rSlash - r/AITA for Getting My Mother-in-Law Arrested?

Episode Date: March 29, 2023

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both in their mid 30s, just welcomed their first child a year and a half ago after years of trying. After many failed attempts, my sister-in-law was told that she wouldn't be able to conceive due to a medical condition she has, but they finally got pregnant. Since having my niece, the babies been the center of attention at every family event that we've had since she was born. Birthdays, weddings, family get-togethers, you name it. Now don't get me wrong, I love my niece, but it can get to be a little too much when my sister-in-law goes on and on about how long they tried to conceive, complications they've had, miscarriages, etc. Like a little too much info.

Many family members have commented on how it's a little bit excessive, but no one has said anything because they don't want to sound like a douchebag. Anyways, I'm getting married in the spring, and my brother and sister-in-law approached me last weekend about having my niece be the flower girl. Well, my fiance, who's 35, has two kids, a 10-year-old boy and a six-year-old girl from her previous marriage. His son is one of his groomsmen, and his daughter asked to be our flower girl when we told them the news that we were getting married a year ago, as it's something she's always wanted to do, so of course we'd said yes.

So, I explained this to my sister-in-law when she asked about my niece. She asked if my stepdaughter can just carry my niece with her. I said, I don't think she'd be comfortable with that considering she's six. She then asked me why I can't give that role to my niece and allow herself to carry my niece down as the flower girl. I said no because I already promised it to my stepdaughter. She then started going off about how my lack of effort to incorporate my niece is disgusting to her, that I should honor her in some way since I know how long and how hard they tried for my niece. Now I may sound like a bad guy for this, but I kind of got fed up and snapped and said,

incorporate your niece how! By the time the wedding comes around, she'll be too! The entire family knows your story about how long and hard you guys tried for her. What more can you expect me to do to honor her? She started crying and said that clearly I don't love my one and only niece and I'm letting her down. I said of course I love my niece and obviously she's going to be involved in pictures and stuff, but I'm not going to let my stepdaughter down by giving my niece a role that she's too young to remember anyways. Well, now my sister-in-law and my brother are pissed off with me for not letting my niece be the flower girl, and they're running around telling the rest of the family that I don't love

my niece. My mom had been trying to say neutral, but she thinks my stepdaughter would understand if I explained to her that I need to give the role to my niece. I'm firm in my decision, though, and my fiance is thankful that I didn't let his daughter down. Am I the bad guy for not allowing my niece to be the flower girl? Man, Opie, you are not the bad guy here on so many different levels. One, you're wedding, you're rules. That's super easy. Two, it's your own stepdaughter being the flower girl. If you're wedding, you're rules. That's super easy. Two, it's your own stepdaughter being the flower girl. If you're in the wedding, your husband's in the wedding and your stepson is in the wedding,

but your stepdaughter is left out, that will definitely cause some hurt feelings. How could it not? Third, how does she get off saying that you don't love your niece for not including her in the wedding? When, wouldn't that also mean that she doesn't love your stepdaughter

for not letting her be in the wedding? Like, uh, thank you, your brain lady, use logic. She's just obviously super biased towards her own kid, which, you know, I understand all parents are biased towards their own kids, but come on, man, that's sister-in-law is being super unfair, super hypocritical. Also, I gotta add, real quick, as the father of a two-year-old, I'd, I don't know how much I would trust a two-year-old to be a flower girl. I don't know a lot about wedding culture

and how confident they need to be, but two-year-olds, they're not really the most reliable age group out there. Anyways, OP, I'm giving you zero out of five bad guys. I'm giving your sister-in-law and your brother, let's say 1. 0 out of 5 bad guys, I'm giving your sister-in-law and your brother, let's say 1.5 out of 5 bad guys and I'm giving your mom 0.5 out of 5 bad guys for not. Honestly, she shouldn't even be neutral, she should be taking your side on this. Am I the bad guy for refusing to help my mom now that her husband is sick and throwing

the past in her face when she pleaded with me? I'm a 25 year old woman, and my mom and I have a contentious relationship. We've been mostly estranged for the last seven years. I say mostly because she's made some effort to stay in touch while I faded away. My dad died when I was four. Mom and him weren't married, but they were still together. She leaned heavily on my dad's family for a couple of years. Then she moved us away so she could start a better life for us. After moving, she met John and married him.

I was told more than once by John and my mom that John was now my father and I was told to call him dad. Referred to him as dad with others, and to not correct anyone who used the term dad or father. They told me to correct anyone who called him my stepdad. I didn't want to do this, but I was punished, and John yelled at me multiple times for disrespecting his love. And I was berated and told that he was stepping up to take me on his daughter, and the least

that I could do is respect him as my father. When my mom gave John children, it became very clear that he never saw me as his. I was treated differently, I wasn't given the same anything. Yet the rules remained in place that I called John dad and I would get punished for any instance of not doing so. Mom always took his side, always backed him up, always agreed that he deserved some kind of respect for this stuff. I still have some bitterness over this.

I didn't want John to be my father, but at the very least, if I'm going to be forced to address him as such and to correct people who spoke the truth, I felt like I should have been treated better at least. But that didn't happen, and I moved out the day I turned 18 and stopped speaking to or seeing my mom and John. She would reach out, and sometimes I would read her messages or listen to her talk to me, but I felt good not having them around. Now John's been diagnosed with a neurological condition and my mom is caring for him.

She asked me to come and help her, to help out their kids. I refused. She told me she needed me, they needed me, and I'm their daughter. I told her I don't care, I would not help, and after everything they'd done, they deserved nothing from me. I told her she failed me as a mother, and as far as I was concerned, they were already dead and buried to me and there was nothing they could do to me. She said that I was being unfair holding on to the past

too much and lacking in compassion. She tried to tell me to think of the good times. I told her that she failed me. She forced me to say stuff that I didn't want to say as a kid in order to appease her husband who didn't treat me like his kid anyways. A family friend reached out after the disagreement and told me I should be ashamed and while they were imperfect back then, they're still my family and I piled on to a woman who's doing the hardest job imaginable which is caring for a sick loved one. Yeah, I don't see the issue here OP. Your stepdad made it perfectly clear that you are not his real daughter

So why should you treat him like your real father? Not the bad guy. I'm giving you zero out of five bad guys I'm giving your parents 3.5 out of five bad guys calling them in perfect is a joke more like abusive Craving a delicious and comforting holiday meal, but don't feel like cooking Swiss chalets got you covered with their iconic festive special. Enjoy their famous quarter chicken dinner! Now with cranberry sauce, stuffing, linda chocolates, plus a scratch and win card where everyone's a winner. Download the Swiss Shale app to place an order for delivery today.

Visit SwissShaleys.ca for contest details, while supplies last. Am I the bad guy for not punishing my seven-year-old daughter for her play relationships? My husband and I have a seven-year-old daughter together, Leila. A few months ago, Leila got a boyfriend, Lucas. They're both seven, so it's obviously not a real relationship. They just hold hands sometimes and they drew each other hearts for Valentine's Day. This week, Lala was apparently holding hands with another boy, who also sent Lala a Valentine's Day love letter. And Lucas took offense to it. We found out because Lucas' parents called to tell us that Lucas won't be coming over to us this Saturday like it was originally planned because he's mad at Leila.

My husband wants to punish Leila and wants me to have a talk with her about faithfulness. At first I thought he was joking, but no, he's serious. He says that Leila cheated on Lucas and I, as her mother, should do something about it. I told my husband that Layla is seven, not a cheater, and I won't treat her as such. He then accused me of raising a cheater and encouraged the bad behavior. Am I the bad guy for not wanting to punish Layla? I remember. When I was, let me see, seven or eight, I said that I was going to marry my teacher.

Does that make me a reverse P word? Okay, I'm sharing that story just to point out how stupid this is because she's seven! Man, it is, it's not a real relationship. It's just two seven-year-olds holding hands because they see other people holding hands so they think, okay, I'll hold hands too. Punishing your daughter for this is silly. I will say though that this is like a good teaching opportunity where you can say, hey, Leila,

so typically when people are in relationships, they have some sort of expectation of being faithful to one another. So when you held hands with another boy, that hurt Lucas's fault. Like how would you feel if you saw Lucas walking around, hugging and holding hands with another seven-year-old girl, would that make you feel good? Probably not.

So, teachable moment, yes. Punishable moment, no. I'm giving everyone in the situation zero out of five bad guys. Yes, even the husband. He's misguided. He's definitely wrong here. But I don't know if that actually crosses the threshold into being bad guy behavior. He's just wrong and he needs to be corrected. Also, I've got to add, like the more I think about it, the weirder this is, because even if she was cheating, let's suppose that she was 16 and she had a 16 year old boyfriend and she cheated with another 16 year old. And that's like really actually cheating. Is it really appropriate for

parents to punish their kids for not having a romantic relationship the way they expect it to be? That's uh, I feel weird to me. I, yeah, I don't think I like that either. So I'm not sure if it's appropriate at any age for Laila to be punished for cheating on her boyfriend. I can understand parents being like disappointed, but to actually punish her, that feels weird. I don't know, this is a weird scenario that I've never considered before. If you're a parent, let me ask you guys. If you're a parent, and you've got like a 17 year old kid, and you're 17 year old kid, cheats, do you punish your 17 year old? Or do you just teach them about what's right and wrong? Do you ground them for cheating?

I don't think you do. Am I the bad guy for calling the cops on my soon-to-be-X mother-in-law? I'm a 27-year-old woman, and I split from my soon-to-be-X husband 27-3 months ago on the day that our son was born. This is because I'm ginger. My husband is blonde, but our baby came out with dark hair. He freaked out in the delivery room and his behavior got him kicked out of the hospital. I had to beg him to do a paternity test, and he finally agreed after a month, and it proved that I didn't cheat. We had been together since we were 13, so I was devastated, and all I wanted was to have him back. But I've come to

my senses and decided that someone who believes that school level Punit Squares are the end all be all of biological inheritance is not the type of person I want to be with. I was also treated like garbage by everyone except my older brother Alex while we were waiting for the results because they all thought that I cheated. It was a horrible experience and as a a result, I've lost many friends and family members. Since the results came back, my ex has been begging me to get back with him. I moved in with my brother Alex after we split up, and he comes almost every

day to beg me to come back with him. My in-laws have been harassing me too, especially my mother-in-law who has come over four times in the past week, asking me to forgive her son and to let God back into your heart. I used to be a Christian, and so are all of my in-laws and my family. But how I was treated when my baby was born made me lose that faith fast. The whole church community treated me like trash during this whole ordeal, and it made me want nothing to do with them anymore. And I don't want to raise my son in that kind of community.

Yesterday, my mother-in-law showed up at my brother's place when he wasn't there, and she had the pastor from the church that I used to attend with them. They practically forced their way in, and I was being berated like a child for not forgiving my ex's laps in judgment. The pastor basically sat there and said that I would be going to hell if I didn't take my ex back. I excuse myself to the bathroom and call the cops. The pastor and my mother-in-law were escorted out.

Now I'm being harassed on social media and being called and texted by literally everyone that knows both me and my ex and his family. They're calling me the bad guy for going nuclear and calling the cops on two people who weren't being threatening and they're demanding that I apologize immediately. I'm starting to feel bad now because I know they care in their own twisted way and I shouldn't have gone nuclear on them. Am I the bad guy? Hmm, what do you think the odds are that the mother-in-law and the pastor sat down and berated your ex-husband for your laps and judgment when everyone thought that you cheated?

You think they did that? I have a sneaking suspicion. They didn't. OP, you get 0 out of 5 bad guys. Go live your life, girl. Everyone else in this story gets 2.5 out of 5 bad guys. Am I the bad guy for refusing to help my daughter with her car payment because she's a stripper? I'm a 47-year-old man and I have a 22-year-old daughter. She's in college and lives on campus. I agreed to help her make car payments and she was in school. I was recently informed by a young man I work with that my daughter strips at a club about 40 minutes away. I confronted her about

this and she said that she didn't plan to do it after she graduated and she just needed some money. I told her to work at McDonald's then, not use her body, we got into an argument and I asked her to quit stripping and get a decent job. She refused and said that stripping was easy money, so basically I said there was no need for me to pay for her car payment anymore since she was making money so easily. She got upset and said that wasn't fair and that she doesn't make enough money for that. I told her to figure it out. She told my wife about what happened and my wife is upset about her job of choice but

says that it's unfair for me to stop supporting her so suddenly over an argument. I think it's perfectly fair, it's my money and my decision when to cut it off. First off, gotta read this reply from Danny Dragon Queen. What kind of douchebag tells a woman's parents that they saw her daughter stripping as if that's any of his business to get into? Your gross coworker who goes to strip clubs to ogle women but then tattletails on them is the biggest butthole in this story. Then another reply, probably tried to hit on her and was told to f off. OP, um, how do I say this?

If you think that strippers make the same money as McDonald's workers, you are grossly misinformed about how the world works. I'm giving you a bad guy score for not being a man of your word and for breaking your promise to your daughter. Also, just think about it, O.P. use your brain. If she has a job where she makes easy money and then you cut off more money to her, is she gonna then quit that easy money job and get a lower paying job at McDonald's

or is she gonna double down on stripping? Obviously, she's gonna double down on stripping. So if the goal is to make her stop stripping, you're just doing the opposite. I'm giving your coworker 3.5 out of 5 bad guys. I'm giving you 2.5 out of 5 bad guys and I'm giving your daughter 0 out of 5 bad guys. Even if you don't agree with her profession, at the end of the day it's her body and she gets to decide what she does with it.

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