rSlash - r/AITA for Stealing a Wedding Dress?

Episode Date: November 13, 2023

Go to PrizePicks.com/reddit and use code reddit for a first deposit match up to $100! Visit BetterHelp.com/RSLASH today to get 10% off your first month. 0:00 Intro 0:09 Schooling 2:57 College fund 6...:44 Books 9:35 We had a deal 12:10 Wedding dress 14:47 Being blunt Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:01:00 Welcome to R-Slash. Am I the butthole? Where someone expects their family member to just give them $120,000 a year for free. Am I the butthole for refusing to send my daughter to public school or ask my brother In law to pay for my stepkids to go to private school? I'm a 25 year old woman and I have an eight year old daughter I had her when I was very young and her father was never in the picture My older sister who's 34 and her 39-year-old husband, have helped me a lot. Raising my daughter alone and going to college would have been impossible without them. My sister is a stay-at-home mom,
Starting point is 00:01:36 and my brother-in-law is quite wealthy due to his family business. They pay for my daughter to go to the same private school as their kids. It's very expensive, but my brother-in-law can afford it, and I'm very grateful to them for giving my daughter more opportunities. I recently got married, and my husband, whose 36 has three daughters ages 12, 9, and 7. They go to our local public school, which is good, but not as good as the private school my daughter goes to. Last night, my husband told me that he thinks it's unfair that my daughter goes to a $40,000 a year private school while his daughters have to go to a public school. He said that next year, I need to either send my daughter to public school or ask my brother and a lot of pay for his daughters to go to private school.
Starting point is 00:02:22 I told him that I'm not doing that because I want my daughter to have all the opportunities that I didn't have. And my brother-in-law can't afford to send seven kids to private school. He got mad at me and said that our kids are siblings now and everything needs to be equal between them. Am I the butthole? Yeah, hold on. I gotta do the math on this. If the brother-in-law is spending 40K a year on the daughter and he's got three kids, that is $160,000 per year that this guy is spending on education. Okay, geez, OP, you weren't kidding when you said your brother-in-law is wealthy. Now, as for the situation, your husband is way overstepping. Of course your brother-in-law is invested in your daughter because he basically helped Razor. So naturally, he's going to care more about her and treat her as basically his own daughter, unlike your husband's daughters, who he barely even knows or cares about.
Starting point is 00:03:15 Just because you married your husband doesn't mean that you have to completely throw away all of your opportunities and connections with your old family, just so you can be more equitable with your new family. Also, I can't believe the audacity of this guy to try to strong arm you into telling your brother, hey brother-in-law, you're already spending $40,000 a year on my daughter. How about you throw us another 120k a year for his three daughters. Opie, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your husband two out of five buttholes, but I'm kind of concerned that this is a red flag for even worse behavior in the future. Your brother-in-law, however, may not be giving him negative two out of five buttholes. That guy is a saint! Am I the butthole for telling my daughter
Starting point is 00:03:59 that she can say goodbye to the rest of her college fund? My daughter is 17 and applying for colleges. We have a college fund saved up for her that we've been adding to since she was an infant. It's a good, sizable chunk of money, and a lot of donations from family have gone into it, as well as their own savings occasionally. We've made it clear that the money is there for college only. She's never had to put her own savings in there, but did so anyways. Anyway, her girlfriend lives in Australia, and they're both insanely big fans of Super Natural.
Starting point is 00:04:29 They both wanted to go to a convention for years, at least five that I can remember. Two of the main guys are going to be at a convention in Australia. She begged me to let her go. I said no, but the convention is set for after her 18th birthday, so I can't stop her if she pays for it. Later on, I logged into our college account to add some money, and I noticed a chunk of money was missing. I went to speak to my daughter about it, and she admitted to using that money to pay for
Starting point is 00:04:56 the convention. She bought her own plane tickets, her girlfriend's plane tickets, both of their convention tickets, and the hotel. The convention is three to four days long, but she's planning on staying for a couple of weeks and making a vacation out of it. All in all, she's taken about $10,000. Honestly, I lost it! I demanded she cancel, which fell on deaf ears. I tried to cancel for her, but she won't be refunded everything, so I'm hesitant to do so. She's insisting that it's her money and she can do what she likes with it.
Starting point is 00:05:29 She claims she still has enough for college, and this is a once in a lifetime experience. I believe this has shown her extreme immaturity and her inability to manage her future and her money. I'm so incredibly angry that she would go and do this. I told her that she could say goodbye to the rest of her college fund, and I've locked the account. I'm now the only person with access. She said that she'll pay it back, but that seems unlikely. My wife thinks that I'm being harsh and that our daughter is right. My wife pointed out that our
Starting point is 00:06:00 daughter put at least $5,000 of her own money into the account herself, so really, she only took out $5,000, which my mother-in-law has since said that she'll pay back. I think this just teaches my daughter that she can pay her way out of messes. I was certain in my decision, but everyone is acting like I'm the butthole. My family is saying that she's a teenage girl, and her entire life shouldn't revolve around college. I'm still uncertain, so here I am. Am I the butthole? Okay, Opie, I'm gonna tentatively say that you're not the butthole here. However, you
Starting point is 00:06:35 could very easily become the butthole, because even though you're right that the money was set aside for college, and this is not an appropriate use of funds, but still cutting off all that money just because she took $5,000 for a once in a lifetime vacation and is planning to pay it back is pretty extreme. So I do think there should be consequences to your daughter's irresponsibility here, but this consequence of cutting off
Starting point is 00:07:02 her entire college fund is going too far. I mean, if you think about it, she spent her teenage years putting $5,000 into this account, and $5,000 for a teenager beneath the age of 18 is a looot of Chris amount of money. It was so responsible of her to do that, and you're kind of like punishing that responsibility. So just pump the brakes OP. I understand where you're coming from. I'm mostly on your side, but there's got to be a more reasonable compromise here. Would it make you feel better? If instead of taking the $5,000 out of the account, she just took a $5,000 loan from you personally, like from the bank of dad that she would have to pay back eventually, isn't that a more fair and
Starting point is 00:07:42 reasonable way to do this? Am I the butthole for telling my friends that my husband isn't well read? My husband, Will, is in the Navy, and he works on nuclear reactors and submarines. We've been together for four years, married for two. We read a small house party with a few friends of mine from college, and we were discussing books that we've all read. When, at one point, when of my friends, Steve asks Will, so Will, what's your favorite book and my husband responds?
Starting point is 00:08:10 Oh, I really like to kill a mockingbird. Then Steve gives him a quizzical look and asks him, have you read any books outside of high school and Will hesitates a bit and says, outside of manuals at work, I guess I haven't. So then I try to explain to Steve, oh yeah, he's not well educated, so he's never had a reason to be well read. We all had a good laugh, but then Will didn't really contribute a whole lot to the conversation for the rest of the night.
Starting point is 00:08:36 On the car ride back, Will was pretty quiet. I ask if he's fine, and Ollie says in a sarcastic tone is peachy. I ask him if I did anything to upset him and he responds back with. I don't know. I don't think I'm educated enough to properly explain myself. I tell him that I didn't tell my friends that he was unintelligent, just that he wasn't college educated. He accused me of minimizing how hard his navy schooling was. But I explained that military education and college education are simply not the same. We continued to fight until we got home.
Starting point is 00:09:11 I texted my sister about what happened, and she called me a huge butthole and that I need to apologize and now. I'm having second thoughts about how I handled this. Am I the butthole reddit? Yes, OP, definitely, you are 100% the butthole. You just insulted your husband's intelligence in front of other people for no reason. Not reading books doesn't make someone not educated or not intelligent.
Starting point is 00:09:34 The dude works on nuclear reactors for God's sake. That's like one step beneath rocket scientists. Also, your friends are condescending. When your friend had a quizzical look and said, have you read any books outside of high school? Like, what's wrong with liking classics? He just automatically assumed that because this guy likes a classic, that must mean he doesn't read as a hobby.
Starting point is 00:09:56 Look, one of my favorite books of all time, 1984. I think that's a phenomenal book. It's a classic, you read it for school. I also read other non-classic books like Fantasy novels, so if someone asked me what's your favorite book and I said 1984, they're going to be like, oh, that must mean you stopped reading since high school. That's just wrong, stupid, and really judgy. OP, you and your friends are snobs. If you were to ask me who's smarter, a person who works on a nuclear submarine, or a person reads, Fairy Vampire Smut.
Starting point is 00:10:25 I would pick the person who works on nuclear reactors. Opie, I'm giving you and your friends 1.5 out of 5 butthole. I'm giving your husband 0 out of 5 buttholes. Get over yourself. Am I the butthole for telling my son that I am not buying him new food since he ruined his and he can be hungry for a few hours? It's been a long day.
Starting point is 00:10:44 I have a son named Jack who's 14. He's a horribly picky eater, so getting lunch out on the town is a nightmare most of the time. Now I took all the kids with me to go visit a relative in the hospital and I had to take the kids out of school for it. The hospital was a three hour drive and we went up this morning. By lunch everyone was starving, so we stopped by Chick-fil-A. There's this trend of putting mac and cheese on the sandwich along with the sauce.
Starting point is 00:11:10 Jack mentioned this, and I told him that I would not buy him more food if he tries this and doesn't like it. Well, he did, and he hated it. Now all of his food was touching each other, so he couldn't just eat the sandwich after taking it off. I didn't buy him more food like I said, and he didn't eat his concoction that he made. After that we drove back home and he was really hungry. My wife came home and he started telling my wife that I starved him. We got into an argument for not buying him more food even
Starting point is 00:11:40 though we could afford it. Both of them think that I'm a huge jerk for this. Am I the butthole? Should I have just bought more food? Opie clarifies he doesn't have sensory issues and he's only allergic to cats. We had him tested. If he doesn't find the taste up to his liking, he won't eat it. This includes leftovers.
Starting point is 00:11:58 The same meal that he liked before isn't worth eating as a leftover. I've had the kid tested. Our school checks for being on the spectrum and he's not on it. Yes, I know what A for it is and he does not have it. OP, I'm super on your side here because it's not just about eating and not eating, it's also about teaching life lessons and the life lesson here is actions have consequences. OP warned his son of the potential consequences, allowed his son to make his own choices,
Starting point is 00:12:25 and then enforced those consequences. In my opinion, that's excellent parenting. Also, I gotta say, the kid is just dumb. Maybe even both of you are dumb because it's so bizarre to me that no one suggested the idea of just trying the mac and cheese on one bite. You know, you take one bite of the chicken sandwich and that creates like a little bowl because of your bite marks, so you just take a little spoonful of mac and cheese on one bite. You know, you take one bite of the chicken sandwich and that creates like a little bowl because of your bite marks, so you just take a little spoonful of mac and cheese, put it into the little bowl shaped bite, and then try a bite, and if you don't
Starting point is 00:12:51 like it, then the sandwich isn't ruined. How did that idea not occur to either one of you? That's the first thing I would have tried. So stay in strong OP, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your son one out of five buttholes, and I'm giving your wife one point five out of five buttholes Judging by your wife's reaction, I think I'm starting to learn how your son became a picky eater Am I the butthole for going through my friend's closet to find my wedding dress? Two years ago my husband and I were doing some renovations to our house I didn't want my wedding dress to get damaged or lost in the process and
Starting point is 00:13:24 Considering that we did lose a few things during renovation, I was right to be concerned. My friend offered to keep my wedding dress in our closet until the renovations were done. After we finished the renovations, I asked my friend for the dress back. She kept saying that she'd get it back to me. I kept asking and she'd make up excuses. I found it weird. Now my sister is getting married and she wants to wear the dress. This was our mother's dress and we all agreed that we'd each wear it. I told my friend that I need it back. She claimed that she couldn't find it. I was perplexed because how does it just get up and walk away? She apologized and offered
Starting point is 00:14:00 to pay me the cost of the dress, which I turned down because it's not about money. The dress was sentimental, and I felt terrible that my sister couldn't wear it. My friend and her husband went away for a trip. I was there to water their plant and feed their dog. I decided to go look for the dress myself. The closet was very cluttered, but I eventually found the dress. I can totally believe that she missed where it was and that she wasn't being malicious in the slightest. The box was tucked behind a few larger ones containing seasonal
Starting point is 00:14:30 clothes. I texted her saying, I found the dress. Instead of being happy for me, she asked me why I rummaged through her closet. I said that I just wanted to double check. She told me that I had no right to go through her things. I said that because of her clutter, my sister almost didn't get to wear a dress that she always dreamed of wearing. My friend told me that I could have asked her to look again, but I pointed out that it took two years for her to even look in the first place. Am I the butthole? I mean, so yeah, you don't have a right to go through her closet, but at the same time, she doesn't have a right to lose your wedding dress.
Starting point is 00:15:08 Even though she didn't lose it, she's just really, really lazy and maybe intentionally trying to gaslight you so that she can steal your dress? Maybe? Oh, be, in my opinion, the only mistake you made here is telling her that you found the dress. Because if she really genuinely thought that it was lost, then no harm no foul. But if she was intentionally stealing it from you, then F her, man, Opie, I'm giving you zero out of five buttles.
Starting point is 00:15:33 I'm giving your friend 1.5 out of five buttles. I'm really having a hard time understanding if this woman is malicious or just lazy and stupid slash incompetent. I think malicious, but I'm not super sure about that. Am I the butthole for bluntly telling someone why their disabled son isn't allowed in my muscle car? I'm a 26 year old man,
Starting point is 00:15:54 and I work full time as a driving instructor. Due to the location of my school, the bulk of people that I work with are from a rehab center next door. This has sadly led to my current situation with my aunt over her disabled son, who's 14, who attends a day program they host. It started a month ago when I got my Mustang
Starting point is 00:16:12 that I pre-ordered through a dealership. When my aunt saw my Mustang, she began asking me if I could take her son for a ride in it. No matter how many times I would tell her no, she refused to accept it and would try to guilt trip me. Things pique this week when I bluntly told her that I worked 50 hours a week and I don't have time for her garbage. When she kept pushing, I snapped and told her that her son is the last person I went
Starting point is 00:16:37 near my car. I then went on to tell her all the reasons why he would never be allowed to ride in my car. These reasons are that he can't control his bladder or his bowels and that his stimming may break things. When I told her this, it only made things worse and she only got more upset and pushy with me. I wound up having no choice but to cut contact with her, but still that made things
Starting point is 00:17:00 even worse. I now have several other family members from her side coming after me over all this. I don't believe that I'm the butthole here. However, I would like an outside opinion. Am I the butthole? Opie, to put it simply, your car, your rules. But also, your aunt was being super, super pushy and just wouldn't take no for an answer.
Starting point is 00:17:20 Lady, no means no. That was our slash of my the butthole. and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.

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