rSlash - r/AITA for Stalking My Own Sister?

Episode Date: May 15, 2023

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Welcome to our slash. Am I the bad guy where OP is struggling to prevent her husband from killing their child? Am I the bad guy for telling my spouse that they could kill our child? My spouse is a very lax person where it's not a big deal seems to constantly be their mentality. I'm on the opposite spectrum where I overthink and freak out over everything. I realize that and I'm working on it. However, sometimes I feel like my spouse

uses the fact that I overreact and just dismisses everything. Whereas they never admit that they underreact to most situations. I think meeting in the middle would be a healthy balance. We just had a baby, and I've always been very stringent on safe sleeping habits

and just overall safety precautions. I just do what the CDC and pediatricians recommend. If the pediatrician and or the CDC don't warrant strong concern about it, then I tend to say, hey, maybe I'm just being paranoid and I should let this slide. My spouse has on multiple occasions left burping cloths in or on the crib. I've politely spoken to them about it and they say they'll try to do better. However, since it keeps happening, I've started to get angrier and here's where I might

be the bad guy. I've taken to lecturing them, and probably talking down to them because, in my opinion, this behavior is childish and could kill our baby. My spouse leaves the baby on the changing table, unmonadured for up to a minute to throw a diaper away. I feel like I was a butthole in the way that I spoke to them, however, I try talking nicely about it and nothing changes. I feel that I can't spare my spouse's feelings when it comes to the safety of our child. Any advice on how we could work this out would also be appreciated. My spouse said that what they did doesn't warrant the strong response I gave, which is making me feel like a butthole.

Oh man, Hopi, I'm a million percent on your side. The thing is, you're just like scientifically correct. You're just, you're right, and he's wrong. You know, it's kind of like, um, you know, when you get in the car, you put your seat belt on. It's not a big deal, you don't have to freak out about it. You just do it because it's a smart thing to do. But to not do it, yeah, that kind of makes it a big deal. Your baby could literally die.

Opie, I'm giving you zero out of five bad guys. If anything, I think you should show more anger about this problem. I'm giving your husband 2.5 out of five bad guys. Am I the bad guy for going to my sister's university? Me and my sister used to be close, but when I was five and she was 7, I got sick up until I was 15. Because I was sick, my parents often stopped her from doing normal things because of me. At first, I was okay with her doing kid stuff, but at one point, I got better and kind of guilt

tripped my parents in her to make her stay with me all the time. I did that up until I was 12. After that, I noticed that it was leading to a strain in our relationship, and her hating me. I tried to get back on our good side because she was no longer enthusiastic to stay with me, like before when we would play games and she would sing and do things with me. I tried to convince my parents to make her do stuff with me, because she would come back from school, then spend 5-7 hours with me, then go home. And that cycle would repeat itself.

But my parents still insisted on it, and I thought that I was being brave, even though I would beg them to let her have a life. When I turned 15, I had surgery and I was doing better, but I was still dealing with some side effects from the drugs that I was taking, but that only lasted a year. At this point, my parents finally let my sister do things that she wanted to do. This was like midway through her junior year, but the damage was already done. She had stopped communicating with me and my parents entirely, like we'd sit down to dinner and she'd only say one word to my parents and then lock the door to her room. And she didn't even have any friends.

My sister told that to my aunt and my aunt told my parents because she was worried about my sister's mental health. My parents tried to do family therapy before she left for college, but she still doesn't communicate. She can literally spend a whole month without saying a single word to anyone. When she went to college, she cut off our parents and me. She changed her number and everything. Last year, after doing some research, I found her on Instagram.

She seems much happier on Instagram. Then, I found out which university she goes to and applied there. I want to rekindle our relationship now that she seems to be in a better mental space. Last semester, I contacted her through her university email and told her that we could meet for coffee. She ignored all of my emails. This year, I decided to be more direct, so I went to her student organization and told her high.

She ignored me, but her friends asked who I was and I told them I was her sister, and they seemed surprised because she didn't mention me. She then told me that we could go to a cafe, and she chewed me out for picking this university, which she referred to as her safe place. I'm now feeling like I may have gone about this the wrong way, but at the same time, I just wanted us to be close again. Am I the bad guy? Okay, so basically you and your parents stole your sister's childhood from her. And now you're thinking, okay, I'll just steal her adulthood from her as well. I mean, I made her do whatever I wanted to

do when we were kids, so why can't I force her to do whatever I want to do now that we're adults too? Oh, please just move on. Obviously, your sister is going no contact with you, respect her choice. I'm giving you three out of five bad guys. I'm giving your parents four out of five bad guys, and I'm giving your sister zero out of five bad guys. Honestly, OP, did you ever stop to consider why she never talked to you for a month straight?

Because she doesn't want to. She just doesn't like you guys anymore. Am I the bad guy for challenging my girlfriend's claims about sexism at work? My girlfriend and I both work in the tech industry and both have five years of experience. I have a CS slash math degree and she has an electrical slash electronics engineering degree. I've been promoted to a senior level at my company, and she's been promoted only once and is still a junior at her company. She always complains about how things are unfair at the job she's had, she's had three

so far, and how she's not given opportunities, and supposedly gets excluded from decisions and meetings, while still claiming that she gets asked to take notes in those meetings. She judges her co-workers for things they say that have nothing to do about work, like when they talk about their wives and partners. She and another woman once complained about a co-worker being rude in meetings, and HR, which was dealt with by a woman, didn't find anything wrong and dismissed their concerns. She recently had a performance review and wasn't promoted, and was told that she needs to take on more challenges and told me that she does.

But she's always told to hand over the projects to other people when she starts them, and she's excluded from meetings. I do believe that there is some sexism in the industry, but I think she can't blame everything on sexism, and she should recognize that perhaps she has room to improve. She thinks that because she graduated with honors and a 4.0, that translates to industry performance. Her degree is also in electronics and is more hardware focused. I express this to her and suggested she follow her manager's advice to grow, and she got

upset with me and called me a butthole. I get her disappointment, but I don't think it's fair for her to expect me to just agree with everything she says. Man, OP is getting ripped to shred in the comments. In GDG unpunished says, she had a 4.0 GPA, but is invited to meetings to take notes and expected to hand off challenging work assignments to male colleagues. Dude, come on, actually read what you wrote. You're the bad guy. Also, I love how she complains about sexism to her boyfriend and the boyfriend's first response

is to man explain how she's wrong. Oh man, I feel sorry for this girl. OP, you're the bad guy. I'm giving you 1.5 out of 5 bad guys for putting your foot in your mouth. I'm giving the girlfriend 0 out of 5 bad guys. Also OP posted a quick update where basically he explains that he realized he was wrong, he's trying to support his girlfriend and he's encouraging her to do a job hunt. is all you can match a soup, sell it, and gollic homo. Come on, me! Get out of the way, you fool! at any time on the tracks. Remember to follow all traffic signals. Be careful along our tracks,

and only make left turns where it's safe to do so. Be alert, be aware, and stay safe. Will I be the bad guy for not attending my twin's brother's surprise birthday dinner when I was only invited as a guest? Wait, what? Twin brothers surprise birthday dinner. Invited as a guest? So I as a guest. Wait, what? Twin brothers surprise birthday dinner. Invited as a guest?

So I'm a twin. My brother and I hang out all the time and we're super close. And a few days, it's our 25th birthday. And for clarity, we're both twin boys. We share the same friend group and we're all really close and have been since school. He has a close group of girlfriends about five of them, who I've also known for many years. I'd say they've gotten closer with him in recent years, but we're all still good friends and socialize often together.

Now I've been added to a group chat labeled, My Brother's Name Surprised Dinner. It's a surprise birthday dinner for my twin brother, organized by one of the girls in that group, and they invited me as a guest. One of them also said in the group that it would be nice to see you as well, so I just feel like an afterthought. I wouldn't really have minded if the girls went into organize a surprise birthday evening exclusively for my brother and themselves, but they've also invited my partner and some of my brothers and eyes closest friends. This feels inconsiderate and quite upsetting, as I can't understand why I would be invited to my

literal twin brother's surprise birthday dinner with me only invited as a guest, since it's also my birthday and it involves all of our friends. My girlfriend also found this action to be extremely rude, and wondered why this girl didn't just reach out to her. Then the two of them could have organized a surprise involving both of us instead, or have just involved both my brother and I and left the surprise element out of it. In the chat, it's clearly stated that we're all expected to arrive at one time while my brother is due to arrive twenty minutes later.

The thought of attending this party makes me feel weird because it's just a celebration for his birthday when him and I are literally born on the same day. This is not new information to the organizer. Also, every year my brother and I do something together because we want to and because we have the same friends. Last year, our friends and my girlfriend set up a massive dinner for our birthday to which everyone was invited, including this girl group. So now, I'm at a crossroads. I don't know whether or not to attend. On the one hand, if I don't go, I'll feel left out because our mutual friends are going. But on the other hand, if I do go, I'll feel like I'm letting myself be

disrespected and I'll likely feel uncomfortable because it feels like only my brother is being celebrated. So, will I be the bad guy if I took a stand and just didn't go? Then OP clarifies in an edit. My girlfriend is just checked the chat and the organizer booked the dinner for 10 people in a set menu. There are currently 11 people attending, excluding my girlfriend and I. If we went, this would make it way over capacity. Now we really aren't sure if we should go because what if we turn up and there's no room?

This makes it slightly more awkward as we may not be able to just pull up a chair and join. Also, the dinners tomorrow. Opie, that is super rude. I'm not saying you're a super rude, I'm saying they're super rude. This feels like it's beyond just them not thinking about you and not being considered.

It feels almost like an intentional snub, like they're intentionally rubbing it in your face, right? Am I, are you guys with me on this? It feels like they're being mean to you on purpose. So I'm with you, OP, I'm completely on your side. I'm giving you zero out of five bad guys if you decide not to go, and if I were in your shoes, I wouldn't go. Even if you cut out the whole twin thing, and like everyone knows that your birthday is April 5th, and someone else's birthday is also April 5th, and they all celebrate an April 5th birthday

party for your friend, but not you, that's also super rude. If you add in the twin element of two twins who like each other and like to spend their birthdays together, that's even worse! After that, OP posted an update which is a bit long so I'll just summarize. Basically, OP asked his other friends who were also twins and weren't invited what they thought about the situation and they agreed that this was super messed up. So his other twin friends, his girlfriend and and OP all decided to have a second celebration dinner on another day, and OP just spent his birthday hanging out with his girlfriend basically.

Then after the event, luckily OP's brother was like, man, that was really messed up. Why didn't they invite you, and they all went off together and hung out with their other twin friends? So I guess all's well that ends well, and OP discovered who his true friends are. Am I the bad guy for telling off my mother-in-law for insisting that my daughter doesn't have a real vagina? What? My four and a half year old daughter has a stomach bug, and she's been having some diarrhea. My wife needed to take our son to an appointment and I needed to work from home today.

So my mother-in-law came to watch after our daughter. My daughter needed to use the bathroom and I was going to excuse myself for my online meeting but my mother-in-law said that she had it. A bit later, my daughter came up to me and asked me to wiper. I said to her, didn't grandma help you? For clarity, my daughter knows how to wipe herself, but with her having diarrhea, we're

helping her. She said, yes, but grandma wiped me wrong. She said that grandma wiped in instead of out. We taught her to wipe out instead of in. I excused myself from my meeting to help wipe my daughter correctly. I went to find my mother-in-law in the kitchen and I asked her, my daughter says that you wiped her in instead of out, and she said, I wiped her, you think there's a better way?

I told her that it's not healthy to wipe towards the vagina. You need to wipe away from it. She said, and you have a vagina? I said, no, but I do have a daughter, and I won't let her get an infection by wiping incorrectly. She said, no, but I do have a daughter and I won't let her get an infection by wiping incorrectly. She said, your daughter doesn't have a real V yet, so there's no chance of infecting anything.

I said, what? Of course she has a real V. She's a female. She said, girls don't have real Vs and tell their teenagers, and there's no chance of any infection because their V doesn't actually develop until they're a teenager. I was dumbfounded, and I got angry. I said to her, you're a woman, you raise three daughters, I'm married to one.

You can't possibly be this stupid. She told me that I'm out of line, and said if I can't appreciate her help, then she's leaving. I told her that I am perfectly, in fact, definitely more capable than her of caring for my daughter, and that she's welcome to get out. She did leave, and about 10 minutes later, my wife called me and said that her mom was furious with me and said that I was terrible to her. And I made her leave without any reason.

After explaining, my wife is on my side. Am I the bad guy for defending my daughter's real V? Opie, I'm giving you zero out of five bad guys. Your mother-in-law is an idiot. How can a woman be, I don't know, Opie didn't say how old she was. We have to guess probably 40 or 50 if she's a grandma. How could a 40 year old woman be this ignorant to her own biology? How can you raise three daughters and be that ignorant to female anatomy? Man, what a moron! Anyways, OP, you get zero out of five bad guys.

I'm giving her, I don't know, one out of five bad guys, but four out of five on the idiot scale. That was our Slash of My The A, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.