rSlash - r/AITA "GIVE ME YOUR EMBRYOS!"

Episode Date: January 12, 2026

0:00 Intro 0:06 Language 5:28 Embryos 9:37 Bio son 11:56 Free work Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R-slash-Am I the Butthole, where O.P. kind of sort of accidentally says the N-word. Am I the butthole for not changing my language to appease an ignorant co-worker? I'm a 34-year-old guy, and I work in an office in a technical field with approximately 30 co-workers and higher-ups. The problem is I have this coworker, Sarah, who's 28. This problem started before Christmas when I went into the break room to answer a call for my family overseas. We talked in my native language for about 10 minutes. about family and friends from back home, and we were wrapping up the call. When I hung up, I saw Sarah looking at me with an angry look on her face.

I asked her what was wrong, and she accused me of being a racist? What? I was very confused, and she then said that I said the N-word, which confused me even more. She ran off, and in a few minutes the HR director walked to my desk and took me to her office. After a very confusing conversation, I finally figured it out. One of the ways we say you in my native language sounds like the N-word. Like, barely, but... I explained this to the HR director who was at first disbelieving. After a bit of Googling on my phone, I showed her,

and she relented that I'm not a racist, just a fluent speaker of my native language. Then, the HR director asked if there was any way that I could not accept personal calls at work. I said, sure, if you make it a directive that no one can, she balked at that and tried to him and haul her way to make it so that only I couldn't. But I kept gently nudging how prejudicial that sounded until she asked if there was any way I could not use that word when speaking my native language. I am used that it was possible, but it would make synonstructure meandering and almost too formal and clunky, so I'd rather not. She said that if it was possible,

maybe I should. I asked if maybe she should stop using a New England accent. She then thanked me for clearing up the misunderstanding and let me go back to work. The HR director before the holiday break sent out an email explaining that there was a misunderstanding due to the use of a foreign language in the office and that we should respect everyone's cultures. It was a very open-ended and vague email that solved nothing. My family rarely calls me at work because it's nighttime when I work and they only call during my birthday and holidays, so this is not really going to be an issue. And I would rather not try to find a way to dance around saying, you in a conversation.

I told this story to my friends during a Christmas party, and one person asked if this was really a hill worth dying on. Am I the butthole here for not trying to compromise with HR? This story is genuinely so stupid because it's a really obviously cleared up misunderstanding. It's like, oh, okay, that's not the word you actually, that's not the word I thought. it was. Okay, I understand. And then trying to say, oh, only people who speak this language aren't allowed to speak that language is discrimination. And that just puts the company in a position where they can get sued. Super dumb from everyone involved, except for OP. And I'll even say I've

been in Sarah's shoes before. My in-laws are Chinese. I've been to China. And in Chinese Mandarin, there's a similar word that every time I hear it, a little part of me is like, whoa, whoa, whoa, let's calm down. I'm not going to say the word, because, I'm afraid YouTube is going to think I'm saying the word and nuke my channel, but I'll give you the syllables. The first syllable is nay, and the second syllable is gu. And it means that, basically, T-H-A-T. It means like that or that one. And the really awkward thing is that some Chinese people use that word to be like, um or uh. So you know how you'll be thinking, um, uh, um, and they'll be like, Like, nay, nay, nay.

You know, I can't say the full word. And it's 100% innocent because it just means a different thing. But as an American, I hear that. I'm like, oh my God, what am I listening to? So I actually 100% understand why Sarah had that reaction. But she's just wrong. That's just not the word. So, O.P., I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes.

I think I also want to give Sarah zero out of five buttholes because, you know, she didn't know any better. she heard what she thought was the word and she, you know, reported to HR, which I think it's kind of understandable. But the HR handled this in a really stupid way. So I'm giving them, I don't know, 0.5 out of five buttholes. You know, a similar incident is that Crayola has to experience this every once in a while because Crayola crayons prints the colors of each crayon in I think French, Spanish, and English. And the French, is it the French or the Spanish word for black is spelled N-E-G-R-O.

So every once in a while some American would be like, Crayola, excuse me? Why are you printing this word on a black crayon and get all upset on Twitter? And Crayola has to be like, hey, man, that's just the French word for black. I mean, you know, that's what they call it in France, so don't get upset at us. I feel like this is a good opportunity. If there's any English words that sound like crazy, offensive words in another language, please let us know in the comments.

We'd love to know. So every time I say, boy, I'm hungry, for all I know the word hungry, sounds like, I don't know, some horrible slur in some other language. Am I the butthole for destroying embryos that we were going to gift to a couple we viewed as friends after they dissed us? So a couple of years ago, my husband and I had a child by a surrogacy. We had five top grade embryos frozen after delivery of our child. We did not have the intention of having another child. So we wanted to gift these embryos to a couple whom we viewed. as friends until recently. We're open about our experience with surrogacy, which is as close to a textbook

case of perfection as IVF can come. We're extremely thankful, and we realize this is an outlier. Even though we had no previous relationship, the surrogate and her family, and our family have become very close. We stated that we would like to gift the embryos to a couple who would otherwise be unable to have a family. So this other couple, whom were casual acquaintances with, whom we do consider friends became a possibility. Let's call them Greg and Karen. We talked to Greg and Karen and discuss the possibility. So it turns out that this other couple has a very different political ideology than we do. While we disapprove of this specific elected politician, they essentially worship this politician. Believe it or not, we had no idea this was the case beforehand, as we always had non-political social interactions with them.

Greg and Karen began telling people the deal was finalized, that they began appointments at a fertility clinic, and Karen was taking IBF hormones. Even more surprising, they were telling people they're glad the deal was finalized so they would never have to see us again, stating that we're horrible people who don't deserve a child because of our political beliefs, but they were glad to get free embryos. We had multiple friends who recorded their rants on several occasions and provided them to us. One rant suggested they should make an anonymous tip to child protective services so our child could be taken away. And even if it didn't make it that far, we would be extremely inconvenienced. We consulted with our legal counsel, and we made the decision to destroy the embryos instead of gifting them. We immediately filled out the paperwork and began the process to have them destroyed.

The next time their legal counsel reached out, our counsel told them the embryos were destroyed, and as such there would be no agreements on gifting the embryos. We thought this would be the end, and we made sure to have no further contact with Greg or Karen. Due to changes in our lives, we were about to move far away, and there would be no reasonable situation where we would ever run into each other. Well, after loading up our moving truck and doing final walkthrough before pulling out, we received a court summons.

Greg and Karen are suing us. They're suing us for breach of contract, Theft and destruction of their property, claiming we had an oral contract and the embryos were theirs. Loss of wages due to fertility treatments, medical costs for fertility treatments, pain and suffering and emotional distress, and punitive damages. We presented the filing information to our legal counsel, along with recorded evidence and the contact information of friends who notified us of those incidents, who were more than happy to help. And our legal counsel believes that there's no case, but it'll call. cost a lot to litigate, and we were advised to counter sue. Otherwise, we'd be on the hook for our own legal costs. Also, without embryos in their possession, Karen should not have started hormone

treatments for IVF. Anyways, this is not about the legalities, which we're confident are on our side. When Greg and Karen started badmouthing us and claiming that they had our embryos, am I the butthole for having those embryos destroyed to prevent that couple from getting them? Giving away your embryos, that's genetically speaking, you're giving away your own child to someone else. So, yeah, I'm on your side. I couldn't imagine giving my embryos to someone whom I hated and who disrespected me. Kind of begs the question, if Karen and Greg hate O.P. so much, why would they want O.P.'s genetic offspring? Huh? Am I the butthole for refusing to help my parents care for my son whom they adopted? I'm an oops baby. My folks had me when they were in the

early 40s. I got pregnant when I was in university. I probably can't write here why I didn't want the baby. I wanted to not be pregnant, but my parents said they would cut off all aid to me if I aborted, so I carried it to term. Then I wanted to put the child up for adoption or drop him at a fire station or something. I was not in a good place. My parents insisted on adopting him, so he's legally my brother. I don't hate him, but he is a reminder. of something terrible that happened to me. I now go back home as little as possible, maybe two days a year. I've graduated and I have a life far away from my parents.

My brother is 12 now and he is not well behaved. My parents are now in their 70s and are having a terrible retirement. They have to dedicate all their time to him. They can't take the vacations they planned. They won't downsize to a condo so they still have yard work and stuff that he will not help with. None of my actual siblings will watch him to give them a break. They reached out to me for help. I said no.

I said that he's their son and their responsibility. They think that I'm cruel for forcing them to do everything after they help me so much. It took everything I had in me to not curse them out. Some of my relatives have reached out to me to see why I refused to help fix the mess I made. Them I curse out and block. None of them helped me when I was pregnant against my will. The biological father is on the registry and cannot be near kids before you ask. It's really clear from this story what happened.

O.P.'s parents adopted the kid, expecting O.P. to magically change her mind one day and to choose motherhood and to come back and take over being mom. But that never happened. So then they were stuck with the kids and they had buyer's remorse. So I think you're completely in the clear here, O.P., I'm on your side. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your stupid parents 2.5 out of five buttholes. I can appreciate that they are willing to take over their grandkid. However, the manipulation they tried to use against you was really, really scummy. Am I the butthole for refusing to do free work from my kid's stepfather?

I'm an electrician and a union member. My ex and I share custody of our three kids. Things are okay now, but the divorce last year was rough. She got remarried in August to a guy after dating for six. months, Brad. Here's where the issue kind of starts. A few weeks ago, Brad was at my daughter's volleyball game saying stuff about how real tradesmen don't need to be in a union. He said this right in front of me, and I was wearing a shirt with my union logo on it. He works in the trades also, but just a small non-union IT slash data network jobs. I stayed calm and didn't bite. He's self-employed,

and I know he barely makes a profit. My license also allows me to do all of the of his kind of work at my pay rate. This morning, my ex called me out of the blue. She said a panel at one of Brad's jobs needed some work and asked if I could just swing by to check it out. She said, you'd only need your tools for a few minutes, just a quick favor, it's not a big deal, and you would technically be working for Brad. So when my ex asked for a quick favor, I told her, I charge everyone the same rate, and per union rules, I can't just do a side job, it's got to be under my shop. She said, you're really gonna force this issue with my husband? I told her he can't just have his own subcontractors or step up and pay me like everyone else does. Now she's saying

I'm being petty and creating tension, claiming that I'm just making a stink because he lives with the kids. I told her that professionalism isn't petty and that I don't give free labor to people who disrespect my trade. So am I the butthole for refusing to do free work from my ex's husband even though it might make things awkward for my co-parenting relationship? O.P., if I were in your shoes, even if the guy did pay me, I still wouldn't show up. Even if I liked the guy. Let's just keep personal and professional stuff separate.

There's plenty of other electricians he could have hired. Also, if he were as much of a man's man as he seems to think he is, then he would have called O.P. himself instead of getting his wife to do it for him. O.P., you get zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your ex and the ex's husband, one out of five. butt holes. That was our slash am I the butthole. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.