rSlash - r/AITA for Making My Brother Homeless?

Episode Date: April 15, 2026

0:00 Intro 0:05 Finances 4:26 Divorce 9:44 Snatched 12:48 Kid name Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by FedEx. These days, the Power Move isn't having a big metallic credit card to drop on the check at a corporate lunch. The real Power Move is leveling up your business with FedEx intelligence and accessing one of the biggest data networks powered by one of the biggest delivery networks. Level up your business with FedEx, the new Power Move. Welcome to R slash Am I the Butthole, where everybody wants a free handout. Am I the butthole for potentially ruining my brother and sister-in-law financially? My brother and sister-in-law recently had a child together, which is awesome, but I also found out they actually don't pay rent to our mom.

They're staying in her old house. My mom wants to downsize and move back home for better weather. Things have been tight for her, so I help her out. I thought my sister was paying property taxes and general upkeep of the house. Turns out they don't even pay her rent. Apparently they're also struggling, which I understand since they live in New York, the cost of living could be nutty. What got me was when my mom told me my sister-in-law made the choice to not go back to work.

She wants to stay home with their kid. Fair, but on my brother's income, they cannot afford to pay any rent or housing expenses. Mom wants to make me responsible for her finances. She essentially doesn't want to worry about bills and stuff going forward, which I don't have a problem with. Just the expenses on her old house are adding up. She finished the basement for them to give them more space. She also pays their car payment, phone, internet, and easy pass.

If I wasn't helping her, she'd be homeless. I told her we need to change up this agreement because she cannot sustain it. She pretty much told me I can handle it however I see fit, which is. is annoying, but it is what it is. So I did have a talk with my brother, and it did not go well. I more or less told him things are going to change, and mom will not subsidize their lifestyle. I acknowledged they want a parent to stay with their kids, so I asked why he doesn't stay home and she go back to work. To put this into perspective, she was a nurse, and he is a teacher, so she made much more than him. He said she wants to be home. I said I get it, but they cannot afford to do this.

that. He said, yes, we can. I told him, no, they can't. The only reason they're making it work is because mom is covering the majority of their expenses, and they're not paying rent. He's upset because he feels that mom should tell him this. I told him mom said that I could handle it. I don't want to be the bad guy, but mom cannot sustain this. She's barely getting by. Time went on and nothing's changed. So last month, I told him that starting in April, mom was going to cut back on stuff. I figured, out what to do with this car since it's in our mom's name. I'll possibly sell it. I told him we're canceling the internet, phone, and easy pass. As for rents, I've been looking for how to legally make tenants with a proper lease. I'm speaking with a landlord and a tenant attorney. My brother

and sister-in-law are miffed because they feel that I'm being petty and overzealous with how far I'm going, claiming I'm willing to make my niece homeless. That's not my intent, but they can't keep abusing our mom like they have. She's going to be 68. She's worked her butt off over the year. She has no reason to struggle when she's worked as hard as she did. The only reason she's struggling is because the majority of her money goes to them. They claim she wanted to do this and I somehow convinced her otherwise. My mom is a chronic people pleaser and she would never tell them no, because they know exactly how to get her to cave. My sister-in-law thinks that I'm being a prick because I suggested she go back to work, implying I'm telling her how to parents?

You know, here's the reality. Some people may disagree with me in the comments. If you give someone money, you have a right to tell them what to do. I mean, that's just kind of how it goes, isn't it? That's how the world of jobs work. That's how being a parent works basically. You know, you raise a kid, you give them a house, you give them food, you get to say, no, you cannot have ice cream for dinner.

And yeah, if you're paying someone's bills, you get to say, well, actually, I'm not okay with that. And they have to just suck it up. I mean, it really sucks that. That's the case, but it's basically true, especially in this situation. Because, you know, by, what is it, transitive property, if O.P. pays his mom and then mom pays them, is the transitive rule? Transitive property, that means O.P. is giving them money, basically. So O.P., I'm on your side. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. What's with all the did?

beats today. Good job, you people. Bull yourself up by your bootstraps. Am I the butthole for getting divorced as soon as my last kid was out of the house? I should have listened to my dad before I got married. But I was 18 and I knew everything. I was in love and I was going to be with her no matter what. We got married, we got jobs, we had two kids. My wife's family helped us with everything. My family was as supportive as they could be, but we sideline them. We started. We started. We started to be. We started to spent all of our holidays with my wife's family. Both kids' birthday parties were held at my in-laws, and my parents were invited as a courtesy. We both worked and raised the kids, but as time went on, there were two groups in our home. Her and the kids were one, then there was me. All of my choices

were undermined. All of my wishes were dismissed. I couldn't even have privacy in my own bedroom by locking the door because it stressed the kids to knock. After 20 years, I was done. Last fall, my youngest went away for school. I filed for divorce that week. We didn't have assets besides our cars. I walked away with nothing to show for it besides two kids who never thought if my side of the family was important. My ex claims that I blindsided her and she didn't know that I was unhappy. I asked her, what about our constant ongoing arguments for the last 14 years made her think I was happy or satisfied with our marriage. I asked her what she thought it meant that I was constantly suggesting we get counseling, both for ourselves and her for how she dedicated

all of her energy on the kids instead of us or herself. I said that when my dog died, I didn't get a new one because I knew that although I would be the one to care for them and pay all the bills, she would find a way to claim him during a divorce. So I'm 41 and starting over. It took me no time. to find a better job. The only thing keeping me in my old one was that I was home every night. Now I'm working in a different city, doing night shift, and making more money than I ever did before. I have a rescue dog I got the week that I left. I'm walking him more, and I've met new friends in my neighborhood and at the dog park. My ex-as family, her and our kids think that I'm the butthole for not communicating that I was unhappy and just leaving. I talked to her constantly about everything that was bothering me. The kids being

allowed to come into the bedroom without knocking, her unwillingness to eat when I cooked my cultural food and letting the kids not eat it too, how I had to attend events with my family alone because she didn't want to come or let the kids come, plus a million other things. I've started dating. My girlfriend's amazing. Her name is Shelly and she's a teacher. Never been married, 32. We aren't at the meeting family stage yet, but I've met a lot of her friends and I'll be attending Easter at her house where she's hosting for everyone who isn't going to. home. This is another problem because I've moved on so quickly, but it's really not. I'd been checked out of our marriage for years. She's having a tougher time. She's not in the right place to date,

and her priorities are the kids, the adult kids who do not live at home. I've seen a few posts from her lately that made me want to ask. I know how I feel, I know how she feels. I'm mostly estranged from my family, so I don't count their opinions. And the kids in her family have been clear about me abandoning her after all this time. Am I the butthole for leaving as soon as I could after our youngest left? Okay, so I try to take post at face value, you know, just evaluate based on the actual text here. But there's definitely something missing here because it's a little strange that O.P.'s

kids just kind of turn their back on them. And also, O.P. talks about his kids as if he doesn't love them at all. He talks about them like they're, you know, roommates who are renting out the basement or something. Oh, yeah, here. This comment says they speculate that when O.P. checked out of his marriage, he also checked out of being a dad, which I'm a little bit suspicious of, but I, you know, unfortunately, I can't really confirm it based on the text here. It's also a little weird to me that the absolute worst example you can come up with is that you couldn't lock the door to your bedroom. Okay. I mean, yeah, that's annoying. So, I guess I have to give O.P. Zero out of five buttholes because if you want to divorce, you can get divorce. It's, you know, that's your right. It's just I really feel like there's more to the story than O.P. is letting on. I'm guessing he's partially a villain here as well. I will say, though, one time when my daughter, Lily, was, I think about three or something, I went to the bathroom to poop, and I locked the door, and she came to the bathroom, and I heard the door knob twist with her trying to get inside. And I said, and I said, and I said, I said, I said, I said, said, Lily, you can't come inside, the door's locked. And she started crying, banging on the door

to be let in. I'm like, trust me, you don't want to be in here, child. It's worse in here than it is out there, and the door remained locked. And then after that, you know, it never happened again. She discovered, oh, this is what a locked door means. I understand now. Even a three-year-old can figure that out. So I am on O.P's side that you should be able to lock your doors. It's not a big deal. But other than that, the story feels a little fishy to me. Am I the butthole for snatching things back from my colleague? I'm a 36-year-old woman, and I have a colleague, George, who's 58, who has a nasty habit of taking things out of people's hands without asking, files, memos, communal snacks, etc. I don't believe it's malicious because he does it to everyone, and George is Spacey. We

lovingly call him Goldfish George. He's been here forever, and is only a few years away from retirement. His behavior causes some office strife, but people mostly ignore it. Except for me. I absolutely hate having things snatched out of my hands. I have no other issue with George. He and I have carpooled together on several occasions, and we get along great. Right up until I open a pack of gum, and he grabs a stick before I've even had one. I've discussed it with George more than once. Dude, just ask. I promise I'll give you some if I can. Think of it this way. If I hand you my wallet, that's fine, but if you snatch my wallet out of my bag, that's stealing. Every time we have this conversation, George swears he understands and that he'll stop. But then he does it again. Sometimes it's not so bad.

If we're in the break room and he grabs a handful of popcorn that I happen to be holding, whatever. But last week, he stole a pen from literally between my fingers while I was filling out a form, because he just had to write down his very important idea. His action left a giant pinmark on my form, and I had to get a new one. I decided I'd had enough, and that the next time he grabbed something without asking, I'd simply snatch it back. Then he'd finally understand how annoying it is. Long story short, my plan did not go well.

Yesterday, I was in the break room eating a big bag of communal chips. George came in and yanked them from me as expected. I immediately snatched the bag back and said, Ask please, George, we've talked about this. Then I held the bag out to him. He huffed and grabbed it so aggressively, it split wide open. It was only a quarterful, but we had to clean up the mess, and George was not pleased.

He told me I made him feel like a child. Maybe my, here's a taste of your own medicine plan, was childish. Am I the butthole? O.P., your plan wasn't childish. That's what you call gentle, I can 100% say that my 5-year-old has a better understanding of personal space and turn-taking than this 50-year-old. O.B., you get an easy 0 out of 5 buttholes. George needs to go back to kindergarten.

I'm giving him 1 out of 5 buttholes. Also, I want to point out this is almost certainly intentional, like he's doing it as some sort of power play or it just makes them feel good giving him an ego boost. There just aren't that many situations where the thing that you need, happens to be in someone else's hands? More than likely, he wanted to write down an idea because you were holding a pen and he wanted to, I don't know, own you a little, I guess. Am I the butthole for being blunt and saying I will never name our child after my wife's sister since she's a spoiled brat?

My wife and I are expecting our daughter in a few months. My wife, Nora, has a younger sister, Rebecca, that everyone in the family is overprotective of. I am not a fan of Rebecca. I find her to be a spoiled brat that will cry to mom every time she doesn't get her own way. I find her overall to be rude and entitled. Norris family babies her, and to be honest, at 22, she should not be throwing a fit about not getting what she wants. One example of this is she had a mini meltdown at our wedding because her shoes were the wrong color.

Not even by a lot, it was just a different shade of white. You couldn't even see the shoes since the bride's mom. made's dress was long. So about 30 minutes before we were going to get married, she was crying, and everyone had to comfort her. Anyways, we got dinner with my wife's family this weekend, and during dinner, Rebecca said it would be nice to have a niece named after me. I shrugged it off, and the dinner went on like normal. When we got home, my wife sat me down and told me she wanted to name our daughter after her sister, that she brought up how much it would mean to her sister. I told her no. We have a two yes rule with names. Nora texted her and told her no. That's where

everything got bad. It started with my wife getting texts about changing her mind from her family, and when she stuck to the decision, they got rude about it. I started to receive texts, and it ended with me getting calls from my mother-in-law and Rebecca. I told them both no multiple times, and it just turned to them asking, why, why, why? Why? Why? over and over again. At that point, I snapped and told both of them that I would never name our daughter after her. That she's a spoiled brat and I don't want our daughter to be anything like her. That this is literally an example of it. I hung up. My wife says I should apologize, but she agrees they were being a lot. I've still been getting texts about how Rebecca's been crying since the conversation.

Her family sees me as a huge jack-off and are still on my case. My wife, is on my side, but she does want me to smooth things over. I really don't want to, and I think they need to change. Okay, I can see why Rebecca is a spoiled brat. Rebecca's mommy calling O.P. and saying, I really think you should name your daughter after my other daughter, is such crazy enabling behavior? Of course people like this will turn Rebecca into a raging narcissist. This comment, name her rebetter. And then someone else says, name you. your kid Rebecca, and then start calling the other one old Rebecca. That was our slash am I the butthole.

And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.