rSlash - r/AITA for Sleeping with My Sister's Boyfriend?

Episode Date: September 24, 2023

0:00 Intro 0:07 Seconds 4:11 Relationship balance 11:50 My seat 14:07 Babysitting Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This holiday season, let's swish Shall A to the cooking so you can enjoy spending time with those you love. Their iconic festive special includes the famous quarter chicken dinner. Now with cranberry sauce, stuffing, lindor chocolates, plus a scratch and wind card, where everyone's a winner. Grab your loved ones and hurry to swish Shall A today. Visit swishshall A dot C A for contest details, Well, supplies last. Welcome to R-slash. Am I the butthole where OPs cheating X starts dating her sister? Am I the butthole for telling my sister that she knew what she was getting when she settled for my cast off X? I'm a 26 year old woman and I was dating James, who's 26 for most of college, and we had plans to get engaged after graduation.

Two months before graduation, I caught him planning to cheat. Nothing physical seemed to have happened yet, but he and another girl were making plans for a weekend that he told me he was going for a quick visit home. Cheating is an instant deal breaker for me, so it was over. Instead of having a fight, I didn't say anything.

I just waited till after he left for home, texted him proof that I'd caught him and said, Good thing you're single now, have fun, then blocked him on everything and went for a girl's weekend with friends. James lost his mind and spent a month trying to get in contact with me or guilt friends into helping him. The few messages that got through, I trashed without even reading them. After a while, I thought he'd finally given up. A year later, my 24 year old sister announced that she wanted to bring her boyfriend home to meet the family. We didn't realize that she had a boyfriend, but my parents had a barbecue and told her

to bring him. It was James! My parents were stunned, but tried to pull it together. I just left. My sister called me later and tried to explain that they had met at a party on campus, and it wasn't a big deal since I broke up with him. I told her I thought that she could do better, but she could make her own mistakes. I just wouldn't be spending time around them. She got mad about it because our parents took my side. I don't get along with my sister at the best

of time, so avoiding them wasn't hard, except at holidays. My parents caved and let him come to things giving and Christmas since the two seemed serious. James seemed way too invested in getting back on my good side when he was around, and it apparently made my sister jealous because she started acting bradier than normal. This last weekend was a milestone birthday for my mom and I thought that it would be a good chance to introduce him to my boyfriend Todd who's 29. Mom gave me the okay and Todd actually made a great impression on the family. James was there with my sister and he was pissed and left early. My sister called me later and yelled at me for upsetting James and trying to make him

jealous to get his attention. What? I told her that she knew that she was getting a cheat when she decided to date my sloppy seconds and he was no longer my problem. Since then, she's blown up my social media venting about it and is refusing to see my parents for the holidays of Todd and I are there. My parents think that she's over the top in acting out, but she's on their case so much, they want me to try and smooth it over and apologize for calling him sloppy seconds.

I think that it was an app description. Oh man, the incredible irony of this story is that OP's sister is accusing OP of bringing Todd to make the ex-boyfriend jealous. When that's what the ex-boyfriend is doing, clearly obvious plane as day, how could anyone not see it? The ex-boyfriend is just dating OP sister to make OP jealous, not because he actually loves the sister. Oh god, she is projecting hard, she is blind to the truth, she is in denial. Honestly, they sound like a perfect couple. They sound like a match made in heaven, they are a toxic messy couple, and hopefully things will work out for them, but you and I both know that will never happen.

OP, this is an easy zero out of five buttolls for you. Like what do you do? What are you doing this story that was so bad? You dumped your cheating boyfriend and then you said, are you sure you want a data cheater? Because, you know, he's a cheater. And then your sister gets all upset about that. Oh man, I'm giving your cheating ex three out of five buttholes for cheating. And I'm giving your sister I think three point five out of five buttholes

because of all the men on planet earth to bring home. Don't bring home your sister's ex, man. It's not hard. There's so many dudes out there, so many choices. Why go for the one guy that you can't date ethically? To betray your family like that, just for some dick. Come on, girl, I have some integrity. Am I the butthole for telling my wife it's time she went back to work? My wife has been out of work since 2018. She had a mental breakdown during her fifth year of teaching. She's been going to therapy since, and we started marriage counseling during COVID.

The reason for her marriage counseling was because she thought that I was pushing her too hard to go back to work before her and her therapist thought that she was ready. I tried to explain many times that that was not my intent, but that realistically speaking, for me to keep up with expenses and retirement contributions, I pretty much have to take on extra shifts, which sometimes clock in and over 18 hours a day, and on average, I've been pulling 84 hour weeks. I've been doing this ever since my wife stopped working. We recently had a fight, because I had an extremely rough week, and I had the conversation again about her going back to work.

She opened up with the same line she always does. We don't feel that it's the right time yet. She feels that I have made great progress and if I rush it I'll run the risk of losing that progress, though we in this sentence being her and her therapist. I told her I really don't give an F what her therapist has to say and I'm sick of you hiding behind her words whenever the top it comes up She started to cry telling me that she doesn't like being this way either and I'm belittling her due to her suffering from mental health issues I replied saying that I don't intend to belittle you are not take your issue seriously the problem is I'm running myself Ragged and what happens if I have a mental break?

Do you think I'll have the luxury of not working? No, I'll have to just push through my demons. She said that her therapist warned her that this would happen sooner or later, and I would try to manipulate her into doing something she wasn't ready to do. This is when I really lost it and just let it all out. I didn't say anything kind. I told her that she's insulting me for thinking that what I'm doing is manipulation. I told her that I'm working these extra shifts just so that she can stay home playing games.

I said that during this entire time you've made no effort to improve on certain skills. I told her that she still can't cook to save her life, and that I was sick of coming home after 12 or 18 hour days just to make us dinner, because her idea of making dinner is pre-made in the oven or ordering out. After that, she stormed out of the house crying, yelling, and shouting that I'm a piece of garbage, and that I would rather see myself comfortable than her get better. So here I am. At my core, I don't feel that I'm in the wrong here. And while what I said was harsh, I think that it did have to be said.

So Reddit, am I the butthole here? Also OP clarifies in an edit. Yes, I have been to a couple of sessions with my wife and her therapist. To be honest, it largely felt like I was getting ganged up on. My wife brought up that I was always tired, so I explained that I'm working harder to maintain our home. When I suggested that she work part-time to allow me to work less, their counter-suggestion was to cut things like saving for retirement and hold off on paying back our debts and

only begin to tackle those things after my wife gets better. Then I suggested running out the house to cover the mortgage and we downsize to an apartment. Her therapist said that such a drastic change to her environment could have a negative impact on her depression and advice against such major life-changing events. During another session, my wife brought up my suggestion that she tried cooking to save money so that we don't order out as much. She felt insulted because I make plenty of money and she was able to cover her expenses, so she doesn't understand why we were having such a hard time.

I was honest that it has less to do with money per se, and more so the fact the amount of hours I have to work to maintain the income. I told her that I'm basically working two full-time jobs. Then they started criticizing me because I can't manage money since I'm making so much, yet we never had issues when she was working. Basically, every session became about what I could do to help my wife. And yeah, I get that her therapist has to look out for my wife, and generally my concerns are small compared to my wife's concerns. Also, my wife is not a huge fan of our marriage counselor because she offers suggestions that

go against her therapist. Oh, man. Okay. So, your wife hasn't been working since 2018. It is now late 2023, so that is five years of taking time off to reflect and work on herself and become a better person and pursue therapy and relax at home playing video games and just recover from her stressful job.

I don't want to belittle having a mental breakdown too much, if you have a mental breakdown you have a mental breakdown. 5 years of rest and relaxation in playing video games? Now, to be clear, I know that some people are really suffering and they do need lifelong therapy or they go through something that requires way more than five years of therapy, but come on you guys, come on. Five years of rest just because she had a break down at work. You know what?

Okay, I'll give her the benefit of the doubt and say that maybe she does need that much time off. The thing is, even if she really does genuinely need that much time off and that much therapy, what about you? What about your mental well being? What about your mental health? You're right, OP. What if you have a breakdown at work?

Can you take five years off? I seriously doubt it. Oh man, I really hate to say this because I'm pro mental health and I realize that we as a society are trying to become more cognizant and pro mental health and I realize that we as a society are trying to become more cognizant and pro mental health. So me saying this could come off is pretty bad. But what it sounds like in this post is that your wife is just lazy and she's hiding behind her mental health issues so that she can just stay at home playing video games instead

of actually contributing to the marriage. For me, the did giveaway is that after you work 18 hours, oh my God, 18 hours toiling away, you get home to cold takeout or a TV dinner. Oh God, I don't wanna be sexist either because I'm not trying to say that women should stay at home and cook and clean. But come on, man, you can't do anything for your man

who's working this much. You can't make him a basic man, you can't do anything for your man who's working this much. You can't make him a basic meal. You've had five years. And their suggestion is that you don't save her retirement. So, so what? So that you can keep working when you're 50, when you're 60, when you're 70, when you're 80, you're just a machine, OP, who exchanges every, every drop of blood and sweat that you have to the corporate machine so that you can bring home money and give it to your wives so she can sit around playing Baldur's Gate 3 all day. I'm going to be honest, I don't know why you're with your wife because if you're working

18 hour days, you don't see her, you don't spend time with her, that leaves only 6 hours a day for sleep and shower, which I know you're not getting enough of. So what do you actually do with your wife besides go to therapy sessions together and get dumped on because you're not getting enough of. So what do you actually do with your wife? Besides go to therapy sessions together and get dumped on because you're not being a good husband. Also, I've never been to therapy so I don't really know what therapy sessions are like or what people say that you should do. Is that really the best way to get therapy after all this time?

Is it just sit at home all day, every day, and play video games? That's supposed to improve your mental well-being. It's relaxing, sure, but she's not doing anything! There's no way that's the thing to do. Surely a good therapist would suggest that you, I don't know, find a hobby, are you get out in the community, are you do something, as opposed to just close the shutters and play video games for 18 hours a day? There's no way that's good for your mental health.

Guys, is this therapist a quack? Opie, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your wife three out of five buttholes, and I think I'm also giving your wife's therapist three out of five buttholes. So you think you know sports? Point's vet is the sportsbook for you, because we've got the features for true competitors,

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Be alert, be aware, and stay safe. Am I the butthole for not giving up my seat and embarrassing the woman who demanded my seat? I'm a 16 year old girl, and a few years ago, I lost my left leg in an accident. I've been using a prosthetic leg since then, and because my family is well off, it's a pretty advanced one. To the point where it just looks like I have two normal legs

whenever I wear long trousers, which I usually do because I'm really self-conscious about showing off my prosthetic. These days, I can pretty much do anything I like without issues, walking, running, going upstairs, etc. My main issue is keeping my balance when there are sudden changes in movement in places like trains and buses.

This is where the topic of this post comes in. I was riding the train and I sat down in a seat reserved for disabled, elderly and pregnant women. It was pretty busy, so there were no other seats available, and a few stops later, a woman came up to me telling me that I had to move, because she needs that seat, and I shouldn't be sitting there. I told her I was sorry, but I needed the seat myself. She got all argumentative that I just need to get up because the seat is meant for the elderly, and I'm just a lazy child who's more than capable of standing. I again

apologized and said that I really needed the seat myself. She left and got the train conductor who also told me to get up from the seat. I was really done being treated this way at that point, so I rolled up my trouser leg, showed my prosthetic, and told her I was not going to move. She suddenly got very red faced and mumbled something before she got off at the next station. Am I the butthole? I could have said that I have a prosthetic right away, but it's a really touchy subject for me and it makes me feel very self-conscious.

That's why I always wear long trousers so nobody can see or has to know. Opie, I am a million percent on your side. This is a super important lesson that we as a society have to learn. Not all disabilities are visible. So to come up to someone that you don't know and just assume they're not disabled and start yelling at them because you're more disabled than they are is super entitled. Opie, you get zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving the entitled lady two out of five buttholes and I'm giving the train conductor 2.5 out of 5 buttholes because even though he wasn't the one who started it, it's his job to know better.

Am I the butthole for refusing to babysit my grandchild due to her not being my biological grandkid? My son was married to Emma. They got married and had a kid. Apparently, he had doubts about if he was the father and got a DNA test. He was not the father, but he's been in the kids' life for four years, and his name is on the birth certificate, so he's legally responsible for the child, and he loves the kid. Now my issue is that before they divorced, I was never allowed near the grand kid.

I asked a baby sit, but they both cited that my home was unsafe, and they don't trust me with the baby, even though I raised four kids. They wouldn't even bring the kid to family events like Christmas. They did do this with all the child siblings. I know that I'm more country than they are, but it hurt a lot. My other kids relationships with him is strained, because they believe that he's looking down on them after he got a city job. Now after the divorce, he has the kid almost 50% of the time, and he keeps asking me to babysit.

I told him straight up that I will not babysit that kid since he's not my grand kid, and you made it clear that I wasn't good enough to babysit when you thought that she was your kid. We had a huge argument, and he thinks that I'm awful. I just think that he wants someone else to parent as kid because he can't rely on his ex-wife anymore. To be clear, the reason why he claimed my house was unsafe is because we have horses. I'm on your side OP. This is less about the DNA and the kid technically not being yours and more just about the fact that they never gave you a chance to get to know the kid. So when you say no, I'm not going to watch the kid because it's not my grand kid.

This doesn't really come off as you meaning that biologically, it comes off as meaning it more spiritually, meaning how can I see this my grand kid because you never let me see the kid so I have no attachment and now you just see me as a babysitter not as a grandma. O.P. you get zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your son one out of 5 buttholes. That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.