rSlash - r/AITA for Letting My Child Drink Wine?

Episode Date: December 20, 2023

0:00 Intro 0:06 Banned 3:09 Split the check 5:33 Teen drinking 9:57 Wedding dress 12:36 Toys Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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If you are someone you know has concerns about gambling, visit connectsontario.ca. Welcome to R-Slash. Am I the butthole where OP bans a widow from her dead husband's memorial? Am I the butthole for banning my son's mom from a memorial? My ex-wife and I have three boys, 16, 12, and 10. We divorced pretty much right after the youngest was born. We also both remarried. She remarried a guy named Christopher and got a divorce last year after seven years of marriage. I, however,

am happily married to my wife, Jessica. Christopher and my boys were pretty close and they were bummed when the divorce happened. I always got along well with the dude. A few months after the divorce, Christopher revealed that the reason he got a divorce was because he was diagnosed with Adino carcinoma and Diana didn't want to be his nursemate or responsible for his medical bills, so she just checked out. Adino carcinoma is a cancer that starts in the glands

that lines the inside of the organs. Okay, so it's cancer. He told me this because he wanted to leave whatever he had to my kids. Unfortunately, he had no family of his own. Obviously, I said of course and signed the paperwork. A few months ago, I got a call from a social worker saying that Christopher was a few months away from dying and he was unable to care for himself. Christopher had given his social worker my number. Basically, they needed someone to help with end of life care. He had made me his power of attorney. He was living in hospice and my wife and I moved him into our home because he deserved to live his final days in dignity. It also taught my

kids about compassion. Unfortunately, he died after two weeks. He was cremated a few days ago. Now me, my wife, my kids, and a few of our friends are planning to spread his ashes at the beach this weekend. Diana asked if she could attend, and I told her to kick rocks. She wanted nothing to do with him when he was dying. I'm not saying that Christopher was a burden, but it's really sad that this dude had to reach out to his ex-wife's first husband like he did.

This was clearly more of her responsibility. I said that she can't just sit around and let us do all the hard work so that she can come in at the very end and pretend to be a grieving widow. My older son thinks that I should let her come, and I told him to mind his own business and mouth. I'm not gonna sugarcoat your mom for you. Your mom is a witch and she'll be treated the same way that she treated your stepdad. Man, OPI was super, super on your side

until the very end when you said those awful things about her. OPI, you really shouldn't badmouth the kid's mother in front of him. It just creates a toxic dynamic and it builds mistrust with the kids and it's just not healthy. Which is a shame because from the rest of the story you sound like a really compassionate and caring guy and so does Christopher and the kids like him too. So this was all set up to be a wholesome story but then you just kinda ruined it by trash talking the kid's mom.

OP, I'm giving you one out of five buttholes for that. I'm giving Christopher zero out of five buttholes and I'm giving your ex-wife three out of five buttholes. When this woman gave her wedding vows, I wondered if she added insickness and in health. Maybe she crossed her fingers when she got to that part. Am I the butthole for splitting the bill at dinner and not letting my boyfriend pretend that he paid? I'm a 24 year old woman, and I've been dating Ben, who's 26 for 8 months. For context, Ben and I are from different income brackets, and Ben has expressed that he sometimes feels a little bit weird about this because he's a gentleman at heart, but he

says that it's hard to treat me since I'm not really impressed by his gestures. I've said many times that I'm not concerned about these kinds of things either way, but it comes up periodically. Last night, Ben and I went to dinner with six of my friends. In total, there were three men and five women. At the end of the dinner, the two guys, Max and Harry, said they would get the bill, as the guys usually do when we're out. Ben quietly said to me that he wasn't really comfortable with the guys paying for his dinner, so I said that I'd chip in with the bill. Ben thanked

me, but asked me if he could chip in, and then I could pay him back afterwards because he didn't want them to know that I was paying. This struck me as totally absurd because firstly, it's unnecessary. Second, even after splitting the bill, I don't think he'd be able to afford it. And third, I felt like he was trying to enter a pissing contest with my friends, which was just childish. I said no, I would just pay the bill and turn to everyone else and said that I'd chip in for a third of the bill. No one batted an eyelid, but Ben was sulking.

He's now mad at me, saying that I am masculinityed him and made him look bad in front of my friends. I think he's being over dramatic because my friends couldn't care less and he needs to get over himself. Am I in the wrong for not letting him save face? You know, I do understand where Ben is coming from and I do understand why he feels amasculated. The thing is, OP is not the one who amasculated Ben. It was himself and kind of sorta indirectly the two guys who paid for

the bill. You know, because if the two friends paid for the bill, then this guy will be obligated to offer as well and he can't afford it, so they kind of pressured him into paying for one third of the meal, which I'm not necessarily blaming them for, I'm just saying they're one of the reasons why he was emasculated. OP, I'm gonna give you 0 out of 5 buttholes. If you wanna pay with your own money, then you deserve credit for it. I'm giving him one out of five buttholes, not because of what he wanted to do.

You know, he was embarrassed, that's not a huge deal. The reason why he deserves a butthole score is because he got mad at you afterwards, which was just stupid. Dude, if you're broke, don't get mad at your girlfriend over it. Am I the butthole for letting my 16 year old daughter drink a glass of wine? I'm a 46 year old woman, and last night I had a glass of wine while watching a movie with my daughter who's 16.

She asked me if she could try some. Normally, I'm strict with my kids when it comes to alcoholic beverages, but I didn't think a little wine would hurt, so I poured her a glass. I told her this would be a once in a blue moon exception. My husband, on the other hand, was not okay with this. When he came into the living room and saw her with wine in her hand, he lost his mind. He started shouting at me, asking why the hell

I let her drink alcohol underaged, and she could easily become addicted to it. I immediately felt bad and apologized, but my husband is still pissed with me over this. I don't think you trust me anymore. Am I the butthole? Wow. Yo, what? Okay, I went down to the comments, expecting people to... I felt like this was an easy layup post, but I'm scrolling down, I'm scrolling down. Everyone is saying not the butthole. God, am I gonna get... am I gonna get in trouble with this in the comments?

Is everyone gonna trash on me? This is a very healthy, reasonable, and responsible way to introduce alcohol to a teenager, because it's much better to experiment with alcohol and understand its effects on the body and your limitations in the comfort of your own home as opposed to a high school party, as opposed to college where there's no adult supervision whatsoever.

So from that perspective, I think it's totally fine OP. The problem though, and the thing that I don't understand why everyone is saying not the butthole, is OP did this without consulting the father, without consulting the husband. Doesn't he get a say in this? He's her dad. And people in the comments are saying, well, in Europe, it's perfectly reasonable for a 16 year old to drink alcohol. So I don't see the big deal. Okay, let's change the analogy to make it something legal in America. Driving a 16 year old is allowed to drive.

I think if a mother or a father just randomly out of the blue takes a 16 year old driving for the first time or buys them a car for the first time or takes the kid to get their license for the first time without ever consulting the other partner, then that's also scummy behavior. Yeah, it's perfectly reasonable, yeah, it's perfectly legal, but a 16 year old driving is a big deal. They're safety to consider, this is an important bonding moment between parent and child, so to completely remove one of the parents out of the equation isn't fair to that parent.

Man, here, look, here's a story from my life that's somewhat similar. I worked from home and a while ago my wife's father came to visit. And unbeknownst to me, my wife had ordered like a toddler-sized bicycle for our toddler daughter. And her father assembled the bicycle, which I didn't even know had arrived, and put our daughter on the bicycle and, you know, rode her around the house,

and then when I came upstairs, I see my father and while pushing my daughter on the bicycle, which I'm sure they thought was sweet and nice and everything, but see, that's the thing, man. In America, the stereotype is that the father teaches the kid how to ride a bicycle. It's one of those quintessential bonding moments like playing catch in the front yard, you know, and because they did this without giving me a chance to say hey I'd like to be the first one to do it, that opportunity was robbed from me. And

that's, I want to be honest it makes me a a little sad. Now, I don't blame them because my wife and the dad are Chinese, so they don't have this stereotype of the dad teaching the kid how to write a bicycle. So, you know, it's just a cultural misunderstanding I can forget and forgive. But I felt sad in that tiny little thing, which really isn't a big deal. Alcohol is a much bigger deal than this. So, to cut your partner out of the decision decision making process there is, in my opinion, really scummy. It's really inconsiderate and selfish.

I'm really shocked by all the not-but-holes down in the comments. I can't believe it, to be honest with you. I will say that the husband yelling is a bit of an overreaction. He should have handled his emotions better in that situation, but I can understand the degree of shock and probably anger and feelings of betrayal that he probably felt when he came in to see a 16 year old daughter drinking alcohol out of the blue. Is this the first time she's been doing this a while? Why is she drinking alcohol? Why didn't you consult me?

So I'm giving OP 2 out of 5 buttholes, and I'm giving the dad 0.5 out of 5 buttholes for having an emotional reaction. Am I the butthole for not allowing my daughter to wear her late mother's wedding dress since she won't fit into it? My late wife was a very small person. When we got married, she was only 115 pounds. So her wedding dress size reflects that. She passed away two years ago, so she can't attend our daughter's wedding that'll be in 2025.

Now, my daughter wants to wear the dress, and I told her that wouldn't be a good idea since she won't be able to squeeze into it. She told me that she could just increase the size of it, and I told her I'd think about it. I looked into it, and they basically cut the dress up to size it up. I informed her that, no, she can't wear the dress because they'd be cutting it up. This resulted in a huge argument about me gatekeeping my wife's things. I once again told her no and that she can wear some of her jewelry.

My daughter hung up on me. She clearly thinks that I'm the jerk and my sons are now on me to give up the dress. And then OP posted an update. Since people have asked me, my wife always wanted to go dress shopping with our daughters. She loved her wedding dress, and I don't think that she would be okay with it being cut up.

Okay, um, man, am I gonna disagree with the comments here? This feels like a no-no butthole situation. Oh, no, okay, it looks like the comments are kind of agreeing with me. Yeah, like, it's normal for OP to not want to let go of his wife's wedding dress. He married his wife, the love of his life in this dress, so of course he's going to have strong attachments to it. Also, it's not surprising that the daughter wants to wear the dress because, at least in

America, there is a semi-tradition of the mother giving a wedding dress to a daughter. It's not completely unheard of. And you know, the mother can't be there, so the daughter's thinking, at least I can have part of my mom with me on my wedding day, because I'll be wearing her wedding dress. It's sweet. So, like, the problem here is there's an abundance of love for this deceased woman. OP loves the wife, doesn't want to let go of the dress, the daughter loves the mom once the dress. I think I'm more inclined to say that OP is mostly in the right here because unless the dress was specifically handed down, then gosh, though, man, if my wife... oh, this is a tough one. If my daughter wanted to wear the wedding dress of my deceased wife, I don't know how I could

possibly say no to that. How do you how do you deny than that? Yeah, I'm gonna stand by my statement. I think no one's the butthole here I think both solutions are acceptable. I think keeping the dress is okay. I think giving the dress to her is okay So I'm giving everyone zero out of five buttholes But I wouldn't be surprised if someone disagreed and said that, you know, one side of the other is the butthole. This is kind of a sticky one. Am I the butthole for telling my sister that if she's so upset about my kids not sharing her toys, they can find another place to live? I'm a single mom to Emmy, who's six. She's my only child. Emmy has been six and she was two, and if I'm gonna be honest, she likely

won't make it to ten. Her dad left us when she got sick. Emmy spends one week in the hospital, then one week at home. Because of this, the last time I was able to send her to school was two years ago, when we were able to do preschool three hours a day, two days a week. Because back then, they still wore masks. Now, the only time that she's around other kids is when she's in the hospital. Amy hates sharing her toys, so I try not to make her do it. Usually when we see her cousins, I'll buy something like a big pack of chalk and a gallon

of bubbles, and I'll tell her it's for everybody, but that's the only time she'll share. My sister has two daughters, ages 5 and 7, who are living with us temporarily. It's been difficult for everyone. At first I switched rooms with Amy, and we put all three girls in the master, but Amy hated sharing rooms and said the girls were always touching her stuff so we switched back and I put the girls in the spare room with her mom. My sister was complaining that the room was too crowded so she's staying on a cot in my office, but apparently that's too uncomfortable so she wants the girls

to share again. My sister does not pay rent. Her husband does spend 500 bucks a month to pay for the groceries and she helps with Amy while I'm at work. They've also been complaining that I take Amy on day and weekend trips without them. Amy just spent the week in the hospital and we came home on Saturday. My niece's beds were moved into Amy's room and her toys were everywhere. I confronted my sister and she said that Amy isn't using her room or her toys half the

time and the little girl should be sharing with each other. I told her that Amy has already made it clear that she doesn't want to share her room or her toys and that the room needs to be the way that we left it by the end of the day. She says that I'm being unfair so I snapped at her and said that I'll be prioritizing my kids over her ungrateful self and her kids. And that if she can't get over my kid not sharing, then she needs to find somewhere else to live. They did fix Amy's room, but they haven't been talking to us.

At this point, I'm thinking about kicking them out anyways. Man, the audacity of some people. Yo, these people are living here rent-free and they're angry at the homeowner because they can't steal the toys of her sick daughter. What? What are they, psychopaths? Oh, Pete, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes.

Kick them out, oh my God. I'm giving your sister and her family 3.5 out of five buttholes. That was our slash amide the butthole and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.