rSlash - r/AITA for Letting My Brother Go Homeless?

Episode Date: June 15, 2023

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Am I the bad guy? Where OP Let's His Brother Become Homeless? Am I the bad guy for never helping my older siblings out and letting my brother and his kids be homeless? My family is heavily divided over this, so I was hoping to get an unbiased perspective. I'm the youngest of four siblings by far. I'm a 22-year-old woman and my husband is 26.

My older siblings are a 30-year-old sister, a 32-year-old brother, and a 33-year-old brother. Between the three of them, they have a combined 14 kids. Jesus! That's almost five kids each, almost. Every single one of them has multiple kids. None of them went to college, and they all work lower paying entry-level jobs. I graduated last year and I work as a nurse. My husband works on planes, but I don't want to say what he does specifically. Our household income is about $200,000 and the average income we live is about 80k I think. This is all relevant. My parents like to host big family functions for every holiday and they bring the whole

family together. Ever since I was a teenager, my siblings have always asked me for favors, mostly to babysit. I did it for a while when I was around 16, but I quickly realized that they didn't appreciate anything, and there was nothing in it for me, so I stopped. For the past 6 years, I've had a, don't ask me for anything, stance, since my siblings are the type to ask for favors, but never offer help when you need it. They always borrow money from our parents, but never pay it back. My oldest brother is getting evicted, and he asked if him and his girlfriend and their four kids could stay with me in my husband.

My husband and I own a four-bid, two-bath home. I told them no, because they have a habit of settling in somewhere, not paying rent, and refusing to leave. They also let their four kids absolutely destroy every rental they live in, coloring on the walls, holes in the walls, etc. My brother and his girlfriend are pissed at me and they blew up at us at my mother's birthday party last week. They're going to have to stay at a shelter and they're saying that it's my fault, but I think it's their own lack of responsibility. My other

two siblings chimed in saying that they agreed with my brother and that they think that I'm a butthole. I think that my sibling suck and I don't want my house getting torn up by their heathens. I know that if I let them move in, I'd end up having to evict them and they wouldn't pay for anything at all. I think it's not fair that they always ask me for money because I make more money than they do. And they treat my husband and I like we're some kind of upper class snobs because we worked hard and made good choices in life to be able to buy a house early. Am I the bad guy for not helping my siblings? Specifically my brother, I guess. Oh man, it's so funny to me, funny and frustrating. Well, okay, mostly

frustrating. It is funny and mostly frustrating to me that everyone else in your family is casting judgment on you for not letting the family move in. Well, why don't they offer your brother to move in with them? Right? Seems like a perfectly logical choice. If they strongly believe that sibling should help each other out, then do it. Then help out your sibling.

The answer is super clear. They're hypocrites and they don't wanna do it because they know if they let their sibling in, it'd be a nightmare. O.P. Stanger Ground. Your family sounds kinda toxic. I'm giving you zero out of five bad guys. I'm giving you entitled and hypocritical siblings two out of five bad guys. Am I the bad guy for removing all the fun stuff from my room at my mom's place and leaving it at my dad's place because my step-cister sleeps in my room when I'm with my dad? My parents are divorced. I split my time 50-50 between both houses.

My mom's been remarried for a number of years and has three step kids. Two boys who are younger and a girl the same age as me. She and I get along so badly that my custody dates were switched so that we're not in the house at the same time because we can't get along. It all started with her taking my favorite plush animal without permission and ruining it. Its eyes were ripped out and it got soaked which ruined the color. When I told her that she shouldn't have taken it, she made it her mission to take my stuff without asking, and rarely faced any consequences for it because I was told to share. Some of the stuff that she took was fine, but other stuff got ruined too.

When my mom told me that my step sister would sleep in my room when I was away, I knew that I didn't want to leave the important stuff at my mom's house, so I took it all to my dad's place with me. I was 12 at the time. This was only discovered a couple of weeks ago. Apparently, dear old steps has been trying to find the goods for years, but when her dad mentioned that my grandparents gave me a console and they couldn't find it, they realized what I'd done. My mom and her husband confronted me about it, and I admitted it. I told them that I didn't trust my step sister with my stuff, and that I moved it all to my dad's place.

My mom asked me how my stuff was safe when my dad has two stepsons at home. I said it's because they're not allowed to go through my stuff, and because they're good boys who wouldn't do that. My mom's husband was like, well, what are you saying about my daughter? I told him that he's known for years what we think about each other. My mom called my grandparents and asked what they thought about the console going to my dads.

They said they were fine with it, that at least it was safe. My mom told me that I should have told them my concerns and worked out a better solution than pretty much emptying my room. She also said that, surely, there's stuff that I'm willing to share. I said, not with my step-sister. My mom told me that I wasn't being very fair, and how are we ever going to have a good sister relationship if we don't trust each other? I told my mom that we won't, because we're not sisters. We'll never be sisters, and I don't ever want to be.

My mom and her husband think that I'm the butthole for doing this, but I gotta ask. Am I the butthole? I don't understand why it's entirely on you to be the better sister, but there's no burden on your step sister to be the better sister. If they really wanted you and your step sister to get along, then they would actually enforce your boundaries. O.P., your mom and stepfather are not very good parents because they are clearly showing favoritism. I'm giving you zero out of five bad guys. Stick by your guns OP. I'm giving your mom, stepdad, and step sister, 2.5 out of five bad

guys. Am I the bad guy for spending a lot of time in my bunker away from my family? My grandfather was an incredibly talented man who also suffered from paranoid schizophrenia. And he was convinced that a nuclear apocalypse was going to end the human race at some point. So he built his own bunker and then buried the entrance because he was convinced that both the KGB and the CIA were watching him and wanted to keep the bunker a secret. Yes, he was a crazy man. My dad inherited my grandfather's house but never lived there. So when I had my first child in 2018 and got married in 2019,

my dad made me an incredibly generous offer for the house. The bunker became kind of an urban legend, mostly because my old grandpa used to tell a lot of crazy stories. But out of curiosity, I went looking for it and I found the entrance. The old man really did it. So thanks to being stuck at home during COVID, I started remodeling the bunker to make it look less like a fallout vault and more like my own man cave. Everyone loves it, especially the kids in the family. So the house is decorated to my wife's tastes while I can do whatever I want in the bunker. Play games, fix computers, set up a whole home server, work from home,

etc. However, lately she's been complaining about me being distant and spending a lot of time there and less time with her and our child. She's pregnant again so she said that she was worried. But I promise to spend more time at the house. After a few weeks, that still wasn't enough for her, and she accused me of abandoning her. I'm asking for judgment here because I'm trying to be there for my family, but this bunker feels like it's the only thing that's really mine, and where I can actually have a break.

But my wife has said that she's going to seal the entrance, otherwise I might miss the birth and not even notice. Should I just move all my stuff to the house and forget about it? Am I really being neglectful or is this just her pregnancy hormones talking? To be clear, I do help with the house chores and spend time with my son when I'm there. And I have an inner common to bunker, so my wife can just call me if she needs anything and I'll go up there immediately. Down in the comments, I'm going to read this reply from a Lestrius shirt.

You're the bad guy. Where's your wife's bunker equivalent and how many hours per week does she get in that space versus you in your bunker? Way to go putting a hundred percent of the mental load on your wife in no uncertain terms. Yeah OP, there's nothing wrong with winning some alone time and winning your own space, but it sounds like you've gone way too far in that direction. Also, don't get me wrong, a bunker's super, super cool, and if I had a bunker on my property, I'd probably want to spend all my time there too.

But there's kind of something symbolic about physically leaving the house to spend time on your own, versus, you know, going to another place in your house to spend time on your own, versus, you know, going to another place in your house to spend time alone, like your office, or a gaming room, or the basement, a man cave, or whatever. It kind of just sends the message of, I don't want to be with you, and I don't want to be here. And even though you're just in the backyard, it's still like an insidious, negative thing that can affect someone's happiness, and unfortunately,

your wife is affected by that. So OP, you're just going to have to step up and be there for your family. Also OP adds in a very long update that I'm not going to read that basically he had a long sit down conversation with his wife, and it was really emotional, and she's going through a rough time with a pregnancy, but basically OP is's gonna try harder to be there for her. So OP, I'm gonna give you one out of five bad guys because the vibe I'm getting from you isn't really that you're malicious, it's just that you're clueless.

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18th birthday and embarrassing my father to his university friends? I'm a 20 year old male and to put it bluntly, I was an unwanted child. I was a whoops pregnancy that my parents were too religious to abort. As a result, I pretty much raised myself until I was kicked out at the age of 18. I won't lie, it hurt being rejected by the people who were supposed to love me, but I'm at peace with it. With that tragic backstory out of the way, about six months ago, my parents reached out and started by apologizing profusely. I wasn't sure about getting back in contact, but they seemed genuine, so I tentatively

went ahead. Things went well until they invited me to meet up in person. I showed up at the restaurant, expecting a quiet dinner and a heart to heart. Instead, I found out that my father's fraternity had rented out the whole place for a 25-year reunion. He met me at the door and told me to act like we're a happy family in front of his old friends. I, being hungry as hell at this point, made a beeline for the buffet. He promised me dinner, and by God, I I was gonna have dinner. I tried to blend into the background until I got to chatting with some other folks my age.

My father's friends kids I assume. They started talking about their parents and I nodded and smiled along. Then they directly asked me what I got from my 18th birthday and I didn't know what to say so I defaulted to the truth. So what your parents get you for your 18th birthday? Um, I got kicked out. Oh my god are you okay? That sounds awful. Yeah I'm fine. I just moved in with my aunt while I went to college.

We're a Jalgo. They then started gossiping about their schools and I made myself scare shortly afterwards. Later that night my father started blowing up my phone and managing me for embarrassing him. Apparently, what I said had gotten back to my father's friends who are now being very cold to my father. He was angry with me because it wouldn't have been a big deal to just lie and say face, but now he's in hot water with his university friends.

I muted him and went to bed. I was sure that I was in the right here, but now I'm having doubts. I'm worried that my parents might not want to keep in contact after I basically threw a monkey wrench into his relationship with his university friends. So am I the bad guy? Alright, based on the way the story is going, it sounds like your father only started trying to make amends specifically so that you would come to this meeting in life for him. OP, you said that you don't want to ruin communication with your parents, but they've had 20 years

to connect with you. It's pretty clear they just don't want to OP. To put it simply, your dad tried to use you to make himself look good, and when you refuse, now he's upset about it. Oh well, maybe you shouldn't have been a loser father for the past 20 years. In my opinion, this guy deserves to lose his friends. If I found out that one of my friends abandoned their kid, I wouldn't want to be friends with them either. Opie, you get 0 out of 5 bad guys.

Your worthless parents get 4 out of 5 bad guys. Am I the bad guy for sitting with my son at my wife's funeral? I'm a 52 year old man, and I was with my wife, who was 53, since high school. We got married and had a son, who's 25, and a daughter who's 27. My son came at his gay when he was 16. My wife was never supportive of my son being gay. He moved out at the age of 19 to live with his boyfriend. My wife tried to pretend that he didn't exist.

None of her family were supportive and would let it be known during family events. As a result, I became distant from my wife and was looking into divorce. She got diagnosed with breast cancer last year and I put the divorce on hold to help take care of her. My son also helped, but she would push him away. The cancer spread throughout her body, and she passed away last week. We had the service last week, and her family made it clear that my son and his boyfriend had to sit away from everyone else.

Her brother approached me, asking if I would sit with him and his family. I simply told him no, and went to sit with my son. Everyone gave us dirty glares and it was worse during the reception. Her brother approached me after the service, angry that I chose my son over my wife. He even went as far as to say that my wife didn't want her son there and that he was a disgrace. I'm now disgraced by her family for supporting my son. This is cause tension between

the families. I would like to know if I was the bad guy. Opie, here's a life lesson that once you learn to accept will make going through life a lot easier. Just don't care about the opinions of bigots. They're obviously dumb and wrong and hateful so everything that comes out of their mouth you can just safely ignore. So don't sweat at OP, just focus on building your relationship with your son and your daughter, and move on. OP, you get an easy, peasy, lemon-squeezzy zero out of five bad guys. That was our Slash of My The A, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.

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