rSlash - r/AITA for Mocking a Cancer Survivor?

Episode Date: July 21, 2023

0:00 Intro 0:06 Silence 2:58 Second wife 5:35 Sit on the ground 7:10 Sexist tradition 9:05 Top comment 10:35 Parents and in-laws 14:38 Undateable brother Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaph...one.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Shut up, Amazon, for last minute gifts. Great deals for everyone on your list. Gifts for mom and gifs for dad. Even for your sister and your brother, Chad. Ah, shoot, we didn't realize you were supposed to get a gift for our dog, what her guy, we almost forgot about her, that just got to occur. We didn't expect to get a gift from her. Or our cousin might forget his name.
Starting point is 00:00:22 He got us something nice, better as it pertains. For last minute deals on gifts for people You forgot get faster free shipping at Amazon! Welcome to R-Slasher My The Butthole We're a mean girl bullies a cancer survivor Am I the butthole for silencing my girlfriend? I'm a 28 year old woman And I've been dating my girlfriend Nancy
Starting point is 00:00:43 Who's 25 for about two months now. We met on a blind date that our friends set up, and we've been seeing each other relatively regularly since then. I'm not entirely sure if we're officially boyfriend and girlfriend, but Nancy seems to think so. Nancy describes herself as a bit of a mean girl. I honestly thought that she was just joking for a while because typically she's quite nice. However, she has an awful tendency to insult people based primarily on their
Starting point is 00:01:11 appearance. These insults can happen anywhere, anytime, and can be targeted at literally anyone. Of course, she never says these things about the person right in front of her. The other day, I invited Nancy to an event that we were having for a family friend. It was my mother's friend Sarah, who had just gotten out of the hospital for cancer. Sarah's family and my family are very close. I've known them since I was born and I consider them to be extended family. Due to her cancer and chemotherapy, Sarah no longer has hair and she's very thin. Once Nancy saw Sarah, she started smirking. I literally pleaded with Nancy not to say anything rude, and she agreed, but told me that I was ruining her fun. Fast forward and
Starting point is 00:02:00 I was chatting with my mother, who's 55 and my sister who's 24. Nancy walks by and says hello. She chats for a bit before starting to make several highly offensive jokes about Sarah and her appearance. I won't repeat the jokes, but her jokes mainly pertain to baldness and anorexia. My mother and sister looked mortified, and so was I. I literally had my jaw hanging open for a good few seconds. Once I snapped out of it, I firmly told Nancy to stop, and that no one found her awful sense of humor funny except herself. She got upset and said that I was being controlling and misogynistic for trying to silence her. I maintained my position and reaffirmed that her comments were insane. She got even more upset and asked that we leave.
Starting point is 00:02:47 I said that it would be rude for me to go as it was still relatively early, and she ended up leaving on her own. Am I the butthole? Yo, OP, are you literally colorblind because how do you not see this red flag? This woman bullied a cancer patient in front of her potentially future in-laws, and then says that you're a misogynistic for trying to shut it down. Yo, dude, run! Run! You're only two months in, it's not too late. Flee! Escape! Run for the hills! Opie, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving Nancy what's a fair score here. I think three out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving Nancy, let's a fair score here. I think 3 out of 5 buttholes.
Starting point is 00:03:28 Am I the butthole for lashing out at my family for calling my fiance my second wife? Years ago I was married to a close friend. We were roommates, adopted a dog together, and lived together since college until our mid to late 20s. We got married at 24 and 25. However, we were never actually romantically involved. She was not interested in marriage, and she was also questioning her sexuality at the time, but her family was ultra-traditional, and they kept pushing for her to settle down.
Starting point is 00:03:58 I had just gotten out of her rough long-term relationship, and we kind of just both said, screw it. We were basically living like a married couple, so let's get married for convenience. So we did the paperwork for it, but we never had the wedding. We were also never romantically involved. She wasn't my type, and I wasn't her type. My family knew that she wasn't my wife in the traditional sense. They did heavily disapprove though. When I started getting back into the dating scene, we split up and legally divorced. She remains one of my close friends to this very day, and I care for her a lot. It's been a few years, and I'm
Starting point is 00:04:35 now 32 with a lovely fiance who I can't wait to marry. However, ever since I announced my engagement, my family has been making weird comments like, oh so Roxy, my dog, is getting a new stepmom. Wife number 2 at age 32, huh? That's a lot of wise for your age. Let's hope the second one lasts. It makes both me and my fiance uncomfortable. I keep saying that my close friend wasn't really my wife in the traditional sense, but
Starting point is 00:05:06 my family keeps brushing me off saying that they're just joking, or she technically is my second wife anyway, so it's not like they're wrong. Today at breakfast, though, I blew up at them and called them disrespectful and rude for belittling my relationship. My mom and sister both said that if I didn't want to hear these statements, then I shouldn't have married my close friend. I threatened to not invite them to the wedding, and now things are super tense. Am I the butthole?
Starting point is 00:05:33 Okay, so it seems like the issue here isn't really that they're pointing out that this is your second life because that's just a matter of fact. The real issue is that your family is using this as an excuse to ridicule your relationship. The whole vibe that I'm getting from your family is, I told you so, and now they just want to rub this in your face. So yeah, you should snap at them because they're basically mocking your future wife. Opie, I'm giving you zero out of five buttoles. I'm giving your family, I think, 1.5 out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling a pregnant woman to sit on the ground instead of giving her my seat?
Starting point is 00:06:10 My nephews both graduated from high school this morning and I wanted to sit up front so I camped out a bit in front of the entrance. I brought my folding camping chair and my headphones to listen to my show. About 40 minutes before the school would let us inside, a pregnant woman got next to me since somebody let her cut in line. I assume her partner. Within 5 minutes, she asked me, politely, admittedly, if she could have my chair because she was going to have trouble standing the whole time. I said no, sorry, I need it more. I have bad feet in knees and I went back to my show. She asked me again two minutes later and the answer was the same.
Starting point is 00:06:47 However, she got a little mad at me and said that she was going to be struggling the whole time and asked her partner to tell me. He asked me himself politely and I again responded that sorry but I need the chair more and suggested that she could wait in the car or just sit on the ground. At that point the husband directly called me a butthole but left me alone. Yo, this is dumb. What if O.P. had brought snacks? And she's a hungry pregnant lady.
Starting point is 00:07:14 Should O.P. also have given the snacks? What if she had forgotten her phone and she was bored? Should O.P. also have given her the phone? Give me a break, man. O.P., you don't even need to justify your bad feet and your bad knees to not hand over your chair. It's your chair! If she's that worried about standing, then she should have brought her own chair.
Starting point is 00:07:34 OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving the entitled parent 0.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for begging my girlfriend to uphold a sexist tradition just so that she can make a good first impression? I have a big family that's incredibly close. We have big family dinners every few months where we all meet at my great-grandfathers estate and eat together. Typically how this works is that the women go cook for the time they're there and the
Starting point is 00:08:01 men don't. Which I'm fully aware is sexist as hell. That being said, I'm one of the youngest people in the family and my protest mean literally nothing. Some of the women in our family choose not to cook. However, this is usually met with the level of ostracizing. The women who don't cook are wives or long-term girlfriends, so they kind of already have a good family relationship doctored in. When I've seen new partners not cook, things have gone badly. Like, they get completely ostracized, people don't speak to them, caddiness, rudeness, etc. The next dinner will be in two weeks, and my girlfriend was asked if
Starting point is 00:08:39 she would attend. Initially, she said yes, which is great. I went for her to meet everyone, and for everyone to get used to seeing her around, but when I explained to her the tradition, she was understandably bothered. I told her I understood where she was coming from, however, it was best for everyone if she just played along. I told her this isn't a permanent thing, and that I'm only asking her to do this so that she can avoid bad treatment from the rest of the family. This is her first impression and I don't think it's best if we cause waves.
Starting point is 00:09:10 She told me that it's unacceptable and that if she has to do this she'll not be going. I've tried to find a compromise with her on this, but she won't budge and she's pissed at me. She told me that if I think this is acceptable to make her do this, then I'm just as bad as everyone else. My point is that she needs to make a good first impression. Am I the butthole? This top comment from Woustering Zeroes. You're the butthole. Why won't my girlfriend abandon her sense of self-respect so that she can establish herself as a subservient woman tool so that my sexist family won't mentally and verbally abuse her.
Starting point is 00:09:48 She just doesn't get it! Okay, OP is getting utterly obliterated in the comments, which of course he deserves. But I kinda wanna take a step back from giving him the beating that he deserves and say, listen dude, just because you're the youngest person in your family doesn't mean that your voice doesn't matter. Your voice matters just as much as anyone else, arguably more than theirs because you're not a sexist douchebag. Your options are simple.
Starting point is 00:10:14 Fight on behalf of your girlfriend or just don't go. Okay, this is like what's so weird about this, is we have this family that's really steeped in like old-fashioned values where men are men and women belong in the kitchen. And like if that's true OP, then wouldn't your family respect you standing up for your girlfriend for you defending your girlfriend's honor? So be a man, stand up for your girlfriend, and don't subject her to humiliation. Either they'll respect you for it or they won't, in which case you can just leave and
Starting point is 00:10:44 not come back in the future. So, um, I'm giving OP a butthole score of 2 out of 5 buttholes. But I do kind of feel bad for him because it sounds like he's being brainwashed and pressured by his sexist family. Hopefully he will come away from this post learning... wait. You know what? I don't have to do everything my family says. Actually, my family sucks. So you think you know sports. Points vet is the sportsbook for you.
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Starting point is 00:11:54 Along with your favorite restaurant food, alcohol, and other everyday essentials. Order Uber Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See out for details. Am I the butthole for winning to move my parents
Starting point is 00:12:08 into our home and not my husband's parents and suggesting instead that we put them in a nursing home? I'm a 35 year old woman and I've owned our home since before marriage. We also have a prenup. In our day-to-day life, we refer to it as our home, but my husband, who's 37, has never paid anything towards it and has no legal rights to it. Both of our parents are still alive, but my
Starting point is 00:12:31 husband and I were both the youngest kids and our parents are all much older. His mom has dementia, and his dad has some major mobility issues. They can no longer stay in their home. Due to my mother-in-law wandering the street recently, adult social services have gotten involved. My brother has two siblings. One of them is an addict who's in prison. The other has four kids and lives in a two-bit room apartment. Neither of his siblings can take his parents in, so it's us or a nursing home. Both of my parents are older and have recently retired. They live in a major city, but can't afford to live there on just their retirements, so
Starting point is 00:13:10 they need to move. My older brother is dead, so it's just me that my parents can rely on. I want to move my parents in with us. They're both easygoing people, and my husband gets along with them well. They can also contribute to the household finances. They wouldn't be a burden on us at all. My husband's parents, however, live off social security and are going into debt
Starting point is 00:13:31 because of their medical costs. They'd be a major burden on us. We'd have to take care of them and provide for them full time. My husband works much longer hours than I do, so I'd be responsible for them. Also, my in-laws are not very appreciative people, and I don't like them. I mentioned that I wanted to move my parents in with us, and we could use the money that we'd save from their financial help to put his parents into a decent home.
Starting point is 00:13:58 My husband was furious! He thinks that we should take his parents in, and my parents can just move somewhere cheaper and manage their own retirement funds just fine. I don't think this is reasonable at all. I express that he doesn't have the time to look after his medically needy parents, nor can he afford in-home healthcare. He said, as my wife, you should look after my parents out of love for me. I think that his response is kind of BS, to be honest.
Starting point is 00:14:24 I told him, under no circumstances of BS to be honest. I told him under no circumstances will his parents be moving in, and he's welcomed to move out and care for them elsewhere if he wants. I told him that if he decides to stay, I'll respect his decision of not wanting my parents to move in, and I can look for other options for them. So am I the butthole? And before I get into the verdict, looks like we have a significant update here. I spoke to my husband for about an hour about it. I think he thought that I would cave, but I'm not. Our marriage is done, and honestly, I'm okay with it. I bring a lot more to the table, and I'm ready to be with someone who's an equal partner. I admire certain aspects of his culture, but the relentless idea of sacrificing everything
Starting point is 00:15:10 so your parents are comfortable is something I don't agree with. They've always treated me poorly, and I'm not willing to sacrifice for them. My husband packs him clothes and is going to stay on his friend's couch for a while. I'm going to move my parents in later this month, and I'm gonna change the locks and move his stuff out into a storage unit tomorrow. He can't afford a lawyer, so I'll find one to represent both of us,
Starting point is 00:15:33 and that'll be it. I don't know what it'll do about his parents, and I don't care. He doesn't make enough money to pay for their care, so they're probably gonna go to the only nursing home in the area that works with Medicare. It's a truly awful place rampant with abuse and neglect, which does suck for them, but they treated me like garbage, so that's life, I guess. Opie, sounds like you got rid of a disrespectful husband and disrespectful in-laws, so this is a win-win-win situation. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your husband 3 out of 5 buttholes.
Starting point is 00:16:08 Am I the butthole for telling my brother that he's undatable? My brother Bill, who's 30, has been trying online dating for 3 years, but with no success. We live in a more rural area, so there aren't that many single women around his age to begin with. And the ones who are available...well, buildin' think that they were good enough. He asked me to edit his hinge profile so that he can attract a mate. I looked it over, and...damn! His profile has paragraphs of what he's looking for in a woman. Skinny, cute, under 30, average to high income and lives locally.
Starting point is 00:16:46 She must be into anime and gaming. The only pictures he has are grainy selfies or pictures with one or both of his parents. Mostly our mom. Bill lives with our parents and he's been working as a door greeter at Walmart since he was 18. I told Bill that he doesn't just need to overhaul his page. He needs to overhaul his life. No woman who meets his criteria would want to date an obese 30-year-old living off of his parents and working a job that Walmart normally gives to old people so they can stay
Starting point is 00:17:18 busy. Bill freaked out on me and told our mom. She's upset because I tried to tamp down when he needs my help. She wants me to apologize, but what's there to apologize? I just told Bill what's wrong and that he should consider changing his life if he really wants what he wants. So am I the butthole? Yo, the fact that this guy's response to this was to run to his mommy and tattletail that
Starting point is 00:17:45 my, we don't know if OP is a man or woman here, my brother slash sister was mean to me so, so put them in time out because I'm sad mommy. That really shows why this guy is having such a hard time finding a girl to date. OP, not the butthole, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving… gosh, I think I'll give Bill… let's say 0.5 out of 5 buttholes because he's not really a bad person necessarily, he's just completely delusional. That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.
Starting point is 00:18:18 because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.

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