rSlash - r/AITA for Thinking My Friend is a Predator?

Episode Date: March 16, 2026

0:00 Intro 0:07 Friends house 4:42 Pool 7:14 Family dinner 9:23 Plans 12:19 Shampoo Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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We speak the same language you do. Business. So join the more than 400,000 Canadian entrepreneurs who already count on us. And contact Desjardin today. We'd love to talk. Business. Welcome to R slash am I the butthole, where OP is pretty sure that a stepfather likes kids a little bit too much. Am I the butthole for being honest with another mom about why my daughter isn't allowed to go to her friend's house?

I have a daughter, Elena, who's 13. Elena has a friend, Kennedy, who's new at school this year. Kennedy's mom works in the school office. So our house is kind of the house. Elena doesn't have a big group of friends, but as long as the kids can get their own snacks and not make noise, anyone's welcome. Because of this, Elena never really goes to anyone else's house.

All our friends come to us. We've even hosted her friend's birthday sleepovers. A couple of weeks ago, though, Elena asked if she could sleep over at Kennedy's house as the next day was a family party, and Kennedy had been allowed to invite a friend. I said sure. Again, her mom works in the school office. Whenever she's come to pick Kennedy up, she's been polite.

I didn't see an issue. But when I went to drop Elena off, my opinion changed. Kennedy's stepdad is the one who answered the door. And I'm not kidding when I say I haven't ever felt so immediately disturbed by a person. I can't even explain why. My stomach just lurched. I immediately felt like I needed to hold some kind of conversation with him so that I could at least get a better read on him. I made some small talk on the porch, during which he proceeded to open an alcoholic drink and flirtatiously not believe I was old enough to have a teenage daughter. After asking me twice how old my daughter was and telling me how similar we look. He also demanded in front of me that Kennedy changed her clothes because she was wearing shorts in her own house.

Kennedy's mom came home while I was on the porch, which made me feel slightly better, so I left. But when I got home, I told my husband that he was going to pick Elena up this evening because she was not spinning the night there. We made an excuse about a forgotten plan for the next day and fetched Elena before dinner. I don't care if everyone thinks I'm crazy or judges me for not letting her stay on no evidence. I grew up where if you had a feeling, you followed it. My husband agreed with me that Elena wouldn't be going over there again. So last week, I was at school pickup and bumped into the mom of one of Elena's other friends, whom I'm casual friends with, mom friends basically.

She mentioned she hadn't seen Elena at Kennedys that Sunday at the party. I said, no, Elena hadn't slept over. My friend asked if it was because of anything in particular, and I was honest and said I just don't want her going there because the stepdad gives me the creeps. I told my friend about the interaction, and she thanked me for telling her and said she'd probably do the same as me. I thought nothing more of it. It didn't come up again. Except yesterday at school pickup, Kennedy's mom came outside and confronted me. She said another mom was now not letting her daughter come over because of males in the house without the mother home, and that she knows it was

my fault because I was the one who met her husband. She says she knows I lied to pick Elena up early. She accused me of being a snob because Kennedy is at the school on free tuition, which she gets because her mom works there, and of judging her family based on where they live. None of that was true, but there was no convincing her. I guess I didn't adequately defend myself because first I was in public and I didn't want a scene. And second, because being a snob probably sounded better than, your husband seems predatory. She then said that I was isolating Kennedy by poisoning the other mom. That I'm not even sure I can say is untrue. But I would want another mom to tell me, you can do what you want with the information.

But if I had never met the stepdad and someone else felt as uncomfortable as I felt, I would want them to let me know. That's why I told her, because we're all just trying to look out for our kids. But Kennedy's mom seemed more upset than angry, and I get that this is embarrassing for her. I also know that I don't have any actual evidence that this man did anything. So now I feel like maybe I was out of line sharing my completely unfounded opinion with my friend. Am I? The top comment from Scorp Rising is,

I would rather be seen as an isolating snob than let my child get R-worded by a man. True facts. As a parent, it's your job to be the bad guy if necessary to make sure they're safe. I mean, parents also have to be the bad guy when a 13-year-old girl wants to go out to a college drinking party. That's just how it is. You just got to do the right thing and protect kids, even though it might make people temporarily hate you. O.P., you get zero out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for beating my date in a game of pool?

So, for context, I am quite good at pool. I play regularly and against good opponents, two of which are in my country's nationals. So I went on a date with a girl last Saturday. We went to a pool bar, as she mentioned she likes playing pool. I said I know a spot. I picked her up at her place and we went to the bar. We got some drinks, settled, and then we played our first game. I was taking it easy, just enjoying the moment.

We played a few more rounds than eight. While talking, I mentioned the two mates of mine who play nationals, so she then said, Next game, don't go easy on me. We played a few more. I made it a bit more challenging for her to win. Nothing impossible, just a bit more of a challenging game. and just before we left around 10.30, we racked one last game and I decided to just play it normally.

I cleared the table on the break, not to show off, but just for fun. We finished our drinks, and I paid the bill and we left. On the ride back to her place, she was extremely quiet, like noticeably less talkative. I thought nothing of it. She must have been tired. I dropped her off and went home. When I got home, I saw a message from her saying, I asked you not to go easy on me, but I didn't mean turn it into a statement. It honestly felt like an ego thing at the end, and it made me uncomfortable. I was taken aback by the message, and haven't heard from her since after sending her a message explaining that it was nothing like that.

The last game wasn't me trying to show off or anything of the sort. I had a good break. Sunk two stripes and had good positioning on the rest of them. Seeing as how she said, don't go easy, I just played it out how I would normally. Am I the butthole? Down in the comments, I'm seeing a couple of different You're the Butthole statements. Some people say that O.P. is intentionally

manipulating her. Other people are saying that when she said don't go easy on me, he gave her false confidence by only kind of going easy on her. I don't know. To me, this feels like a not-the-butthole move to me. I mean, it's definitely the move that will not get you laid. If that's your goal,

O.P., but like, what's the big deal? The guy can play pool the way he wants to play pool. He can go easy or go kind of easy or go serious. Honestly, I think the girl in this story is kind of being a baby. She got rocked. What's the big deal? Sometimes it happens. And getting rocked after you tell the other person to take off the training weights is kind of on you. I mean, yeah, O.P. could have at least said, hey, heads up, I'm really, really good. But does not saying that make him a butthole? I don't really think so. O.P., I'm giving you and her zero out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling

my sister-in-law that I won't be going out to eat with her family again if her husband and youngest are going to? Let me start off by saying that I have a great relationship with my sister-in-law and her older kids, ages 18 and 16. Though I had a great relationship with her husband who's 46 and her youngest who's 13 until last night's dinner. We went to a nicer Italian restaurant and I was completely embarrassed and furious with the way they acted. The husband was complaining about everything from where he had to park, why we had to wait when we had a reservation, to the prices and menu options. We get enough appetizers for everyone to have at least two of each thing, and he grabs half of all of them because he couldn't wait to eat. Then complains about

whatever he can with the food. The 13-year-old is wearing pajama pants and a torn-up hoodie because Dad said that it was fine. It wasn't, but they still sat us. The waiter comes to take our order, and the husband orders some crazy, modified pizza. and complained when they charged accordingly. And the 13-year-old couldn't order for themselves. I don't know why, but whatever. Me and my sister-in-law have both worked in restaurants for years, and this is the part that made me want to leave.

The husband has both earbuds in watching anime at the table and shakes his empty Mountain Dew Glass at the waiter, then laughs about how he didn't even have to say anything to get a refill. The check comes, and one of the advertisers that I was paying for was on their bill. It's an easy fix. But the husband yells, How hard is it to do it right the first time? That's when I almost lost it and just followed the waiter to the POS and paid for me and my two oldest's food. I said bye to the sister-in-law, the two older ones, and left. My sister-in-law later called me and asked if they did something wrong, so I laid it out

about how embarrassing her husband and youngest were. I was told that no one else has a problem with them. Then I get a call from my mother-in-law, thanking me for being the only other person to call at least the husband out for his trash. O.P., your brother-in-law sounds like an insufferable man-child. You get zero out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling my girlfriend that I'm not canceling my plans last minute to do a manual labor? Back in December, I, a 28-year-old guy, built custom shelves in my basement for my physical media collection, DVDs, VHS, and Blu-ray. and my popcorn bucket collection since I'm a movie buff. My girlfriend, Elizabeth, who's 27, loved them and showed them off to her best friend, Sarah.

Unbeknownst to me, Sarah and Elizabeth made plans for me to build shelves in Sarah's house, because Sarah has a pretty large book collection, and she's tired of buying cheap bookshelves online. I didn't find out until last Friday night when Elizabeth called me and told me not to make plans for the weekend, because I need to go over to Sarah's and build her shelves. I told her absolutely not because I already had plans for my weekend. My best friend was coming back into town after being away for three years. He got married and moved up to Michigan, so this was my first chance to see him in person in years. We made plans to go see the return of the king re-release, then go camping.

Plans she knew about a month in advance. Elizabeth got pissed and said it wouldn't be a big deal if I can't. because it's just a movie and I can watch it anytime. So I need to cancel because Sarah already bought the wood and arranged for pickup at Home Depot on 9 a.m. that Saturday morning. I said that's not my problem. You don't get to decide what I do in my free time. If you ask and I agree, that's one thing,

but you don't get to choose for me. She started fussing, saying I'm missing out on a chance to score brownie points with Sarah. And I told her, I'm almost 30 years old. I don't care about scoring brownie points with anyone. I don't need Sarah's approval. I need yours. And since we've been dating for a year, I clearly already have it. Either way, my plans weren't changing. My buddy that came down had plans with his family, so our trip was going to be our only chance to see each other. That's more important to me than building some shelves. She was pissed, but I told her you don't get to just volunteer me for things. This isn't fair to me. My buddy and I went out, so

our movie, went camping and had a great time. Sarah never got her wood picked up, and I haven't built those shelves. Elizabeth has been catty with me ever since, saying I embarrassed her. I don't feel like I did. I think I set a boundary, and she doesn't like it. Because, yeah, I could build the shelves, but if you don't respect me enough to ask me directly, just ambush me the night before with plans you made that don't include me, why should I? I don't think we're in breakup territory over this, But I think we are in fighting territory over this. If my wife tried to pull this stun on me, I'd be mad, especially since I don't know how to build shelves.

O.P., you get zero out of five buttholes. Your entitled girlfriend gets one out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for not telling my friend that my shampoo had green hair dye in it? I'm a guy with a bright green mohawk. I've had green hair for a while. I have to use a lot of hair spray to get it to stick up, so I have to wash my hair almost every day. This makes the green fade pretty fast, so I mix green hair dye with my shampoo and conditioner to make the color last longer.

This is a common thing that people with colored hair do. Anyway, one of my friends stayed the night at my apartment after a show that we went to because she missed her bus. In the morning, she asked if she could shower. She obviously didn't have anything of hers because she hadn't planned to stay the night, so I let her use my stuff. I showed her how to use my shower and told her to use my husband's shampoo and conditioner because, quote, mine is for my green hair, and she said okay. I gave her a towel, left, and she took a shower. When she came out, I heard her gasp and scream, and I asked her if she was okay. She started screaming that her hair was green, and sure enough, her blonde hair had green splotches all throughout.

I asked her why she used my shampoo and conditioner when I told her it was for my green hair, and she said she thought I meant that it was a good, special shampoo, and I just wanted to keep it for myself and that I should have specifically told her it had green dye in it. Okay, so she lied to you, right? You told her not to use the bottle. She said, okay, which was an intentional lie, and then she did it anyways. F her and her ugly green hair. O.B., you get zero out of five buttholes. That was R slash Am I the Butthole. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. Getting ready for a game means being ready for anything, like packing a spare stick.

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