rSlash - r/AITA He Gave My Baby a DISGUSTING Gift

Episode Date: May 17, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:08 Insane gift 3:27 Cheating evidence 7:49 Lien 10:04 And the reason is you 11:57 Comment Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 That's the sound of unaged whiskey, transforming into Jack Daniels Tennessee Whiskey in Lynchburg, Tennessee. Around 1860, nearest green taught Jack Daniel how to filter whiskey through charcoal for a smoother taste, one drop at a time. This is one of many sounds in Tennessee with a story to tell. To hear them in person, plan your trip at TNVacation.com. Tennessee sounds perfect. Welcome to r slash Am I The Butthole where someone gifts an adult toy to a newborn baby girl. Am I the butthole for kicking my girlfriend's brother out because he gifted us a dildo while
Starting point is 00:00:44 visiting after our daughter's birth? What? I'm a 27 year old guy and I've been with my girlfriend who's 26 for 7 years. I've known her since we were in high school. She gave birth two weeks ago to our first child, a daughter. This will be relevant. We had invited each of our parents and her two brothers, a 24 year old and a 30 year
Starting point is 00:01:03 old, to visit our home a few days after she was discharged from the hospital. I know her parents well. They're very nice people. But I don't know her brothers. Well during the gathering, everyone handed us gift bags. All of which contained pretty much what you'd expect. Stuffed animals, dolls, pacifiers, diapers, blankets, onesies, dresses, children's books, etc. Except for the one that my girlfriend's younger brother gave us.
Starting point is 00:01:28 His bag only contained a dildo. My girlfriend asked him who it was for and he replied, No! He replied, For the girl when she's a bit older? Yo, I read the title, I assumed OP meant the dildo was for his wife, it's for a newborn child? Yo, what the f**k?
Starting point is 00:01:49 I asked him if this was some tasteless joke, and he said that he really thought that it was something his own, alright, okay, that his own niece would appreciate. I was irate. I yelled at him to get out and to take the dildo with him and to never talk to our daughter. Which upset my girlfriend's parents who were hurt that I screamed at their son and kicked him out over something they thought was minor. So her parents and older brother left as well. My girlfriend told me that although she's as angry at him as I am, I should have been
Starting point is 00:02:20 more lenient and that I should apologize to him because he's her brother whom she's very close to. Okay. Okay. Alright. This post, okay. Geez, how do I even process this? Honest to God, without exaggeration, I would expect that if you gifted— God, I feel uncomfortable
Starting point is 00:02:37 saying this sentence, you guys. This makes me feel bad to even utter these words. If you brought a dildo as a gift to a newborn girl, I would honestly and genuinely expect you to get the shit beat out of you. I would expect the father of the child and any brothers or uncles or grandparents to just gang up on you and literally just beat the shit out of you. So if anything, OP's response here was tactful. I don't know how you didn't punch this dude in the throat. This is repulsive and I am a million billion percent on your side. As a guy with a three year old daughter, this man, this pose actually makes me really uncomfortable.
Starting point is 00:03:17 OP, you get an easy, easy zero out of five buttholes. Am I going to give this guy five out of five buttholes? I mean, I try to reserve it for the worst case scenarios, but yo, sexualizing a newborn baby with sex toys? Ugh! Yeah, I'm giving this guy five out of five. I'm also giving the parents four out of five buttholes and I'll give the wife a pass for supporting her brother because, you know, after you have a baby, your body is flushed with
Starting point is 00:03:44 hormones so you can't really expect someone to think super, super clearly in those situations. So hopefully she'll come to her senses and realize just how messed up that is and hopefully never, ever, ever let your daughter around that brother again. Am I the butthole for leaving photographic evidence of my husband cheating somewhere that his parents shouldn't have looked? I'm a 30 year old woman and I kicked my 28 year old husband out of my house. It was my house prior to us getting married and it remains my house now. I knew when I married him that he was bisexual.
Starting point is 00:04:15 I was okay with that as long as he understood that we were monogamous. I said that I would never agree to an open relationship and if that's what he wanted, then he needed to be with someone else. He agreed and said that I was the person he wanted to be with and that I was more than enough to satisfy him. Well, he lied. I found out that he was having an affair with a man. I went through his iPad and took all the pictures for myself.
Starting point is 00:04:40 Graphic photos. When I confronted him, he became physically aggressive, and I got scared. He calmed down when I called 911 and then he left. Anyways, I didn't want this guy in my house again, ever. When he wanted his things, I asked him to make a list and send it to me. I found every single thing on the list, and I asked him where to send the box. He said that he would pick it up. I told him I wouldn't let him set foot in my house and that I would call the cops if he tried. He said that he would send friends to get his stuff. I said that I would leave his box of trash with the front desk at my work. He didn't want to make his friends drive all the way into the city. We compromised and I agreed to
Starting point is 00:05:19 give his parents a temporary code for my house. They're lovely people and I trusted them. I could see everything on my security system and I would know if he tried getting into my house. Our deal was that his parents would use the code, get the box from the front entrance, then close and lock the door. Easy peasy lemon squeezy. Instead, it went difficult difficult lemon fu**. I guess he didn't have everything on his list.
Starting point is 00:05:43 He asked them to get something from my bedroom, which was not part of the deal at all. I had the pictures of his infidelity in my bedroom in my chest of drawers. It was inside of an envelope. So to reiterate, in order for her to find these pictures, his mom had to cross my clear established boundary. She then had to enter my bedroom, open my chest to drawers, open an envelope and look at what was inside. I felt violated watching the security footage of this. Then I giggled like a little kid. It was hilarious. I saw his parents come up to the house, use the code and open the door. His dad came in and grabbed the box, then went back to their
Starting point is 00:06:21 vehicle with the box. His mom hesitated before walking into my house and then going to my bedroom. She goes to my chest and opens the top drawer where we kept a box full of jewelry. She sees an envelope with his name on it. She looks around herself, I'm not really sure why. Then she looks at the envelope's contents. She screams, stuffs the pictures back in the envelope, closes the drawer and goes running for the truck. My father-in-law comes to the door, locks it and leaves. I guess my ex-husband never told his parents about his proclivities.
Starting point is 00:06:55 To say that this created a problem for him is to take it lightly. I get a call from my ex. He says that I left the pictures out for his parents to find, but I didn't. I should have scattered them on top of the box that his parents picked up, but that felt cruel and unnecessary. Like I said, I've always found them to be lovely people. I told him where the pictures actually were. He said that he forgot about a ring that he left off the list and he told his mom where it would be. I said that I would have tossed the ring in the box if he told me. He said that he forgot until they were on their way. He's upset that his parents now know that he's a power bottom. He's unhappy at their house now and he's gonna
Starting point is 00:07:33 find somewhere else to stay. He said that I'm a butthole for causing this problem. But I think there are other candidates for buttholes. Him for cheating. Him for getting his parents to go against our agreement. His mom for going against our agreement. His mom for snooping. And his parents for homophobia. OP, I'm guessing what happened is that the mom told her son that the pictures were just, you know, out on the kitchen counter because otherwise she would have to admit that she went snooping where she wasn't supposed to. So I think that's why your ex-husband thought that you intentionally left the photos out. But still, you did nothing wrong here OP, so you're completely in the clear.
Starting point is 00:08:11 You get 0 out of 5 buttholes. Your ex-husband gets 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. Your in-laws get 2 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for putting a lien on my brother's house and refusing to remove it until he pays me? I do house renovations as a business. Even when I do work for family and friends, at a discount, I have a contract. My nephews are getting bigger and they want separate rooms.
Starting point is 00:08:34 My brother asked me to help finish up his basement. Basically make a couple of rooms down there, add a washroom, add a kitchenette, and add electricity. I priced it out and said that I would charge him $32,000 including materials. This was a sizeable discount. For the bathroom alone, I would charge anyone else $15,000. But my brother never paid me. He always had excuses. I paid for the material and I paid my guys for the work. We did it when I had downtime, so I didn't lose out on other money, but it still sucked to get shafted. So I put a construction lien on the house. He didn't care and I wasn't about to make him homeless. That happened two years ago. Now he got a new job and he has to move. And to get a new house, he has to sell his current house, which
Starting point is 00:09:20 he can't do because there's a lien against the property. He called me to get me to remove it. He promised he would pay me as soon as it sold. I told him, F you, pay me. My parents called me to tell me that they would pay what he owes. I said that I would agree as long as he paid them back, and if he didn't, then any money that he didn't pay back had to come out of any inheritance that we were getting, God forbid. And that interest started accruing from the day of the loan.
Starting point is 00:09:47 They agreed that was fair. My brother called me to scream at me for involving my parents in our inheritance. I reminded him that he involved our parents, not me. He finally took money out from a line of credit and paid me, with interest. I'm a reasonable man. His house sold over asking price and the finished basement made a huge difference on what he got. He's still pissed at me for doing it, but I did everything legal and buy the books. OP, I literally don't even understand why you
Starting point is 00:10:15 posted this to Reddit because the whole point of a construction lien is to put a lien on a house when the owner doesn't pay for some sort of work done on the house. That's literally why they exist. So as far as I'm concerned, this is just standard for construction businesses. OP, you get zero out of five buttholes. Your brother gets two out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for explaining to my husband that he's the reason that we keep having daughters? I'm a 30-year-old woman. I have two daughters and I'm currently pregnant with our third girl. We just found out this morning. On the drive to my mother-in-law's house, I'm a 30 year old woman. I have two daughters and I'm currently pregnant with our third girl. We just found out this morning. On the drive to my mother-in-law's house, my husband explained that he was a bit disappointed
Starting point is 00:10:51 about having a girl. But then he said, I should have expected this because you have three sisters. I explained that me having three sisters has nothing to do with the gender of our child. He said that it's genetics and that I'm the reason for our daughters. I told him that's not how biology works and he said that it is. He then went on to explain that his mom only has brothers and his two oldest brothers both have two sons because of his mom's side. I told him that doesn't make any sense because then it'd be the same for you. He said no because both of their wives have more brothers than sisters. He was getting frustrated, but I was just laughing at him. I explained that
Starting point is 00:11:29 him and his oldest two brothers have different dads, but out of the dads eight kids, three are boys and five are girls. The men determine the gender. He said that's not true because the kids that his dad had with his mom are all boys. He dropped it and said that he'll ask his mom who has a degree in biology. So we get to his parents for brunch and he asks his mom if I'm the reason that we kept having girls. She told him bluntly that the man determines the gender and it's actually not a 50-50 chance. She then went on to explain that the more of one gender you have, the higher the chances
Starting point is 00:12:04 that your next child is also going to be that gender. So he asked if it was likely that he'll have a boy. She told him, if he keeps trying, it might happen. He just walked out to his car and said that he's going for a drive. I received a text from him saying that I didn't have to embarrass him like that. I was so confused. Am I the butthole? I really...
Starting point is 00:12:23 I really love this comment from Broccoli Fartfurer. Genetics are always a game of chance. For example, a biologist can give birth to an idiot. Right? Like it's 2024. Google is a thing that exists. If you want to be like, hmm, I wonder who determines gender. Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. Oh, look at that. Guys determine gender.
Starting point is 00:12:44 Who knew the answer? Everyone knew. Isn't this like common knowledge? Don't they teach this in grade school? Like seriously, don't nine out of 10 people know that the men determine the gender because the sperm is either XY or XX. Oh P you are not the butthole. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes.
Starting point is 00:13:04 Maybe maybe though you should stop reproducing with a morole. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. Maybe, maybe though, you should stop reproducing with a moron. I'm giving, gosh, I'm giving your husband 0.5 out of 5 buttholes. I can't criticize him too much for being dumb. But for him to text you afterwards and say, how could you embarrass me like that? Yo, it's not embarrassing to point out a fact. That was r slash am I the butthole. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast
Starting point is 00:13:24 because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.

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