rSlash - r/AITA for Refusing to Buy My In-Laws a House?

Episode Date: February 12, 2026

0:00 Intro 0:06 Honesty 2:36 Cheater 5:37 Finances 8:34 Elevator talk 10:54 Gender reveal Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Visit medcan.com slash moments to get started. Welcome to R slash Am I the Butthole, where OP gives an annoying frat boy a taste of his own medicine. Am I the butthole for showing my coworker what just being honest can be like? I'm a 26-year-old woman, and I started working at my job six months ago, and I immediately realized it was a horrible work environment. The men act like they're still in a frat house or something. There's one in specific that's like their evil leader. Let's call him Jake. He's 30-ish.

He says he's just honest, and he talks about. talks about free speech and how he just says the first thing that comes to his mind. He's just disrespectful and a bad person as far as I'm concerned. I started looking for a new job three months ago, but haven't had any luck with the same pay, so I'm still here. As I said, he's cruel and mean with everyone, especially the women and a couple of guys who aren't alpha enough. Anyway, I decided to give him the same treatment he gave everyone else after he told a pregnant

coworker that he can't understand how her husband didn't cheat on her yet because she's a cow now. I started working about three weeks ago, and he came to talk to me and told me, I'm basically a dude because I don't have enough boobs. And I said, Jake, are you balding? Or has your forehead always been this inhumanly big? And so on. But yesterday, we were talking with a few co-workers about how I cooked for New Year's because I tend to go overboard, and they were impressed with my dinner. Jake came over and started saying nonsense, throwing insult. So I said, See, this is exactly why your daddy left you, and I continued with my conversation. Well, Jake talked to HR, and I have an appointment to talk to them on Thursday.

However, my coworkers decided they would support me, and they decided to file complaints against Jake now and document his behavior. Apparently, they already did, but HR just gave him a slap on the wrist, and they're angry now because they want to talk to me so fast. I'm not particularly scared about the appointment, but I wonder if I went a little too far. Yeah, he started it, but I don't tend to lower myself to bully's levels, but I really didn't see any other way when HR never did anything about the complaints. I don't really want to apologize to him, but I'll do it if I crossed a line, because as I said, I worked hard in therapy to be a decent human. And maybe this wasn't the best way to handle all this. Honestly, Opie, I wouldn't worry about HR, because if they give you flack, that's just ammunition. Because if they punish you for responding to Jake, when Jake got no consequences,

for criticizing you, then they're really setting themselves up for a lawsuit. O.P., you get zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving Jake 1.5 out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for asking my dad why I should reward his cheating and breaking up our family when he told me I shouldn't punish him for being happy? A couple of years ago, my dad told my mom he wanted a divorce and went to be with his high school crush. It was a total surprise to mom. me, a 19 year old guy, and my siblings, 15 and 13 year old girls and a 10 year old boy. Dad said that he never cheated, but when he reconnected with this woman, all the feelings he had before came back, and he wanted his chance with her since she was the one that he missed out on back

then. He even admitted that he never got over her, and always knew he'd leave if he got his chance with her. I've wanted nothing to do with him since, and my siblings feel similarly, only they get no choice since he has equal custody as mom. They make life awful for him and his girlfriend, though, and all three hope he stops making them socialize with them soon. Since he left, Mom, he's tried hanging out with me too. He invited me for family dinners and tried to set up a time for me to meet his girlfriend and for us to figure out a way forward. The only time I responded was to that last part, and I told him the only way forward was no contact. The only time I've seen Dad in the last two years was at Mom's house for my brother's 10th birthday.

He got there early so he could talk to me. He told me he thought it was time I stopped punishing him, and that I shouldn't punish him in the first place when he did something to make himself happy, and it had no impact on me. I asked him how he figured that when he broke up our family and cheated. I said it was still emotional cheating when he was ready to leave mom if that woman snapped her fingers.

My dad emphasized the fact that he never cheated, and he told me it had nothing to do with me anyways. I told him it has everything to do with me, when it changed my family and interrupted my life. I asked him why I should reward those things and why I'd want his kind of influence in my life. I told him I didn't give an F about his happiness or that woman he's with,

and he was out of luck if he thinks he'll ever get my seal of approval or get me to spend time with him and her. Dad said that my mindset was all wrong, and us having a relationship doesn't reward him. It's good for me, and it could add another woman in my life who would be supportive and compassionate it when I need it. He said that it's what me and my siblings miss out on by rejecting his girlfriend

and future wife. He also called me a butthole for framing things in the worst possible light, and for even thinking about this as rewarding versus not rewarding. I had to walk away because he was ready to keep that going, and I didn't want to spill this into my brother's party. Am I the butthole? Man, in all that, I didn't see a single apology. No, hey, I'm sorry for cheating on your mom. Hey, I'm sorry for breaking up the family. Hey, I'm sorry for abandoning you. It's all just, what's your problem, dude? Why can't you be happy for me and my choices? Man, whatever, go f yourself, dude. O.P., I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. Your crummy dad gets 3.5 out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for refusing to pay off my pregnant fiance's parents' mortgage when they're under the threat of foreclosure, when I could

easily afford to do so? I'm a 31-year-old guy, and my fiancee is 26. We met about two years ago. We have a baby on the way. The due date is in May. I also have a 10-year-old son from a previous relationship. I'm a professional musician. My band has a sizable local slash regional following. I also privately teach different instruments to mostly children and do music production for some significantly bigger musicians and bands. About three weeks ago, my fiancé got a call from her mother. My fiance is the oldest of three, and her younger siblings are in college. My mom informed her that they received a letter that the acceleration cause was being invoked on their mortgage due to months of non-payments, and that if they don't pay it off by late February, the house would be foreclosed

on. The house had belonged to my fiancé's grandmother before it was inherited by my fiance's parents about 15 years ago when her grandmother died. The house was paid off, but they took out a mortgage on it because they needed the money. My fiancés lived in that house since she was two years old. My fiancés asked me to use my savings to pay off the house. It would cost me about 15% of my savings to do so. I have a sizable amount of savings. Despite my parents not wanting me to go into music or at least wait until I graduated college, I went into the music industry full time from the time I graduated high school. It has largely worked out for me. But knowing the ebbs and flows of the industry, and especially with having a kid so young, I've been very vigilant about savings. Having a substantial

savings account is important to me given my kids, because I want to be able to pay for college and help them buy a house. Also, you never know when times are going to be lean as a musician. This is why I'm hesitant to want to pay off their mortgage. Additionally, I'm concerned about setting the precedent that I bail out family. My fiancee is quite upset about the whole situation. She says that we would not be hurting at all if I pay it off, and I have no reason to think that I will not continue to make the amount of money I have made in the last couple of years. If anything, there's a good chance it'll go up. She sees it as I could easily pay it, but I'm refusing to do so. I see it as protecting our long-term financial stability. If a foreclosure happens, her parents would

get the equity they have in the house and be able to afford a different place. While I know that she's emotionally attached to that particular house, I don't think it's wise to sacrifice our financial stability for that reason alone. Her parents need to be in a place they can afford. Am I the butthole? You know, the parents did have a paid off house that they could have lived in indefinitely, but they decided to take out a mortgage and then lost all the money. So if you give them the money, it's not really about saving the house, it's about just giving them free money. Also, O.P., if you decide to go through with this marriage, you should really consider a pre-up. Am I the butthole for telling a woman to keep her comments to herself in an elevator?

I was waiting for the elevator in my office building. The door opened, no one was directly in front of me, so I stepped in. A woman and an elderly couple were just behind me, but I hadn't seen or heard them until after I got on. As soon as I stepped in, the woman complained out loud that I didn't let her on first. I was caught off guard, but I apologized and said there was plenty of room for everyone, so it wasn't a big deal. I wasn't trying to cut anyone off.

I genuinely didn't notice anyone behind me. She got on with the couple, but kept going, saying how rude I was, how I had no manners, how people like me are what's wrong these days, stuff like that. This went on for at least a minute, maybe more, and eventually I snapped a bit. I raised my voice and said, Could you just keep your comments to yourself? She went quiet, but the old couple sort of whispered something to her and gave me a look. Now I'm wondering if I had just confirmed whatever idea they had about me.

Like, maybe I actually was the jerk here. I honestly didn't mean to offend anyone. I just wanted to ride the elevator in peace. Down in the comments, we have this story from downtown cat. I was once on a crowded bus with groceries on my lap. I was only a couple of blocks from my home, and an elderly woman got on and asked me to give up my seat. I said that between the crowding and my shopping bags, I physically couldn't get out of my seat and step aside to give her enough room so that she could take my place, but that I was about to get off the buzz, and she could have my seat then.

She informed me that when I die, I'd be going to hell for my actions on that day. Entitled rude young people grow up to be entitled rude, old people. Don't sweat it. And then this story from Middle Egg. I still remember an old man behind me at the grocery store. We were in the 15 items or less line. I had close to the limit, but not over. This old guy picked up his items and walked in front of me and said, I'm going next and glared at me. I was like 19. and didn't expect this confrontation because my grandparents and other older people had always been kind or decent or normal to me. The cashier looked at me and asked if it was okay. I said, no, it's not. LMFAO and the old man had to get back behind me.

Am I the butthole for pointing out that my wife acted similar after my sister-in-law's gender reveal? So my wife's sister is pregnant. She had a gender reveal last Saturday. This is her second baby. The second baby's a boy, the first is a girl. My sister-in-law was kind of disappointed, or surprised, I guess, about having a boy, but I wouldn't say mad. My wife only has sisters, so my sister-in-law probably didn't imagine herself raising a boy. So anyways, right on the ride back home, my wife was talking about how it was weird that her sister was so visibly disappointed when the blue came out. But like, she acted the same. My wife got over it after like a day or a week.

But she still was. We have two daughters, and she was hoping for a boy and a girl. She was like, we're not talking about me, though. And I said, just pointing it out. And she responded, you always do that, though. I kind of just admired the air for the rest of the car ride. I see a couple of everyone sucks here comments. People are saying that OP deserves a butthole score because the wife says,

you always do that though, implying that O.P. often throws things back in the wife's face. But we don't have any evidence that that's the case. It could also be the case that the wife just tries to deflect and be defensive and throw things back in OP's face and never takes criticism. So evaluating this post just on what's written, I'm giving OP 0 out of 5 buttholes. Your wife gets 0.5 out of 5 buttholes for being a hypocrite. That was R.S. Am I the Butthole? And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.