rSlash - r/AITA for Refusing to Pay for Someone's Vacation?

Episode Date: May 8, 2023

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This holiday season, let's swish Shalai to the cooking so you can enjoy spending time with those you love. Their iconic festive special includes the famous quarter chicken dinner. Now with cranberry sauce, stuffing, lindor chocolates, plus a scratch and wind card, where everyone's a winner. Grab your loved ones and hurry to swish Shalai today. Visit swishshalai.ca for contest details, well supplies last. 2 year old man, and my family is planning a vacation for this summer. The people who are going are both my parents, my older brother and my sister-in-law, my younger sister Camilla who's 22, and my husband and my two kids, a 10 year old girl and an 8 year

old boy. We're planning to stay in a resort for 2 weeks. This will obviously be a bit expensive. At least $2,000 per person, and this is an enormous amount of money in my currency. My sister Camilla is in her last semester of university and will start a full-time job in August. Right now she's not working and she lives with my parents. I'm not passing judgment on her for being unemployed because my brother and I went through

the same thing at her age. Camilla called me last week to ask if we could pay for her ticket and accommodations. My parents would pay for food and activities. My husband and I can comfortably afford our family, but adding Camilla would put financial pressure on us. I told her that I would discuss it with my husband and then I'd call her. So my husband and I agreed that we'd be willing to pay for her if she would babysit our kids on certain occasions. Of course, not every day and not without notice, but at least twice a week for two hours for two months. She would basically replace our current babysitter.

Anyway, I texted her basically saying what I just wrote and she replied absolutely not. So I called her to ask why she was so against this arrangement, which I think benefits both of us. She gets to go on vacation, and we get a babysitter we trust, and we don't have to spend more on our monthly budgets. Camilla said that we're manipulating her into doing unpaid labor for us, and forcing her to say yes because neither our parents or brother could afford to pay for her.

She also said that she was busy with her last semester of university and finals. I told her that she could do all of her schoolwork in our house. My children are very well behaved and need very little supervision. But she still said that she wouldn't do it. So I then told her that I was very sorry, but if she didn't accept, then we couldn't pay for her to go on the vacation. So now, she's incredibly mad at me.

But now my mom is also angry with me because she wants to have a family vacation and she knows my husband and I do have the money to pay for Camilla. And family helps family. Which I agree with, but I believe that help must be reciprocated. And right now Camilla is not reciprocating that help. My brother and dad just want to stay out of this. They're not taking sides. Yo, what is your sister talking about?

Unpaid labor? Unpaid? It's a $2,000 vacation. $2,000 for one month of babysitting? Two hours twice a week is four hours per week. For two months, that's over eight months. So four times eight is 32 hours. $2,000 divided by 32 hours comes out to 62 bucks an hour. That's what she's making babysitting. This is the deal of a century, man. And even if she wants to make the argument like,

oh, I can't do it because of university, well then the logical thing to do would be to say, okay, well if you can't babysit this month, then we'll just postpone it to the next two months, right? Because then she'll be graduated and then she can go back to babysitting and she can just pay the debt off then. But no, she's being entitled and whiny.

Opie, I think you offer a super reasonable. If anything, it's generous. I don't know what the going rate for babysitters is, but it's not $62. Opie, you get zero out of five bad guys. You're being a very generous and reasonable brother. Your sister gets two out of five bad guys for being mega-entitled.

I'm also giving your mom one out of five bad guys for being a hypocrite. If she thinks that family helps family, then apply that same rule to the daughter, right? Am I the bad guy for embarrassing my husband in front of his friends? I'm a 26 year old woman and I'm married to Kevin who's 25. I met him a few years back when my best friend and his best friends started dating. After that, our friend groups kind of just joined together. So all of my husband's friends are also my friends and all of my friends are his friends.

I've known my best friend Amy for 15 years. We've always been extremely close and even lived together at one point. She's literally part of my family. She comes to all my family events, my siblings refer to her as their sister, and she just has been extremely involved in my life for years. Now, me and my husband have a six-month-old daughter. My dad is extremely wealthy, so he helps us out financially until my daughter is old

enough to go to school. Then, I'll take a job at his company that pays well. My husband has a job that he works from 7 a.m. to 4 p.m. and then afterwards him and his friends often hang out at my house or at one of their houses. Here's the problem. My husband's best friend cheated on my best friend a few weeks ago. Amy is completely heartbroken and since they lived together, my husband and I agreed that it's okay that she stays with us until they work things out. She's not really up to seeing him again just yet. Amy is a huge help with the baby.

She's so good with her and the baby loves her. When my husband and his friends get home, they normally hang out until 8 pm, so he doesn't help with the baby too much when he gets home. Which I don't mind, but it would just be nice to have a little help from him. Yesterday night, my husband opened the front door, peaked his head in, looked right at me and Amy, rolled his eyes and walked out. Him and his friends came in a few moments later and were all being cold and rude to Amy all evening. After an hour or two, my husband walks right up to me and Amy and says,

does she always have to be here? I want to bring my best friend here tonight. He rolled his eyes. I responded, if I want to bring my best friend into the house that my dad paid for, I can. And if I can choose to have somebody help me with the baby that you're not looking after, it's going to be her. His friends just sat there silently and he just walked away and sat back down. Now he's giving me the silent treatment. Since then, Amy left and is staying with her mom because she says that she feels uncomfortable being in the house now.

So am I the bad guy? Metrolinx and crosslin links are reminding everyone to be careful as Eglinton Cross Town LRT train testing is in progress. Please be alert, this trains can pass at any time on the tracks. Remember to follow all traffic signals. Be careful along our tracks and only make left turns where it's safe to do so. Be alert, be aware, and stay safe. East Side Mario's all you can eat.

Is all you can munch a soup, sell it. And gollic homo. Oh my god, me! I'm gonna move out of here! Uh, Opie. So I started giving commentary on this pose, and it got so long, and I got so lost because there's so much wrong with this guy.

He's just like a walking parade of red flags. So I actually had to pull up a document just so I could keep track of this guy's huge list of red flags. I literally have to just go through these like bullet points because otherwise it would be like a 30 minute commentary. 1. Taking the side of a person who cheated rather than the person who got cheated on. 2.

Going back on his promise to host your friend. 3. Thinking that he has dominion over you and your dad's house. 4. Not Helping With The Baby. 5. The fact that Amy is more of a parent than he is. 6.

The fact that he spends all of his time with his friends instead of you and or the baby. Also, like a quick sub point that I have to point out to people who don't have kids, 8 p.m. is more or less when you would put a baby to bed. So what I think this guy is doing is intentionally leaving the house and spending time with his friends

during every hour that the baby's awake. Then, only after O-P's done all the hard work and put the baby's awake. Then, only after OP's done all the hard work and put the baby to sleep, then he comes home. God, I'm losing track. What number are we on? Seven, I think? Seven. Punishing you for not catering to him. Eight, trying to publicly shame you in front of your friends and his friends instead of talking about the issue privately. Literally, OP, besides adding sperm into the equation, what exactly does this guy contribute to the relationship?

Not money because your dad's paying for everything. Not a house because it's your dad's house, not love and affection because he's literally not there to show you love and affection. And when he is around, he's a jerk to you, not care or help because Amy's giving all the care and help. Like, what do they, what do what do they what do they do? What do they do? He's a roommate. He's a roommate who doesn't pay rent. Oh, P. Um, I have a daughter who's two and when I get off work

I spend every single hour between about 4.30 when I get off work to 8 o'clock when my daughter goes to bed Spending time with my daughter and my wife if I want to hang out with my friends on Discord and play video games, then that has to happen after the baby goes to sleep. I'm not saying this to like, to my own horn and say that I'm an awesome dad, I'm just saying, this is like the bare minimum. Spending literally any amount of time with your kid at all instead of avoiding her like the plague, I can tell you right now. If I spent every single evening outh hanging out with my friends until literally the minute my daughter went to sleep

and then I came home, my wife would leave me. There's no doubt in my mind. I don't want to do that, I wouldn't because I actually love my daughter and I want to spend time with her and build a connection and grow our love. Unlike this guy who would rather, I guess, complain about that stupid girl who got cheated on. Opie, you have married a walking red flag. Leave him, just leave him. What would you lose? Your dad can clearly finance your lifestyle.

What would you lose? A deadbeat roommate? Who cares? Gosh. Um, I'm thinking about giving this guy 5 out of 5 bad guys. It's not that like any individual thing he did was so bad, it's just he does so many wrong things. Like, everything this guy does is wrong. That I think they kind of add up, like, death by a thousand cuts, and he gets 5 out of 5 bad guys. He's not a husband, he's not a father, he's not a good person, so yeah, 5 out of 5 bad guys.

And just as a final last word, I got to throw out the idea that if this guy is still friends with a cheater and he's taking the cheater's side, kind of makes you wonder what exactly he's doing during those hours when he's quote, hanging with his friends. In quote. Am I the bad guy for calling my ex a deadbeat in front of his family? I'm a 41 year old woman, and I have a daughter, Sam, with my ex-husband Brian, who's 44. We divorced when she was four. Brian made a real effort to be a good father for the first couple of years after our divorce. But then, pretty much overnight, he seemed to lose interest in her.

He stopped coming to parent-teacher nights, never came to any of her sports games, and stopped asking about them. He refused to pay child support, which I eventually stopped asking for because I have a well-paying job. He would forget to pick up Sam on days that he said that he would, and he would stop asking to see her on holidays. On the rare occasion that he remembered to pick her up, he would try and smooth things over by buying her expensive gifts, and it worked for a really long time. But it started to wear off now, and Sam is starting to see through it. Sam's maintained a very close relationship with her paternal grandparents. Sam is a very accomplished field hockey player and represented our country internationally recently.

And it's likely that she'll be in the world championship team later this year. We returned two days ago, and yesterday her grandparents wanted to take her and the rest of the family to lunch to celebrate. Brian showed up 45 minutes late and didn't apologize. His parents were surprised and told him to behave. As Sam was describing the games to her grandparents, Brian interjected and belittled her performance because she only scored one goal. Sam burst into tears and ran to the bathroom. I comforted her and she asked if we could go home. I agreed and told her to wait in the car

while I got our stuff. When I returned to the table, Brian was defending himself against his parents and I snapped. I told him that he was a deadbeat and recounted all the things mentioned above and that I wouldn't be surprised if Sam cuts him loose one day. Our daughter is wonderful and does not deserve to be treated like this. His parents seem shocked as he clearly had given them the impression that he's a good father. He threw a tantrum and stormed out. I apologized and left money for half of our food bill

with the parents. Since then, Brian has sent me several messages and his parents texted to say that they don't appreciate the scene that I caused in the restaurant. I don't think I did anything wrong, but my parents agree with them. So maybe I did. Am I the bad guy?

Okay, so it's okay for him to belittle his daughter being on the international field hockey team, which is an insane accomplishment and making his daughter cry, but you can't call him out for being an absent father who doesn't actually care or love his daughter in any way, shape or form. Okay, um,

no, that's just completely wrong. That is, that's bullshit. That's bullshit. I try not to cut in this channel, but that's bullshit, man. I love this comment from JJJ, not the bad guy. And then, in quotation marks, I don't appreciate the kind of man you raised, but here we are, stuck living with the truth. Right? What's the alternative? That he's a good father? That he's a loving and caring man who

cares for his daughter financially and emotionally and intellectually? no, the guy's a deadbeat and deadbeat's deserved to be called out. There are a few things more pathetic than a deadbeat parent, in my opinion. Man, if my daughter were on the international team of anything, literally anything I would be gushing. This channel would cease to be our slash reads Reddit and would become, hey you guys, listen to this thing that my daughter just did on the international team of such and such because I'm so proud of her Even if you removed the the father daughter relationship and it was just a couple of friends hanging out and the daughter was on the international Field hockey team and she scored a goal against literally the best players in the world and this guy's like

Yeah, well you only scored one goal and this guy's just like an acquaintance on her friend What a douchebag man to belittle and bring down a 14 year old who's literally at the top of her game and you're's just like an acquaintance on her friend. What a douchebag, man. To belittle and bring down a 14-year-old who's literally at the top of her game, and you're gonna be like, oh, that's it, one whole goal. What have you accomplished, dude? Besides not paying for a daughter that you made. Man, what a douchebag.

I'm giving this guy four out of five bad guys. O.P., you get zero out of five bad guys. I'm also giving the grandparents two out of five bad guys. How dare you get upset at our son, who's not a good father to his daughter in any way shape or form, mwah! That was our Slash of My The A, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.