rSlash - r/AITA Friends Are Mad I Stopped a Kidnapping

Episode Date: May 20, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:05 Kidnapped 2:54 Trash 5:07 You pay 6:37 Wedding 11:35 Birthday 15:24 Comment Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever? Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, to support life-saving progress in mental health care. From May 26th to 30th, Canadians will rise as one and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So, who will you rise for?

Register today at SunriseChallenge.ca. That's SunriseChallenge.ca. When I found out my friend got a great deal on a designer dress from Winners, I started wondering, is every fabulous item I see from Winners, like that woman over there with the Italian leather handbag, is that from Winners? Ooh, or that beautiful silk skirt. Did she pay full price? Or those suede sneakers? Or that luggage? Or that trench? Those jeans? That jacket? Those heels? Is anyone paying full price for anything?

Stop wondering. Start winning. Winners find fabulous for less. Welcome to r slash am I the butthole where OP stops a kidnapping. Am I the butthole for destroying my best friend's proposal because I believe she was being kidnapped? So this actually happened last weekend and I'm still shaking. My best friend Emily, who's 29, has been dating her boyfriend Chris, who's 31, for about 4 years. I'm a 28 year old woman and I love Emily to death and I've always supported their relationship even though Chris is eccentric. He loves surprises and stuff. Think flash mobs and scavenger hunts that no one asked for. Anyways, I was visiting Emily. We were walking around catching up when this unmarked white van comes up next to us. Two masked men jump out and grab her.

She begins screaming. I freak out. So I did what any sane, frightened human being would do. I grabbed my pepper spray, legal where I am, and yelled bloody murder and went wild. I sprayed one dude in the face, kicked another in the shin, and literally pulled Emily back by the coat while yelling for 911.

Turned out it was Chris and two of his buddies. They were attempting this strange prank kidnapping into surprise proposal situation because Emily wanted a proposal like in the movies. Chris was yelling, crying over the pepper spray. Emily was scared until the cops arrived. It was chaotic. Now Chris is angry. He tells me I ruined the most significant moment of their lives and embarrassed him in front of everyone. Emily tells me she understands why I freaked out, but wishes I'd read the room? But like, how was I supposed to know it seemed real?

She was crying they had masks and it was a literal van Everyone's acting like I overreacted but I genuinely thought that she was being trafficked Am I the butthole for spoiling the proposal? What I want to know is why didn't Chris just tell OP that he was going to do this? Well, actually now that I think about it I do know because she'd be like hey don't do that that's nuts I'm gonna call the cops and then he wouldn't get to do his prank. Okay so never mind on that. Honestly Chris is lucky he didn't get shot straight up. And how's OP supposed to read the room with her psychic powers? I'm guessing that OP's friend doesn't really actually believe that. That she's just defending her boyfriend because she's in love and she feels bad about the spoil

proposal and she's basically just taking her boyfriend's side, which I can kind of understand, even though it's a very, very stupid thing to say. OP, you get zero out of five bottles. Chris gets three out of five bottles. Honestly, I think you sound like an amazing friend. If I got kidnapped, I would want you to be my friend to protect me in that situation. Our next reddit post is from NoSherbert. So, every now and then, I buy a random frozen meal to keep on hand for lunch emergencies.

I had one in the freezer for a month. My husband saw it a few weeks ago and asked if that was his. And I said, no, that's mine. Fast forward to yesterday. I hear him nuking something in the kitchen. Then he loudly declares that it's absolutely disgusting, tosses it down the sink and starts whining about not having lunch. I hadn't eaten that frozen meal and I didn't think that I would need it this week. So I thought, well, if I let him have it, he'll have something to eat and I'll just grab another one next time I'm at the store. I offer him the meal I was saving.

He asks which one. I say the white bean chicken chili. He goes, that's what I just threw away. Cue my rage! Wait, you took my lunch without asking and then threw it away when you didn't like it? He says, you wouldn't have liked it. It was completely different from chili. I'm like, yeah, I know it's white bean chicken chili. It's not supposed to be like regular chili. That's why I bought it. His response. Well, it was disgusting. I said, you didn't even check what it was.

Didn't remember that it was mine. And when you didn't like it, you threw it away instead of asking me about it. He goes, but you offered it to me. I reply, yeah, I offered it because I thought you had nothing else. But now that I know you just grabbed my meal without asking and didn't even eat it and threw it out instead and didn't even ask if I wanted it when you decided you weren't going to eat it, I'm a little pissed. He then got mad and started telling me that I was setting him up. That no matter what he did, he was wrong and I was being unreasonable. He told me to pick a lane. My question is, am I the butthole because I got mad at him after I discovered he took my lunch

and then threw it away even though there was a brief moment where he appeared to have nothing to eat for lunch so I offered him mine. This is pretty easy. There's a big difference between someone stealing $20 from your wallet versus you offering them $20 and you give it to them and they, you know, waste it on whatever. Your husband's a thief who gets mad at his victim for being mad that their stuff got stolen. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes.

I'm giving your husband two out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for not covering my friend's meal when she ordered more? So me and my group of friends went out to eat after midterm. It was a casual place where you pay at the end, and everyone was ordering whatever they wanted. I got something small as usual because I'm trying to save some cash. So I had water and a basic pasta that was on special. A few others did the same.

But one of my friends ordered an appetizer, a big entree, and a dessert. And she got a drink too. No judgment, she can do her, but it definitely added up. When the check came, she suddenly goes, let's split it evenly. And I was like, what? I thought we were all paying for what we ordered. She said that it'd be easier and that it's what we always do, which is not true by the way.

I told her I only brought enough for what I ate plus a tip. She rolled her eyes and said it's not that deep and that I'm being cheap over a few bucks. But it wasn't a few bucks. It would have almost doubled what I was planning to spend. I didn't budge and paid for my stuff only. My other friends didn't care and split the bill evenly. Now she's being super passive and told our other friends that I embarrassed her in front of everyone and made her look greedy. But like, she assumed that we'd cover part of her extra food without even asking.

Am I the butthole? OP, your friend is just guilt tripping you into giving her money, plain and simple. Your other friends may agree with it now, but let's see how they feel after she tries this trick a few more times. You get 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your friend 1 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for laughing at my stepson and ruining his wedding? For context, I've been married to my husband for just over 20 years. We started dating when my stepkids were 5 and 3. Our kids are Adam who's 28, step kid number 1, Ben who's 26, step kid number 2, and then Charles who's 20, David who's 17, and Ellie who's 13,

who are ours. Our oldest, Adam, is getting married at the end of summer to his fiance, Alice who's 27. We've all been very excited for them. All the kids have roles for the wedding. Charles is the best man, the other two boys are groomsmen and Ellie is a junior bridesmaid. Last weekend we had a dinner for my husband's birthday. All the kids attended along with Alice. The topic of the wedding came up again and this is where it started to go downhill. Ellie brought up that she was so excited to go dress shopping and that we planned to go to a bigger city in a few weeks to get her a dress and me a dress as well. At that, Alice looked at Adam sideways and responded that we only needed to worry about

one dress, Ellie's. Ellie kind of laughed and said, What are you expecting mom to wear? A suit? Alice responded with, Hope he isn't going. You know we're keeping our guest list very limited to only family and a few close friends. What?

Adam and Alice have been to our house numerous times for holidays, dinners, just to say hi since they've been engaged. This has never been brought up. Pretty quickly, things escalated. The Cliff Notes version is that our middle son, Charles, asked them to clarify if they were choosing to uninvite me now or if I was never invited. Alice confirmed the latter. Why?

Adam says it's because I'm not his mom. Charles, David, and Ellie argued with Adam and Alice that none of them were going to go if I wasn't invited. That it was cruel to leave me out given I've been his parent for a majority of his life and I loved him like my own. My husband and I admittedly sat there for a minute just shocked. Adam finally turned to my husband and said, well, my husband told him that he wouldn't be going either.

Adam then turned to me and asked if I was really going to let everyone ruin his wedding on my behalf. Here's where I might be the butthole. I just laughed. I don't know what came over me, but the entire thing was just so ridiculous that laughing was the only thing I could get out. I told my husband I'd be waiting in the car and left, and then promptly bawled my eyes out. I told my husband I'd be waiting in the car and left and then promptly balled my eyes out. Anyways, Charles, David and Ellie are not talking to Adam. Adam called my husband yesterday

to try to smooth things over. He was still adamant that I'm not invited and it's their wedding. He also requested I apologize for laughing at him. My husband told him, Tough. It's their wedding and they can invite whoever they want, but they can't control who will actually go. He said that they owe me an apology and that Adam should be ashamed of himself. I'm getting texts now asking what the hell I did and why I'm being a step monster and ruining the wedding. Am I the butthole? Down in the comments, people are asking if there's some context missing here because it feels like there's a grudge here that we don't know about. And OP clarifies,

When Adam called, my husband did ask him if I had done anything, if it was related to his biological mom. She's never really gotten along with us. Or if I'd overstepped in any way. Adam says, no, it's just that they want family only. Their stepdad is invited as far as we know. Alright. I was a stay at home mom for most of my stepkids childhood and we had 50-50 custody. My husband has always worked a lot but has been as involved as possible. The house and child rearing mostly fell to me though. I love our kids to pieces. I thought we made it clear from the beginning that I'm another parent that loves them,

not a replacement mom. We've never had any issues and I thought up until now that we're particularly close. Our communication has slowed since he met Alice, but he was calling me about once or twice a week prior to this. Alice and I have gone shopping on occasion, gotten lunch. I even went with her to the floors for the wedding because her mom wasn't available and Adam got called into work. There has to be something or someone causing an issue and my husband and I are baffled. Well, I don't think it's much of a mystery. I think it's very, very clear that the biological mom does not want OP there,

and she either threatened or implied or pressured the two married people, the two people who are getting married, to cut OP out, and that's more than likely the cause of all this. Whatever the case, OP, you're completely justified. Your stepson is being a real toolbag here as is the bride-to-be. I don't know why they're blaming you when all you did was just sit there and everyone else took your side. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your stepson and the bride-to-be 2 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for calling my husband a disgrace after he said my miscarriage ruined

his birthday? Whoa. I miscarried yesterday and this baby was so wished for, so it's all so fresh and I'm sobbing right now. So I apologize in advance if it doesn't make a whole lot of sense. My husband turned 27 yesterday. I'm a 26 year old woman and I was pregnant with mine and my husband's second child. Yesterday I was 8 weeks pregnant.

The day before I was born, I with mine and my husband's second child. Yesterday I was 8 weeks pregnant. The day before yesterday we saw a beautiful heartbeat flicking on the screen and today I am devastated. I was playing with our 2 year old when I felt a pressure in my lower abdomen. Not long after I noticed bleeding and I let my husband know immediately that I had discomfort and bleeding. Before long, I passed what I believed was the fetus and I messaged him, I think I lost the baby. I wanted to keep him updated and I guess I was seeking some kind of

emotional support. I asked if he could come home and he said, Of course, if it's urgent. I said, I think it is because the pain and bleeding is getting worse and I'm starting to feel lightheaded and our two-year-old is unattended in his playroom right now. We have no friends or family near that I could call who would get to us quicker than he could. I had to clean myself up, crawl downstairs to take paracetamol, make my son his lunch, and then put him down for a nap. At this point, my husband still isn't home. He was working approximately 30 minutes away and took closer to 60 minutes to get back.

Hours later when I asked, it was because he stopped at Tesco to pick up some beers. I ended up very poorly, losing lots of blood, lightheaded, vomiting, etc. And he had to take me to the hospital. By the time I was discharged, it was almost 8 pm. Last week, I had said that I'd make him his favorite dinner for his birthday, which he reminded me of when we were almost home. I said I wasn't feeling up to it and that whatever takeaway he wants is on me. He said, for F's sake, under his breath and then muttered something along the lines of, this BS has ruined my birthday. He didn't stop to get any takeaway.

He just drove straight home. He put our son to bed and I went to bed and I'm not sure what he did after. I didn't see him this morning as he had already left for work. He hasn't messaged me all day and he got home a few hours ago and he's been giving me the silent treatment. I tried to speak to him about an hour or so ago and he ignored me and I called him a disgrace. He slammed the bedroom door and locked me out of the bedroom. His mom has since messaged me and said I need to be patient as he's also had a loss. She didn't ask how I was or anything. He's obviously speaking to his mom, but why isn't he opening up and speaking to me? She

said that I was harsh? I'm feeling utterly emotionally neglected right now. My body has been through emotional and physical hell. I understand that my miscarriage came in an effing inconvenient time for him as it was his birthday and all. I'm not sure if it's the hormones making me feel crazy but is it nuts to contemplate divorce? Am I the butthole for calling him a disgrace? You know, this kind of begs the question. When is a convenient time to have a miscarriage? Because I don't know if such a thing really exists. It's always going to be surprising and it's always going to be tragic. So what did he want from you? To squeeze your legs shut and just keep it inside

of you for 24 hours until after his birthday? Is he insane? I like this line from Fancy and Fab in the comments. He's lucky all you did was call him a disgrace. I'd be calling him my ex-husband. He knows his son is home alone with you and he stops for beer? Yeah, the lack of concern and empathy is honestly horrifying here. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your husband 4.5 out of 5 buttholes. That was r slash am of 5 buttholes.