rSlash - r/AITA For Demanding My Siblings' Inheritance?

Episode Date: March 13, 2023

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on the same points vet app. The platform that gives you everything you need. You know what to do. Bet on it. Point Spets Sportsbook and Casino. Welcome to R-Slash. Am I the bad guy? Where OP tells her parents that she expects to inherit her brother's share of the inheritance.

Am I the bad guy for asking my parents for their entire estate if they want me to be my sister's guardian. I'm a 23 year old woman and I've been told my entire life that if anything happens to my parents, I will be my sister's guardian. My sister is 33 and she has some disabilities. She's currently living in a group home. The government pays for a good portion of the cost but not all of it. My parents have made sure that they've accessed every resource available for her to make sure that she has as good of a life as she can. We were all visiting her this last weekend when my parents brought it up again. They're both reasonably healthy, but they both had health scares in the last couple of years.

They once again said that I would have to be her guardian. I've been giving this a fair bit of thought. I have two older brothers, they're both married and established in their careers. They would be better choices than I am, I want to go see the world. I'm lucky enough that my job can be done from anywhere that I can access the internet. When we went to dinner, I brought up the topic and said that I had three ideas. One, they make all three of us her guardian so that we could split the responsibilities and duties. Two, they leave their entire estate to my sister in a trust that will oversee her care.

Three, they leave me their entire estate with the proviso that I become her sole guardian and take full responsibility. Mine is sentimental stuff they leave for the rest of my family, obviously. I thought that was fair, since it's not like they're rich, and their estate will mostly consist of their house and their insurance policies they took out when they realized the long-term cost and care for my sister. They said that I'm trying to shirk my responsibility to my sister, and that I'm greedy for trying to get everything. I had one last suggestion, and they really hated it.

I said that they were welcome to cut me completely out of their will, but that had to include guardianship of my sister as well. They could leave everything to her and my brothers, but that meant that I would be completely free of responsibility for her care. My dad got really angry and my mom was crying when I left. My brothers both called me to say that I was the bad guy for springing this on my parents, and that I was being greedy trying to keep them and their families from getting anything when our parents pass away.

I asked both of them if they wanted a 100% responsibility for our sister in return for the entire estate. I volunteered to sign away everything to them, but neither one took me up on the offer. Okay, so your brother's both 133% of the estate, but 0% of the responsibilities. And you're supposed to inherit 33% of the estate, but 100% of the responsibilities?

No, no, this is completely unfair. I'm 100% on your side OP. Honestly, I thought that your solutions were all pretty reasonable. Basically, all you're saying is that the degree of responsibility should match the estate. So if you get 100% of the responsibility, you should get 100% of the estate, or 33%, 33%, 0%, 0%, it totally makes sense OP.

I don't understand why your parents are so obsessed with you being the caregiver My guess this is just a guess But I've read a lot of posts and this tends to be the pattern is that your parents are sexist They think that because you're the woman it's your responsibility to be the caregiver because that's a woman's role in life to care for other people and make them happy. Oh man, your family's pretty toxic, Opie. I'm giving you zero out of five bad guys. I'm giving everyone else in your family except for your disabled sister three out of five

bad guys. I almost don't want to say this because it's a complete guess and I can't back it up, but I almost have to wonder if your parents continued to have kids after your sister for the sole reason of having another kid who can take on the responsibility after they died. Because, you know, they had a son, and they didn't stop having kids, then they had another son, and they didn't stop having kids, and then they had a daughter, and at that point, they stopped.

And it's just a little coincidental to me, if you know what I mean. Am I really going to accuse these parents of having three babies, expressly for the purpose of having a lifelong servant for their oldest daughter? I think I am. I think I am actually accusing them of that.

I can't back it up, I could be 100% wrong. But the situation is just a little too fishy for that to not be the case. If I'm right about that, then, geez, do I want to up it to like 4.5 out of 5 bad guys because that means they spawned labor, which is creepy. Am I the bad guy for making our 17 year old daughter clean our horse stalls against her will? We recently got two horses.

My younger daughter, who's 13, wanted them because she's learning to ride. My older daughter, who's 17, was against them. She's much more princessy and didn't want to deal with the mess and chores that come with horses. But we told her that it wouldn't be something that she would have to deal with and that her younger sister promised to take care of all of it. Well, recently, the older daughter has been disrespectful at home and staying out late and her grades have been slipping. We warned her to shape up. But last week, when we heard that she had been needlessly insulting to her younger sister while I was

out running errands, I told her that she'd be cleaning out the stable each day for the next week's punishment and that her sister would get a break. She got really upset and offended and said that we promised she would never have to go in there or have to scoop up horse poop. I said that I promised that wouldn't be one of your chores, of course, but obviously a punishment is supposed to be something outside of your normal chores and something you you won't like, and I thought that it was perfectly fair here. She's been doing it for three days now, but she seems very resentful of our broken promise. Acting very disgusted, and keeps begging to get out of the rest of it. But I said that I thought that it's a fair punishment and that she's overreacting.

Am I the bad guy? Are you a bad guy for making a promise to your daughter and then breaking it? Yes, yes, you are. You literally are a bad guy for breaking a promise to your daughter. Opie, okay. Your daughter does deserve to be punished, but there's appropriate punishments and there's inappropriate punishments, specifically violating the one promise that you made to your daughter to teach your lesson, it's not the right way to punish your daughter. Also, it's doubly wrong and doubly weird because not only are you violating your promise,

but you're also like, how do I say this? You're punishing your older daughter to the benefit of your younger daughter. It kind of gives like, what am I thinking of here. It kind of gives like, um, what am I thinking up here? It kind of gives Cinderella vibes. You know, Cinderella has to clean and cook and scoop up poop while the evil step-daughter don't have to do anything they just chill out and do nothing all day. It's just really unfair to give your younger daughter's chores to your older daughter. I don't like to speculate because I feel like I'm really unfair to the post

or I try to evaluate things based solely on the information I have, but I have to wonder if there's a lot more to this story than OP is letting on. Because horses are not cheap. OP got two horses for a 13 year old. Ah, okay, let's find out. Let's find out. How much is a horse? You can generally expect to pay anywhere between $1,500 to $60,000 or more to buy a horse. Okay, let's assume this isn't a super expensive race horse. So let's go with like probably $3,000 to $4,000 per horse I would guess, along with lots of gear and food that probably knocks it up to $5K per horse.

I'm just guessing here, probably 10K altogether to get these two horses like all outfitted for OP's barn, I guess, I don't know. I have to wonder, maybe OP spent 10K on the younger daughter, but not on the older daughter, so perhaps that's the source of the resentment and her acting out. I'm also kind of concerned by OP calling the daughter princessy, which sounds a little degrading, kind of a judgmental. So all this information together makes me wonder if OP just literally doesn't treat the

older daughter as well as they treat the younger daughter. I can't really back that up, but that's kind of where my brain is going here. It's also really, really weird to me that, how do you buy the younger daughter horses? You literally bought a child two horses and you call the other one the princess? You guys, something's fishy is going on here. I smell some bulls**t or perhaps some horse s**t in this case. So, Opie, I'm giving you, I don't know, two out of five bad guys, but I think your score is probably higher. I'm giving your daughter a cautious zero out of five bad guys, because she's been disrespectful but maybe she's just acting out because you're not being a super fair or reasonable parent.

Maybe you're treating your older daughter like a scapegoat, I don't really know because something's not adding up here. Am I the bad guy for dropping my daughter off at daycare early so that her teacher could do her hair? I'm a newly divorced dad of a three-year-old girl. I have her every other week. My daughter has very curly hair that my ex-wife used to take care of. Now that I'm alone with her half the time, I have to figure it out.

I try, but on my weeks, her hair was mostly a frizzy, tangled mess. A teacher at my daughter's daycare has very similar hair to my daughters, so I asked if she could help with my daughter's hair. She said that she could do my daughter's hair in the morning if I dropped her off earlier. She gave me a list of curly hair products to buy and what to bring to school. She also gave me some tips for washing and caring for it at home. I guess my daughter told my ex that her teacher does her hair, not me, and that she goes to daycare early now because my ex called me and asked if I really drop her off a half-hour

early every morning just so I could avoid doing her hair. She called me a bad parent for relying on a teacher to do my job and for messing up the morning routine so that we could get to school early enough on a teacher to do my job, and for messing up the morning routine so that we could get to school early enough for the teacher to do her hair. I thought that I was doing right by making sure that her hair is cared for on my weeks, but my ex feels very strongly about this, so I wanted to know if I'm the bad guy. Down in the comments people are saying OP is using weaponized incompetence, and I don't really think I disagree with

that. Dude, it's hair, it's not rocket science, just figure it out. Go to YouTube, there are millions and millions of videos about hair. Beauty is one of the single biggest niches on YouTube. I mean, I can understand how you're feeling a little overwhelmed, you don't know what to do, but come on, this is your daughter, not the teacher's daughter. You're basically just offloading your parental responsibilities to her. I mean, it's definitely nice of her to offer, but I have to wonder.

I have to wonder, is she getting paid for this? I'm on the wife side here, I'm on the ex-wife side. Stop being a lazy father, man up, and take care of your daughter's hair. YouTube, man up, and take care of your daughter's hair. YouTube, man! YouTube! Am I the bad guy for misleading my husband for years to make him pay for our daughter's education? I'm a 45-year-old woman, and I've been married to my husband, who's 56 since I was 18.

I have a son who's 27 and a daughter who's 22. We're not rich, but decently well off. We always planned for our son to study abroad in a western country for university since he was a child, and this is expensive due to the high international tuition fees. This one is planned for my son, however, ever since I got a laptop and phone with internet, I've used it to learn new things on my own, from sources like MIT courseware and YouTube, and I really wanted my daughter to be an educated woman. I also stopped believing in my religion while my husband is still devout.

I pretend to be religious and follow our customs for the sake of the marriage. I only have a high school level education. The plan for my daughter was to find a boy from a nice family for her to marry and to not go to university or to go to the local one if she wants to. I convinced my husband that these days, boys from good families want an educated woman for status reasons, even if she doesn't work, and that if our daughter had a western degree, she could marry into an elite family. It worked and my husband paid for her to attend a top university, which she got into, which is actually better than the one my son went to. After leaving, my daughter also confided to me that she doesn't

believe our religion anymore, and started living a different lifestyle, one that I can never have. She recently graduated, got a work visa, stayed in that western country, and has a good job there. My husband got really angry when he heard this, and is feeling really cheated and blames me because I persuaded him to pay for her education and let her go. He even found a picture of her online of a university competition she did where she won a prize and posed for a picture without a head covering. I am feeling a little guilty since it's his money that let her go to university and now we may not get to see her again.

Am I the bad guy? Come on OP, you're not a bad guy for being a good mom. And besides, I kept looking for the lie in this post but I never saw it. It is actually true that a lot of guys these days prefer a girl who's educated. And yeah, if your daughter got a prestigious degree from a Western University, it probably is more likely that she can marry into an elite family. So I don't even think you lied to your husband. I mean, yeah, you didn't tell him what you actually thought, but you did tell him things that

were technically true and that are good for your daughter So the only thing you're guilty of is convincing your husband to give your daughter a good life and is that bad? It's very very clear that OPs from an extremely conservative and traditional Culture, I don't know what culture that is because OPs said where did she say it? Hold on? I'm feeling a little guilty since it's his money that let her go to university. That's a very traditional and old fashioned way of looking at things. As an American reading this story, my thought is it's not his money. It's both of your money. It's half his, half yours because you're married. So I can kind of understand why you're feeling guilty, OP, but I don't think you should. I think you should release that guilt, let go of it, because what you gave your daughter is awesome.

I'm giving you zero out of five bad guys. Also, I really can't begrudge the father either. This guy paid for both of his kids to go live amazing lives and get prestigious college degrees. I mean, he seems like a hard working family man. Yeah, it sucks that he is getting upset at his daughter because she posed for a picture without the head covering. So can I really begrudge the guy for having a religion and adhering to the traditions that he was brought up in? No, not really.

So this to me feels like a no bad guy situation. All I see is a mom who's trying her best and a dad who's trying his best, but each in their own way. That was our Slash of My The A, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.