rSlash - r/AITA for Supporting a Murderer?

Episode Date: February 15, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:04 Ultimate punishment 2:44 Eye roll 8:07 Pay back 12:22 Divorce Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh hi there, I'm Norma, the unofficial mayor of the town of Destiny. Speaking of, FanDuel's Kick of Destiny 3 is happening live Super Bowl Sunday. You should watch, it's gonna be a hoot. While you're at it, download FanDuel, North America's number one sports book. You can bet on touchdowns, turnovers, heck, even total kicker points, don't you know? Anywho, enjoy your podcast or whatnot. Please play responsibly, 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or the gambling of someone close Welcome to r slash am I the butthole where a dude gets shot in the face. Am I the butthole for supporting my friend who killed a man?

Long story short, I have a friend I went to college with and have stayed casual friends with for about 12 years. He's not a part of my immediate friend group, but we talked every now and then. I mainly saw him every time I went to the doctors, which isn't very often, since he worked there and I talked to him. Jeff shot his sister's boyfriend in the face. He did this because he found out his sister's boyfriend was S.A-ing his 6-year-old daughter. His sister was responsible for babysitting his daughter while he was at work. And that's when the SA was occurring.

Jeff found out because his daughter told him. Jeff then, probably without thinking and in a fit of rage, called his sister and asked for her to have her boyfriend come outside with his daughter's Nintendo Switch that she had left there that day. Jeff then killed him in the alley. I don't think Jeff is wrong. I don't blame Jeff for what he did. And I don't look at him as an evil person.

I don't have any sympathy for his sister's boyfriend. I support Jeff. My friends think I don't have morals because Jeff is a murderer. They don't believe any murder is justifiable. One of my friends, who's very religious, says that Jeff is going to hell and that two wrongs don't make a right. My argument is that Jeff and his daughter are the victims here, and that while murder is wrong, Jeff did what a lot of fathers, and mothers for that matter, would probably do in his shoes. My friends say that I'm messed up for condoning murder and supporting a murderer.

Two of my friends are on my side, but six aren't. Am I the butthole? Also, for context, Jeff is five years into a 12-year sentence. So are you the butthole is the question of this post. And ultimately, no, but also your friends aren't either because this is just a moral quandary. You know, there's not really a necessarily a right or wrong answer Some people say it's okay to murder

Horrible monsters other people think it's never okay to murder horrible monsters And I'm guessing that divide will probably fall roughly on the is capital punishment acceptable or not acceptable debate So in my opinion, OP and all the friends who are arguing get zero out of five buttholes. The clear butthole in this story is the boyfriend who did the essaying. He gets five out of five buttholes. As for Jeff, I mean, this is subjective, like I said. Personally, I would not give Jeff a butthole score. I think that is a very reasonable crash out. I'm giving him zero out of five buttholes. However, if there are people out there who think that murder is always wrong, then you know, that's an acceptable thing to believe and you probably would give him a butthole score,

which would be fine. Am I the butthole for rolling my eyes at my ex's wife when she asked me for compassion? I'm a 33-year-old woman and I broke up with the father of my two kids, an 11 year old and 9 year old boy, seven years ago. We weren't married or anything, but our breakup was amicable, and we co-parented on good terms for a couple of years. Then he met his wife, and once I met her, things changed. It was clear she didn't like me, or the fact that my ex and I could get along. When we met, she called me the kid's other mom,

implying she was THE mom. And she glared daggers in my direction when I told her I wasn't the other mom, I was THE mom. She would call them her boys, and she said that she was a boy mom whenever she was speaking to me. She tried to push my ex back and ordered all communication about them to go through her instead of him, and when I refused, she told me that I didn't have that right. push my ex back and ordered all communication about them to go through her instead of him, and when I refused, she told me that I didn't have that right.

Once that fight happened, she started sending me photo updates whenever my ex and her had a day out with the boys, or if they did anything with them for a significant amount of time. She would text me anywhere from 3 to 5 photos and say that she had a great day with her husband and her children. I saved all that because I didn't like her attitude towards me. When I tried talking to my ex about it, he told me that she was trying really hard to be good to the boys and I needed to accept it and help her take on an active second mom role because they had trouble getting the boys bonded to her. I told him how she spoke to me wasn't acceptable

and he said that it came from insecurity and he felt like I was a big enough person to know that. While we were talking, she texted me saying I had no right to discuss her children with her husband. I showed my ex and he told me that it was just her being insecure. But this was a breakdown in our co-parenting relationship because I didn't appreciate the fact that I was supposed to let his wife walk all over me and push me out eventually because it's clear that that's what she wanted.

She'd get upset anytime she wasn't given full parental access, which means when she wasn't able to add her family and friends to the school pick-up list and she wasn't able to change which pediatrician they went to see. My ex never fought me too hard on that stuff, but she sure as hell tried to. She also hated that she couldn't take them out of state to visit her relatives whenever she wanted. She introduced herself as the kid's mom every single time we went to a parent-teacher conference or she showed up at a medical appointment for our youngest who has some health issues. We actually returned to court twice over this.

She and my ex-husband were told by the judge that she was NOT the mother of the children and she did NOT have the right to impersonate me when it came to school or medical settings. The judge also warned that the court would not take kindly to any alienation of the children. My ex's wife tried to claim that I was engaging in it and the proof was in the kids not calling her mom even though they were very young when she became their mom. The judge asked for proof and claimed that wasn't proof. The second time, there was a documented incident of her saying that she was the kids real mom in front of them and the judge restricted certain things that she could do.

She can't do drop-offs of the kids and she can't show up at appointments or school meetings that require both parents. That decision pissed her off immensely. But the good thing is that she contacts me far less now and that works for me. I try to make something like co-parenting work with my ex and I focus on the kids. But apparently, my ex and her have been through some stuff. She found out that she can't have biological children and they were rejected for adoption. The boys have expressed that they don't like her, which I knew a little about because my ex requested permission for family therapy for them, which I consented to because we already had the boys in individual therapy. But therapy isn't helping to foster a closer relationship.

She came to me when they had the boys and info dumped all this onto me at the front door of my house. I almost closed the door on her, which she noticed but kept talking about her issues and then told me to have some compassion for her and at least hear her out and try to help since we're both the mothers of the boys. I rolled my eyes when she asked me for compassion. I didn't even try to hide it, and I had no sympathy for her. None. I can't say that I'm upset that my kids don't like her, seeing as I think it would open up the avenue for her to try harder to push me out and would possibly open them up

to being alienated against me. She got into another argument at the door and I told her to leave. She was insulting me, but I moved away from the door so I couldn't hear her. She followed up with 10 texts that night and then my ex told me that I owed his wife an apology for rolling my eyes at her. Now, maybe I was wrong to roll my eyes at her like that. Maybe I could have been more mature. So am I the butthole?

So she can be passive aggressive to you for years and undermine you and try to come between you and your family and disrespect your role as a mother, but you can't roll her eyes at her one single time. Talk about sensitive. Also, I don't know much about the adoption process, but I'm guessing if someone gets rejected for adoption, then there's probably some pretty major red flags there So I think she's a fruitcake and apparently the adoption agency also thinks she's a fruitcake OP you get zero out of five buttholes I'm giving this lady three out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for making my sister pay back my daughter? I'm a 42 year old woman and my daughter Brooke is 16. She's been reading since she was 5.

She's always loved books and she would spend her allowance that we gave her on the newest book in the latest series she was reading. It's pretty safe to say that her book collection is huge and filled with all kinds of limited edition and special edition books. Recently she used her allowance to get a new special edition version of a book she already had because she's been saving up for it and was very excited to get it when it came out. Well, my sister Lindsay, who's 36, came over on Saturday with her daughter Mariah, who's 13, to spend some time with us because it's been a while since we both got to hang

out and we were just catching up. Mariah started to head to Brooke's room, but I stopped her and told her that Brooke was out and she would be home in 20 minutes, so I suggested that she wait down here with us and tell me how school was going. We talked for about 10 minutes before Mariah said she had to go to the bathroom. We have two bathrooms in our house, one upstairs and one downstairs. Unfortunately, the downstairs one was having some issues, so I told her it was okay to use the one upstairs for now until the one downstairs is fixed. She said okay and went upstairs.

While I was talking to my sister, Brooke came home, said hi, and quickly went upstairs to change. She wasn't up there for five minutes when I heard a loud scream and quickly ran up to check on my daughter. When I got to her room, my jaw dropped when I saw several of her books, including the new special edition one, destroyed with ripped pages everywhere and Brooke in tears at the destruction. Brooke is very non-confrontational and hates arguing or fighting with people, so I stepped

in for her. I told Mariah that she needs to apologize to Brooke, clean up the mess she made, and that she would no longer be welcome in my house. I then turned to my sister and told her that she needed to reimburse Brooke for the books that her daughter destroyed. Lindsay argued with me that Mariah was just a kid and she didn't know what she was doing, but I told her that Mariah is old enough to know right from wrong and what she did was wrong.

Lindsay argued back that if my daughter didn't want her books touched, then they shouldn't have been out. I lost my cool and told her they weren't out. They were put away in her room where Mariah wasn't allowed to be without Brooke's permission. Lindsay refused to pay Brooke back and called me a greedy B-word before leaving with Mariah right behind her. I told my husband about this and he was absolutely on our side. And he agreed that Lindsay needs to pay Brooke back for the books that she lost and can't replace, because they were special or limited edition and she can't get them back. This whole thing has really blown up and my side of the family is telling me that I'm

being too hard on Mariah and she's just a kid but I don't think I am. She destroyed my daughter's property and she needs to know that her actions have consequences. So I'm asking here, was I the butthole for demanding that my sister pay me back? Also, OP adds some clarifying context. Mariah has always had a fascination with Brooke's book collection and last year Brooke let her borrow two books because Mariah said that she wanted to start reading. And since Brooke loves reading so much, she thought it was a good idea to let Mariah borrow

a couple. Well, two weeks passed and the books came back damaged. Nothing like this, but definitely not in good condition anymore. So Brooke told her that she wasn't allowed to borrow her books anymore. Mariah was angry at that and yelled at my daughter and since then Brooke has kept Mariah away from her books. My husband and I think that this is what caused Mariah to do what she did to Brooke's books. My three-year-old daughter has a better understanding of how to not damage other people's property

than this how old was she? Thirteen-year- old girl. You can use the whole she's just a kid she doesn't know what she's doing excuse on a literal toddler who's crawling around on her hands and knees but a 13 year old yeah this was premeditated book murder and you know honestly even if it was a toddler who ripped up the books the The parents would still be responsible. So, Opie, you're in the clear here. You get 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your toxic relatives 2 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling my wife to divorce me because I'm not forcing

adoption on my daughter? I'm a 33-year-old man, and I have an 8-year-old daughter, Ella, with my ex, and I have full custody of her. I married to Laura who's 30 and we have two kids together. Ella's mom is a train wreck. Alcohol, drugs, multiple arrests and lots of personal issues. She hasn't seen Ella for around a year now. She did have supervised visits ordered by the court but she didn't always make those due to hospitalizations, arrests and such. I've been dating Laura since Ella was two, so she's very familiar with Laura. But she doesn't call her mom, and she still loves her mom,

and wishes her mom would get better and be a real mom to her. I have my daughter in therapy to help her process everything. Laura knew how things were when we started dating, and she knew how it was when we got married. I always made it clear that my priority was Ella's safety, health and happiness and I told her I understood if it got to be too much and she didn't want to commit. But she said that she was on board for it all. Only now she's tired of my ex reappearing every so often and she wants to adopt Ella so my ex can't have any access ever again.

My wife does love Ella and sees her as hers just as much as mine. But the main reason she's being so forceful is severing my ex's rights would get her out of the picture until Ella's 18 and chooses to look for her mom on her own. Laura says this is what's best for her and for all of us. But Ella doesn't want to be adopted by Laura. Even if her mom never gets better, she doesn't want to be adopted. I respect this and I won't force it, but Laura isn't happy. She said that we have the other two kids to think of as well and how Ella might pull away

from us if her mom causes more trouble in the future, she might choose her over us. I said that could happen even if she adopts her, and I said that it will definitely happen if we force this. Laura and I have discussed this numerous times now, and she told me that she doesn't see our marriage surviving if I won't talk Ella around to let her do it, or get a therapist who will. She said that she will not keep being just the stepmom when Ella's mom won't put her first, while she has been and doesn't get the benefit of legal stability of adoption.

She said I only have two options and needed to decide which I wanted. I told her to divorce me then because I'm not forcing the adoption on Ella. Laura didn't expect my answer and she told me she thought that I'd offer to speak to Ella more, that I clearly don't care about our marriage. I said I do, but she gave me two options and one option is never happening and I can't control if she divorces me for it. This is so toxic because she's blaming you for the divorce when she's the one who's giving the divorce ultimatum. If she really wants to stay with you, then just stay with you and work it out. As for the whole adoption thing, honestly, I think that both OP and the wife have good points. Yeah, it does make sense that Ella still wants the mom to be a mom. And yeah,

I do understand the wife's point that this woman is a toxic influence on the family and she's kind of potentially dangerous to be around, so it makes sense that she would want to cut her out. So I think we're entering therapy territory there, but when it comes to the ultimatum and the divorce, I'm on your side, OP. So I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes and I'm giving your wife 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. That was r slash am I the butthole and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.