gotten a basket.

I told her she's not a mother. Mother's Day is for women that raise human children, not pet owners. She got really upset and cursed me out for not getting her a basket and that she is a parent. My son is telling me to apologize and to send a Mother's day basket over. He's calling me a jerk for not sending her a basket and telling her she's a pet owner. So OP, you're technically correct here.

That woman is not a mother. She just has dogs. But is this really worth fighting over? I mean, this is obviously very important to her. She's feeling left out. Is this hill really worth dying on? I don't think it is. So I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes, but if I were in your shoes, I'd probably just send her a basket. Am I the butthole for not letting my mother-in-law come over after she destroyed my Millennium Falcon Lego sets? I'm a 38-year-old guy, and I live with my 37 year old wife and my 7 year old son.

I work as an engineer and my wife is a senior supervisor at a law firm. I've always loved LEGO since I was a kid. And sure, it's kind of childish but it makes me happy so I've kept it as a consistent hobby throughout my adult life. In 2024, I spent MONTHS building the Millennium Falcon with my son. It's me and my son's pride and joy, and I often show guests who come over. My wife doesn't really get the hype, but she doesn't mind either. In early March, my wife's parents came over for a week to spend time with us.

As I usually do with guests, I ask them if they would like to see my LEGO collection. They agreed, and I showed both her father and mother my Millennium Falcon. Her father was amazed at the time that it took to build my sizeable collection, but her mother said that it was a waste of time and that I should focus on being a real man and move up the corporate ladder. I laughed it off because she's pretty old and I figured she just held some very old fashioned beliefs. We left the room and nobody really mentioned it for a few hours.

But at dinner, her mother said out of nowhere that I should give up on all this Lego nonsense and be a real man. We ignored this and moved on, but you could see in her expression that she was not happy. Nobody said anything about it for the rest of their stay and all seemed well the morning they left. They left at 3am to catch a flight and we waved them off. I went back to bed, but the next morning awoke to find my Millennium Falcon smashed to pieces with a note from my wife's mother calmly saying that this was for my own good so that I can be a real man and focus on what matters. It turns out she had quietly destroyed it in the night and left in the morning.

Me and especially my son were very upset. I called her in the morning but she refused to apologize. I said that until she apologized, they would NOT be coming back again. My wife is not happy with my decision on this matter, and and honestly I'm starting to wonder if I overreacted. Did I go overboard or am I in the right? People in the comments are pointing out that this thing takes like a full day to build and it's crazy expensive like 800 bucks or something. Yeah just looked it up $850. But fundamentally, none of those details matter. What matters is that this is your property, this is something you care about, and she

just came in and destroyed it because she felt like it. So OP is completely justified in keeping her out of his home. The wife is also setting up some red flags because she's not backing up her husband or her own son. Then one day later, OP posted an update. I had a good long talk with my wife in an attempt to resolve the situation, and we've again called the mother-in-law, which I hoped would defuse the situation and bring things back down to earth.

Instead, tensions have seemed only to have escalated. Firstly, after lunch, my wife and I discussed the situation adult to adult. I expressed my feelings of her not being behind me in this. She admitted to having harbored feelings against my LEGO collection. She also admitted to secretly agreeing partially with her mother. She doesn't think that my mother-in-law should have gone as far as she did, but according to my wife, I need to move on. I feel hurt by this since it's been my lifelong hobby and being an engineer, I take great joy in building various creations with LEGOs. After that, my wife and I were

certainly not in agreement, but we were at least on the same page. We also both wanted to resolve things with my mother-in-law, and so that day we called her mother and things did not go well to say the least. I simply told her that I was sorry I had to not let her come back, and I hope things can be resolved quickly. Still feeling upset about the LEGO Millennium Falcon, I said that all I asked of her was an apology. She refused, saying that if she bends for me at all,

I would never get over my LEGO obsession. My wife is not happy with any of this, and frankly, the marriage is starting to show tensions, which worries me greatly. She seems to be more distant after all of this. My son has developed a strong disliking of the mother-in-law and I really can't blame him. She's been getting a little crazy and seems to only talk about Trump these days. Should we start considering a senior home for her? The mother-in-law is an annoyance. The real core problem here is the wife. OP's wife doesn't respect OP or her own son. I've said this many times on my channel. If you want to be in a long lasting relationship, the easiest thing you can do to make your partner happy is just let them enjoy their hobby. It takes literally

zero effort from you. All you have to do is nothing and it makes the other person happy. This sounds so dramatic. I hate to say that you should divorce your wife over Legos because that sounds ridiculous. But should you divorce your wife over her fundamentally not respecting you and not taking your side and not letting you enjoy your own interests and bonding with your son over shared interests? Yeah, you actually should consider it.

It is divorce territory here. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your wife and your mother-in-law, let's say, 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. That was r slash am I the butthole and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.