rSlash - r/AITA for Being Glad My Sister is Dead?

Episode Date: January 21, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:06 Dont care 3:03 Comment 3:25 Joke gifts 8:03 Comment 11:23 Eating 14:10 Comment Visit BetterHelp.com/RSLASH today to get 10% off your first month. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connexontario.ca. Welcome to r slash am I the butthole where OP is glad that her sister died. Am I the butthole for telling my dad that I don't care that a stepdaughter died? I'm a 28 year old man. My mother died not long after I was born. My dad married Tina when I was 7. She had a 7-year-old daughter, Diana, from her previous relationship. Me and Diana did not get along. Diana was spoiled, and now, looking back on it, it was obvious that she resented me for not being the only child anymore. She took her frustration out on me. She would break my toys and steal my stuff and lie to get me in trouble. I would complain to Dad and

Tina, but they told me to get over it. If I did the same thing that she did, I would get punished. It only got worse as we got older. I felt abandoned by my Dad. I often felt lonely in my house. So, I guess you guys can see who the golden child was. At 16, Diana spread a nasty rumor about me in school and I almost got expelled. Diana got caught lying and got suspended. Of course, Dad and Tina blamed me for this. This was the last straw for me. I rang my cousin, Shaila, from my mom's side of the family and told her what was happening. She came over to my house angry at Tina and Dad. She gave them a piece of her mind.

Dad said if it bothered her so much, then she was welcome to have me. It was a blow to my heart hearing my own dad say that to me. So me and Shaila went to pack my stuff. The door to Diana's room was open and she was sitting on her bed smirking at me. We got my stuff and left. I haven't looked back since. Over the years, Dad or even Diana tried to contact me, but I would block all attempts. Now, a week ago, Shila visited me. She told me that she had a message from Dad for me. I was surprised that she even mentioned Dad since she knew how I felt about him.

She told me that Diana was in a fatal accident and she didn't make it. She said that my dad wanted to talk to me. Shila handed me my dad's phone number and said that it was up to me. I did call him, but it was more out of curiosity than anything else. My dad didn't even recognize his own son's voice. When I told him it was me, he broke down crying, and most of the time, I couldn't even make sense of what he was saying. When he calmed down, he said that my sister died, and it's time to come back home and make things right with each other. I asked, what sister?

I don't have a sister! He started crying and saying, don't do this, she doesn't deserve this. This enraged me, and I just let out all my anger, hurt, and frustration that I had ever felt towards them, and I ended with, I don't care if she died. My girlfriend, who was beside me, took my phone off of me and ended the call for me. I'm glad she did before I said anything more. She later told me that I could have been more understanding. I have had time to think this over and wonder if she's right. Maybe I am the butthole.

Down in the comments, I'm going to read this post from String Random. Not the butthole. You've more or less moved on with your dad's rejection and you owe him nothing at this point. Could you have been more empathetic? Sure, but he threw away your love and empathy when you were 16. I agree. OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving Diana 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your dad and your stepmom 4.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for ruining Christmas and being upset that the only gifts I got from my family were joke gifts?

My family likes to play pranks with Christmas and birthday gifts. It's nothing new. I'm a 21-year-old female, and me and my five other siblings, ranging from 29 to 37 years old, have all been pranked on our birthdays and on Christmas. Usually, it's one or two gifts. This Christmas, though, I was the only person to get all joke gifts. For example, I unwrapped a MacBook from my brother, but when I opened it, it was just some chocolate. Which I don't eat, so I gave it away. And a real MacBook was actually given to my sister inside of a bag that she also wanted. Another gift was what I thought was a book that I put on my Christmas list, but was actually just

the book cover put on a dictionary. When I asked my mom about the book without the cover, she told me that she gave it to my sister-in-law. This went on with each present that my siblings or parents had given me. The AirPods gift was actually just a charger block. I got used gift cards that had a $0 balance. I got a card with monopoly money in it, and so on, totaling to about 12 joke gifts. I realized that I had gone out of my way to get everyone something they wanted. At this point, I was bummed, so I went to the living room to watch TV with my boyfriend.

At dinner, they were all talking about how much they loved their gifts, and when my dad asked why I hadn't said anything about mine, I said there wasn't much to say. Everyone but my boyfriend laughed, and my mom said that it was no big deal because everyone else also got some joke gifts. I told her every gift that I got was a joke gift, and that the ones that they got was also followed by a real one. My dad told me I needed to relax as I was making a big deal about it, and I'd have next Christmas to get the stuff on my list.

Not wanting to go back and forth, I told my boyfriend I wanted to leave, and we could spend the rest of Christmas break with his family then go home. My family got mad at me and told me to stay because it wasn't serious. I left and put my phone on Do Not Disturb during the drive, and by the time that we got to my boyfriend's parents' house, I had missed several calls and texts from them, calling me names like Ungrateful, Sensitive, and Childish. They said I ruined Christmas and made my parents upset because I left. The next day, I exchanged and opened gifts with my boyfriend and his family, and one

of the gifts I'd gotten was the book that I wanted. The book that my mom pretended to gift me. I posted it on my Instagram story, and not even zero minutes after posting it, my sister sent a screenshot of my story to the family group chat, and they basically got mad at me for leaving and telling me that I ruined Christmas over some presents. They told me that I owe everyone, especially my parents, an apology because my mom spent New Year's sad because of my actions.

Now, I just want an outside party to tell me if I'm the butthole here. Am I wrong for being upset about the gifts and for leaving? After reading their messages and sitting on this for a few days, I'm now feeling like maybe I was upset over nothing and I need to apologize to them. OP, you said you're- OP, you said maybe you're upset over nothing? Yeah, you are upset over nothing. Literally nothing because they gave you literally nothing for Christmas. You said, am I in the wrong for being upset about the gifts and for leaving?

What gifts? What, what gift did you receive? Monopoly money? A charger block? Unusable gift cards? A dictionary? OP, you literally did not receive a single thing for Christmas. You have a right to be upset.

And I don't want to make this too materialistic, but come on, if you come to a Christmas event and everyone else is getting presents that they want, especially the multi-thousand dollar gift of a MacBook plus an expensive bag that the sister wants and OP gets unusable gift cards, that is literally, it's like an insult. It's like a slap in the face. OP, your family sucks. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your family two out of five buttholes. It's just so weird to me. Why wouldn't the mom give her the dictionary with the book cover on it and then, ah, that's so funny.

It's a joke. Okay, sweetie, here's the real book. What? What? Isn't that the whole point of a joke gift? Is they think it's the gift and then, oh look, surprise, here's the real gift instead, but instead they just never did part two of the joke. They just did the mean part, but not the nice part afterwards.

I like this comment from Samarkand457, more succinctly, the biggest prank you played that night was fooling me into thinking I had a family that loved me beforehand. Am I the butthole for refusing to make my green bean casserole for a Christmas party? For almost 15 years now, my friends have had holiday parties where we each bring a dish. Mine has always been green bean casserole. It's nothing fancy, just a random recipe I found online. A few years ago, Amy joined our group. There have been zero issues with Amy until the party started.

Some people overhyped my casserole and after tasting it, Amy said that she could do better. I gladly passed on my casserole duty to her. However, Amy's casserole didn't hit the same way as mine and people gently suggested moving their responsibility back to me. Amy took this personally. For years, she texted me after parties about how offended she is that I keep making the dish just spite her and how bad it tastes. She even accidentally brought her own Green Bean Caster rolls several times. Alright, I'm laughing because the title was so stupid I was thinking to myself, what is this post?

Who cares about Green Bean Caster Roll, but already this is stupid and absurd and I'm here for it. This Thanksgiving, Amy snapped over someone complimenting my casserole. She screamed at everyone for pandering to me, how I'm out to get her, and for everyone hating her family since her recipe has been passed down for generations. Then she stormed out. We all talked about it afterwards and I explained that this harassment has been going on for years, even showing everyone her texts.

Everyone said that it was out of character for Amy and was wondering if something else was going on. As far as I'm aware, this is only happening with the casserole. We get along 100% otherwise. I took Amy, her husband, and my husband out for coffee to talk, and I was told that it was all a misunderstanding. Amy's been struggling with depression, so it was within her rights to act how she did. I asked how I could help, but Amy said that questions like those were

what her therapist warned her of me attempting to manipulate her. We agreed to end our talk there, since we were getting heated in public and we hadn't talked since. When the group chat began planning Christmas dishes, Amy went out of her way to say that I should make the casserole since I accused her of hating it, and she wouldn't want everyone to feel more uncomfortable. When I tried to speak up, everyone said that I shouldn't take things so seriously and to sympathize with Amy going through a rough patch. I had no plans to make the casserole, but now I don't even want to go to the Christmas party.

My husband thinks it's unfair for me to do that to everyone, and that I shouldn't exclude myself from a fun time. I told him there's no hard feelings of him going on his own, but he says that I'm missing the point. He says that such a minor thing shouldn't affect years of good memories with Amy and our friends. Am I the butthole? Alright OP, I don't know what's going on with Amy, she's delusional, okay, she's

depressed, but she's also delusional. And she also apparently has a terrible therapist. How is you saying, okay, well what can I do to help? Manipulation. What? La? OP, you are not the butthole. What did you do here?

You made green bean casserole, that's your crime, and you're a better cook than she is, apparently. You get 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving Amy 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. Also, her therapist is one of the worst therapists I've ever heard of. Am I the butthole for not letting my husband eat the food that I cooked? My husband has food insecurity and overeats when he's not hungry. This is out of his fear that it'll be eaten before he gets to taste it. Every single item of snacks or soda in the house that's bought is gone within a few days because he binges it until it's gone. And in the past, he's told our kids that they couldn't have more dinner because there

wasn't enough, just so he could eat it later. I was at work when that one happened. I did make him go to therapy, but it's not doing much good, because he doesn't apply himself at all. He thinks it's pointless and refuses to do the steps they provide. Today I bought stuff for lasagna, and I bought myself a big salad because I can't eat red sauce. Within an hour of being home, my husband was already in the fridge asking if he could have my salad because he was starving. I originally said no, but he kept prying and said, come on, please, I'll share it with you. I said, what the f ever, and walked off.

He left me three bites. I tossed the salad in the trash. This was not even 10 minutes before I started cooking. He said multiple times, I'm so full. Now my belly hurts, I ate too much, which is common for him. But I was still salty about it honestly. So I only made half a sheet pan of lasagna, which would only feed the kids. My husband said that he was so full anyways.

I gave the kids their food 20 minutes later. I tell them they can finish the pan off. Well, my husband comes out, sees the lasagna and says, ooh, that's what I'm talking about. I said, absolutely not. You just ate my dinner and you were full 30 minutes ago. This is the kid's food. I didn't say this in front of the kids. He says that I'm a royal B word

because he needs the lasagna and is going to send him backwards because now I'm withholding food from him. All right, before we're getting to the butthole score, I just gotta point out that something doesn't add up here. There's a lie or a misdirection or manipulation or something. Because, OP says the first sentence, my husband has food insecurity and overeats when he's not hungry, out of fear of it being eaten before he gets to taste it.

Okay, so if his fear is that he doesn't get to taste it, then why does he eat the entire thing? A taste is like, hey, let me try one of these Kansas sodas, or hey, let me try one or two of these chips. Not let me eat the entire bag of chips. This is kind of a minor distinction, but I feel obligated to point it out because I feel like there's just dishonesty here. Either the husband is lying to the wife about why he eats the food, or he's lying to himself

and there's a different reason why he eats all the food and he's using this as an excuse. Oh man, down in the comments, Turbulent Adagio points out something that I completely missed. I'm the only daughter in my large family and my dad and brothers would eat my food all the time and it's so upsetting for so many reasons. His behavior could give the kids food insecurity because daddy always takes their food. To be honest, if my romantic partner called me a B word, I'd lose it. I expect basic respect out of the relationship and to not be demeaned with sexist insults. Okay, yeah, so now we can move into the whole butthole thing. respect out of the relationship and to not be demeaned with sexist insults. Yeah, okay.

Yeah, so now we can move into the whole butthole thing. The way this guy is stealing food from his own children and then when he gets denied, he escalates into calling his wife a B word is, you know, that's super problematic. I'm trying to imagine how my wife would react if I ate our daughter's food, leaving her to go hungry, and then I called my wife a B word when she called me on it. I'd be sleeping in a motel, you guys. OP, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes.

I'm giving your husband anywhere between, gosh, two to four out of five buttholes because it's not clear how much of this is just him being a selfish jerk and how much of this is him being I don't know like medically Psychologically damaged somehow either way this guy needs therapy and or to be kicked out of the house That was our slash am I the butthole and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day