rSlash - r/AITA for Giving My Mom $20,000 of Debt?

Episode Date: February 2, 2026

0:00 Intro 0:04 Ruined wedding 4:55 Spanking 9:21 Fitness 11:39 Debt 14:56 Living situation Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you're shopping for a car, you want clarity. You want straight answers, and you definitely don't want to feel like you're walking into a maze of fine print and fast talk. That's why I really like car gurus. Car gurus takes the guesswork out of car shopping by showing you real listings, real prices. And this part matters, whether a deal is actually good, fair, or something you should walk away from. No smoke, no mirrors, just information that lets you stay in control. And it's no wonder, Car Gurus is the number one rated car shopping app in Canada. on the Apple app and Google Play Store,

whether you're looking for something new, used, or certified pre-owned. Car gurus lets you compare deals from dealers near you. See price histories and avoid overpaying. It's transparency in a world that doesn't always offer much of it. Buy your next car gurus at car gurus.ca. Go to car gurus.coma. To make sure your big deal is the best deal. That's C-A-R-G-U-R-U-S dot CA.

Car gurus. The scorebed app here with trusted stats and real-time sports news. Yeah, hey, who should I take in the Boston game? Well, statistically speaking. Nah, no more statistically speaking. I want hot takes. I want knee-jerk reactions. That's not really what I do.

Is that because you don't have any knees? Or? The score bet. Trusted sports content, seamless sports betting. Download today. 19 plus, Ontario only. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or the gambling of someone close to you, please go to conicsontario.ca.

Welcome to R-slash, Am I the Butthole, where OP ruins a wedding. Am I the butthole for ruining a wedding? My wife and I own a catering company. Our oldest son is 15 and helps a lot with events. He's autistic, but he's very capable when he's accommodated. We were contracted to cater a rehearsal dinner and a wedding. The rehearsal dinner was obviously much smaller than the wedding. With me, my wife, and our oldest, we could pull the whole thing off without using any

employees and save a chunk of change. The wedding planner also hired a bartender to make drinks, as we don't offer that service. Our son was setting up the tables and chairs while my wife and I were unloading the food. The bartender asked my son to help him unload some boxes of wine, and my son said no. The bartender offered to tip him, and my son said that he can't touch alcohol. The bartender told him that he was being difficult, and my son started ignoring him, because that's how he responds distress. The bartender tried to talk to him, and when my son continued to ignore him, he grabbed my son by the shoulder and shook him. My son ran to me and told me what happened, so I called the police. The bartender started arguing with me. I kept telling him to wait for the police to arrive.

My son went to my wife. When the bartender found out that my son was 15, he got nervous and left before the police arrived. After the deputy showed up and while I was talking to him, the wedding planner showed up to ask what was going on. I asked her to wait while I finished talking to the deputy. My wife and son had gone back to setting up after the bartender left. The wedding planner demanded I talked to her and tell her why the police were present. The deputy told her she had to wait. She stood by and listened to our conversation. I told the deputy what happened. He said since he didn't witness anything, he couldn't do anything, but to call him if the bartender returned. When the deputy left, the wedding planner called the bartender to ask him to come back. He said he wouldn't

come back because he was worried I'd call the cops again. Ultimately, the rehearsal dinner had great food, but no alcohol. The wedding planner asked us to serve at least the wine and beer the bartender had brought, but we refused because, A, we don't offer that service. B, we aren't licensed to do that. And C, that stuff didn't belong to us. After the dinner, the wedding planner went off on us. She said we ruined the event and that we were fired. I clarified with her that she didn't want us to show up to wedding venue and cater the wedding, which was the next day. She said she didn't, so I said okay, and we left. My son actually filmed our conversation, and I watched it when we got home. And she was very clear. At 4 a.m., the wedding planner called us to talk about the wedding. I reminded her that

she fired us. She said that we were already paid, so we had to show up anyway. I said she fired us. She said if we didn't show up, she would sue. I told her to sue. I also told her that I had her on video firing us. We did not cater the wedding. I heard from the DJ that they ended up ordering pizza. The bride apparently screamed at the wedding planner for half an hour about it. I actually feel a little bad because the bride didn't do anything. Maybe I was being petty and should have showed up anyways. We didn't return any money as per our contract and we ate or donated the food that had already been prepared. I know legally I did nothing wrong,

but I feel like a bit of a dick. Okay, so down in the comments, most people are saying O.P. is not the butthole, and actually the bartender and the wedding planner are buttholes, and I definitely agree that those two are problematic. The bartender shouldn't have put his hands on a 15-year-old, or anyone for that matter, and the wedding planner shouldn't have fired O.P.,

but bailing on the bride and the groom based on something the wedding planner did seems a little morally and legally iffy to me, especially if it was the bride and groom who signed the contract and not the wedding planner. Because in that case, the wedding planner has zero authority to fire anyone. But for O.P. To not even check with the bride and the groom who paid the bill and bought all the food and I don't know, it just feels kind of scummy to me. It's like you're punishing them for something that the wedding planner did wrong. And yeah, they did hire the wedding planner, but it just kind of

feels like you're punishing the wrong person. And I think you could be sued by the bride and the groom if they were the ones who signed the contract. Oh, actually, down in the comments, there's a post from a lawyer who says exactly what I said. If the wedding planner hired you, then you're in the clear. If the bride and groom signed, you're in a world of legal hurt. You needed to be terminated by them, not the planner. By not showing, you breached the contract. If the bride and groom signed the contract, not only are you legally wrong, but then also you're the butthole. Yeah, I agree. O.P., I'm giving you, I think, honestly, I got to give you two out of five buttholes. But I'm also giving the wedding planner and the bartender two out of five buttholes as well.

Am I the butthole because my parents are livid that I'm not allowing them to see my daughter after they spanked her? I live abroad, and this is only the second time my family has met my daughter. My wife and I, were both 28, flew down for the holidays as well as an extended vacation. So my three-year-old daughter could see my home country, Brazil, and have a fun, different experience. We spent New Year's at my parents with my extended family. Everything seemed to be going well, until on the third, my wife and I left the house to run some errands, and left my daughter alone with my parents. My daughter is a very smart girl.

She loves talking, she's sweet, but opinionated, and we like to encourage that. We want her to know that her voice and thoughts matter, and we're there to listen. My parents, however, seemed to disagree. While we were out, my mom called me telling me that my daughter was being, being disrespectful. I asked what my daughter was doing, and she told me that she was arguing about the cartoon they'd picked for her to watch and wanted to watch something else that they didn't know about. And I understand we don't always have to give kids what they want, but I don't see the harm in that, especially because I don't exactly trust whatever they chose for her due to

certain ideological differences we have. So I sent her a link to a YouTube series she likes to watch and asked her to put that on instead and tell her that dad and mom would be back soon to talk to her. Next, my mom told me that she had already taken care of it. I was confused as to what that meant, and she followed to say that she had spanked her to teach her not to argue. Needless to say, I was furious. I hung up, told my wife, and we immediately dropped everything and drove back. We do not do spanking. We never have and never will.

As someone who was spanked a lot for the most unnecessary and stupid reasons, I understand it doesn't work and it only harms the child. And yes, I did mention it to my parents. We had a pretty ugly argument when we arrived, but I kept my position clear. They did not have the right to do that, and I wouldn't be taking it lightly. My parents are very strict in their ways, and they refuse to apologize or even acknowledge that what they did was wrong. If not for the spanking, then for doing it without my permission. Long story short, we packed the same day and left.

I called the hotel for the next city that we're visiting and booked a room. earlier. I made it very clear to my parents, and I don't want to hear any more excuses. I sent them some articles on parenting and child abuse and told them that I wouldn't be talking to them or allowing them to talk or see my daughter again until they've read those articles and contacted me to apologize and acknowledge that what they did was horrible and wrong. Fast forward to now. It's been over two weeks, and all I've heard from them are enraged complaints about how they know what they were doing, because they did it to me. and I turned out okay so it must work, about how I'm being ridiculous and unfair because they were only trying to help,

and they don't get to see my daughter often since I live abroad. I've received calls from my sister, who's a lot like them, defending them, from my sister's husband, from his father, from two of my uncles, even from some of my cousins. To put it simply, what everyone is saying is that I should forgive them and forget about it because they had good intentions and they don't get to see my daughter often, so I'm being unfair. We had plans to spend a few more days with my parents in early February before our flight home, but I canceled it. I still don't think I'm wrong, but I can partly see their reasoning behind the they don't get to see her often point, though I'm still very much not inclined to yield.

Am I the butthole? O Pete, it sounds like you're trying to give them lenience because they don't see the kid often. What I don't understand is if they've only seen this little girl twice over the past three years, How do they think it's a good idea to bond with the kid by spanking it during the, I don't know, one or two weeks that the kid's going to be there? Shouldn't it be two weeks of non-stop spoiling? You know, let's watch cartoons together. Let me give you sweets. Let's go on parks together.

You know, typical grandparent stuff. Instead, they jumped immediately to spanking at their earliest opportunity. But regardless of the whole spanking thing, you know, some people believe in spanking, some don't. I personally don't. What matters is that this is your kid, you set a boundary, and they cross. So unless they suck up, they can suck eggs. O.P., you get zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your parents two out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for saying that my girlfriend needs to get into shape two if she expects it from me? I'm 32. In university, I was a division one swimmer.

I almost made the Olympics. I'm not bragging. This is relevant. Obviously, at that level of competition, I was incredibly fit. I still swim for exercise, but it would be a lie to say. that I'm in top condition. I have a lot of other things going on. My girlfriend of three years is beautiful. She's a teacher and her hobbies are all pretty sedentary. She walks her dog twice a day and that's her physical activity. Lately, one of her friends started dating a personal trainer. This guy has a six-pack and looks like John Claude Van Dam. If I'm being honest, his physique is better than mine was. But I wasn't training for looks. I was training for speed. My girlfriend has been saying that I should get back in shape so that she can show me off. It was kind of annoying. I'm a professional. Once again, I'm not bragging,

I'm just stating facts. I have a career I enjoy that allows me to enjoy life at a pretty great level. Every year, I take two vacations to different countries on my bucket list. I'm debt-free. I don't have time to eat 10,000 calories a day and train five hours a day. I laughed it off to begin with, but I explained to her what I just explained to you. She seemed to understand, but then she started it again. So I told her that if she wanted me to get back in shape, then she had to as well, that she needed to get down to 20% body fat like runway models. I said that she was beautiful, but she had no stamina or strength. She's now saying that I'm a butthole for only considering her looks. I think that's pretty effing ironic. I'm in great shape for my age and still enjoy

stuff like snowboarding and surfing. I will admit here that I'm not particularly good looking. I look kind of like Walter White's old business partner. I think that if she wants that for me, it's not too much to expect the same from her. I'm not sure which is worse, O.P., that she's objectifying you, that she's using you to compete with her friends, or the hypocrisy. I think personally it's the hypocrisy that's the worst, but overall I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your very hypocritical girlfriend, 1.5 out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for sticking my freshly single mom with $20,000 of debt. I'm a 19-year-old guy, and I've been paying off a car loan from my mom, who's 40 since I turned 16. She gifted me a new 2022 current year Nissan Centra for my birthday.

I foolishly never asked how much she signed for because I had assumed that her financially knowledgeable boyfriend at the time would know what he was doing at the dealership. He did not. The original MSRP for the car capped at around 20K. But out the door, they walked away with a $40,000 car loan. They put nothing down and had a 10% interest rate because my mom's credit was bad and she had no job. But even accounting that, the math never made sense to me. The payments every month were $510. I didn't care because the original deal was that me and my mom's boyfriend would split the monthly note.

That lasted for all of three months until I was stuck paying the entire thing and have been since that day. About a year ago, I went to the bank with my mom to try to transfer the loan from her name to mine, but since the interest would be recalculated and would add about $10,000 to the loan, we both agreed to not do it. I moved out at 18 and lived with a roommate, but bills have been tighter. My girlfriend's mom suggested that I look for a new car that's more in my budget and found a used 2025 Corolla with 10,000 miles for 18,000 bucks. It's a better car for cheaper than what I'd be paying off my current car.

I told my mom that I was planning to get a new car, and if she wanted to sell my current car, it would be her decision, and she lost her mind, saying how it's my responsibility and that it was a gift for me and how she saved me 10K by not transferring the loan. The biggest elephant in the room is that she's freshly divorced, and is looking for a job to support her two younger girls. I told her she can sell the car for about 14 to 15K, but she refuses,

and is demanding that I drain my savings to pay for a car that I never agreed to pay for, and ultimately was their terrible financial decision. On one hand, I don't feel like I owe her anything, and I never truly got along with my mom, so it is what it is. On the other hand, I feel guilty for kicking her while she's down. Opie, I can't believe I have to point this out to you. If your name is not on the loan or the title, then it's not your car. You're paying off someone else's debt for someone else's car,

which means at any point, including after you pay off the car entirely, your mom could just say, actually, I want my car back and you have to turn it over to her. I strongly agree with the top post from deleted. Go park the Centra in her driveway, hand her the keys, and walk away. You let her problems become your problems. This is your out. True. She gave you a gift, but it's more like a curse, so you can give her the gift back. O.P., you get zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your mom two out of five buttholes. I don't know, maybe lower. I'm not sure if she's really a

butthole so much as she is just really stupid. Am I the butthole for telling my wife that she doesn't live here? My wife and I have been struggling for months now. Her mom died and her dad needs full-time care that the family can't afford. They're trying to get him qualified for assistance, but in the meantime, she moved home to take care of her dad. I couldn't afford the rent on the apartment and full-time child care without both of our incomes. She also had to quit her job, so I moved in with my sister. My sister is single and has three dogs. Her house, well, it smells like a dog. Her house is a three-bid room, but she uses one of those rooms for storage, so my son and I share a room. She's a flexitarian, and she doesn't want certain foods in her house.

It's not an ideal living situation, but my son loves the dogs, and she helps me with child care in addition to giving me free lodging, so I'm not complaining. My wife's sister took a trip to their dads to watch him for a week, so my wife would come home and see us, which actually means coming to my sisters, because we don't have a home.

She's been here for three days, and has not stopped complaining about the smell of the dogs, or the fact that my sister won't clean out the storage room, for our son. Earlier this evening, she complained about not being able to buy beef, and I asked her to please stop. She asked if I was asking her to stop talking. I said no, but I was asking her to stop complaining. She said the conditions are unlivable. I said, but you don't live here, so why do you care? She's crying in the room while I'm stuck in the living room with our son. She said I accused her of abandoning the family, which isn't what I said. But that isn't even the point.

I understand she can't abandon her dad to waste away and die, but this situation is because of her family, and my family is helping, and I feel like she's so ungrateful. I know that's an uncharitable way to feel about one's wife, but she hasn't thanked my sister at all, and it's starting to piss me off. I do agree that what the wife did in this story is wrong, but based on the situation, it sounds like you guys are just kind of in a pressure cooker. I mean, your wife lost her job, and she's in the process of watching her dad die while caring for him. And she also lost her home, and she's not happy with her son or her husband's living conditions, and she's stressed out. So yeah, she's wrong, but I think anyone would be really just uptight and mean and snappy in that situation. I know I would. So technically, I have to give her one out of five buttholes because she is being disrespectful.

But, eh, I just don't want to pile on because her life kind of sucks right now. That was our slash am I the butthole. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.