rSlash - r/AITA For Not Cooking My Cheating Husband Dinner?

Episode Date: April 9, 2023

https://www.youtube.com/rslash Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R-slash, Am I the bad guy where O-P slowly comes to the realization that her husband is having an affair? Am I the bad guy for blowing up on my husband over chicken alfredo? I'm a 38 year old woman and I'm married to my husband who's 42. We've been together since our early 20s and we have three small kids all under 10 years old. He's a mechanic and works anywhere from 60 to 80 hours a week while I work as a hostess three days a week at a restaurant while the kids are at school. I do the majority of the housework and childcare, and I don't mind as I understand that he has a hard job and works a lot. He gets the kids on the bus every morning because he leaves for work

about 10 minutes afterwards. All I ask of him is to do his own laundry because his clothes are covered in oil and grime and need to go in by themselves, and to also pick up after himself because the kids destroy the house enough. A couple times a week he'll help with dinner and clean up at the end of the day as well. Over the last two months, he's completely stopped helping. He dumps his clothes on the laundry room floor, his half of the bedroom is a mess, he leaves cans and wrappers all over the living room, and he's even stopped getting the kids up, which has upset them because they love their mornings

with that. He's also been coming home hours later than usual. Uh oh, that's a bad sign. I've been letting it slide as he seems very stressed out. But a few days ago, he snapped at me for being a s**t wife for letting his clothes go unwashed. I reminded him that he always did his own laundry, and he had nass me to do it. I actually had been doing his laundry. I just hadn't gotten to it yet. He just grumbled and went to go watch TV. Last night, I made chicken alfredo. We haven't about once a week because the kids love it and no one's ever complained. Well, he complained through the whole dinner. He said that since I'm not taking care of the house, I should at least put a good meal on the table. That I've been letting the whole family go, and I should be ashamed of myself for treating him and his kids like that.

He called me a bad wife and mother in front of our kids. I told the kids to go to their rooms and I snapped. I screamed at him about how much I do for the household, that if it wasn't for me, the place would be trashed, and he has no right to treat me like this over chicken alfredo. We went back and forth for a while before he left, and I had no idea where he went, and he hasn't answered my calls or texts. I feel bad now, as I shouldn't have reacted like that, especially because I know that he's stressed from work, but it all just kind of built up and came out at once.

I just want to know if I was wrong for freaking out on him like that. And then OP posted an update. I called my husband for the hundredth time because he still hadn't come home and the kids went to know where he was. And a woman answered. I didn't recognize her voice and he doesn't have a sister. I asked her to put me on the phone with my husband and she asked who I was. I said that I was his wife and she laughed into the phone and told me he was busy. We went back and forth with her laughing at me the whole time before telling her that she'll send him home soon and hanging up. It's now the next morning and he's still not home. I really didn't think that he was cheating. I had really hoped that this was just a rough

patch, but it looks like most of you were right. I'm heartbroken and a little in shock, and not really sure what to do right now. My brother said that I should come stay with him, and I might, or maybe just bring the kids so they don't have to see us fight. Then OP posted another update. He came home a few hours after my last update. I immediately confronted him about the woman answering. He denied cheating and said that it was one of his friends messing with me because he stated a friend's house and they must have answered his phone. I told him I don't believe him and to pack some things and leave because I want a divorce. He blew up at this telling me that it was his home. When in reality my parents bought us this home when we got married and that he was not going to leave.

We argued for a while until I called my brother. My brother lives about 20 minutes away so he got to the house very quick and once he got there my husband calmed down and packed a bag. Once he was gone my brother helped me contact a divorce lawyer. My brother and his wife check in with us every day. We're all safe, and I've had very minimal contact with my now ex-husband. I probably won't update again. As soon as I got to the part where you said that your husband had been coming home from work later than usual, I knew this post was going downhill.

Sorry it ended that way OP. Good luck to you and your kids. I give you 0 out of 5 bad guys. I'm giving your husband 4 out of 5 bad guys. Am I the bad guy for announcing my pregnancy at my sister's wedding? I'm 32, my sister is 28 and we've always been incredibly close. Case in point, she was the first person I told that I was pregnant, besides my husband, of course. I told her essentially a week after I got a positive

pregnancy test, which was about three months before her wedding. I told her that I was going to tell our parents and my husband's parents around the 10-week mark, but she told me that I should hold off until they're wedding in September. I'd be like four months along at that point, so I wouldn't really be showing. She thought that it would be so special for her to be able to make an announcement about a special guest at her wedding, and for it to be her first niece or nephew. And my parents first grandbaby. I agreed because it seemed like it meant a lot to her, and again, we're super close, and I was happy to do that for her. Turns

out, the first trimester was awful with morning sickness and exhaustion. I would have preferred to be able to talk about it with my mom, but I was willing to grin and bear it for my sister's wedding. Well, the wedding came along, and about halfway through the night, I asked her when the announcement was happening. She told me that she changed her mind and that her wedding didn't seem like a good time or place to announce my pregnancy. I was obviously super upset since I went through a really awful first trimester with only my sister and husband to lean on. I decided that I wasn't going to put the announcement on hold any longer just for her, so my husband and I pulled my parents aside and quietly told them, and I told them to keep it private for the evening. They were thrilled, lots of hugs,

a few tears, but it was a very touching and private moment. Literally no one else found out until I announced it on Facebook a week later. My sister found out around the same time as my Facebook post when my dad mentioned how we told him about it. And she texted me and called me a B word who made her wedding about myself, and she hasn't spoken to me since. I've messaged her and apologized probably a dozen times since then, but she refuses to talk to me. And now she refuses to come see her little nephew who is almost a month old at this point. My parents and partner think that I did nothing wrong since she went back on her word, and I should just wait it out and she'll come around. I'm obviously unsure as clearly this

has made her so upset with me, and we were so close before. Am I the bad guy? Okay, so I don't really know exactly what's going through the sister's head here But my take on this is that your sister basically played a trick on you OP I think what she was doing is she didn't want the excitement about the pregnancy to eclipse the excitement about her wedding So she lied to you and convinced you to not make an announcement, even though she never had the intention of making the announcement at her wedding. I think she just wanted the entire three months leading up to the wedding to be entirely about her and 0% about you. And like, yeah, that's a dirty trick, for sure. I think you probably could have waited until the next day to tell your

parents I do understand your frustration for sure. I don't know, I probably would have waited till the next day if it were me. I'm not saying what she did was wrong, necessarily, I just think that despite the fact that you were wrong, you probably should have taken the high road and just waited a little bit longer. I'm going to give you zero out of five bad guys, OP. And if I'm right about the sister, I'm giving her 1.5 out of five bad guys. Even if she did have pure intentions, then I think she's overreacting just a little, because it's not like you'd grab the microphone and announce it to the entire wedding. You just told your parents. Am I the bad guy for going off on my wife or commenting about our three-week-old daughter's

looks? My daughter, our second child, is three weeks old. Pre-pregnancy, my wife was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder and depression, and in the days since birthing our baby girl is most definitely experiencing postpartum depression. Our first child, our son, looks very much like her. In fact, if you look at baby photos of my wife, they look almost exactly like our son's baby photos. And my wife is a looker, so my son is damn cute. Thank you very much. Our daughter got a bit more of my side's gene pool.

Her hairline kind of has a widow's peak, which I've had since I was a baby. Her lips are relatively thin like me. Her nose is a little larger than our sons was. I have a middle eastern classic hook nose. Nearly every day in my daughter's 21 days on this earth, my wife has made a comment to my baby girl about how she's so sad that she got daddy's features. Some of the things that my wife has said to my baby girl include, don't worry, I'll get you a nose job as soon as you're old

enough. I wish you'd gotten more of my features. My family is beautiful and all the women are timeless. Your dad's family, not so much. Your brother has the beautiful, pouty lips, and you got stuck with those pencil lips. Oh, it's really tough being a girl. Up until yesterday, I was taking a softer approach with comments like, okay, be nice, and okay, chillax. But today I had enough and just snapped and yelled at her for like 5 minutes straight and

I cursed quite a bit too. The gist of my statements were, I don't care if she can't understand what you're saying, stop putting that stuff into the universe. My son can't understand you, so stop this garbage. I can understand you, so stop putting this garbage in my head and making me listen to it. Yeah, life on girls is tough in this world, especially with their mom dumping all over their appearance. She's at being three weeks old and is still perfect and noble and hasn't heard a soul, so stop projecting onto her. You regularly tell me how your mom messed up your psyche

with all the comments about your appearance, so why the ever are you doing the same to a baby girl? Okay, it looks like you forgot one point, so I'm gonna add it in here, and that's that every single time your wife criticizes your daughter's looks by comparing them to you, she's basically saying that you're ugly too. Anyways, she was understandably hurt by my comments and we haven't really talked about

it or debrief since. I recognize that part of her comments stem from her anxiety, depression, as well as her postpartum depression. And I also recognize that a lot of the stems from her mom's influence on her. I also recognize that yelling and berating people is rarely the right thing. So am I the bad guy here? Okay, I'm generally not in support of yelling at your wife, but something had to change. This was beyond the point of just like, yeah, I don't really know what's going on here,

but this is not just postpartum depression. She's telling a three week old baby she's so ugly that she needs plastic surgery, like what? It sounds to me like your wife is gearing up for a lifetime of abuse for your baby. I don't know. Maybe it is postpartum, but whatever the case, your wife needs help like professional help. And if your wife thinks you're so ugly, why did she marry you? Oh my god, you look just like your father. Ugh, I can't even look at you disgusting.

Girl, you married the guy. Am I the bad guy for refusing to honor my boyfriend's family tradition? My boyfriend, Eric, is 29 and I'm 27. We've been dating for three years. For context, I've met his family and their friendly. We don't meet them very often because they live in my boyfriend's home country. I don't want to reveal the country's names either for privacy reasons, but my boyfriend and I are of different nationalities and we both work in my country.

The conflict happened during our last visit last weekend. We had been looking up houses to move in together and engagement rings. While we were having dinner, we mentioned this to his family because it's a big step in the relationship for us. For clarity, we're not engaged yet. His parents and brothers express their happiness for us, and then, out of nowhere, his youngest sister-in-law asked, so, is she going to take the test? I asked, what test? And summary, my boyfriend's family has this tradition where the future mother-in-law tests

the future daughters-in-law tests the future daughters-in-law to see if they're good enough for her sons. Apparently, his mother and aunts went through the same test. The test includes how clean they can keep a home, how well they can cook, their manners, etc. Basically, just life skills that most people learn from childhood. I found this ridiculous because, one, if I'm good enough for my boyfriend, he should be the one deciding it.

And two, I don't fit into their targeted category. And his mom's words, you can't be a good stay-at-home wife and stay-at-home mom if you can't be a good homemaker. And she wants to test me for that. To be clear, his mom and all three of his brothers' wives are stay- home moms, and although I respect their choice, I'm not quitting my career, and I did not under

any circumstances make my boyfriend think that I would compromise on that. I hate house chores, and I would rather buy home-making gadgets and higher staff no matter the cost than do the chores myself. I told my boyfriend's mom all of this, and it caused an argument that eventually Ru and dinner and inextension are visits. My boyfriend doesn't care whether I'm a working wife or a stay-at-home wife, but he thinks that I should have just done the test because it's just a test, and it's not like they would reject me if I failed. He thinks it's a fun tradition that everyone was looking forward to, and I should have

just gone along with it anyways. My boyfriend thinks that I'm the bad guy, and suggested I make this post. If I really am the bad guy, I'm sure you guys will let me know, so am I? Alright, here it is, the very top post I knew someone was going to write this, I knew it because it's so obvious. The top post from Miss Trixie reads, He thinks it's a fun tradition for women marrying into the family to be judged on their skills and traditional old-fashioned gender-conforming roles.

Fine, let him take a test. Can he rotate the tires, change the oil, and maybe rework the transmission on a car? Install a new muffler while he's at it. Then he can perform a series of tests of lifting heavy objects. How are his plumbing skills? He's going to need to know how to fix a leaky faucet. Your father and brothers and male friends can judge him on his manliness and decide if he's prepared to be a proper husband. He might also need to prove that he makes enough money to support you for when you have to stay home and perform all your wifely duties. What an obnoxious family, not the bad guy.

I agree, OP, you get 0 out of 5 bad guys. I'm giving your boyfriend and his family 1.5 out of 5 bad guys. That was our Slash of My The A, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. That was our Slash of Myda and if you liked this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day