rSlash - r/AITA for Exposing a Cheater?

Episode Date: June 29, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:07 Apartment 3:42 Locked in 7:22 Recording 11:48 Hygiene 13:22 Sons money Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to r slash am I the butthole where OP doesn't realize that she's enduring a crazy amount of abuse. Am I the butthole for renting an apartment without telling my parents even though they depend on me emotionally? I'm a 24 year old woman and I recently rented an apartment six minutes from my parents house. I didn't tell them beforehand, just told them after everything was signed, and now they're saying I betrayed them. For context, I have a full-time job as a civil servant in IT, which isn't as chill as people assume. I'm graduating college this year, and I make enough to support myself comfortably.

I rented this place because I'm really sick, like medically sick. A few days ago, I got test results showing my stress system had collapsed from chronic stress. My doctor said that if I keep living like this, I'll start experiencing symptoms similar to menopause by 25. That scared me. Life at home is… intense. There are daily fights, no privacy, no space to study or relax. My dad sleeps on the floor because there aren't enough beds. I'm not allowed to play games, talk to friends on the phone, or even use my computer freely. Everything must be turned off by 9 to 10.

They watch my screen, monitor everything, and after a stalker situation and finding out that I had an American friend, they're doubling down on controlling me. My mom has a condition where she gets seizures at night when she's under stress. I'm the only one who stays calm enough to help, because my dad panics and rocks her. My sister just cries and hugs her. So yes, I know they depend on me emotionally, but the doctor said that it's a lifelong condition, not fatal. We've tried to keep the peace at home, but nothing really works. The stress is constant.

So I made a choice. I found a nice quiet place nearby. I thought that I was helping everyone because they wouldn't need to pay for my health costs anymore. My dad could take my bed, and my sister could use my room to study. I stayed close in case they needed me. But when I told them, they cried, yelled, said that I was a traitor, and ungrateful. That if I really cared, I would have asked their permission first. They said I need to break the lease, or they'll never speak to me again and will turn my whole extended family against me, including my elderly grandparents,

who don't have much time left. Now I'm second guessing everything. Was I wrong for acting fast and not involving them in the decision? Was it cruel to do it without asking, even though it's my life, my money, and my health at risk? Am I the butthole for renting an apartment without their input, even if it means finally being able to breathe? This post reminds me of the metaphor of a frog in a pot of water.

And if you slowly turn up the heat, the frog will boil itself because the frog doesn't realize the water is slowly getting hotter, which is not true by the way, if you guys are curious, that was that myth was busted, but still it's a useful metaphor here because OP is so immersed in the abuse and But still, it's a useful metaphor here because OP is so immersed in the abuse and the control that she's struggling to see just how bad her situation is. Parents having this much control over a 24-year-old is bonkers. I could kind of understand this level of control over like a 14-year-old, but yo, OP's a grown

adult with a job and an income. It's not even fair to say that they emotionally depend on you. They just like controlling you. OP, you've got to get out of that house. It sounds like they're actually literally physically killing you. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your incredibly toxic parents three out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for locking my sister's kid in the bathroom for an hour? I locked my for locking my sister's kid in the bathroom for an hour? I locked my 6 year old nephew in the bathroom for an hour, and my sister is furious and

says that I traumatized him. I'm a 28 year old man, and last weekend my 26 year old sister asked me to watch her son, Ryan, for a few hours while she ran some errands. I agreed, even though I'm not super comfortable around kids. But it was just a few hours, and I figured we'd survive. At first, everything was fine. We watched a movie, he had some juice, and I thought that we were in the clear. But after about 30 or 40 minutes, he started getting more and more wild, like full on chaos mode. He ran around my living room knocking things over, dumped a bowl of popcorn on the floor, and started throwing couch pillows.

I told him to stop, tried offering him different things to do, but he ignored me. He then snuck into my bedroom, went through the drawers, found a Sharpie, and started drawing on the walls. When I tried to take it away, he tried to kick me. I called my sister, but she didn't pick up. It escalated fast. take it away, he tried to kick me. I called my sister, but she didn't pick up. It escalated fast. He chased my old dog into a corner and yanked her tail. She snapped at him, not hard, but enough to scare him. He screamed like she mauled him, and then threw a mug at my dog. That was it for me. I couldn't handle it anymore, and I didn't

feel safe leaving him loose in the house So I put him in the bathroom I told him to sit in there and take a break until he could calm down Then I locked the door from the outside. I sat outside the door for a while talking to him every few minutes at first He screamed then started crying then got quiet After a while I went to go clean up the mess in my bedroom and check on the dog. I figured it'd be fine because my nephew wasn't in danger, just contained. I guess that's where I might be the butthole. I ended up leaving him in there for closer

to an hour. When my sister finally came to pick him up, he ran out crying and told her I locked him in the bathroom. She lost it, said that I was abusive, said that I traumatized him, and now she won't speak to me. She's telling everyone in the family that I locked up her child like I shoved him in a closet or something. A few relatives are on my side and others say that I went too far. I didn't scream at him, I didn't hit him, I didn't scare him, I just didn't know what else to do in that moment. And I wasn't about to let him break my stuff or hurt my dog. So am I the butthole?

As a dad of a similarly aged kid, my daughter's four, I would give everyone here a butthole score. The sister's a butthole because she clearly doesn't discipline her son and her son is wild and disobedient as a result. And I do think OP did the right thing by disciplining his nephew, but the discipline went too far. The general rule of thumb for those who don't know is one minute of timeout per year of age. So for a six-year-old, that's six minutes of timeout.

I don't think a full hour in the bathroom is traumatizing necessarily, but at that point it's not discipline, it's just punishment. It's just kind of being mean to be mean. I will add though that OP might deserve a significantly higher butthole score depending on how dangerous the bathroom is. If it was baby-proofed then it's fine, but if there's prescription medication and pills that look like candy and razor blades for shaving and dangerous chemicals under the sink then yeah OP deserves a pretty high butthole score for potentially endangering the kid. I think overall I'm giving everyone here 1.5 out of 5 buttholes unless the bathroom was

dangerous in which case OP goes up to like maybe 2 or 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for recording my friend's fiance at her bachelorette party and playing the recording for him? I was invited to the bachelorette party for my friend's fiance. It was over the long weekend at a vacation rental on the beach. There was booze, a hot tub, and great food. It was definitely a hit. At one point, I was on the deck looking at the ocean, and the bride was drunk in the

hot tub with two of her friends. She said she felt more relaxed than she had been in a while. I assumed that she was referring to wedding planning. One of her friends asked if she was having trouble with the little monster. She said no, he was manageable for now. At this point, I realized they were talking about my friend's son. I took out my phone and started recording them. The bride's friend said horrible stuff about my friend's son. And the bride responded positively to everything, laughing and agreeing. Then she said that it was too bad he wasn't old enough to send him to military school.

I stopped recording when their topic changed. I don't think they ever realized I was close enough to hear them. When we got back, I asked to meet with my friend, and I played him the recording. He was quiet while he listened. After the recording was finished, he asked me to send it to him, which I did. Then he asked me to delete it, which I said that I would do, but I haven't yet. I feel like a butthole for interfering. I really do. However, I'm worried about my friend's son. Depending on what my friend does, I might need to send this recording to the poor boy's family.

I feel like I've overstepped, but what else can I do? Was I being a butthole? Look, respecting a kind of stranger's privacy is important, yeah, to a degree. But what's more important, respecting privacy or making sure that a kid is safe and loved and cared for for the next who knows, 10, 15, 18 years? Definitely the second one. This woman seems like she would have been the classic evil stepmother, kind and sweet and loving before the marriage, and then after the marriage she suddenly becomes awful. OP, I think you're being a good friend here. Sometimes doing a really good deed necessitates doing a slightly bad deed first.

You get 0 out of 5 buttholes. The hypocritical bride-to-be gets 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. Also, we have an update. Yesterday afternoon, I got a text from my friend, as in the groom in the wedding. He was asking me to block his fiance's number, as in the woman that I overheard speaking. I was a bit thrown off by this request, and asked if everything was okay. He said he couldn't talk right now, and asked me to please just block the number. So, I blocked the number. I had this weird glitch with my android where if a blocked number calls me, it still shows

up on my call log. I was driving later and I saw a ton of missed calls from the bride-to-be. There were so many, it exceeded what my car would show me. I kept the number blocked. Later, the guy who was supposed to be the best man in the wedding called me and asked me if I had heard from our friend. I said yeah and asked why. He sent me a screenshot from the fiance's Facebook talking about how people show their true colors and saying she's newly single. I tried to call my friend

but he didn't answer. Tonight, I finally heard back from him. The long and short of it is that he asked her about how she feels about his son. She said he's adorable and sweet. My friend played her the recording, and she asked where he got it. He refused to tell her, saying it shouldn't matter. She immediately guessed it was me. He refused to confirm that. She was angry that he wouldn't tell her I recorded her conversation, and said that she can't trust him anymore. So, SHE called off the wedding, not him? She did? What? She called off the wedding.

Not a great update, but since so many of you were invested, I thought you'd want to know. Yeah, the trash-talking of the Sun was already enough of a red flag to cancel the wedding, but then the behavior afterward is just more red flags on top of that. In a lot of Reddit posts, people like to use the phrase, you dodged a bullet, but OP didn't dodge the bullet, so it was more of a get down Mr. President type of scenario where OP pushed her friend out of the way of a bullet. Good job, OP.

You probably saved him years of misery and a messy, expensive divorce. Am I the butthole for telling my husband that if he forces his daughter to go to school with poor hygiene as a punishment, I'll divorce him? I'm a 41-year-old woman, and I have a 10-year-old daughter from a previous relationship, and my husband, who's 35, has a 13-year-old daughter from a previous relationship as well. My stepdaughter has been the near-perfect child for a long time. She hasn't even needed to be punished since I've been with her father, until recently. She had a problem with another girl at school.

The other girl made fun of my stepdaughter's lesbian mom, and my stepdaughter made fun of the other girl's poor mom. The parents of the other girl grounded her for three weeks. My husband wanted his daughter's punishment to match the crime. Since his daughter made fun of the other girl's financial situation, my husband wants his daughter to feel like how it is to be extremely poor. The other family isn't extremely poor by the way. His plan for his daughter is to go to school with poor hygiene for three days. No shower, no deodorant, no brushing of teeth, and reused clothes. I told him if I go through with this plan, I'll divorce him.

Am I the butthole? Then OP posted an update to say, my stepdaughter is safe, my daughter is safe, I'm safe, and I'll divorce my husband. Huh? Where's the connection between being poor and not having hygiene? Poor people can brush their teeth and use deodorants and shower. OP, I think it's good that you're sticking up for your stepdaughter, because this is a completely inappropriate punishment. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole because my future ex-fiance is angry because I don't want to share my

son's money? I'm a 35 year old woman and I met my fiance two years ago. My son, who's four, gets on well with him and my ex-husband also likes him. For clarity, my ex-husband is not my son's father. So three years ago, I won a large sum of money in the lottery. Not millions, but enough for a nice life if I work normally and a good start for my son later. 75% of the winnings went into a savings account that my son will have access to when he's 21. My fiance always thought that he had plenty of money and never let me correct him. I insisted on a prenup and for that our finances

were disclosed. Turns out the money in my son's savings account is five times more than anything my fiance has. Completely enraged, my fiance left the lawyer's office and ignored all calls for two days. For me, this was the end of the relationship and I wrote to him saying that he could have the ring back. A week later he was at the door. He said he loved me, but he was in shock and he wanted details about where the money had come from. He also told me that he had a five-year-old daughter from a previous relationship and that it would only be fair to split the money so that his daughter could also benefit from it. He sees it as justified as I got the money through luck and not through performance.

I gave him back the engagement ring and kicked him out of my apartment. Since then, I've been getting messages from various social media profiles and cell phone numbers that I would be the butthole who's ruining his daughter's future. I only found out about his daughter that day. I never saw any photos or anything like that in the past years. Okay, so either he lied and made up the daughter entirely to scam money out of OP, or he just completely abandoned the daughter and doesn't care about her or talk about her or spend time with her and is using his daughter to scam money out of OP. Either way, he's clearly just trying to get OP's cash, man.

OP, this is a pretty easy 0 out of 5 buttholes for you. I'm giving him 3 out of 5 buttholes. That was r slash am I the butthole, and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.