rSlash - r/AITA Girlfriend Got a HORRIBLE Tattoo

Episode Date: August 3, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:05 Period party 9:25 Deal breaker 13:41 Comment Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Am I the butthole for putting a stop to my 12 year old daughter's period party? Let me set the stage. I'm a 43 year old guy and my wife is 42. We have two daughters who are 7 years apart. Our 19 year old was at college in a different state when this happened. My girls are very different. My 19 year old is outgoing, even extroverted, loves meeting new people, trying new things, et cetera.

My 12 year old is shy, a homebody, finds things she's comfortable with and sticks to them. A couple of months ago, my 12 year old comes to me in my home office, obviously upset. She stammers a bit, then 12 year old comes to me in my home office, obviously upset. She stammers a bit, then manages to tell me that she just got her first period. I play the supportive dad, comfort her, and get her to a box of sanitary pads my wife had bought earlier in the year, guessing this was going to happen sooner or later, and I go over the instructions with her. She goes into her bathroom, does what she has to do, thanks me for my help, and I get

her some ice cream and my doll, told her there was nothing to be embarrassed about, and she could always come to me for anything. My wife gets home later that day, and my 12 year old tells her what happened. My wife starts crying, my little girl is growing up, etc. Then asked who should be invited to the period party, which I only knew of from listening to Bert Kreischer. If they were a thing when our 19 year old started, she never asked for one. My 12 year old immediately closes off, says she doesn't want a period party, doesn't want anyone to know. My wife tries to talk to her some more, but my 12 year old ignores her and goes to her room. My wife tries to enlist my aid in changing her mind, but I tell her

she said she didn't want one, don't worry about it. Two days later, I get home from running errands and before I can even make it to the stairs, my 12 year old runs up to me and asks if she can do her homework in my office. I'm confused, but say sure and she bolts upstairs. At this point, I started'm confused, but say sure, and she bolts upstairs. At this point, I started to suspect what was going on, and walked into the living room to find that my wife had not only decorated it like something which would have looked out of place on My Super Sweet 16, but there were several family friends, all women, and a few I recognized as neighborhood mothers.

I beckon my wife into the hall, and she asks where the 12 year old is, and I tell her she wanted to do homework in my office. She rolls her eyes and starts to move past me, but I step in front of her. What are you doing? I ask her. Going to get the 12 year old. It's her party. She told you specifically she didn't want one of these.

Oh, she didn't mean that. This is an important time for a girl. She needs to know not to be ashamed of her body. She's not. I already explained things to her. She just doesn't want to talk about it more. I don't expect you to understand. This is just for us women.

She actually tried to push past me, but I stepped into the doorway and completely blocked her. What's wrong with you? What's wrong with you? You know how shy our 12 year old is? You knew she didn't want you doing something like this and you did it anyway. I told you it's for her own good. We can't let her grow up with a negative attitude towards something so natural.

And we're not. I told you. She knows what's going on. She's getting a handle on it. She just doesn't want to talk about it with anyone else for right now. Well, it wasn't your business to tell her about it anyways. You were at work. Was I supposed to ignore her for four hours until you got home? You could have called me.

I would have come home. It still would have taken you an hour. She was upset. I knew what was going on and I talked her through it. You don't know anything about it. It's never happened to you. At this point, I gave up. I point out to my wife that, no, I've never had a period. But I had three older sisters and a live-in girlfriend before my wife and I met. Plus, we've been married almost 21 years. I'm pretty well versed. She again tries to move past me, but I don't move. No, our 12 year old doesn't want this. I'm not letting you make her do it. Fine. Have it your way. She goes back to the living room and tells the other ladies that the

period party is off because I'm being a... jackass. I lose it. Follow her in and let the women know, calmly but in no uncertain terms, that I appreciate what they wanted to do. But our 12 year old made it explicitly clear that she did not want this party, and my wife is trying to pressure her into it. Several of the moms frown at my wife, and my wife starts to backpedal talking about how she didn't think our 12 year old was being serious but I ignore her and begin taking down the decorations. Everyone clears out shortly and once the coast is clear our 12 year old comes back downstairs.

My wife gives her a half-hearted, in my opinion, apology again saying she didn't think that our 12 year old was serious but our 12 year old was serious. But our 12 year old also ignores her and just starts doing her homework in her usual place at the table. My wife was pissed at me for a week, claiming I undermined her authority as a parent, apparently, by not helping her force our daughter into doing something she didn't want to do. And I made her look bad in front of the neighborhood moms, by telling them that she'd been doing this against our daughter's wishes. So am I the butthole?" Then OP posted an update.

So after a few days, things around the house went back to normal. My wife cooled off, my 12 year old began talking to her again, and they didn't appear to have any issues. Except my 12 year old began coming to me more often about things instead of her mom. My wife obviously noticed, as they'd been very close before this and was hurt but said nothing. I guess she figured she deserved it. Finally, one day after I got back from taking my 12 year old to school, my wife asked if

she was still angry with her. I said I didn't think so and my wife just kinda deflated. She looked so miserable that I actually got worried, and I asked my wife if she was still angry. She said no, then admitted that she had messed up and gotten too into the concept of what others here have called menstruation celebration, which is a great phrase that even rhymes. She said she'd been so focused on making sure my 12-year-old had a positive experience that she brushed aside her reluctance to take part. And in my wife's defense, our 12-year-old

regularly does this. She'll say that she isn't looking forward to doing something, but if she pushes past her shyness and takes part, she nearly always has a good time. So my wife thought this was just another example of our 12-year- old doing that and didn't take it seriously. My wife said that when our 19 year old started her period, it was just such a busy day that she didn't really have any time to think about it beyond, quick, let's get to a bathroom so I can help. And it wasn't until after this that my wife really thought about her own period first, which basically consisted of her being told virtually nothing beforehand by her emotionally manipulative mother.

They've been no contact for 15 years. Barely being 12 when it happened, and once she did go to her mom, only being handed a box of pads and warned not to get pregnant. Nothing more was ever said about it between them. My wife had to learn nearly everything from a friend's mother. Yeah, my mother-in- everything from a friend's mother. Yeah, my mother-in-law is a piece of work. My wife was determined that she wouldn't behave like that towards our 12 year old when it happened, but as events show, she basically went too far in the

other direction. Then she asked me what I thought she should do to fix this. I told her the truth. Our 12 year old probably wasn't going to feel comfortable confiding in her again for a while. But if she really wanted to apologize, she should tell the 12 year old what she just told me. And so she did. My wife went to pick our 12 year old up from school. And when they got home I saw that they'd both been crying, but also seemed happier. Turns out I wasn't quite right and our 12 year old HAD still been harboring some resentment towards my wife for trying to push her into the harboring some resentment towards my wife for trying to push her into the period party. But after hearing my wife's story, my 12 year old

decided to forgive her, only asking that my wife PROMISE not to do something like that again. And two months later, things between them seemed to be back to normal. Maybe not the most exciting resolution, but I don't think our 12 year old is going to hold a grudge over this or has permanently damaged their relationship. All's well that ends well, as they say. Still, I'm giving the mom a butthole score because it's very hypocritical to say, oh, you're a woman now, and then completely ignore this new woman, apparently,'s opinion and just make decisions for her. Also, look, every couple fights now and then, and sometimes you even fight when guests are over.

But to then use that argument in public to shame your husband is really scummy behavior. Also, obviously, I'm a guy, so I can't really understand what it's like to have a period I can guess. I think the closest parallel that I can imagine as a guy for this little girl situation is a first boner party. And I can't even imagine how horrified I would be if my dad invited a bunch of dudes and fathers from the neighborhood to have cake for my first ever boner party. No thanks, dad. I'll pass. Anyways, I'm giving the mom 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. OP gets 0 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling a friend that a tattoo on her chest saying, forever Brian's,

is a deal breaker for most men, even though Brian has since passed away? I've got a friend named Ula that's a relatively new friend, as I've only known her for four years. She has a tattoo on her chest just below her collarbone that says, forever Brian's. She got it when she was quite young, early twenties, about fifteen years ago when she was engaged to her first love, who unfortunately passed away due to cancer, which is my understanding. I don't know the history beyond that it happened quite quickly and she got the tattoo after he passed away. I've been watching her date for

about four years now and the tattoo has consistently been a sticking point for the three to four guys or so that I've seen with her. Each one has said it differently but they've all said that they'd like her to get it removed or that it makes them uncomfortable enough to leave the relationship when it got serious. Last night, Ula and my wife were having a girls night together, and I was downstairs enjoying some Baldur's Gate 3 when they both came down and asked for a guy's opinion and harassed me until I put the controller down. I warned them repeatedly that if they asked me for a guy's opinion that I would provide one but it might be hurtful.

So I asked the ladies if they remembered that movie Titanic. They said they did. I asked them if they remembered what the core theme of that movie was. They both answered that it was a love story between Jack and Rose. So I told Ula, do you know who it wasn't a love story for? Rose's husband. Rose's husband married her, had children with her, stayed married to her for roughly 60 years and grew old together, overcame adversity and successfully had a long life together.

But Rose didn't think of her husband or those memories together when she died 60 years later. She thought of Jack. All of that living that Rose and her husband did together meant little because in the end, when she passed over, she went to her first love, Jack. I looked at Ola and said, that tattoo is written confirmation that those guys are NOT your forever person. Which is fine when you're casually dating.

But what you're indirectly asking for when things start to get serious is if they're willing to sign up to be your Rose's husband. I agreed that Ryan had passed away over a decade ago. I agreed that it wasn't fair. I agreed that they were stupidly competing with a dead person. I agreed that removing it won't change how she felt about Brian. My bottom line was that this was one guy's opinion on the matter, which obviously all her previous boyfriends to some degree

agreed with me on, as each one had raised it as a serious issue to them. I wasn't trying to start a huge argument, but that's basically what happened, so I tried a different approach and told her, look, I'm not trying to start stuff, but everyone wants to find their forever person. What you're doing is basically telling these guys you've already found yours. So they keep it casual for as long as they can, and when you try to get serious, they leave to protect themselves because no one wants to be a placeholder, and it doesn't help how aggressively you defend it. Shortly after, she passed out on the couch, much to my relief.

In hindsight, this should have been a conversation to have while sober. So was I too harsh? Was I a butthole? Even the next morning, she was slowly crying and committing to removing it. Which I told her to talk it out with more than just her friends, and maybe seek out a professional opinion before removing it. Which I told her to talk it out with more than just her friends and maybe seek out a professional opinion before removing it. But I sure felt like a major butt hole. It really felt like there was no winning here. Just a lot of hurt feelings and distant tragedy. OP clearly Ula needed a wake up call. But here's the thing about wake up calls. They're harsh by their very nature.

Alarm clocks aren't like, da-da-da-da-da, good morning, I love you, everything's great. They're like, meh, meh, meh. They're intentionally annoying and obnoxious to get you to wake up. You need harsh alarm clocks. So that's what you are, OP. You're a harsh wake-up call. Also, down in the comments, I gotta read this from Wild Bad. Not the butthole. Most guys are figuring that it's impossible to compete with the idealized and romanticized version of Brian that's in her memory. It's like the old joke.

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just as it's going by. As he gets into the taxi, the cabbie says, Impeccable timing! You're just like Frank! The passenger says, Who? Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab. Things happen like that to Frank Feldman every single time. The passenger says, There's always a few clouds over everybody.

Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star. And you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy. Sounds like he was really something special. There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order, and which fork to eat with. He could fix anything.

Not like me. I change a fuse and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman could do everything right. The passenger says, wow, what a guy. He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me. I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake.

And he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back, even if she was in the wrong. And his clothing was always immaculate. Shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man. He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman. The passenger asks, how'd you meet him? Oh, I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his wife. So, OP, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. Especially since I think that when you come to a guy and say, hey, I need a guy's opinion,

I think the unspoken rule is that you're asking for harsh, objective, reality-focused advice. Right? Am I wrong about that? That was r slash am I the butthole and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.