rSlash - r/AITA Girlfriend Wants a "Ball Sniff" Every Day

Episode Date: August 20, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:08 Ad 1:08 Sniff test 3:44 Comment 4:22 No forgiveness 7:49 Comment 8:23 Cheating ex 13:22 Personal hygiene Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R slash Am I the Butthole, where O.P.'s girlfriend wants to sniff test his crotch every time he goes outside. Am I the butthole for not wanting my partner to sniff test my crotch anytime I've been out? Okay, I know this sounds ridiculous. It is ridiculous. I can't believe I even have to write this. But my partner, a 25-year-old woman, insists that I, a 26-year-old guy, would only have a problem with her wanting to smell my genitals when I come. home if I was trying to hide certain smells. So, I'll ask Reddit. We've been together for years, live together too. There's no history of cheating, but she's always been quite jealous and paranoid. But the past eight months, she's gone crazy with it. She checks my phone constantly, which, fine, there's nothing to hide, but it does feel invasive. If I'm out with friends,

she tracks me and expects me to check it constantly. If I ever take too long to reply, she accuses me of all sorts of things. If I'm late home, she thinks I've been with another woman. But about eight months ago, this started. I'd been out with a few mates at the pub. Unfortunately, my phone died, and I actually cut the night short because I knew she'd be going crazy. I got back, and straight away the questions and accusations were flying. After explaining five or six times, she suddenly stopped, stood in front of me, and then got on her knees and started to pull down my trousers. Honestly, I thought that I was about to get lucky for a second, but what actually happened is she started to sniff my crotch and seriously examine my little fella for signs of intercourse.

What the hell? She later apologized for it and said that she was just upset, but now she's been doing it on a weekly basis. When I tell her it's crazy and she needs to stop, she insists I would only mind if I thought that she might smell something. She also said, I'm welcome to sniff her genitals anytime I want to, but yeah, no, that's effing weird. She won't accept that this is crazy behavior. So I'm hoping Reddy can help me show her that it very much is. So please, for the love of God, tell me, am I the butthole because I don't want my girlfriend to be constantly snipping my genitals to check if I smell like intercourse? Also, Also for context, she's been diagnosed in the past with EUPD, which is emotionally unstable personality disorder, which is apparently just another name for BPD, borderline personality disorder.

Also, eight months ago, she found out her parents were getting divorced because her dad was having an affair. This is common from Mobius stripping. Bro, my girl does this all the time. Why are you being such a jerk about it? She can't really help it. Also, my... My girl is a literal dog. Well, I think the non-joke answer here is that your girl needs therapy. Or more than likely you need to break up because this is an unhealthy level of paranoia that I don't know if there's a way to necessarily come back from,

at least not without a lot of therapy and self-work beforehand. But I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I don't want to give the girlfriend a butthole score because it's not mean or bad behavior. It's just she needs therapy, I think. think. Am I the butthole for telling my no-contact sister that part of growing up and being a better person is accepting that people don't have to forgive and reconcile with you? Growing up, my sister, who's now 22, was the spoiled golden child of our parents. She got everything she ever wanted in life and became the brat nobody wanted their kids to be friends with. I, now a 24-year-old

woman, even had friends who weren't allowed to come to my house because my sister was there. She would steal and try to make you do what she wanted. Then, if you didn't, she would tell our parents and then would break stuff if she wasn't included and wasn't allowed to take over decision-making. It was a whole thing. We fought a lot as kids, and we both set awful things to each other. But I grew to resent her more and more because of the monster our parents created. The final straw for me was my savings. My parents wouldn't let me open up a bank account because they didn't want me hiding money. They forced my first job to fire me because they were not okay with me keeping money to myself. And I knew they wouldn't help me

with college or let me stay rent-free once I was 18. So I started being sneaky about saving. I babysat for friends' parents under the guise of visiting friends. I did errands for family friends or other people. It didn't allow me much in the way of savings, but it allowed me some. But then, like two days before my 18th birthday, my sister found and stole the money. And yeah, I had it at home, but there was nowhere else to take it. None of my friend's parents were okay with me storing it at their house in case any went missing and I accused them. They were fine helping me get money, but they didn't want the responsibility of storing it,

which I understand. My sister even told our parents that I had the money and they got so mad at me. In return, I told my sister to F off and never speak to me again. And from that day onward, she wasn't my sister, and I didn't love or care about what would happen to her. I left on my birthday and never went back. I was no contact from then until now. My sister reached out to me a few weeks ago because a relative gave her my number.

She apologized, told me she was sorry, said she had grown up and realized how awful she was. And she knew that stealing, breaking stuff, getting me into trouble intentionally and trying to control everything was wrong. She said she loved and missed me and was hoping we could repair our relationship. I didn't reply. I read the text and kept it on my phone, but I didn't reply. Two weeks later, she texted the exact same thing with an apology if I already got the first, but she wanted to be sure. Then, a few days ago, she texted again, and she said that she knew that it was my number and wanted to know why I ignored her when she had apologized and was hoping I'd forgive her so that we could have a relationship. I replied one time, and I considered not even

doing this. I told her that part of growing is accepting that people don't have to forgive you or reconcile with you just because you apologized, and that sometimes the harm done can't be undone and doors are closed forever. I didn't reply after that. Then, the relative who gave her my number and I exchanged some words because of this, and she told me that it was the most arrogant way to tell someone that you don't accept their apology. She said I should have been more accepting. And I told her that I didn't need to listen to this. I love this top comment from comprehensive put, not the butthole. If your sister can't understand your reply, then she still needs more growth. Makes me wonder exactly what she told the relative, because it sounds like another example

of her not getting her way, then tattling to force you to give her what she wants. Same controlling behavior from childhood. I agree 100%. Sounds like she may have grown, grown enough to realize that she did something wrong, but still not grown enough to actually change that core behavior. O.P., you get zero out of five buttholes. Everyone else gets 2.5 out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling my cheating ex-husband that I'll never feel bad for him and I'll never help him make this better? I'm a 46-year-old woman and my ex-husband John is 48. We were married a decade when I found out that he had cheated multiple times with multiple women, one of whom became a fully fledged affair. We had three young kids at the time. How I found out was I started suffering

some concerning symptoms. I went to the tests and some tests were ran and it was discovered I had gonorrhea which had caused pelvic inflammatory disorder. The whole thing was devastating, but John didn't even pretend he was concerned about me. But he was concerned about his affair partner, Kathy. The two of them married after the divorce and I had to pick up the pieces, deal with the consequences of John's cheating and his lasting gift and help my kids deal with the divorce, all while I had to be civil in front of the kids, which killed me. I had minimal contact with John and Kathy. I refused to speak to either unless I had to. A few times, they attempted additional contact with the aim of us being friends, but I shot that down and told the two of them

to rot in hell. The kids had a good relationship with their dad until a few years ago, but John and Kathy were unable to have children together. I believe she had miscarriages and stillbirths, and my kids felt that there was pressure on them to gather around them and love Kathy so she would still feel like a mother. But none of them had a close relationship with her, and they felt like their dad was manipulative about it. So they started going to his house less and faded away. My youngest graduated in May and didn't invite John or Kathy. There were discussions about it, but ultimately he decided he would prefer to focus on his achievement and not the drama. John attempted to get me to force my youngest hand, and he tried to throw a pity party about their losses and Kathy's love for the kids and her losing the chance to be a mother. I blocked him after several text messages about this.

Now, I've had John at my house trying to make me feel bad for him and Kathy by talking about all the losses and asking me to help him make this better, which to him means he wants the kids back in his and Kathy's lives and for me to encourage them to love both of them and to let them. But especially Kathy, feel like she won't miss out on all the motherly experiences. She wants me to treat her like the other mother and present as a team so that when weddings and babies come along, she'll be included and equal in all of it. I had no patience for his request. And even though he was already upset from talking about the losses, I was not kind when I told him to get away from my house and from me. I told him I will never feel bad for him,

and that his pity party and attempt to make me responsible for their happiness after the way he treated me was outrageous. I told him that he caused all this, and he can fix it, but he doesn't deserve a single ounce of kindness or compassion from me after his actions in our marriage. He tried to argue, but I closed my front door, and he left after that. I was on good terms with John's sister after everything went down, but once she heard about our interaction at my house, she turned on me. She told me she understands me hating them, but John has

been broken up about all the losses they've endured, and I could have been a little kinder, and that I should want my kids to have John and Kathy in their lives, that I should be able to see that it would be better for them and future grandkids. I told her that I owed the two of them nothing, and I did not wish for their happiness. She told me that I'd proven to be spiteful and I hurt her brother when our divorce happened more than a decade ago now, and it's truly in the past. I'm disappointed that my relationship with her broke down, but I feel like it was possibly naive to think that it would always survive what happened because John's her brother first. I do value her opinion, or I did before this. I disagree with what she said, but I also feel like I

shouldn't dismiss it without seeking other opinions when I've always valued what she said before, even though I just believe this is a loyalty thing at the end of the day. Am I the butthole? A lot of people in this world seem to think that eventually forgiveness will come. No matter what the crime, as long as enough time has passed, you'll say, I forgive you. And everyone can hold hands and hug and be friends again. But that's just not reality. Some people just hold grudges as they're entitled to for the rest of their lives. And if O.P. wants to hate John, she has every right to do so. I probably would too between the cheating and the gonorrhea.

So, boo-hoo, cry me a river. It would be especially bad if O.P. caught the gonorrhea from Kathy. But since John had multiple affair partners, it's impossible to say. O.P., you get zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your cheating X three out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling my sister that her, lack of personal hygiene is the real reason no job will hire her and not sexism? This concerns my sister Lily, who's graduating soon. Our parents taught us the importance of personal hygiene and keeping

yourself presentable. But I guess Lily fell off the wagon while dorming in college because it feels like she dropped everything to do with personal hygiene since moving back home. Her hair, very oily and greasy, always tangled from lack of washing and brushing. Her skin, also very oily and greasy from no washing. Her nails never trims them so they're long and yellow from grime. Her clothes themselves are nice, but she leaves them sloppy and wrinkled. Her body. She showers once a week, tops. I'm not sensitive to smell, but my sister reeks, and honestly, it makes me gag sometimes. Lily is upset because she says she can't get an in-person job in her field and wants to give up. Our parents have tried telling her that presentability slash hygiene is as important

as credentials when getting jobs, but my sister won't listen. Lily has a rocky relationship with our family, so she takes it as a personal attack rather than them trying to help. Lily is now blaming sexism and says that men are all just intimidated by a competent woman, and that's the sole reason why she hasn't gotten a job. If she wants to lie to herself, it's her life, whatever. What I can't stand is her trying to make it my problem and expect validation from me. Lily just did a bunch of interviews, but all went cold after and none panned out into jobs. She was venting to me last week about how companies in this field are all boys clubs and quick to shoot down a woman that they know was intellectually above them. I was basically just like, good for you. Can I please

finish my session in peace now? Lily got defensive and said that she's just warning me. Then double down saying most men are selfish and I should save myself the headache now. She was saying this with my male friends on the voice call. I had enough and told Lily that her lack of personal hygiene is the real reason no job will hire her, so stop blaming others and think for two seconds. If you were a company owner who needs to impress investors to keep your own family afloat, would you want to be represented by someone who looks and smells like a homeless person, or someone who's presentable and takes care of themselves. We got into an argument, and Lily is now either giving me one-word answers

or not saying anything to me at all. I'll be honest that we argue a lot, but Lily normally would have gotten over it by now. Did I do the right thing giving Lola a dose of reality, or did I screw up here? In general, I would say that if someone needs a reality check, it's important to give it to them, that it's actually healthy to give them that reality check. However, I don't know if the best time to do it was during a group, call with a bunch of dudes on the line, or just anyone really on the line for that matter. Still, I'm on your side, O.P., so I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I just think you

should have gone about it a little bit differently. Sounds like Lily needs a shower. That was our slash am I the butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.