rSlash - r/AITA for Slowly Turning into a Karen?

Episode Date: January 8, 2023

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Welcome to R-Slash, am I the butthole where OP is slowly turning into an entitled Karen? Am I the butthole for snapping at my friend who keeps ditching me because I now have a child? I'm a 29 year old woman, and just over two years ago, I unexpectedly got pregnant, and now I have a beautiful 18 month old daughter, Kira. Over that time, my friend circle got considerably smaller, but my best friend remained, Mia, who's 31. Mia doesn't have kids, nor does she want kids, but she's been brilliant with Kira. I must stay at home, mom, and obviously, I don't have as much time to hang out as I did previously. Mia and I live on the same street, we're in Manchester, England, and it's a walking distance between our houses. I've told me a numerous times that she can just pop in whenever she wants to. She works from home, but she rarely does. She did at the beginning, but it's been happening less

and less. Instead, she keeps suggesting that we go out for coffee or pizza or even a drink, but I don't have the time and always just tell her to come over and we'll have coffee at my place. She asked if I wanted to go out with her and her other friends for a drink last weekend, but I said no, but she's welcome to come over and have a few drinks at mine. She said that she already had plans and that it felt weird to drink when she knows there's a child around. Honestly, I feel neglected. I feel like she put me on the back burner and doesn't want to be friends anymore. I'm always available, but she rarely comes over and I don't think that's fair. Today, I saw her photos from Saturday night out and I was fuming. She ditched me just so she could

go and drink like she's 20 again. I feel rejected and horrible. I thought that we were best friends, but she clearly doesn't value me when she wouldn't even have a few drinks with me at my house. When she finished work, she called and asked if I fancy going for coffee to town, but I asked her to come over to my place again. She said yes, but before she hung up, I heard her mumble. Like always, this really annoyed me. When she came over, I decided to be open about everything. And while not my proudest or most mature moment, I shouted at her that she's an awful friend.

That she barely comes over, and if she doesn't want to spend time with me, then she should just say it and stop playing around. She said that she's always been accommodating, but it's been two years, and she doesn't want to spend time with me when there's always a kid around. Especially now that she has to watch her language. Me, like Susswear. I said that she knows that I have a child and responsibilities. She said that Tom, my partner, could take care of Kara once in a while so I could have some time off. This felt really intrusive, and I told her to mind her own business and not meddle in my marriage. I was really angry with her and kicked her out.

She called me a selfish butthole on her way out. Normally I would expect her to call by now with apologies, but she hasn't done so, and I'm starting to wonder, was I the butthole or was she? Perhaps I was too harsh, and I should have been more careful with discussing it. Opie, hold on, let's be super, super clear. Your friend didn't ditch you on the weekend to go drink like she's 20. She just hung out with her other friends, and actually she invited you, she invites you all the time, but apparently it's only okay to hang out on your terms, never, ever,

ever on her terms. Opie, friendships work both ways. They have both give and take. All you're doing is taking. Come to my place, meet me on my terms. Meet me on my terms, on my terms, on my terms, on my terms. If you wanna maintain a friendship with Mia,

you have to give some, you have to occasionally meet her on her terms. And besides that, she's right. Why can't your partner watch his kid every once in a while? Is that really the dynamic that you and your husband set up that you're just expected to be a stay-at-home mom and caretaker for literally every waking moment from like 8 a.m. to 10 p.m. that you never get a night off that he never watches the kid because that doesn't seem healthy. Opie, I'm giving you 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving me a 0 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for refusing to pay my husband for using one room in the house for a work from

home job? I'm a 32 year old woman and I began working from home two months ago. My husband bought the house that we live in before we got together. He calls it his property, which is fine by me. The house is small and only has two rooms, one of which used to be empty until I started using it as an office for my work from home job. Everything was going fine, and tell my husband set me down last night,

saying that he's expecting 30% profit from whatever I get from my job since he provides the office for my work. I was completely caught off guard by this. I asked if he was serious, and he went on about it being his home and how he could be using this room for his own purpose since it's his property. I said no, and called him unreasonable, which led to a blow-up. I yelled at him, saying that he won't get a penny, and he pitched a fit and accused me of taking full advantage, even though there's no mortgages to be paid.

I do all the chores in the house, as well as pay half the bills. He got his family involved in this, and their split. His mom thinks that I'm being difficult, and that 30% isn't a huge amount, and that this room is providing stability for my work from home job, and so my husband should get some of the benefits. Am I the butthole for putting my foot down and refusing to pay a penny? OP, what your husband is asking of you here is weird. I have never ever heard of a landlord asking their tenant for 30% profit.

Asking for rent, sure, like 500 bucks a month, 1000 bucks a month, whatever, that's reasonable. But 30% of your income, huh? This is a weird red flag OP. This feels more like a landlord-tenant relationship than a marriage. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving him three out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for saying that I can't do any chores

in December and following through? I'm a 30-year-old woman, and I run a small online business from home. November and December are my busiest time of the year when I make a lot of money which allows me to work less during the rest of the year. I've been doing this since I was 25 so I've got a decent idea of what I can and can't do and focusing on work for one to two months is a sacrifice that I'm willing to make to chill for the rest of the year. This year, I moved in with my boyfriend who's 35. Well, technically, he moved in with me because I own the house, so it was a no-brainer for

him to move in with me. We split chores half and half. He works full-time, 37 and a half hours a week. When he moved in, I had a talk with him, letting him know that I can't do any chores in November or December. And I asked him if he could pick up the slack because I'm physically unable to do any chores because I can be working like 12 to 18 hours a day. Afterwards, I take all of January off work to decompress. He said that he doubted I worked that much, but we'll see. I asked

again in September and October to make sure that he was aware that I won't be doing any chores, and I felt like he kind of dismissed me. Mid-November, we had an argument about my chores not being done, and I reminded him of what I told him. He said that he thought that I wasn't being serious, and he told me there's no way that he would do 100% of the chores because he's working too. I said, fine, don't do my chores then, they can wait until I have time. That's how it was when I lived alone, no problem, and I don't make much of a mess anyways. He wasn't happy, but dropped it. We haven't seen each other much because I've been working so much, but he's been more

and more pissed off and blew up at me today regarding the chores. He said that I have to have a better work life balance and to grow up because the house was a mess. I told him that if the house was a mess, then it was his fault because I barely leave my office. He called me a lazy B word. I told him that I didn't have time for arguing and I went back to work. He stood in front of my locked office door, shouting how he couldn't believe I was being serious about not doing chores, and it was a butthole move to leave it all to him. He thinks that I'm a major butthole for basically disappearing for two months and following through with not doing chores. Am I really the butthole for saying that I won't do chores and following through? Okay, so this story started off being about

splitting chores and OP focusing on work, but it quickly took a hard turn when this guy called OP a lazy B word in her own house. I would be very, very interested to know if this guy is paying OP rent or if he's living there rent free. Regardless, if I own my own house and my partner comes in and calls me a lazy B word while I'm working 12 to 18 hour days they'd be out of there Like, ah, yeah, it's been fun. It's been nice having you around but get the f*** out of my house You're gonna come into my house and call me a lazy B word when I'm working 18 hour days. Are you nuts? Get out of my house, man Get out of my house. OP your boyfriend's really showing you as true colors here

I'm giving him 2.5 out of 5 buttholes, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole because I'm forcing my parents to choose between two options they loathe? I'm a 38 year old woman and I've recently gotten a not great medical diagnosis and prognosis. I'm at peace with it. So I sat down with my husband and I figured out my will. Obviously, he'll be receiving most of the estate. He has to take care of himself and our kids. He and I both have decent, if not spectacular careers, and he likes his work. My oldest brother is a gigantic douchebag. He's an addict, and my parents have wasted their lives trying to help him.

They spent so much of their time and money on him, and they had very little for my sister or myself. I don't hold this against them. I love my kids, and I can understand the urge to help them with their problems. The real issue is that my brother has abandoned my nieces with my parents. I tried to get custody of them, but I'm not a member of their church, and my parents cut me off when I left home to get a college education, instead of staying home and helping them like a good daughter should.

Their congregation helped them hire a lawyer to keep the girls away from me. But strangely enough, after the girls were out of my reach, they stopped getting any financial support. So, in my will, I'm leaving my niece's money. Not for them to spend however they want, it's only going to pay for their post-secondary education. If the money isn't used for that by the time they're 25, it'll be donated to a charity that my parents hate.

It advocates for women and reproductive rights. I sent my parents a copy of my will so they knew what was coming. They're the kind of people who would take out a loan counting on money from my death to bail them out. They're calling me a butthole for not giving them the money to take care of my nieces. They're complaining because they're going into debt taking care of the girls. I, again, offer to take custody with my husband. If I can have them for two years, I know that I can get them on a path away from that church. My parents won't relent, and they're saying they'll challenge my will if I leave it like this.

Good luck. My lawyer is confident that I've protected the money. I just heard from my brother. He's calling me a butthole for depriving his kids of help and forcing my parents into an awful situation. I asked him when was the last time that he sent money to help out his kids. He yelled obscenities and hung up. My husband supports my decision, but a lot of my family is calling me and asking me to

help my parents with no strings attached. Am I the butthole? Opie, this story basically boils down to, are you the butthole forgiving your niece's money to go to college? No, why would you be? How could you be? Of course, naturally, when you give a huge amount of money to someone else college. No, why would you be? How could you be? Of course, naturally, when you give a huge amount of money to someone else, there's going to be some other person

who's like, well, I could really use the money, but like, so? So what? Who cares? Tough luck. I'm not giving the money to you. I'm giving the money to other people. That's kind of how wills work.

Your family is mega toxic, OP. I can't believe your parents disowned you, hired lawyers to keep the kids away from you, and then they're like, why won't you give us money? Maybe because you disowned me? Did you forget about that part? OP, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your brother five out of five buttholes. I'm giving your parents 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. Your brother is wild man, imagine abandoning your own kids and then calling your family members to scold them for abandoning your own kids. Okay, right, sure, that makes sense.

Am I the butthole for throwing away the expensive whiskey my brother got me for my 40th birthday? I'm a 40 year old man and I just turned 40 last week. I'm divorced and have two teenage kids with my ex-wife, a 17-year-old boy and a 14-year-old girl. My whole family came to me and my girlfriend's apartment last Saturday for my birthday party. My parents, some aunts and uncles, some cousins, my three brothers with their families and my two kids. Also my girlfriend's 15-year-old son who lives with us.

I'm a recovering alcoholic and I've been sober for six years now. Okay, I was not expecting to read that sentence. Alcohol absolutely ruined my life. It destroyed my marriage and nuked my relationship with my kids for years. I do not allow alcohol in my home now for anyone. It just isn't served or tolerated here. My entire family knows this very well because they know my entire history with alcohol. For my 40th birthday, my brother bought me a very expensive bottle of whiskey. It had riding on it, it was a very heavy bottle and very old whiskey, so it probably cost him a couple hundred bucks. What? What is this guy thinking? When he gave me the bottle, I was shocked and I said I don't drink, but thanks for the gift. He then opened the bottle and started pouring

shots and plastic cups for everyone. My daughter had a panic attack at the smell of alcohol, which I'm painfully aware is my fault and I will never forgive myself for it. So I told my brother to take the alcohol out on the balcony and just leave it there. He wouldn't do it and took a shot of whiskey. I told him to seriously stop it and he proceeded to pour the whiskey. He said that I'm acting like a sober saint now when I ruined everyone's birthdays for years with my drinking. I told him to come to the hallway with me to talk it out.

He refused and put a glass of whiskey in my drinking. I told him to come to the hallway with me to talk it out. He refused and put a glass of whiskey in my hand. I took the trash can through the whiskey bottle and the plastic cups in it and took the trash out. My brother then stormed off and my mom followed him. She later called me demanding an apology for disrespecting my brother like that. My dad said that I was being overly sensitive and some of my other family members also agree. Am I the butthole here? Opie, the title of this post could have just as easily been, am I the butthole for throwing away the rat poison that my brother got me for my 40th birthday? Because realistically,

that's how dangerous it would have been for you to actually drink that alcohol. What your brother did to you was incredibly cruel. And even outside of the whole alcoholism thing, you said a boundary in your home. This is your house, and in your house, you say no alcohol. And this guy's response is to give you alcohol as a gift when you specifically have no alcohol rule. I can't tell if your brother is being cruel, or if maybe your brother also has an alcohol problem. Opie, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your brother 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. That was our slash of my The Butthole and if you like this content be sure to follow my

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