rSlash - r/AITA for Getting My Boyfriend's Family Arrested?

Episode Date: May 31, 2023

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For daily door crashing deals, visit your local travel agent or... Welcome to R-Slash. Am I the bad guy where OP gets her boyfriend's family arrested? Am I the bad guy for calling the cops on my boyfriend's family? Last year, I moved in with my boyfriend and his dad. My boyfriend and I were in a long distance relationship for a few years, and I moved across the country to be with him after I finished graduate school. Since it was such a large distance away, I opted to sell my car and buy a new one after moving.

When I did this, my boyfriend helped me out by loaning me some money to help pay the down payment, but I've since paid him back. Last week, my boyfriend's older sister, who lives in another state, came to visit and stayed in the house with us. This is my first time meeting her, and I thought that she was very nice, but I didn't get to know her well. Two days ago, my boyfriend and I were out running errands together, and his sister called him to ask when he would be back so she could borrow his car to go hang out with her friends

in a town about an hour away. He told her it would be a while, and she then asked if it was okay to borrow my car. My boyfriend asked me, and I told him that I wasn't comfortable with that and had to tell her no. My boyfriend did tell her no. I heard the entire conversation.

Well, a few hours later, my boyfriend and I got home and my car was gone. I was shocked and my car was gone. I was shocked and my boyfriend was confused. When we went inside, his dad told us that he gave my boyfriend's sister the spare key to my car because she said she needed to go somewhere. My boyfriend told his dad that she had asked to drive my car but we had told her no so he didn't understand why she was allowed to take it. And his dad said that since my boyfriend helped pay for the car, that it was therefore partly his, which meant that his sister had the right to drive it as well.

I was absolutely livid, and I couldn't believe that anyone would do something like this. My name is the only one on the title, insurance, etc. I'm the sole owner of that car. My boyfriend told his dad to call her and tell her to bring back my car immediately, and she said she would be home soon. Well, after two hours, I called the cops and reported the car stolen, because I was worried that if it got damaged or something, then I would be forced to pay the repairs even though it wasn't my fault. My boyfriend's dad and sister were pissed about this, and they accused me of trying to get them arrested. They're now demanding that I apologize to them and tell the cops that it was all a misunderstanding.

But I really don't want to because I feel like they tried to take advantage of me. My boyfriend agrees with me, but he said that he thinks calling the cops to report the car stolen may have been too far. Well, then maybe they shouldn't have stolen your car. Right? Crazy idea. I know it's bonkers to think about. But if you steal someone's car, when you expressly do not have permission to do so, and they call the cops to report the car stolen, that seems like kind of the logical outcome, doesn't it?

OP, you get zero out of five bad guys. Your response was kind of extreme, but in this case warranted, as in, arrest warranted. I'm also giving your boyfriend zero out of five bad guys. I'm relieved that he has your back. I'm giving your boyfriend's sister and your boyfriend's dad, 2.5 out of five bad guys. Your boyfriend's sister could have just ordered an Uber.

Am I the bad guy for calling my girlfriend's selfish for being upset that I wasn't at the birth of our kid because I was also in the hospital? I'm a 26 year old woman and my girlfriend is also a 26 year old woman. We have a son who's just over a year old and there was some major drama during the birth. For context, I have chronic heart problems and I've been struggling with it since birth. I had surgery when I was an infant, another surgery at the age of 7, and another at 15. I haven't needed one since then, and I've been doing well all around. When my girlfriend was 6 months pregnant, I got really, really ill, and it took a massive

toll on my lungs and heart. I pulled through but spent about a month in the hospital. I felt so awful that I couldn't be with my girlfriend, Jane, but she was super great with it. Then, two days before the due date, I was rushed to the hospital due to a build up of fluid around my heart. I had to get the fluid removed ASAP. When the fluid was all out, my brother-in-law came to visit me and told me that Jane had given birth. I was both ecstatic and devastated.

I had to spend the night in the hospital under supervision, but as soon as I was allowed to leave, I went to the maternity wing to see my girlfriend and baby. At the time, all negative emotions were smothered by our new bundle of joy. But over the months, Jane has been showing more and more signs of resentment towards me. It came to a head last night during our date night. I had the whole day planned. The baby had gone to grandmas. I got her favorite takeout. Got all of her favorite movies ready to play. A spot evening planned, etc. But she wasn't feeling any of it. I asked

her what was wrong, and she said that she was angry at me for missing the birth. I'll admit, I didn't handle it the best. We argued for a bit, and I ended up calling her selfish for saying that. I asked her if she understood the severity of the situation and that I was very ill. She got up and said that she wasn't going to let me patronize her and that she's never been disrespected like that before and that she's going to bid. Am I the bad guy? I've heard a lot of excuses over the years of doing this channel of why people couldn't do something or why they had to do something or blah blah blah. Saying I couldn't be somewhere because my heart was exploding and I was

literally going to die if I didn't have emergency surgery ranks as a pretty high excuse. So OP didn't go into detail about how extensive this surgery was, or if it even was surgery and instead just like, you know, putting some valve into your veins or a syringe or something. But still, what were you supposed to do? Just not go and die instead? I'm here for you, sweetie. Our baby is so cute. But I'm dead. Like, what?

And even then, even if you did, when I walked to your death and had that perfect moment and then die immediately afterwards, no one told you! Literally, no one told you. You said it was two days before the due date, so she wasn't even supposed to have the baby yet. Look, I'll admit that having a baby is very stressful, and a lot of mothers have postpartum depression afterwards. But still, what your girlfriend is doing to you is not fair. Honestly, you have just as much of a position to be upset at her as she does it you because you were literally gonna die. Logically, that almost takes precedence over the baby,

so maybe you should be angry at her? I don't know, your girlfriend's being super unreasonable. Hopefully, it's just postpartum depression which should wear off eventually, but still, I'm giving your girlfriend a butthole score of two out of five buttholes. O.P., you get zero out of five buttholes. Okay, Max, we have a new spot for Sunwing vacations.

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Point Spets Sportsbook and Casino. Am I the bad guy for telling my husband the nannies in charge? I went a preface this by saying that I'm aware this is a very privileged issue, but I'm trying to get some perspective on my opinion. My husband and I have three kids, aged 10 months old, 3 years old, and 6 years old. My husband has a high profile job and it means that he's gone often. I work a regular 9-5 job. We originally used daycare for our

oldest, but my middle was born right when the pandemic began, so we hired a nanny. Originally, she worked as a nanny when I was working my job. But by the time the baby came around, I was very overwhelmed doing bath and bedtime on my own, on top of developing postpartum depression. After a breakdown, we spoke with the nanny, and she agreed to adjust her hours so she's helping me with dinner, bath, and bed. She and I have gotten close over the past six months doing this. In many ways, she's become like a third parent to the kids. She's so good with them. We've created a routine that works well. I tend to the baby during bath and bid, and she handles the other two.

It's a nice rhythm, and my mental health has gotten so much better. My husband isn't traveling all the time, but most nights, he isn't even home for dinner and bid. He'll help me on weekends when he's home, but because he's gone so often, he's reluctant to be firm with the kids. There are times when he's come home when Arnani is there. He tries to help her with bath and bedtime, but he allows the boys to rough house. He lets them break the routine, and it seriously throws them off in delays bedtime.

My nanny shared with me that she feels awkward. Obviously, she doesn't want to undermine her employer, but it just makes her job harder. But my husband also doesn't want her to go home when he arrives because he says that he can't handle them alone. I told him that if that's the case, then he needs to defer to the nanny and follow her lead. She knows her boys best, and she has to deal with the aftermath when they won't listen and give her a hard time. My husband feels that she's just an employee and he's the dead, and his salary does pay for her. However, I don't feel this is fair to her.

I told him that he either follows her lead for bid and bath or he doesn't help at all. He told me that I'm allowing the nanny to take over and replace him. Am I the bad guy? Opie, okay. If your husband wants to actually be a parent, then he has to actually be a parent. He can't just show up for like one or two hours during the day and then spend that whole time breaking rules and rough housing

and letting the kids do whatever they want. It's clear that he's less interested in being a father and more interested in just being a fun uncle. Part of being a parent means enforcing the rules and making the hard choices. What he wants to do is just make a mess with the kids and then expect the nanny to clean up after him. Opie, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 bad guys. I'm giving your husband 2 out of 5 bad guys. I can't kind of sympathize with him because he misses the kids and he doesn't want to

spend the few hours he has with him enforcing rules and being stern, but tough, that's what he has to do. Am I the bad guy for using my friend's logic against her and making her cry? I'm a 36 year old woman and I went no contact with my narcissistic family last year as I was done being their scapegoat. My friend was encouraging me to call my mother and reconcile for mother's day. And I explained, again, the emotional and mental abuse that I went through, and my mother's refusal to take accountability or seek therapy.

My friend then lectured me on how it's hard being a parent. She's a parent, and I'm not. That as the oldest, you should have helped your mother around the house more with your siblings, and that you should let bygones be bygones and call your mother for mother's day. I told her, so you think that if I had done more chores and accepted more parentification as a kid, then I wouldn't have been abused. If it's too hard to be decent to your kids, then you shouldn't be a parent. Maybe you should have helped your abusive ex-husband

around the house more. Maybe you shouldn't have had dinner 10 minutes late because you know his job is stressful and it's hard being a provider and father. Next month is Father's Day. You should call and reconcile with him. How could I, as a child, stop the abusive behavior of an adult? When, as an

adult, you couldn't stop your husband from abusing you. She cried and walked off. Our mutual friends agree that she was wrong to pressure me to reconcile with my mother, but that she meant well and didn't understand, and that I took it too far. I said what I said to make the point that abuse isn't okay from anyone even your parents. Am I the bad guy? Nah OP, I'm on your side. Some people just can't seem to get it through their head that some parents are just bad parents. And if a kid doesn't want to talk to their parents then there's something wrong with the kid, which is just stupid. OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 bad guys. I'm giving your friend one out of five bad guys for being a hypocrite.

Am I the bad guy for telling my best friend that his girlfriend is disgusting? I'm a 22 year old woman, and I've been friends with Danny, who's 22 since high school, and he recently moved in with his current girlfriend, Lucy, who's 22. They had a housewarming party on Friday,

and Lucy spent most of the night dancing with her own friends who are very like her, excitable, extroverted, etc. She kept dragging Danny away from his conversations with us, his friends, to dance, even though he's more like us, introverted, and not party animals. Later, Danny was being quiet, so I asked if he was okay, and he said that he was just tired. But he kept watching Lucy dance and then said something in her ear and the next time she came over she just shook her head and laughed at him. After she went back to her friends I asked him if he was bothered with how she was behaving

and he asked me to explain. I mentioned her attention seeking dancing and the fact that she was wearing something really revealing even though other guys were at the party. Danny said that it didn't bother him, then he sat there with a moody face. At the end of the night, Lucy sat down with us and started chatting non-stop about how amazing the party had been. I jokingly pointed out that Danny obviously wasn't enjoying himself since he looked miserable. Then Danny told her that I was worried he was jealous because of her outfits.

Luce, oh man. Okay, alright OP, I've had a suspicion what was going on here, but this line just confirms it. Lucey ruffled his hair, which he hates, and said that he was quiet because he loved her outfits so much that he couldn't wait for us all to leave so he could drag her to bed. I thought that was completely inappropriate and I said to Danny, in that case, I'll just leave if she's going to be disgusting and Lucy just laughed at me so I did leave. Today, Danny messaged me saying that Lucy once in apology before I'm allowed back in their home. But when I asked if Lucy would apologize for making me uncomfortable, he said no, she

has nothing to be sorry about. I was genuinely only worried about my friend, but I admit I could have just left without calling her disgusting. So am I the bad guy? Opie, it is super, super clear to me that you have a crush on Danny. Like what exactly did Lucy do that was bad here? She wore a nice outfit to a party and she danced and she thinks that her boyfriend wants to have passion and hugging with her, which is reasonable because that's kind of what

boyfriends and girlfriends do, man. I kind of thought it was going that way, but then you said, Lucy ruffled his hair, which he hates. Oh my gosh, O hates. Oh my gosh, OP. Oh my gosh. OP, this is his relationship, not yours. So just because he doesn't like you to ruffle his hair doesn't mean that he doesn't like his girlfriend to ruffle his hair.

In fact, there should be things that he's okay with his girlfriend doing that he's not okay with you doing. That's kind of what it means to be a boyfriend and girlfriend. Kind of hate to say this, OP, but I'm kind of getting pick me girl vibes from you. In any event, crush or no crush, all you did here OP was stir up drama and an otherwise drama free party. Stop sticking your nose in your friend's relationship. I'm giving you 1.5 out of 5 bad guys.

I'm giving everyone else 0 out of 5 bad guys. I'm giving everyone else 0 out of 5 bad guys. That was our Slash of MyDA, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.