rSlash - r/AITA for Making My Wife Do Housework?

Episode Date: February 3, 2026

0:00 Intro 0:07 House 2:57 New shirt 9:00 Chore chart 11:38 Living situation 14:23 Bills and chores Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...

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Starting point is 00:00:57 please go to Connixontario.ca. Welcome to R.S. Am I the Butthole, where O.P. buys the house right next door to his old enemy. Am I the butthole for buying the house next door to my former friend? I'm a 30-year-old guy, and I used to be friends with a 30-year-old woman whom I met at university. We were so close that we hung out every day, and we got to know each other. We had a falling out as she stole a piece of my academic work and faced an investigation from the academics and staff from higher up. While we were friends, she told me that she was from town such and such, and I told her that I'm from town, the other such. And they were both seaside resorts. I was shocked when she said that she was from her hometown because my mother went on holiday there every year, and I scattered her ashes there when I was 19 after she lost her battle with breast cancer. Her town is really popular and sought after in England. Prices can go up to $800,000 for a three-bedroom home and doesn't come by that easily. I searched her. I searched for her. her town on a real estate site to see if any properties had come up for sale, and there was one going
Starting point is 00:02:03 for $325,000. However, the property was so affordable because it needed modernizing and renovation. This property was also in a perfect location. It's by the seaside, I can go on long runs on the beach every day, which I do for my mental health. It's a five-minute walk from where I scattered my mom's ashes. It's an eight-minute walk to the train station. I can get the train to central London, where I work, two days a week and so forth, so it's cheap to live in this area. I didn't step inside my property until after New Year's Day because there were a lot of jobs that builders needed to do. After New Year's Day, I got to work doing the renovations that I could do. A few weeks ago, an Amazon van pulled up to drop off packages, and my next door neighbor wasn't in. He asked me if I could drop off the packages,
Starting point is 00:02:51 I saw the name, and I realized I'm living next door to my former friend as she has a unique spelling of her name, so I said no. My ex-friend found out that I lived next door and banged on my door causing a commotion. All the neighbors came outside. From speaking to relatives, I'm apparently the butthole because I won't move my house. I guess I'm probably a butthole for letting there be tension on the street. But it doesn't bother me that I live next door to her. As far as I'm concerned, I've moved on from the incident with her. This is a dream location, and I refuse to move at all because one person is unhappy. Am I the butthole? I'm going to read this top post from OK Complex. Not the butthole. She doesn't own the neighborhood. You're a reminder of something bad she did, and I expect
Starting point is 00:03:41 she doesn't like it. Not to mention, you put time and money into that house, and it's a perfect location for you. She'll either get over it or move. You don't need to worry about it. If she harasses you, involve the police. I agree. O.P., you get zero out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for making my daughter's boyfriend buy a new t-shirt? On the 23rd of December, my 19-year-old daughter's boyfriend, whose 19, came for dinner. We had a dinner then because he's going away with his family for Christmas. He arrived, rang the bell, and I answered the door. He came in, took off his jacket, and that's when I saw it.
Starting point is 00:04:17 He was wearing a t-shirt that said, It's not going to suck itself. I took one look at that shirt and asked him if he had any money. He said no, and asked why. told him that the shirt showed a marked lack of respect for both my daughter and my wife. I pulled two 20s out of my wallet and quietly ushered him back out the door and towards the Walmart three miles away and told him to buy a more respectful shirt and come back with it on. Mind you, this whole exchange took place between him and I, without an audience.
Starting point is 00:04:47 He was gone for 15 minutes and came back with a nice polo shirt on. We had a nice dinner together and nothing was mentioned of the incident. The next day, my daughter came to me and her mother and told us what I did, that I humiliated him. They aren't in breakup territory or anything, and no yelling or anything of the sort went on. My wife did tell me I could have handled it differently. So, Reddit, am I wrong for handling it this way? And if so, how could I have handled it? You know, it's a funny coincidence because my in-laws are visiting today.
Starting point is 00:05:20 They arrived from the plane yesterday. You could not pay me much. money to wear a shirt that says it's not going to suck itself around my father-in-law, or my mother-in-law for that matter, but I really don't want to do that around my father-in-law. And I literally don't know how you could have handled this better. You gave the guy money, you did it discreetly, you quickly came up with an easy, simple solution. You gave this idiot a lot of grace. I don't know what your daughter's issue is.
Starting point is 00:05:47 Then OP posted an update. I sat my daughter down this morning and asked what her boyfriend actually said to her. This changes my opinion of him. Apparently, he did not tell my daughter what the phrase was on the shirt, but he did tell her accurately what I said to him and asked him to do. He didn't use the word humiliated, that was my daughter's interpretation. Her rush to defend him came from our examples. Apparently, she's taken note of times that I've defended my wife and vice versa.
Starting point is 00:06:15 She's going to talk to him when he gets back tomorrow, to follow up on why he thought the shirt was appropriate for a family setting. Then another update. My daughter called him about an hour ago, and this was informative. She asked him why he didn't tell her what the shirt said when he talked to her. His reply was telling. Because it was embarrassing. Then she went on to ask him why he wore it originally. And he admitted the shirt had been a gift from his older brother, and that the older brother dared him to and called him a chicken when he objected. Dumb sibling stuff apparently. She told him that none of what he'd done was cool and that she really liked him. and that he'd always been kind to her. She said she wasn't breaking up with him, but that these steps needed to be done. First, he needed to explain to his parents the entire situation.
Starting point is 00:07:03 Second, he needed to show up in person to our home and bring the money for the shirts. And, as she put it, put in a whole butt-kissing session that included the explanation of the dare. She said that if this was handled well, they could talk about moving forward and what that looked like. After the phone call, she talked to her mom and I
Starting point is 00:07:20 and admitted that she forgot her worth. She said that I, as long as she had been alive, had never gone out of my way to embarrass her mom, and that I'd always been respectful. And I'd not let anyone be disrespectful to her mom, which made me feel good. So she wasn't going to settle for less. Good for her. Then another update. I received a call this evening from the boyfriend's parents.
Starting point is 00:07:43 Firstly, they are mortified and extremely apologetic. Secondly, and the whole best part of this update, is that his parents are on Reddit and commented on my post to support the way I handled the situation. They told me that they loved my daughter and that we'd raised her right and had not raised their son to show this level of disrespect for anyone, let alone his girlfriend. Apparently, the boyfriend was following up on one of my daughter's conditions and went to talk to his parents. As the story unfolded, his mom reached for her phone, opened Reddit, and yelled,
Starting point is 00:08:14 Is this about effing you? To quote his dad, when my son read the first half paragraph, he died a little bit. little inside. So anyways, they're going to come to dinner tomorrow evening with the boyfriend. Then another update. Dinner was very pleasant. Let me say that his parents are great. The boyfriend showed up with red roses for my daughter and yellow roses for my wife. He offered what I thought was a very sincere apology and a card with the entire 40 bucks in it, even though he'd given me the change and receipt on the original night. As it turns out, the older brother is the family athlete, J.B. Soccer, varsity soccer, and a sports scholarship for soccer. The quintessential jock.
Starting point is 00:08:55 The little brother is the exact opposite, artistic, sensitive, quiet, and felt like he never measured up to Big Brother, and he works to gain Big Brother's respect. The Big Brother takes full example of this and exploits his little brother for laughs. Near the end of dinner, my daughter says, I think I'll keep him around for a little longer. You guys okay with that? We're good with that for now. His mom is the boss, though, for thinking outside the box. As punishment to the older brother, the mom went into his clothing, drawers, and closet, took every shirt off of him and bought him eight very bright pink t-shirts that he'll wear until he realizes just how damaging exploiting someone or anyone is.
Starting point is 00:09:34 His access to cash is also cut off until this lesson is learned. Anyways, it was a successful night with new friends. Then another update. The older brother actually enjoys the pink shirt. Apparently his girlfriend likes them and he's gotten a few compliments. Well, O.P., you have clearly been vindicated. You get zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving the boyfriend one out of five buttholes, though he redeemed himself very well.
Starting point is 00:10:01 Am I the butthole for refusing to change the chore chart even though my wife works full time now? I met my wife in college and she was soon pregnant after we graduated. We moved in together and it was decided that she would not look for a job until after she gave birth. Our daughter was born and my wife was a stay-at-home mom for the first two years. We had a lot of fights about the chore splitting. I was very overwhelmed coming home and having to do a ton of chores after work and also spend time with our daughter. This has gotten worse as our daughter has gotten older and is a little tornado.
Starting point is 00:10:33 The biggest issue is that my wife wouldn't pick up at all, especially in the kitchen. That meant that I would come home, clean the kitchen, cook, and then clean the kitchen again. Then I'd have to go around and clean up all the days. activities. We argued about this a lot, and her stance was she watches our kid all day long, so I can clean up more when I get home. In the end, I gave in, and we made an official chore charts. Her, watch the kid, do laundry and grocery shopping, and appointments. Me, dinner, everyday cleaning, trash, meal prep, and nighttime routine. In the summer, my company informed
Starting point is 00:11:08 me that I'd be let go around Thanksgiving. We talked it over, and my wife found a job and would be the main breadwinner for the time being. I was to watch our daughter, and I'm in an online master's program. At the moment, I'm watching our daughter and doing my master's program. I personally haven't been having issues, but my wife is. She hates having to come home and do chores and clean up after us. I actually leave it cleaner than what she left me. We've been arguing about this constantly. She thinks it's unfair that she has to do chores after working all day, and me pointing out that this is literally what I've done for the past two years, and I keep pointing at the chore chart.
Starting point is 00:11:48 She said that she's the breadwinner now, so she shouldn't have to do this, and I pointed out that I was the breadwinner before to begin with, and I did all of this, that I'm watching our daughter and also doing a program. She claims I'm being unfair, since I refuse to change the chore chart, because it's literally what I've done for two years. My friends have opinions on this, so I need an outsider's opinion. O.P., this seems to be some kind of deeper issue. You are two adults. You can't figure out who does the dishes. If you two can't resolve the dishwasher, then your relationship is doomed. O.P. is being petty, and the wife is being hypocritical. It's also possible that she's being a bit lazy. Kind of hard to tell because we don't know how many hours each person is working or what their jobs are, but it is worth pointing out that a newborn baby takes a lot more manpower to care for than a toddler. Am I the butthole for telling my father, law that they won't ever be living with us. Prior to my wife and I trying for our first,
Starting point is 00:12:46 we spoke with both sets of parents and asked if they had any interest in helping with watching their grandkids until preschool starts. Both were over the moon. All four are fully retired, and they all said, absolutely. The plan was to trade off weeks so they know their own schedule for booking their own appointments, etc. My wife gets pregnant and around 10 weeks post-birth, she's getting ready to transition back to work, and her parents have said they've changed their minds and decided to travel more, and they want to enjoy their elder years. Um, okay. My parents did their absolute best to pick up my in-law's slack, but daily child care was too much with my wife and I working full-time. So we ended up with my parents watching the kid on Mondays and Wednesdays and paying for
Starting point is 00:13:29 childcare on Tuesdays and Thursdays, with my wife and I working half days on Friday to handle the rest. My parents would also take up Friday whenever we needed them to. They're incredible. It was very frustrating to have my in-laws say one thing and do the opposite. In six years, they've never once watched any of our kids for a single day. So my wife and I bought a house about a week ago. My in-laws are visiting, checking it out while we're unpacking, and my father-in-law sees this house has a first-floor master bedroom with a full bath. He turns to my mother-in-law and says, Oh, thank God, we won't have to do stairs. I said, come again? My mother-in-law says that between my wife and her two siblings, we're doing the best by far, and it would make the most
Starting point is 00:14:15 sense for them to live with us, as they're in their 70s, and their house is becoming too much for them already. I audibly laughed hard and loud and said, hell would freeze before you live here, which was met by shock from both of them. I explained that when we needed their help, they turned their backs, so we're simply doing the same. My wife agreed. She expressed how expensive and how difficult it was with zero help from one side of our village. That was their call, but we were now returning the favor. They're incredibly upset and hurt over this revelation. Were we the buttholes for this stance?
Starting point is 00:14:53 I don't think so at all, but if the votes are a bloodbath, I'll reconsider, as we do have the space. Yo, it's actually crazy that they expected you to just go along with this without even talking to you. They were already picking which rooms they're going to live in before even getting permission to live there in the first place. And they picked the master bedroom, your guys' bedroom. You know, these people are crazy audacious.
Starting point is 00:15:18 Opie, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your in-laws two out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for expecting my stay-at-home wife to do the majority of the housework since I pay 100% of the bills? I work 40 hours a week and my wife stays home. She decided she wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. And despite me not agreeing, she did it anyway. I told her dual income was better because if one of us lost our jobs, we'd still be okay.
Starting point is 00:15:44 But she said she didn't want to miss out on her son's elementary years. She has a 10-year-old son, and I have no kids. We've been married for a year and together for three. Recently, I heard her complaining to her sister on the phone that I just get home and immediately start playing video games. I later confronted her about this, and she said she expects me to do 50% of the household labor. I disagreed because on top of my 40-hour-a-week job, I also handle 100% of the finances and 100% of the car and house maintenance like cutting the yard, trimming trees, or when something
Starting point is 00:16:20 breaks. She says she's carrying a lot of the mental load, and I told her I am too. She seems to think that hers is more than mine, but again, I disagree. We just booked an appointment with the therapist to dive deeper, but I was wondering, am I the butthole? Well, considering that her son is in school all day. That's not exactly a stay-at-home mom situation. It's more of a stay-at-home wife situation. Sounds like you're giving your wife an amazing life and she's not particularly interested in giving you an amazing life back. O.P., I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving her one out of five buttholes. That was our slash am I the butthole. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.
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