rSlash - r/AITA for Teaching My Kid to Break Rules?

Episode Date: February 21, 2026

0:00 Intro 0:06 Affair 1:57 DEI 5:36 Grief 8:10 Actions 11:14 Dead bed Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Visit medcan.com slash moments to get started. Welcome to R.S. Am I the Butthole where O.P. accidentally destroys someone's marriage. Am I the butthole for asking my mother-in-law for advice on how she dealt with her husband's affair after she said, I needed to work on my marriage when her son cheated on me? I'm currently married to Matthew. He had an affair. I filed for divorce. His mother came to me and said, I needed to work on my marriage and not give up so easy. So I asked her how she dealt with her husband's infidelity in their marriage. She started stammering asking what I was talking about. So I said that five years ago, her husband had an affair.

If she expects me to work through this, I need advice. How did she deal with her husband having an affair? I told her that Matthew had asked me not to talk about it, so I'd kept my mouth shut. She got up and left. From what I heard, she and her husband had a massive fight. Her husband denied everything. Matthew denied that he knew anything about the affair, much less telling me to act like nothing happened. My mother-in-law is pissed at her husband for cheating and at Matthew for keeping her in the dark. For the record, I just wanted her to leave me alone and think about my point of view when I made up the affair.

So some extra information, I only found out about the affair because Matthew gave me Chlamydia. I found out about the other affairs while fighting with him. My father-in-law said that he was golfing with Matthew on Saturdays and that they were taking overnight fishing trips. He did this to help Matthew have excuses for his absences from home. He helped Matthew cheat. Down in the comments, serious echo brings up a really good point. I wonder if the mother-in-law would have given her son

the same advice to work on the marriage if O.P. had been the one who cheated. O.P., I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. Matthew gets 2.5 out of five buttholes for cheating. cheating. I'm glad you're out of that situation because that whole family sounds like a mess. Am I the butthole for telling my sister that I don't have the looks to sleep my way to the top after she called me a DEI hire? I had a traumatic brain injury as a child. It left me with some physical impairments as well as slurred speech. My sister has always thought that I used my condition to get extra attention from our parents and at school. My sister married her boss. I believe they

did everything appropriately. Before anything started, they went to their company HR and she was transferred to a different office. He had no direct control over her employment. I've worked for my dad since I got out of university. It works for me because I didn't have to interview and I can have lunch with the boss sometimes. At work, we have a professional relationship and I don't take advantage. I was recently head hunted by a company my dad does business with. They were impressed with the level of work that was coming out of our shop. I talked to my dad about it, and he said that he would be sad to see me go, but the next step up at his company was his job, and he wasn't going anywhere. So I had his blessing. I accepted the job, and my dad threw me a going away party. All the employees were

invited and friends and family. My sister was there with her family. It was a great time, until she decided to pipe up that my accident had helped me get ahead again, that I was a DEI hire, and I only got the job because I checked off so many spots on the checklist. I always knew how she felt about my mom and dad giving me so much of their time after the accident. But they never ignored her. She got extracurriculars. They went to most of her events at school. They helped pay for her education. I fully acknowledged that there is more to parenting, but from my point of view, they did their best. I just didn't realize that she still thought I got special treatment because of my condition. No company that I know of would hire me for the job I got if I wasn't good at it.

They could be throwing money away. I was furious that she would say this in public. If she had said it privately, we could have talked it out. But she wanted to go public. So I said what I said. Her husband's face went red, and she was speechless. Her kids looked confused. I felt bad when I saw my niece's reaction to what I said. My sister and her family left the party. My dad came over and said that I should have taken the high road and that she was very sensitive about her relationship still. I honestly feel bad about what I said. It wasn't fair and it wasn't true. She hasn't called or accepted any calls from me in over a week. You know, here's the thing about fighting words, is that if you throw out fighting words, sometimes people will fight back. That's just how it goes, man. You jab someone. Don't be

and appalled when they jab you back. That's how it goes. Also, O.P., you're being naive. No one is like, hey, boss, I noticed you slightly glancing at me from across the room. Let's go to HR and disclose it. And then afterwards, we'll go have coffee and explore this connection we have. No, they were bumping uglies for weeks until one of them said we should really disclose this to HR before we get caught and fired. I am like 95% on your side, I do wish you hadn't said it in front of your niece. That kind of stings a little bit. That you

criticize the mom in front of the little girl. I mean, you know, that kind of sucks. However, she started it. So I'm still backing you here. O.P., you get zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your sister one out of five buttholes, I think. Maybe 1.5.

Am I the butthole for not enjoying the birthday gifts that my friend got me that mocked my dead mother? I'm a 20-year-old woman. who lost my mother eight months ago suddenly. I've experienced a wave of emotion as I had a weird relationship with my mother and a lot of unsaid things. I didn't get to say goodbye to her, which pains me every single day. I have a large group of friends, some from high school and some from university, who have all supported me tremendously. One specific friend, Kayla, I met in university. I would not

consider her my best friend, but she has been an amazing support. to me throughout this whole situation with my mom. She's always told me I could come to her for anything and would even pull me aside during social events to make sure I was doing okay. Yesterday, on my birthday, Kayla and a group of my other friends came over unannounced with party decorations, snacks, and even cake. After the emotional morning I had due to the dread that I had for my birthday coming up, this made me cry. I felt so seen and loved in this moment. This lasted up until my friends brought gifts they'd brought. I opened two gifts before opening Kayla's. It was a large box. I opened it with a huge smile on my face, and my friends all looked excited for me to see what was inside. To my shock,

there was a mug and a hoodie. Both had a large, bold font saying, motherless behavior. I was in so much shock I excused myself. I ended up calling in a night and they all left, Kayla muttering, it was supposed to be funny, as she passed me by to leave. As she passed me by to leave, This morning, I woke up with texts from some of my friends at the party, reassuring me that Kayla had no ill intent. And then I saw that Kayla messaged me. The message was lengthy. Including many messages saying things like, It was of good intent.

You embarrassed me. I was trying to lighten the situation. One message in particular that Kayla sent had gotten to me. The message said, After eight months, you should be able to accept your mom's death and joke about it. You're self-sabotaging from holding on, and it's ruining your friendships. I felt so sick. This question is making me wonder if I truly am the butthole, and if I should be over my mother's death.

This is not funny. It is uncool and rude, and there's no expiration date on grief. You can grieve a dead parent forever and ever your whole life. O.P., you get zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving Kayla 1.5 out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for explaining the consequences of his actions to my son? My family lives in Canada. My kid was being bullied at school.

He's a big kid, and I've always told him to resolve his problems with words. I've told him to report bullying to teachers, and if they don't listen, to tell the principal. Also, to tell me and his mom so that we can follow up. My son's after-school program is a Taekwondo class. He's been in Taekwondo since he was in kindergarten. He also plays hockey. There are a group of kids at his school that have been buttholes to my kid and his friends. My kid did the right thing and told the teacher who was monitoring recess.

She told him that the kids were new to Canada and they didn't know how to fit in yet. He went to the principal and got told pretty much the same thing. So he told his mom. She wanted to go confront the parents and she likely would have ended up in custody. She's Irish. Like real Irish from Ireland, not Marky Mark Irish. I told her I'd take care of it. I made an appointment to talk to the principal and teacher along with my son. I went into the meeting with a simple goal, to stop the bullying. The principal and teacher both tried the same excuse on me, that these kids were newcomers and they weren't fully aware of how Canada was different from their home country and what they saw on American TV. I asked what was being done to stop it. They said they talked to the boys. I asked if the parents had been brought in and talked to. He said no. Okay. So I turned to him to me. So I turned to him.

my kid and I explained that in Canada, kids under 12 years old cannot be charged with a crime. In fact, they can't even be arrested. Worst case scenario, if anything happened, he might have to do some community service. The principal and teacher went crazy telling me that I can't tell him that. I asked them if I was lying. They both shut up. I pointed to them and told my kid to remember that they didn't say that I was wrong. I told him to tell me in a week if he was still being bullied. My understanding is that all the bully's parents were called in and told to control their children. The bullies were also given library detention instead of recess for a month. I'm satisfied with the result, but the teacher and principals seemed upset.

My wife thinks that I should have given him the information privately. Uh, O.P., I think your wife doesn't understand the concept of blackmail. In order for O.P. to blackmail the principal and the teachers, hey, you better do what I say, or I'm going to do X. they have to know that they're being blackmailed. Though I will say, I think the principal and the teacher were probably less concerned about O.P.'s implication, which is that O.P. Sun is going to beat the stuffing out of the bullies. And more concerned about O.P. Sun spreading this rumor around the school, and then you have an entire school worth of kids who are stealing and setting fires and things like that because, hey, I can't get in

trouble, so why not? Still, O.P., I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving these teachers and principals who seem to not care that kids are being bullied under their watch, two out of five buttholes. The bullies also get two out of five butholes. Am I the butthole for understanding and not freezing out my dad for leaving our mom over a dead bedroom? This is a weird post to make because honestly it's weird to know such details about my parents, but such as life, so here goes. I'm a 27-year-old guy, and my parents have recently announced that they're in divorce proceedings. I was a surprise, so they're still pretty young, both in their late 40s. I have a younger sister who's 24 and recently married and freaking out. Apparently, my dad is leaving my mom because for the

last three years, they basically never passionately hug. She would have no interest, and I guess it went from once every couple of months to in the last year she straight up told him she's not interested in doing it anymore. He asked for an open marriage, and she took that as a sign that he would sheet and filed for divorce. It sucks, but I get it from both sides. I'm not really trying to get in the middle of it, to be honest. I've always gotten along fine with both of them, but my dad and I have always been super close, just way more in common and the more involved parent growing up. So while it sucks that they're splits, I just want to continue to have a separate relationship with both of them. My sister has taken a different approach and hates my dad right now. She thinks that he's being a total

butthole and just saying a lot of mean things about him. I'm trying to stay out of that and just let her heal how she needs to. I recently had my dad over for a dinner with my wife and our two young kids. He's doing well and has already started dating someone and I'm honestly happy for him. He's still young and I don't think that he should be alone forever since it didn't work out with my mom. I guess my dad posted to a story a picture of him with his grandkids to his Facebook. So my sister and mom saw it and are mad at me for still being so tight with him. My sister is calling him a cheater and saying I'm taking the cheater side, and my mom is saying similar stuff.

I feel like I'm just being an adult about the situation, though. I don't know. Am I really in the wrong here? My wife says that she can see where my sister is coming from, but thinks that I'm being more logical about it. I wanted to get some neutral perspectives. It's very weird that O.P. knows all this information about his parents. I have to wonder which one of the parents disclosed this information to their kids because that seems kind of like a manipulation tactic.

Still, I don't really feel like this is cheating. Saying, hey, I'm thinking about seeing other people, and then before that happens, you get divorced, isn't cheating. It's like, at worst, it's pre-cheating. But I think realistically, it's just the beginning of the end of the marriage. O.P., I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I don't really understand what your sister's problem is.

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