rSlash - r/AITA He Licked Poo Off His Fingers

Episode Date: August 19, 2026

0:00 Intro 0:07 Bothering me 2:05 Yelling 6:06 Stuff 8:26 Tik Tok account 10:50 House guest Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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To make sure your big deal is the best deal. That's C-A-R. G-U-R-U-S-D-C-A. Car gurus. I saw my friend on the other side of the street. I was heading to school with the kids. I let go of mom's hand to wave. I had already forgotten their lunches.

I ran over to hug her. She came out of nowhere. And then... It stopped. Sometimes the moments that never happen matter most. Volvo's automatic emergency braking helps ensure a safe ending for everyone. Learn more at Volvocars.ca.ca slash safety. Welcome to R.S. Am I the Butthole where Opie has to deal with a stranger who keeps

bangering his own butt and then licking it. Am I the butthole because a kid with special needs kept bothering me? So I'm on a packaged holiday. The hotel is all you can eat. There's this one family here. The oldest kid has some type of special needs. But for the past few days, he keeps putting his hands down the back of his shorts, rooting around, and then starts licking his fingers. Parents are pretty much letting him do his own thing. He helps himself to the food, without tongs, and talks to everyone, tries to give people hugs and all that. I spoke to staff who said that they'll speak to him and even get someone to dish his food for him if needed. He tried talking to me, and I made sure that I kept my distance, and he tried hugging me, and I stepped back. I spoke to the

parents and said I feel really uncomfortable with him near me and my family, and I apologized for it. Anyways, we've booked a trip, and the family is on our coach. The kid tried sitting next to me, and I refused. The mom called me rude, and I very politely and quietly said to her that I don't want to sit next to him due to his hygiene issues. She shouted at me and went, He's disabled! He can't help it! So I raised my voice and said, I don't want to sit next to someone who keeps playing with their bum and licking their fingers, I don't want shitty fingers near me, and now apparently she's the victim. The mom is now telling the son to bother me, and the hotel won't do anything. Yeah, this has nothing to do with special needs, in my opinion, and has everything to do with someone's poopy fingers getting near you and your food.

I think you have a very justifiable right to keep someone like that away from you, regardless if they're old, young, man, woman, gay, straight, special needs, non-special needs, whatever. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving those awful parents four out of five buttholes. They're weaponizing their disabled kid to go abuse strangers. Very weird behavior. Am I the butthole for yelling at a stranger who walked in my back door? I'm a 31-year-old guy, and I just had the worst nap wake up ever. A dude knocked on the doorframe of our dining room double doors as he immediately entered from the backyard entrance. Just walked into my house at 1 p.m. on a Tuesday after I'd been home sick taking a nap, calling, hey Amanda, you in? And I yelled at him to get the hell out of my house because I was calling

the cops. I immediately popped out of bed and ran to the other room. Oh, I wasn't wearing any pants either, because I was home alone taking a nap without any visitors planned. So I saw, I I always scramble out of sight around my bathroom corner, grab the desk lamp mirror thing off my wife's vanity, while dialing 911 in the other hand. Honestly, I'm feeling pretty good about my intruder response time on it, looking back. Anyways, he stopped moving further into my house, but stood inside our dining room for five seconds before asking, Is Amanda here? I said no. Does Amanda live here?

No. Did she used to live here? No, man. Get the hell out of my house! Last warning! So he finally was like, oh, sorry, and left. I hear the back door shut. I watch him through my curtains, go back out my backyard gate, and around the side. At this point, my adrenaline finally stops firing, and my fuzzy just woke up from a nap with a stranger in my house response. And I realized that there is an Amanda who lives two doors down from us. So I pull on some pants and watch for the guy to actually reverse out of my driveway.

When I see him actually leave, I hop out my front door and flag him down. I march up and pretty curtly tell him while pointing at the house. There's an Amanda that lives in that one. Could be what you're looking for. I turned back around to go back inside the house. Then he has the gall to say, Hey man, that's all you had to say. Didn't need to be yelling about the cops.

I was so incredulous right then. I whirled around to yell at him again. I said, are you freaking kidding me? Get off my driveway, a-hole! And I pulled out my phone to video him. Anyways, he left. I told my wife what happened, and she said I overreacted pretty hard, and she's going to be embarrassed the next time she has to talk to Amanda on the street.

Nothing serious, I just dropped it. But like, it made me wonder, am I the butthole here? In retrospect, the guy? guy stopped coming in when I yelled at him. But like, in my opinion, what the heck was he doing walking in the back door in the first place? And yeah, I didn't have to swear at him in the end, but I was so shocked to be getting lectured by a stranger who had just walked into my house uninvited. Let's pretend he had an invitation to walk in from this Amanda. You obviously don't know her well enough to know that this isn't her house. Why the freak are you walking around to the

back of my house and walking inside instead of just knocking on the front door. I later talked to Amanda. She laughed and said it was fine. But in hindsight, that was still dumb. She checked her rain cameras and the dude never knocked on her door. So I also filed a police report just in case. All right, let me hear it. Am I the butthole? O.P., there's a couple of things that automatically launches someone into fighting, get your ass kick territory, and this is one of them. The dude's lucky he didn't get shot, to be honest. Based on O.P.'s way of speaking, I assume he's American. Down in the comments, a lot of people are thinking that this is some kind of cover for the dude robbing O.P.'s house. You walk into a house and you say, hey, is, you know, Amanda or Rebecca,

or just some common name, is John here? And if anyone answers, then you say, oh, whoops, wrong house, my bad. But if no one answers, then you rob the house. So the reason that guy yelled at OP is probably because he's a terrible person who's a thief. Am I the butthole for telling my kids they can go get their mother stuff at the local goodwill? I lost my spouse around a year ago. It was ongoing and I knew that it was coming. All the kids are grown and out of the home. It's been a rough year and living in a home filled with their stuff has been getting too much.

It makes me depressed. It's like living in a museum that I never can get away from. I didn't realize how bad it was until I left to visit family and I, didn't want to come home. I have to live there and I decided that I want to clean it out and not make it a museum of the dead. I did keep a few things that are sentimental, but I don't need to see my spouse's shoes at the front door or the clothes that won't get worn again. I packed up a few boxes of what I want to keep and told my kids to come over and get anything of their mothers. They never came over. I told them I was going to toss or donate their mother stuff and still they

didn't come over. I did this for about a month before I started to move stuff to the garage. About two weeks ago, I started the long process of getting rid of a lot of her things. The house is much nicer, and I don't dread coming home to it anymore. I was avoiding it by going to the bar after work, but I know that I don't have to. The issue is that my daughter came over yesterday to pick up some decorations for a party. She got very upset when she saw the house and started yelling at me for getting rid of their mom's stuff. I reminded her that I was doing that and told everyone multiple times. She apparently didn't think I was serious about it and was pissed. The rest of the kids are pissed that I got rid of her stuff, that they denied them getting stuff from their mothers. Again,

I told them at least 15 times to come get anything they wanted. I even told them when I was starting to pack it up to donate. I told them to go to the local goodwill for her stuff because that's where I put basically everything. They got more pissed, saying they shouldn't have to pay for her stuff. I reminded them that I gave them plenty of time to come get things. I didn't hide this. I was very clear about this. They're still pissed. If they were decent people, they would help you haul this stuff out of your house to give you peace of mind and help you get through this morning period, instead of criticizing you for it. O.P., you get zero out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling my brother-in-law about his wife's TikTok account where she humiliates him. I'm a 31-year-old guy,

and I found out that my 40-year-old step-sister has a TikTok account where she makes videos dumping on her husband, who's 38. It's the most stereotypical account of that type that you could imagine. A lot of videos of her scrubbing a single plate, talking about how she's a stay-at-home wife, who has to clean and take care of the kids all day, and when he gets home, he doesn't help at all. Which is all BS. Because first of all, she doesn't clean that house. Her mother has to go over there twice a week to clean the house because my sister, surprise, surprise, sits on her phone all day and doesn't clean.

Second of all, their kids, 11 and 14, are in a before-and-after-school program due to them living out of town. So they don't get home until their father picks them up when he gets off work. I've known about it for a year. And I didn't really care because she can. at things relatively anonymous. But lately, she's been using his name and even posting videos of him to her account, bemoaning how her marriage sucks and how fat he is. And then, when the comments agree with her and tell her to leave him, she replies in agreement. I figured at that point, with her violating his privacy, he should be told about the account. So I sent him a text with a

link to the account and an apology for not telling him sooner. He confronted her about the things that she was saying about him. They had a huge fight, and from what I've heard, they haven't been talking. I feel a bit bad, but I also don't think I did anything wrong. My family is pretty split on the topic. My stepbrothers on my side. My stepmother is on my sister side. My dad is staying out of it, and the extended family is basically 50-50. Am I the butthole? Well, O.P., if she violated his privacy, then the way I see it, you have every right to violate her privacy. Right? Also, her violating his privacy is much, much worse than what you did, because potentially this could have ruined his public reputation, his job, maybe. What if his boss saw that? He could have gotten fired. Maybe this could have resulted in teasing our bullying of the kids at school. Who knows, man? O.P., you get zero out of five buttholes. Honestly, you should have revealed that account to your brother-in-law sooner. Am I the butthole for refusing to house my 25-year-old niece after a few days turned into maybe, forever? Me and my partner have four kids together, ages 20 to 16. The kids go back and forth to their

other parents, as we're a blended family. We live in a five-bedroom house in an established suburban neighborhood in a large-ish city. Last night, my sister called and told us she had news and a question for us. The news was that her daughter, who's 25, has been offered a job in our city. They currently live across the country from us. She asked if her daughter could live with us when she comes here. We don't have any issues with family coming to stay on their vacation with us. We have a large walkout basement with a room that could be used as a bathroom with some work. We have a hangout area our kids using the basement with the TV and couches. There's a room that could be used as a bidroom.

It has a proper window, but it needs a door. However, the bathroom is the one that the two oldest kids share together, so it wouldn't solely belong to my niece. I know we have enough space. What I know that we don't have is tolerance for open-ended guests. The ask started with, could she stay there for a couple of days,

then morphed into a month, then possibly three months, as their silly probation period on the job. This all happened within a span of minutes. My partner sister said that her daughter would probably want her own plays, eventually. Excuse me, what, eventually? Staying here for one or two weeks, sure,

but for an undetermined amount of time is a bit much to ask. The niece doesn't cook much and can be picky with food. What she does eat and can cook, we don't keep in the house due to a food allergy one of our kids has. It would be okay if she had the food in the basement, but not in our kitchen. She may bring her dog and cat, and two of my kids are super allergic, so that's a deal breaker for us. I really don't know her well. I've met her twice, and she hasn't talked to me either time.

She came off as very aloof. Her family is very sparse and evasive with information. The date she's coming out keeps changing. Where she works is a big mystery no one will divulge. Even when we flat out ask them to share it. And so many things like if her boyfriend is coming or not, or if she'll drive out a car. Me and my wife aren't fans of this Sutterfuge.

There are no state secrets with this, especially if someone is asking to live with us. Our niece is an only child who was closely parented. Her mom keeps tabs on her daughter, and I don't want to get in. involved with that. Our kids all have age-appropriate freedoms. We will not police a 25-year-old and grill her on her comings and goings. It's not our business. We feel like she needs to adult in this situation, and we're not taking on a fifth child. We don't want to upset the rest of the

family or cause any friction. Saying no will absolutely cause issues, but living together might cause so many more. So am I the butthole for not letting our niece live with us for an undisclosed amount of The biggest red flag in this post, which I'm surprised O.P. doesn't mention, is that O.P. has seemingly never heard from the niece herself. She's 25. If she wants to come live with you guys, why doesn't she talk to you? It feels like there's something fishy going on behind the scenes that I don't quite understand. But regardless, your house, your rules, O.P., if you don't want to let someone live with you rent free, then that's your prerogative. Zero out of five buttholes. That was our slash am I the butthole.

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