rSlash - r/AITA for Giving ALL of My Husband's Money to a Stranger?

Episode Date: October 15, 2023

0:00 Intro 0:07 Inheritance 4:03 It's very hydrating 6:18 Top comment 8:08 Cancelled Christmas 11:22 The baby 13:35 Meeting the parents Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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And with the business platinum card from American Express, you can earn $820 in new value and more, which includes a $200 travel credit toward your flight. Now, according to Business Class, American Express, don't do business without it. Terms and conditions apply as at mx.ca slash business platinum. Welcome to our slash, Am I the Butthole, where OP gives away her kids inheritance to a stranger? Am I the Butthole, where OP gives away her kids' inheritance to a stranger?

Am I the Butthole for giving my late husband to stay to a stranger instead of to our kids? I'm a 55 year old woman, and I had been married to my husband, who's 60, for 20 years before he died. It was cancer. He had two kids from a past marriage who were in their early teens when he married me. I had a seven-year-old from an earlier relationship as well. We didn't have any kids together. I tried to treat my stepchildren as my own, but they never accepted me. They were very rude and insulted me whenever they could.

Since I didn't work, they called me a gold digger who married their dad only for his money. But the truth is, my grandparents were quite wealthy, and they left me a lot of money when they died. I lived well below my means, and I chose to stay home and raise my daughter since I could afford that. I didn't need my husband's money at all, but I also didn't bother sharing this information with his kids, and I told him not to tell them either. I didn't want them to like me just because they might inherit money from me.

My husband, on the other hand, hated how they behaved with me. Their blatant disrespect made him not pay their college tuition. Their mom couldn't pay for it, and they had to take loans for it. They wouldn't even talk to him. Even when he got cancer, they refused to come see him. For three years we struggled with the treatment. My daughter came to visit him from time to time whenever she could. During this time, the only person who really helped both of us was someone who we weren't related to at all. It was this girl in her

late 20s who wait for us at a cafe that we frequented. She was a single mom taking classes at community college at night, working during the day and raising her two kids. She took a liking to us, and when she learned that my husband was sick, she spent whatever time she could visiting him. She spent night staying with him at the hospital whenever I needed a break and was basically the daughter that we wished for. When he died, she helped me arrange the funeral. His kids showed up the day of the funeral and all they wanted to know about was their inheritance. I felt sick. When I learned my husband left his estate to me, which was around $25,000, I decided to

give it to the girl who helped both of us so much. She tried to refuse, but I insisted she take it. She needed it, and in my opinion deserved it more than my husband's ungrateful children. My daughter understands why I didn't give it to his children, but she's upset that I didn't give anything to her either. I told her that she already had money and a job. Not to mention she'll get my inheritance. This 25k was in no way her money.

Now my husband's ex-wife and kids are causing havoc over this and they're really upset with me. They're calling me a butthole for giving away money that they deserve. Am I the butthole? Okay, matters of inheritance are always super, super simple. If the will says the money goes to person ex, then that's the person who gets the money, super, super simple. If the will says the money goes to person X, then that's the person who gets the money. Super super simple. Then once person X gets the money, they can do whatever they want to with it because it's their money. So legally, and also in my opinion ethically, you're totally in the clear here OP. I'm giving you zero out of five buttolls. Also, I'm kind of surprised they called you a gold digger because, uh do I say this for that being mean. When you call someone a gold digger, there is sort of an assumption that there's gold

to be dug up. And I'm not trying to imply that 25k isn't a significant amount of money, but I mean if that's all he had left to give, then OP is definitely not a gold digger because they're just not that much gold. So that further backs up OPs claim that she's right and the kids were just being rude jerks. I'm giving the husband's kids two out of five buttolls, but I'm gonna give OPs daughter zero out of five buttolls because I think her being upset is kind of reasonable. After all, she did visit her stepfather and she did have a good relationship

with both of her parents. Am I the butthole for it's very hydrating? This has been bugging me for a few days. I went to dinner with my wife recently to a relatively nice place. I'm talking 30 to 45 dollars per dish. Quick side note, we're both in our 30s and we both work in hospitality and we work in kitchens for years, so we're generally on our best behavior at restaurants. Anyways, we sit down and we're greeted by a young woman in her early 20s who drops in menus and asks if we want to start with still or sparkling water. I looked at the drink

menu and saw that still water was $9 and sparkling water was $12. Neither of us care that much about fancy water, so I said the tap water is fine. She gave a sort of grimace and made a small noise. I asked, is there something wrong with the tap water? And she replied, it's very hydrating, followed by an awkward silence. This was very strange to me, so I essentially repeated the question with slightly different verbiage and once again got it's very hydrating. I looked at her with an expression of, please explain. More silence. Eventually I asked, what does that mean? And she said, with no emotion, it will hydrate you.

Now I'm feeling weird about the whole situation, so I flat out asked, with no expression or connotation, what's wrong with the tap water. You guessed it, it's very hydrating. I stood up and told my wife that we're going. Before my wife even realized what was going on, the waitress said, have a blessed day and had the smuggest smile I've ever seen. Am I in Lala land here? The triplicated response seems really dumb for someone who's a professional at hospitality.

My why things that I took it too far by leaving, but in my opinion, I didn't take it far enough and I should have spoken to a manager, but life is short and I didn't. Am I the butthole? Also, OP clarifies that this took place in America. Okay, alright, OP, this is bizarre. I don't know what's going on. I actually had to stop the recording and step away for a few minutes

just to think about this because I was really struggling to understand what happened here. It's so surreal. It feels like some kind of alternate reality conversation. This top comment is, I think the waitress was a spy. You accidentally spoke the code phrase. Is there something wrong with the tap water? And she gave you the confirmation code. It's very hydrating. You were supposed

to give her the microchip and that's why she kept giving you the confirmation code. OP, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes because I'm with you. It was weird. I probably wouldn't want to eat there either because it would have made me uncomfortable and it feels a little demeaning like, ah, am I being insulted? This feels the same way it feels when you think that two people are talking about you in another language because you can't understand them and then they look at you and they're kind of smirking. That's what this feels like. So as for the waitresses' butthole score, I thought about this and I've come up with four plausible solutions all with varying butthole scores. Option one, she's snooty and full of herself and she was judging you for being cheap, in which

case she gets one out of five buttholes. Option 2. She was upset because expensive water means a bigger tip for her and she just won and more money, in which case she gets 0.5 out of five buttholes. Option 3 is management once to sell as much $12 water as possible, so they force their wait staff to follow a strict script about tap water, in which case she gets 0 out of 5 buttles. The fourth option is she's just a bad waitress and she decided to mess with you just

because she's a bad waitress, in which case she gets 1 out of 5 buttles. If anyone can shed some light on this, please let me know down in the comments, because I'm feeling a little lost here. My guess personally is the management thing where the management wants to sell money and they tell her to respond this way. That's why she did it emotionless because she doesn't like having to say it because it's dumb. And then when OP left, she felt smug because she felt justified and correct.

Like of course this is going to scare off customers because it's a stupid policy. Maybe? Or you know, maybe she's a super spy, and she wanted the microchip, that's also possible. Will I be the butthole for canceling Christmas? I'm a 31 year old woman, and I'm tired of planning vacations for my ungrateful husband, who's 33, and his twin.

My husband and I have been together for seven years, married for three months. We both work high-stressed jobs, with high incomes and no kids. We're frugal and spend our money on savings and trips. In our relationship, I plan our retirement, keep track of finances, host friends and family, arrange gifts, make appointments, and plan our vacations. We travel a lot. For his part, he does laundry, cooks, and does the dishes more than me. He gets along well with everyone and is the more easy going one.

During our trips, I've asked my husband to help me with tasks ranging from helping me plan beforehand to finding an Uber. Usually, he ignores me until it's too late and I have to make the decision, or he makes mistakes like getting an Uber to the wrong place, or forgetting beach towels that I asked him to bring. Mistakes aren't a big deal, but he places the blame for them on me. This issue is not new to us. For our wedding, I did 99% of the planning, and he promised in return that he would plan the honeymoon. Right before the wedding, he looked up a Costco

package that was almost twice as expensive as what we'd agreed to spend and that didn't have guaranteed spots. What I really wanted him to do was find something tailored to us, not some bulk package all inclusive, unaffordable trip. My husband also has a twin brother who often comes along with us. Like my husband, his twin doesn't help planned and he's never thanked me for planning trips for us. He behaves like coming on the trips is a gift to me. Outside of this, I've tried to be his friend, but I feel no reciprocity.

I get him gifts for his birthday and holidays, text him and call him and include him. Right now, we're all on a flight back from Hawaii where I research hotels and flights, put together a schedule, booked hikes and dinners, rented a car, etc. When I brought up the fact that they complained a lot and that they never said thank you, my brother-in-law said that he told me the sunset was nice, and that's the same as a thank you. When I told this to my husband and explained how upset I am with both of them for not helping me, he told me to go F myself.

To be clear, I had been talking to him in a calm, not yelling way. My husband also said that if I cancel future trips, I'm no longer invited to my in-laws' Thanksgiving, the one that his mom plans. I've already planned and booked an elaborate three-week Christmas trip to Italy for the three of us. But I just feel exhausted. At this point, I'm considering canceling it entirely, canceling my own portion, or canceling one of both of their portions and going solo. Would I be the butthole if I took one of those paths? Oh, G's OP. You said you got married three months ago, I think you wrote this Reddit post three months too late. Obviously, this

has been going on for a while, and your husband is taking you for granted. And where does he get off insulting you like that when you had very legitimate complaints? Opie, you get zero out of five buttholes. You should cancel the vacations and also consider canceling the marriage. I'm giving your husband's brother two out of five buttholes and your husband two point five out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling my friend that her baby is the reason no one once or around? So one of my friends, Anna, who's 24, had a baby about six months back. Our friend group is otherwise childless.

All of us used to hang out a lot before the baby was born. The baby changed the dynamic because Anna wants to bring the baby everywhere. We tried to plan things around the baby to include Anna, but it always ends up going badly. We can't drink because Anna can't drink. We can't be loud because the baby needs to sleep.

The icing on the cake is that her baby is extremely fussy and cries all the time. It was just a downer for the rest of us. So we started hanging out without Anna and her baby. Last weekend, all of us went on a staycation. We had a great time and posted photos and videos on Instagram. Anna saw these photos and called me to ask why we didn't ask her to come with. I tried telling her that it was a last minute plan and we could only find a child-free resort so as to not hurt her feelings. She called my bluff, sending me pictures from some random family who had stated that resort

with kids. She kept asking me, so I told her that we just didn't want to hang out with her baby. She asked me how I could say that about her baby. I asked her to leave it at that, but she wouldn't. I finally told her that it's a baby and we're all so young. We don't want to live our life around a baby that she chose to have, that we all want to do adult stuff and party the way that we want to. Her baby is the reason she wasn't invited.

I said that if she left her baby at home, then she could come too. She got really pissed off and called me a butthole. She also sent a text in the group chat saying that she's disappointed in all of us for excluding her just because she's a mom. Half of our friend group thinks that I shouldn't have told her the real reason and they're mad at me. The other half thinks that she's unreasonable. Am I the butthole for telling her the truth? I'm on your side OP. What she's doing isn't really good for your friend group or the baby. Maybe the reason why the baby is fussy is because the baby is trying to sleep while a bunch of young adults are trying to party.

So OP, I think you gave your friends some bitter medicine, but nonetheless needed medicine. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes and I'm giving Anna 1 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for laughing when my son came home from meeting his girlfriend's parents because he chose to behave like he does at home? My son burps a lot while eating. I've tried telling him multiple times that it's rude. I've told him to slow down so he doesn't swallow air with his food. I've told him that it's disgusting. My wife will instantly jump in to defend him. She'll say that's just

the way he is and that it's not his fault. The thing is he can control himself when I remind him. He just chooses not to. He just went on a date with his girlfriend last night and she tore him a new butthole. It was his first time meeting her parents since they live in another city. They went out to a fancy restaurant and he burped all the way through supper. He came home almost in tears from her chewing him out for behaving like a jackass in front of her family. I heard him telling my wife about it and I laughed. She asked what was so funny and I reminded them both

that I tried dozens if not hundreds of times to teach him table manners and he rejected them and she protected him. I said that now he's a grown man and he has to learn the hard way. They both think that his girlfriend overreacted and that I'm being a butthole for being him used by his experience. Down in the comments, people are asking how old OP's son is and OP clarifies that his

son is 22. When I read this post, I was genuinely imagining like a 15 year old or a 16 year old. But 22, come on dude, come on, that is definitely old enough to know better. Opie, you are not the butthole here, you are objectively right, he is being rude and he is being a jackass. I'm giving your son 1.5 out of 5 buttholes and I'm giving your wife also 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. That was our slash of my the butthole and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. holes. That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you like this content be sure to follow

my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.