rSlash - r/AITA for Waking up My Scumbag Neighbors at 2 AM?

Episode Date: May 30, 2026

0:00 Intro 0:06 Disappointed 2:27 Fat 4:50 Communication 7:57 Parking 9:47 Extra food Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In Toronto, every arrival is a statement, and nothing says it better than this. Cadillac Optic was the number one selling luxury EV in Canada for 2025. Find your rhythm across a seamless 33-inch display and an immersive 19-speaker AKG surround audio system. This city demands agility, and Optic delivers with precision to make every drive extraordinary. Let's take the Cadillac. Find out more at Cadillac Canada.ca. Luxury sales claim based on S&P Global Mobility Canadian New Vehicle Total Registrations for calendar year 2025 for the Cadillac definition of luxury. Have you ever had a nagging feeling that you're right about something, but you haven't actually done the research? Are weather apps getting less accurate?

While on No Such Thing, three best friends and journalists settle our dumb arguments and yours by actually doing the research. Don't blame me. I'm not the weather company. Hello. You can search for no such thing with Manny, Noah, and Devin on your iHeart app or wherever you listen to podcasts. Welcome to R slash Am I the Butthole, where Opie has an encounter with a nasty 10-year-old. Am I the butthole for telling a little girl that her parents should be disappointed in her? Earlier today, I was doing some grocery shopping, and I was just finishing up to head to the checkout to pay for my items. A little girl, probably 11 or 12, and a friend who looked about the same age, came up to me and asked if I'd be willing to make a purchase for them. It immediately raised red flags, so I asked what type of?

of purchase. She tried to beat around the bush for a couple of seconds, saying, it's not actually for me, it's for my friend, but I promised her I'd get it for her. I told her that I would not be making any purchase for her that she cannot make for herself, because I had a feeling that it was for alcohol. She got a little irritated with me and asked why. I told her that if she could go ask her mom, and her mom would say no, it was not my place to say yes. I made a comment about how she needed to be a bit more mindful with coming up to people that she doesn't know in this manner and that it can be dangerous. She got incredibly angry and started cussing me out. She called me a fat cow and a dried up old B word. I'm 24, so whatever. But I went to walk away and as I turned around, I heard her say,

she's probably a slur for lesbian too. I about lost it. I turned back around, stood right in front of her, leaned down so I was on her level and said, little girl, you need to go home. to your parents right now and tell them that they should be disappointed in your behavior. That is not how you speak to people. She started laughing and her and her friend walked away. I feel like I'm the butthole in my response to her. I feel like I should have just ignored her and walked away. But in my mind, if I don't at least attempt to shut that behavior down when I see it, I'm not doing my due diligence to society. Some people's children are never told no, and they feel comfortable saying anything they want. I don't know why a 12-year-old,

has me shaken up, but is this really what kids are like right now? I don't have any yet, but that scares me. What's making them like this? Hey, O.P., I think the main thing to keep in mind is that anyone can be a jerk, right? Men, women, old, young. Being 11 or 12 doesn't give you free title to just be a jerk to people. So I'm on your side. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving the little jerks 1.5 out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole? Am I the butthole for telling my daughter-in-law to stop crying after she got called fat. My daughter-in-law is a very sensitive soul, to put it lightly. She'll end up in tears at basically any pushback or any slightly rude remark.

It can be extremely frustrating because anything brought up will end up with her in tears and you looking like a huge butthole. One example, she has a habit of not taking off her shoes before going into people's homes. About a year ago, she was tracking mud into my home, and I told her to take off her shoes. She started crying because my tone was too much. I didn't yell her anything. My daughter was there and agreed that I wasn't mean when I said to take off her shoes. It was a whole thing, and my son gave me a whole lecture about how I can't say things like that. I told her to take off her shoes. She isn't a quiet cryer either. It's loud, and everyone notices the moment it happened.

Then everyone needs to comfort her and you're a dick for making her cry. There are more examples of this and the whole families had to deal with it. The issue was this weekend get-together for my other daughter-in-law's birthday. The birthday was going well and there are a lot of young kids. One of the kids, four or five, can be rude. His parents are working on it. He doesn't have a filter. During the event, when she was helping pass out food, he called her fat.

The parents grabbed him and she was. She started crying. It was getting loud, so I pulled her off to the side and told her to stop crying. I don't want her to cause a scene at a seven-year-old's birthday. It was a little kid's remark, and I told her not to come out of the room unless she's composed. She ended up going to the car and didn't come back to the party. My son and I got into an argument. My point is that she's a grown adult, and she's crying over a four-year-old saying something mean.

He's telling me to apologize, but at this point, I'm not. Yo, what did this girl want? The right to ruin a seven-year-old's birthday party? Does she want the seven-year-olds to come over and be like, I'm so sorry that you're sad? Do you want some of my birthday cake? I mean, grow up, get over it, man. Go to the other room, have a good cry, compose yourself, and come back.

Don't take over the poor girl's birthday party. That's so rude. Am I the butthole for not telling my parents I was hospitalized, for a week to prove a point. I live in another city while my parents, both in their late 50s, still live in my hometown. We actually have a really good relationship overall.

I usually fly home every Christmas, we talk often, and there's no major family drama. But there's one thing about them that has driven me and everyone else in our family insane for years. They're completely careless with their phones. They'll leave their phones in another room all day,

leave them on silent by accident, or forget to charge them so the battery dies for an entire day. Sometimes, I'll call five or six times before someone finally answers hours later. I've talked to them about it many times because they don't have a landline, so their cell phones are literally the only reliable way to reach them. Yeah, I understand they came from an older generation and aren't exactly tech savvy. They didn't grow up attached to their phones the way younger people did, but they're not that old, and I still feel like if your cell phone is your only form of communication, you should at least keep it charged and within hearing distance.

I've told them things like, what if there's an emergency, or what if someone urgently needs to contact you? They always brush it off and act like I'm overreacting. Last month, I got severe food poisoning and ended up hospitalized for a week. It wasn't life-threatening, but I was pretty miserable. While I was in the hospital, I tried calling both of them multiple times over two days. No answer. One phone was dead, the other apparently was left somewhere else in the house. At that point, I got frustrated and honestly just gave up trying. Now, to be fair, I could have contacted my aunt, who lives near them, and she absolutely would have told them. But after years of this same issue, I decided not to. Part of me thought, maybe this is the only way they'll finally understand why people, keep their phones accessible. Yesterday I was talking to my mom on the phone and casually mentioned, oh yeah, last month I was hospitalized for food poisoning for about a week. She completely freaked out

and got really angry that I never told them. I explained that I did try to contact them repeatedly, but they didn't answer. She said that I still should have called my aunt because this was an emergency. I admitted that I could have done that, but I intentionally didn't because I wanted them to finally realize how irresponsible they are with their phones. That made her even angrier. She said that I used my hospitalization to prove a point, and I scared them unnecessarily. My dad thinks we're both being stubborn. I honestly don't think that it was that huge of a deal, since I recovered fine and it wasn't life-threatening. But now I'm wondering if I took the lesson too far. Opie, I don't know why you were making excuses for your parents. 50s isn't really that old. They grew

with plenty of technology. They grew up with cell phones, internet. So the problem isn't them being not tech savvy, it's just they're irresponsible and lazy. You get zero out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for waking up the whole family downstairs at 2 a.m. because they thought they could park and block my driveway overnight? I live in a duplex in New York City. We rent the downstairs. We're chill, and we don't mind their friends throwing parties or staying over, as long as they respect the property and keep the noise down at night. But a couple of months ago, one of their guys blocked the driveway around 7 p.m. I asked him nicely to move it and not to do it again, but he clearly didn't care.

Fast forward a few days ago. I get dropped off at 2 a.m. and see his car completely blocking my driveway again, even going over a bit onto the neighbor's side. I stood outside for five minutes, debating whether to just have him ticketed and towed, or wake up the whole house. I chose option two and blasted the doorbell for 10 seconds. They do have a kid who goes to school the next day. The neighbors answered, and I told her the car was blocking me and I needed to leave. It took the guy five minutes to come out and he was visibly pissed. He was like, you really have to wake everyone up for that? I told him that he's blocking me in

and I needed to leave, and if he does it again, I'll have it towed. He said that I'll be the one who has to go pay for it, and I told him, effing watch me. He kept cursing at me, so I repeated, that's why you're listening and moving your car. Right, yeah, keep it moving, buddy. This guy's like 40, and I'm in college. He moved the car, and I just walked back upstairs

and watched the security cameras. I knew he was pissed when he looked at the driveway, and both of my cars were still there. Am I the butthole? Nah, this one's easy. The guy broke the law. You can't block cars in like that. So if anything, you did the guy a favor by merely waking him up instead of having the car towed.

Am I the butthole for secretly buying extra food for my niece because her brothers eat everything first? My brother's family has been staying with me and my wife for around six months while they save money after moving from another state. It's been okay and we get along pretty well. They have three kids, two boys and one girl. The boys are both athletes, track and basketball, and they eat a ton. They're teenagers and constantly hungry. Whenever food is made, they usually go back for multiple servings and they demolish snacks really quickly.

Something I started noticing, though, was that their daughter, whom I believe is 14, would regularly complain that there was barely anything left for her by the time that she got to it. I also noticed that my brother and his wife usually gave the boys noticeably bigger portions during meals. I figured it was just maybe because the boys are bigger and more active. but I eventually asked my brother about it because it seemed kind of excessive. He told me the boys need the calories because they're athletes and still growing,

while his daughter doesn't really do sports and sits around most of the day. He also said that he doesn't want her getting overweight, as she isn't physically active much outside of normal school activities. I found what my brother said to be very strange, maybe even emotionally damaging to their daughter with the way they handle food. So after that happened, I started buying some extra snacks and drinks and keeping them in the main part of the house. I quietly told my niece that she could help herself whenever she wanted to so that she wouldn't feel like she had to compete with her brothers for food.

My brother found out about this and completely lost it. He accused me of making him look like some terrible parent who was starving his daughter. He said that she already gets three large meals a day that his wife cooks and that they do buy her snacks, but she doesn't need to pig out on them. He also said that if I was going to buy extra food for one of his kids, I should be letting the boys have access to it too. I told him the entire reason I did it was because the boys already eat most of everything in the house, and his daughter was the only one consistently being left out.

Am I the butthole? I'm not really sure if I should have gotten involved. I really like this post from safety fluids, not the butthole. This is both sexist and also an example of how sexism is failing the boys too. The boys should be taught to pay attention and make sure everyone gets food and that it's shared before finishing something. And you're right, your niece shouldn't be taught that having a few snacks will make her fat or that she doesn't deserve as much food as her brothers. That was our slash am I the butthole. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. Hey y'all, it's Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair.

Ever order furniture online and wonder, what if? Like, what if it doesn't hold up? That sofa was four days old. You should have ordered from Wayfair. With Wayfair, there's no what if. Just style you love and quality you can trust. Visit Wayfair.ca. Wayfair, every style, every home.