rSlash - r/AITA for Ignoring a Child's Broken Arm?

Episode Date: January 6, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:05 Pretending 2:19 Family issues 4:31 Teenager picks vacations 10:13 Real dad 12:32 Comment story 13:10 Actions have consequences Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adch...oices

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Starting point is 00:00:22 Shop Peloton's New Year offers at 1peloton.ca slash deals. All access membership separate terms apply. Jacob's thing is mystery podcasts. He loves to good who done it. And when it comes to McDonald's, his thing is finding the exact right moment to steal a McNugget from his friend Sarah's tray when she's not looking. At McDonald's, our thing is called the ingredients.
Starting point is 00:00:44 Like 100% Canadian-raised seasoned chicken in every chicken picnic. Our thing and Jacob's thing together, it makes for a delicious mischievous game, even when he gets caught in the act by Sarah. Quality, it's a McDonald's thing. Welcome to R-Slash, Am I the Butthole where OP bullies the school bully?
Starting point is 00:01:06 Am I the butthole for pretending to not understand Japanese and making a kid cry? I'm a 20 year old woman who's an English teacher in Japan. I love my job and I absolutely love teaching kids. I'd never made a kid cry before until today. I have a student, Sam, who's 12. He's the class clown who absolutely loves attention and will do anything to get his classmates to notice him. Now I have experience with plenty of goofy kids and I adore them.
Starting point is 00:01:33 I let them joke around all the time, unless they disturb other students the way Sam does. Sam is super disruptive and makes other students uncomfortable to say the least. I try telling my boss and co-workers about this, but they basically told me that I'm on my own. They wouldn't even call his parents. Recently, I rearranged the seating so that Sam sat far away from the other boys because he doesn't act the same way around girls. This worked for a couple of weeks. He spent most of the class complaining in a mumbled voice, but he didn't touch anyone. But I guess he got bored of complaining, because today he's been most of the class hurling insults at me in Japanese.
Starting point is 00:02:11 The class is mostly Japanese kids learning English as a second language, and since I'm hired as a foreign teacher, I'm strictly forbidden from speaking to the kids in Japanese. Anyways, when Sam starts calling me disgusting and a stupid old lady, I admit that I got a little upset because I know for a fact that he wouldn't speak the same way to Japanese staff. And I knew that telling him to stop would only make him want to do it more because I've tried multiple times to do that in the past. So instead, an allowed voice I said, what did you call me? What does that mean? Cute? You think I'm cute? Thank you."
Starting point is 00:02:47 The other kids laughed a little and Sam got angry, but he kept trying to insult me throughout the class. I kept doing the same thing, pretending to think that his insults were compliments. In the end, he got so frustrated that he burst into tears. At the end of my class, my co-worker saw that he was crying and I explained what happened. I got chastised for making a student cry. Am I the butthole? Nah OP, you were just killing with kindness. I think you handled the situation pretty well.
Starting point is 00:03:14 I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving Sam 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for laughing at my mom and asking her what did she think was going to happen when she had my thief sister and her scumbag family over for Thanksgiving. I'm a 37 year old woman and my sister, who's 37, is a drug addict and a thief. She hasn't gone to jail because she mostly steals from family and friends. Her husband is also a dirtbag and their two kids are headed the same way. I will not allow them in my house.
Starting point is 00:03:46 I will only meet them in public. I always bring just enough cash to pay for my bill if we eat together and don't bring anything else. I don't know why my sister is the way that she is. Both me and my brother, who's 33, have turned out okay. We have a good education and careers. We have stable relationships. We're reasonably well-behaved adults and our kids are a pretty good bunch.
Starting point is 00:04:08 My sister just never grew up. She hates rules. She hated that my parents got her to watch me when I was young. She moved out when she was 18, took her education savings account, and spent it just traveling around. I was going to host Thanksgiving this year, but my mom mentioned that my sister and her family would be in town. They haven't visited for four years. She asked me to include them. Hard, no. I said that was not going to happen. So my mom said that
Starting point is 00:04:36 she wanted her whole family together, so her and my dad would host. Well, she just called me. A bunch of stuff is missing from her house. Jury, sports memorabilia, knickknacks, stuff that would be easy to sell on eBay, or pawn. I snorted, and asked her if she remembered why I don't allow my sister in my house. She said that when I allowed her to stay with me, she still cashed from me, and her kids stole my stepson's video game. I asked her why she thought they wouldn't steal from her. She said that I'm being cruel to rub it in when all she wanted was family time. Opie, I'm with you, man.
Starting point is 00:05:12 What did she expect? I invited a thief into my house and she stole from me. Oh no, how could I have not seen this coming? Opie, you can zero out of five buttles. I'm giving your mom one out of five buttles because she's well-intentioned, she's just dumb. I'll give your sister three out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for always letting my middle daughter choose her room first on vacations? My husband and I have four kids, Evan who's 20, Adriana who's 16, Elizabeth who's 15,
Starting point is 00:05:43 and Michael who's 15. We try to travel three to four times a year. Three years ago, the night before we were supposed to leave, my friend told us that we couldn't use her cabin anymore. We were all looking for new places, and Adryana sent a listing for this small town in the middle of nowhere. We ignored her the first few times she sent it, but she eventually talked us into looking at it, and it was perfect.
Starting point is 00:06:04 We paid a little over 200 bucks a night for a beautiful cabin on the lake with a game room and enough bid to allow everyone to get their own bid. The people were great, the drive wasn't bad, and there were actually a lot of things to do there. It became one of our favorite vacation spots. When Adriana was 14, we pretty much started letting her book our family vacations. She had to run everything by us first, but she was the one that chose where we went and where we stayed. Her only condition is that she gets first picked for rooms and vids. She even booked an international vacation for us, including flights and a rental car. We've given the other kids
Starting point is 00:06:40 opportunities to help with vacations. They all know that if they can find a place that we'd want to go to and stay within a budget, they'd get first dibs if we book it. The problems are that they have a hard time sticking to a budget or they're set on a specific place even if it's not suitable for everyone. They'll pick a hotel or a rental that's nearly the entire vacation budget or it's over the budget. Or it doesn't have enough rooms because it has this one specific feature. Because of this, we almost always go with Adriana's
Starting point is 00:07:10 choice. We recently spent three nights in a cabin with three bedrooms. Two rooms had a king-size bed and an ensuite. The third room had four twin beds. Adriana chose one of the rooms with the king-bids. There was a pull-out couch available, but none of them wanted it. After we left, the other kids were upset that Adriana got her own room and bathroom while the rest of them had to share. I told them they know the deal, and if they can find a place for everyone, stay within budget, and pick a place that we'd all want to go to, they can also choose the room and bid.
Starting point is 00:07:42 They say that they try, but we always pick Adriana's listings. I told them her listings are usually more practical. We paid a little under 600 bucks for the cabin that we stayed at after taxes and fees. It had so many free activities nearby that the entire three day vacation for six people came out to just under $1,000. The other kid just can't beat that
Starting point is 00:08:02 with an $1,800 listing with two bids in a single bathroom. They think that we're being unfair and should rotate who books the vacations and chooses the rooms, but I just don't have that kind of money to throw away, and I'm not going to deal with the fighting that will inevitably come when they pick a place that doesn't have enough bids or bathrooms. Alright OP, you are obviously the butthole here and I'll tell you why. It's because if you actually wanted to be fair about this, then you would help your other kids plan their vacations. Okay, so Adriana is fantastic at booking vacations.
Starting point is 00:08:35 Good for her, she's just naturally organized I guess. But if the other three kids are struggling, the solution isn't to just ignore them, the solution is to sit down and help them. But like, okay, you want to go to the beach? Well, you're over budget, but let me help you look for another place near the beach that would be within budget. That way, we can go to your vacation instead. You know, you're the parent.
Starting point is 00:08:56 Teach them how to budget. Teach them how to plan. Teach them how to be adults. I think one of two situations is likely here. The first situation is OP is just straight up lazy. She doesn't like to plan, she doesn't like to scan through the internet to find a deal, so OP just outsources all that work to Adriana. The second option, which I think is more likely, is that OP just personally prefers a type
Starting point is 00:09:18 of vacation that Adriana likes. Adriana keeps booking low budget vacations, which makes me think that Adriana must like, you know, outdoorsy, middle of the nowhere, cabinet, the woods types of vacation, which are very, very inexpensive. And my guess is that that's a type of vacation that OP also likes. So when Adriana plans yet another cabinet, the woods vacation, and the other kids plan a beach vacation or a city trip or Flying somewhere which will obviously be more expensive OP will of course pick the cabin in the woods vacation because Secretly that's what OP wants the really telling line here is OP says what does she say?
Starting point is 00:09:57 She says but I just don't have that kind of money to throw away and I'm not gonna deal with the fighting that will never It'll become blah blah blah. Yo, throwing the money away? This is going on a vacation with your family, that's not throwing the cash away, you're buying an experience. You're not throwing away the money going to the beach any more than you're throwing it away going to a cabin in the woods. But since OP wrote it that way since she said throwing away money on these other vacations,
Starting point is 00:10:22 I think that's secretly how she feels. When one of the other kids wants to visit New York or whatever, OP just doesn't want to do that so she sees it as throwing away the money. So OP, I'm giving you two out of five buttholes for being lazy, for showing favoritism, and for not helping your kids learn how to be an adult. You know, actually the more I think about it, OP says, we travel three to four times a year. So they actually do have the money to blow on this type of thing. Three to four vacations a year is a lot.
Starting point is 00:10:50 So yeah, okay, if the other kids plan more expensive vacations, what OP could do is pull the money and have one bigger vacation that would satisfy more of the kids at one of the more expensive destinations. Yeah, the more I think about this, the more I think I'm right. OP literally just doesn't want to go to the city, doesn't want to go to the beach. She just only wants to go to a cabin in the woods, and that's what Adriana wants as well,
Starting point is 00:11:12 so Adriana always wins. Am I the butthole for telling my step-dotters, biological dad, that this is why I'm her real dad? I'm a 39-year-old man, and I've known my wife for 10 years now, married for 7. When I met her, she had a 3 year old daughter who's now 13. I always made it a point to treat her as I would my own kid and we became close pretty quickly.
Starting point is 00:11:34 When she was around 4, she even started calling me daddy. Her biological dad comes in and out of my stepdaughter's life. She calls both of us her dad. I refer to this guy by his first name. Well, last night, my stepdaughter was visiting with her biological dad when I got a text from my stepdaughter wondering if I could pick her up. Well, I got there, and she was sitting outside with her biological dad holding her arm. She came over to my car and told me she was messing around with the skateboard and fell on her arm, and her arm was all bruised,
Starting point is 00:12:05 swollen, and it was hard for her to move. I asked her biological dad, why didn't he call my wife, and he said he didn't think it was that bad that she's just being dramatic. My stepdaughter just looked at me and said, Dad, can we just please go, I'm in a lot of pain. As she was getting in the car, I told her biological dad. See, this is why I'm her real dad, not you. I actually care for her and her well-being. Later that night, my wife got an angry text from my biological dad calling me a butthole, and my wife kind of agrees that I was being a butthole in that moment. My stepdaughter had actually broken her arm, but her biological dad wasn't going to do anything
Starting point is 00:12:45 about it. I am the one who was with her in the emergency room until 1 a.m. Alright, this is pretty clear what's happening here. The guy just didn't want to get stuck with a hospital bill. He would literally prefer that his daughter sits around with a broken bone than go pay money to get her help. The biological father in this story isn't a father. He's not even a man.
Starting point is 00:13:06 OP, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving the biological dad four out of five buttholes. Oh man, down in the comments, someone was asking how long her arm had been broken and OP said apparently two hours. She was just walking around in her dad's house for two hours until the pain became intolerable. And he accused her of being dramatic and overreacting. What a scumbag. Also, down in the comments, we had this story from quirky word. When I was young, I broke my arm rollerblading.
Starting point is 00:13:36 My dad wanted to wait it out, which is his personality, but I think we were kind of broke at the time too. The next morning, my arm was still really bad, so we went in and found out that it was broken. Because we waited, the doctor had to re-break my arm. Basically, my arm had been healing while in a bad position. They drugged me so I don't remember a thing.
Starting point is 00:13:58 But apparently, they had two nurses holding me down while the doctor yanked on my arm with all of his strength. My dad had to witness this and said that he nearly threw up. After that, all injuries were treated promptly. Am I the butthole for telling my sister that she's an idiot if she thought her actions at her wedding wouldn't have consequences? My biological dad died when I was young, and my mom remarried when my sister was eight and I was 10. Me and my sister are currently in our late 20s. Our stepdad focused a lot of his time on providing for us, so I never got close to him, but
Starting point is 00:14:32 I am grateful for him. I'm engaged and my sister is going to get married in about a month. My wedding will be in a year, both of us are close to our mom though. My sister, Noel, screwed up in my opinion. At first I was on her side, but now I just feel bad for my stepdad. Noel is not going to have our stepdad walker down the aisle and give her away. I understand that this is her decision, and when that came out I helped my mom and stepdad understand that it was her choice. The turning point happened last week when she told us that he will not be sitting at the
Starting point is 00:15:06 family table. When we asked her why, she made it clear that he was not family to her. Again, that's her right, but damn, he's the reason that we had such a good childhood and were debt free. He paid for our college and worked a ton. I knew that this would result in my mom and stepdad not going to the wedding, and they told that to my sister. She called me all upset and was ranting that it was her wedding. That she was being abandoned. I had enough and told her that she's an idiot if she didn't think
Starting point is 00:15:38 that her actions wouldn't have consequences. She called me a jerk and hung up. I'm unsure if I was a jerk and I feel guilty since I'm now closer to both my parents since I promised my stepdad that he can walk me down the aisle of my wedding. Yo okay, according to OP, this dude worked himself to the bone to provide for two kids who aren't his, raised them for most of their childhood and then she says, oh I've been abandoned. Yo, what are you talking about? He didn't abandon you. You abandoned him.
Starting point is 00:16:08 Opie, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. Your sister desperately needs a reality check here. I'm giving your sister 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. Yeah, you're correct in that it's your sister's right to make these kinds of decisions, but still, what she did was cold and heartless.

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