rSlash - r/AITA for Not Giving My Sister My House?

Episode Date: July 23, 2023

0:00 Intro 0:07 Weird in-law rules 4:22 Pay me 7:08 Entitlement 101 9:45 Get out 12:22 Birthday foul Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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or visit connectsontario.c. Please play responsibly. Welcome to R-Slash, am I the butthole where OPS to kick her entire husband side of the family out of her wedding? Am I the butthole for kicking the majority of my husband's family out of our wedding when they celebrated their traditions,

but violated many of my personal rules and boundaries. I'm a 27 year old woman and I got married to my husband, who's 30 this January. However, the wedding was an absolute mess. For context, my husband, Ben, has a very close-knit family that doesn't take well to outsiders, surprises, or change. Most family reunions and gatherings don't allow plus ones or spouses just immediate family. What? Ben has two brothers and one sister. Each of my in-laws have wives slash husbands, but they're still not allowed to come to the majority of family events, so it's fortunately

not just me. Even though I cannot attend most events with his family, I still have a somewhat decent relationship with them. Before the wedding, I've never had a major issue with them, but they've always been distant from me, and I don't really mind. Now let's talk about the wedding. The wedding was planned for New Year's Day, since that was the day we met, the day Ben asked me to be his girlfriend, the day he proposed, so that holiday has always been very special to us. Everyone agreed that New Year's Day was the perfect day for a wedding, so there were no issues there. Unfortunately, we did have a problem with other things. Ben's family

has a lot of odd traditions that they do, and over the years I've put up with a lot of them, and even embraced them. These traditions include having homemade sheep cake rather than a professional wedding cake, wearing all white and having all the children walk up the aisle to toss flowers rather than having one designated flower-girl or flower boy. However, I wanted my wedding day to be good for the both of us, so we made some compromises. We could have the homemade sheet cake, but we both had to agree on the flavor and the design. Anyone could wear what they wanted,

besides white, and there would be no kids at the wedding. My husband suggested that last rule, not me. We talked to both of our families and everyone agreed that these rules and boundaries were fine. Or so we thought. The day of the wedding came and my side of the family was dressed appropriately. No kids were present, everything was going great. Then Ben's family came. There were lots of kids and babies and everyone was wearing all white.

Apparently, their traditions were more important than what I had to say. Only three people actually respected the rules that my fiance and I said in place. These people were the spouses of bin siblings. Bin and I were mortified. We immediately kicked them out and allowed the three people who followed the rules to stay, but they left with their partners, which we didn't mind. The wedding went on as normal, but I felt ruined. We ended up canceling the post-wedding celebration after some of his family members snuck inside. Yo, what? After we came back from our honeymoon, we were both berated by his family members and

basically shunned from his family. I feel guilty for not allowing them to practice their traditions. Am I the butthole? Yo, okay. Shun from the family? What changed? Exactly what changed? You can't hang out with us. You're shunned.

Okay, I couldn't hang out with you anyways. Well, what does that even mean? You're shunned? I was never allowed in in the first place. You always people are weird, they're goofballs. Oh man, I- The fact that the in-laws ban OP and all outsiders from ever coming into the family makes me think that something fishy is going on. Like, they're occult or they have a secret meth lab in the basement or Uncle John is secretly m-

f-ing all the kids or something weird or illegal or unethical, I don't know. And it's just, it's just so weird to literally not allow anyone outside of the family that I think something illegal has to be going on. Does anyone else think that or am I just super jaded? Anyways OP, you get a super easy zero out of five but holes. You're wetting your rules. I'm giving your in laws. Um, I'll say two out of five buttholes. You're wedding, you're rules. I'm giving your inlaws,

um, I'll say two out of five buttholes, but also a five out of five weirdo score. Am I the butthole for not helping my family's restaurant because my brother was being paid, but I wasn't? So I'm a 17 year old girl, and recently my parents came into a fair bit of money. They got inheritance from one of my mom's elderly relatives, I think, and they decided to buy out a local ice cream shop that was going out of business. They love that place because it's where they met and it has tons of sentimental meaning for them. They also hired my 18 year old brother to work there because they want him to have job experience before going off to college. They didn't offer to hire me and I didn't ask because I already have a fast food job.

Anyways my house is pretty close to the shop and my friends and I decided to meet up there yesterday for ice cream and to hang out. For reference, me and my friends are a group of 4 high schoolers. It was pretty busy so we got in line. After about a minute my brother came out of the back and waved me over. He handed me an apron and asked me to help out his coworker in the back because they had to clean the machine's ASA, but my brother had to open a second register because of how busy it was.

I refused on the grounds that I wasn't being paid, and he said that I had to help out because it's the family business and because of how swamp this place was and how panicked his coworker was. He even offered to let my friends skip the line if I helped out for 10 minutes to give his coworker a hand. And he said that I owed it to him to help him because you brought such a big group in. I decided that if I did what he said, it would cause a scene in a packed shop and I refused again. He huffed, waved me off, and then went to open a second register.

I went back to my friends and the rest of our meetup went well, but my brother kept giving me dirty looks until we got our cones and left. Later that night, my parents confronted me and said that what I did was petty. They told me to work a shift the next day to make up for it, but backed off once I reminded them that I have an actual job that I was scheduled to work pretty much all the next day. I ended up getting off scot free. However, my whole family maintains that I'm petty and lazy. And now I'm wondering if they're right. So, am I the butthole? Opie, just out of curiosity. When your family comes to visit you

at your fast food restaurant job, do they offer to come to the back and help you out? Do they come help you make burgers? Do they cook the French fries? Do they talk to people at the drive-through register? No, I'm guessing they don't. So how come you have to help them, but they don't have to help you?

I'm 100% on your side, Opie. If they want you to help come you have to help them, but they don't have to help you? I'm 100% on your side OP. If they want you to help, they have to pay. It's just super, super simple. No pay means no work. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your brother and your parents 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for not letting my sister use the family property for her upcoming wedding? I'm 25 and my sister is 29. I also have a younger sister who's 8. When I was 14, my mom sent me to live with her parents. Her excuse was that they needed me to help out.

I believe that she just didn't want to deal with her growing male teen. My grandparents owned an amazing property in the mountains that has an amazing view. We also have some horses and other critters. My grandparents were also quite wealthy as well. My grandparents both passed away four years ago one month apart. They left me the property because they thought that I would appreciate it and respect it more, while my mom and sisters got money and other assets which overall was valued more than the property. Over the past four years, I turned part of the property into a wedding venue. We're super busy and usually

booked eight months out. My sister got engaged one and a half years ago and she said that she wanted to get married at this property. I said, sure, just let me know the date as soon as possible so I can make sure to set that time aside. But I never got a date. I followed up several times and kept asking her and she would just brush me off. Two weeks ago I received a wedding invitation from her which stated my property as a location and the date. The date is for September of this year. I immediately called my sister to say that we booked for that date and I can't accommodate

her. Well now my sister, my mom, other family, her partners family, as well as other flying monkeys have been blowing up on me. They've also been calling me and writing reviews about my business. I asked them to stop and I called my sister telling her that literally all she had to do was tell me a time so I could set it aside and I would take care of everything else. She went off on me about how I was ruining her day, that it's our family's property, how she already sent out the invitations and couldn't go back now. She said that I should tell the other couple to just cancel.

The other couple has been on the books for over a year now, and I actually like them. She said that family is more important. After the last big blow up, I started communicating strictly through the business, using a recorded line as well as email. I suggested three other dates around the same time, but that's still not good enough. She says that I'm being resentful and a butthole. OPs, sounds like your sister is just as toxic as your mother. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes.

I'm giving the rest of your family with the exception of your grandparents three out of five buttholes. Eastside Mario's all you can eat. Is all you can munch a soup? Sell it. And gollic homo. Come on, me! Get out of the way! Your business has grown fast.

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And am I the butthole for screaming at my husband and his sister to get out of my kitchen? My husband's sister, who's 38, lives with us and our kids. I am beyond fed up with her being here because of food issues. That's the only reason. So basically, every single time that I make food, his sister will come in and doctor up the food that I'm making to her liking. Like, I made steak and shrimp the other day, kind of like apple bees. And she waited until I left the room to put a full stick of butter into my shrimp. That was already done. And when I came back in, she goes, I'm pretty sure that's the taste that you were looking

for. And she completely ruined it. It was trash. Or whenever I make spaghetti, she'll start dumping sugar into the sauce to a point of sweet spaghetti that me and my kids outright refuse to touch because it's nasty. Every single time that she can get away with it, she's done something to the food. Anyways, my husband started doing the same thing. I went to make some homemade macaroni last night and cheeseburgers. I went to the basement to the chest, freeze it or grab some veggies, and when I came back upstairs, my husband was putting canned

chicken in the mac and cheese. He knows the kids absolutely hate the taste of that. Also, his sister was pushing blocks of blue cheese into the partially cooked burgers. I asked them what the eff they thought they were doing because I've told them so many times to stop messing with the food, and neither one of them had a good excuse other than we were just helping. I flipped out and told them to get the F out of my kitchen. Both of them told me that I was overreacting. The thing is, I've openly asked my sister in law to cook several times, and she won't. But she won't stop messing with the food that I'm making. My husband cooks often, and I don't care if he messes up the food that he makes, but it royally pisses me off when my cooking is messed with

and he knows that. Am I the butthole? This whole post reading this I was thinking, why doesn't your sister-in-law cook? And then, okay, we find out the reason she just won't. She's lazy and picky. What an awful combination. Opie, I think there's a really simple way to fix this. Every time your husband or your sister in law messes up the food, just set that food aside, let them eat it.

Then, take your husband's credit card and take the rest of the family out to dinner. Good news, kids. Your dad and your aunt ruined dinner, so the rest of us are going to Applebees. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes, and I'm giving your husband and sister-in-law one out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for refusing to pay for my boyfriend's food in his birthday and getting him banned from a restaurant?

I'm an 18-year-old woman who's been dating my boyfriend, John, who's 20 for a little under a year. We have a pretty toxic free relationship, but there's quite a bit of tension when it comes to me being a vegetarian. I've been vegetarian since I was 11, and I have very strict morals around it. The one thing John has a problem with is me refusing to spend my money on meat. Ever since I started making my own money, I swore to myself that I would never spend a cent my money on meat. Ever since I started making my own money, I swore to myself that I would never spend a cent of it on meat. On our dates, we usually split the bill, and sometimes he pays for the whole thing. I told him that if he orders

something meat-free, I'd happily pay for both of us, but he never does. When he pays for food, it's usually because I spent money on the activity, like concerts and festivals. So I'd spend like 120 euros on tickets and he'd spend like 50 euros on food. His birthday was a few days ago and we went out for dinner at his favorite fancy restaurant. He got the most expensive steak they had, along with a side salad and a bottle of wine. When we finished our food, I asked the waiter to split the bill, and John looked at me shocked. He asked if I was joking, and I said no. Then he told me that he thought that I was going to pay since it was his birthday, and he didn't budget

for the meal. I asked him why he thought that I'd pay, since I've been very clear about my rule, but he couldn't give me a reason other than it being his birthday. I told him that I'd pay for the wine in the salad, but he'd need to pay for the steak. He was furious with me and stormed off to the bathroom. I paid for my meal, the wine, and the salad, and I waited for him to come back, but he didn't. After waiting for 20 minutes, I left.

I found him sitting on a bench near to where he parked the car. I asked him why he left and I reminded him that he had to pay. He looked shocked when I said that and asked me if I didn't pay. I told him that I'd paid for everything but the meat and he lost it. He started yelling at me, telling me I was selfish and that I had to grow up. I stayed calm and told him that he had to go back and pay. He scoffed and walked away. I ended up driving home without him. Now he's saying that it's my fault that he can't show his face in his favorite restaurant

since he dined and ditched. It's a pretty small restaurant, so he would 100% be recognized and kicked out. So am I the butthole? Opie, you're pretty young, you're 18, so clearly you don't have a lot of experience with relationships, but this isn't about a stake, are you being vegetarian? This is simply about boundaries.

You've established very clear boundaries with your boyfriend, and your boyfriend just doesn't respect those boundaries. Basically, what he's saying is, babe, I know that you have really strict moral boundaries, but it's my birthday. Come on, babe, set your morals aside for just one day. And yes, if it's someone's birthday,

they deserve special treatment. But not to the point that you abandoned your morals. And if he actually cared about you, if he actually loved you, then he wouldn't want you to abandon his morals. Also, what's so bad about this is once it was super clear that you weren't gonna pay, he's just like, okay, well then I guess no one's gonna pay. The solution to that problem is to go pay for your stake, dude.

At that point, when he just scoffed and walked away, that becomes theft at that point. Opie, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. You should seriously consider breaking up with him because this is a guy who just deep down doesn't really respect your opinion. I'm giving your boyfriend 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.