rSlash - r/AITA Husband Used My Personal Trauma in a "Prank"

Episode Date: August 18, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:05 Prank bro 3:43 MIL 7:56 Bonus 11:46 OF 12:51 Racist server 16:07 Thief cousin Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com to learn more. That's betterH-E-L-P dot com. Welcome to r slash am I the butthole where OP almost dies in a house fire. Am I the butthole for getting hurt and upset over a harmless prank that my husband pulled? So me and my husband have been married for five years. I'm a 24 year old woman and he's a 33 year old guy. Hmm, 5 years? So OP was 19 and her husband was 28 when they got married.

Way before we met, when I was 16, my mom's house had a house fire that burnt literally everything down. And sadly, my childhood cat was also killed in it. I remember my mom and brother waking me up screaming, FIRE! FIRE! GET UP! GET UP!

We crawled out under the smoke, and luckily, my neighbors had already called the fire department and they pulled us out. We lost literally everything. We were devastated! So that was a while ago, but it still really scared me. And I check our outlets and our stove and candles and everything like that all the time. My husband knows this about me. So two nights ago, I went to bed early because I'm currently 34 weeks pregnant.

Literally about to pop. I was asleep for a while, when suddenly my husband decided to wake me up yelling, Baby, there's a fire! Fire FIRE FIRE! GET UP! As quick as I could while 34 weeks pregnant, I got up and grabbed my purse. I was just in automatic shock and just autopilot and knew I needed what to grab. I made it all the way downstairs, yelling for my husband to follow me before he started laughing and telling me that it was a joke. It took me a minute for that to process.

I stood there with an open mouth while he laughed and ushered me down the rest of the stairs. I sat on the couch and just started sobbing. It was genuinely the hardest I've ever sobbed. It's like I couldn't get myself to stop and my whole body was shaking. My heart was racing and I couldn't breathe. I've never had this experience before. I was genuinely so panicked. I was so f-ing upset. My husband

apologized and was like, oh my god, I'm sorry. It was just a joke. I just cried until he eventually was like, what the f-? It was just a prank. This is really dramatic. After a few hours, I'd calm myself down and went to apologize to him. What? You went to apologize to him? He wouldn't accept it because he said that I was being overdramatic and made him feel like garbage for a harmless prank. So I guess I'm the butthole?

I've never been good at taking jokes, so I've been trying to be less sensitive, but I don't know. Uh, okay. OP, in addition to the fact that dredging up your past trauma to play a prank on you is just evil, that's the word for it, it's evil. On top of that, this guy literally threatened the life of both you and his unborn child. Because of this harmless prank, fear-based adrenaline was coursing through your pregnant body. Does adrenaline in a mother affect the baby? Yes,

adrenaline levels in a mother can affect the baby. Also, apparently, excessive stress in a pregnant mother can affect the baby's temperament and neurobehavioral development. Infants whose mothers experience high levels of stress while pregnant show signs of more depression and irritability. Also, did you guys catch that she had to run down the stairs while pregnant? That is also a level of danger. So this is actually really bad.

I think personally we're approaching deal breaker behavior here because this was dangerous. OP, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your husband a 3.5 out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for refusing to let my mother-in-law come over and sending her a receipt for our daughter's fridge? So my husband and I have a five-year-old daughter and I'm six months pregnant with a boy.

We appreciate that our parenting style is very different from that of our parents. We decided to promote certain autonomous behaviors from a young age. Due to my own experience with an eating disorder caused by my upbringing, we prioritize autonomy in food for our daughter and plan to do the same for our son. To foster this, we set up a tiny, semi-functional kitchen for our kids. It includes a small fridge, and my husband even rigged the sink with a weak pump. Our daughter keeps snacks in the fridge in her tiny pantry. The snacks range from bananas to individual chocolates. She has the freedom to take a portion of whatever she wants. When

she wants to cook, as in, like, make a fruit salad, she can do so. Of course, she does not have access to dangerous items, but she helps us cook when she wants to. This method has resulted in our daughter not going crazy at the prospect of candy or chips because she can decide when she wants to have them. She also knows that once she eats her snack for the week, that's it, so she has to learn to pace herself. Now to the actual story. My mother-in-law was in town for a while and we let her stay with us. I actually like her, but it's been a struggle at times because she has very set ways. She is NOT a fan of the tiny kitchen.

She thinks that we're going to make our daughter obese by allowing her to have snacks whenever she wants. On the first night, she took away the muesli bar that my daughter was eating because dinner was at 6 and it was 4. When we asked her to please give it back and not interfere, she relented and that was that. Or so I thought. Last night, our babysitter got sick and we asked my mother-in-law to watch our daughter. She agreed since it was just from 6pm to 10pm and our daughter goes to bed at 7.30pm.

Me and my husband went out for dinner and when we returned, we found our daughter awake and crying. I went to soothe her and my husband went to talk to his mother. It turns out that my mother-in-law had made baked fish with boiled potatoes for dinner. My daughter told her that she doesn't like fish because the smell makes her queasy. My mother-in-law insisted that she had to eat everything on her plate or she wouldn't be allowed to get up. Our daughter ate the potatoes and tried to eat the fish, but she gagged.

My mother-in-law got furious, took the plate away and sent her to bed early. Our daughter got hungry and went to her kitchen to make some banana oats. My mother-in-law heard her, took her food away, threw it out, and then brought out the rest of the uneaten fish, insisting she finish her dinner if she was hungry. Our daughter started crying and, while trying to eat the fish, threw up at the table. My mother-in-law changed her and cleaned up, and that's when we came home. I was livid. I immediately told my mother-in-law that her behavior was unacceptable and that she overstepped our boundaries. I made it clear that she would not be welcome to stay

with us again if she couldn't respect our parenting choices. To make matters worse, I discovered the next morning that my mother-in-law had unplugged our daughter's fridge and put it outside. It rained heavily overnight and the fridge was completely ruined. When I confronted my mother-in-law, she brushed it off saying that it was for our daughter's own good and that she didn't need a fridge. I decided to send my mother-in-law the receipt for the fridge to underline how serious we are about this. My mother-in-law thinks that I'm overreacting and that I'm being disrespectful to her

as the grandmother. My husband's on my side, but he feels caught in the middle. So am I the butthole for refusing to let my mother-in-law come over again AND for sending her a receipt for our daughter's fridge? So as for the fridge, if you just remove all the context of the story and just reduce it to simply, your mother-in-law put the fridge outside, the fridge got ruined, then yeah, the rest of the story doesn't matter, she just owes you a fridge because she broke your fridge and that's how that works. But the problem isn't that she broke your fridge, the real problem is that she broke

your trust. So you're definitely not the butthole OP. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your mother-in-law 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. It's incredibly ironic that she demands respect as a grandmother, but she's not giving you respect as the mother. Am I the butthole for not telling my husband that I got a bonus? I'm a 41 year old woman and I married my 45 year old husband last November.

We only finally moved in together a few months before the wedding. We had been dating for three years. On paper, I earn more than he does, but I end up bringing home about the same as he does because I have health, vision, dental, long term and short term disability, life insurance and retirement taking out of my check. He doesn't. We have really been butting heads over money lately. I still have to give him half the rent, but he literally pays for nothing else.

I pay for the utilities, phone bill, groceries, cleaning supplies and just about everything else. Also, our electric bill is through the roof right now because of the heatwave. The issue is that I'm often out of money by the time that I pay everything, and I'm left with absolutely nothing on some weeks. Then he tells me that I need to save my money, and he's reluctant to pay even $5 of his own money for soap. However, he is constantly finding some new hobby to hyper-focus on. Lately, it's been his electric bicycle. Every week,

there are packages with new parts for it. It's all he talks about. Back when I got my Christmas bonus, it was his RC car, which he doesn't even look at now. And I had to pay a huge amount of money for parts and sensors. When tax time came around, he found out how much my tax refund was going to be and he pestered me for weeks over a wildly expensive handgun. As in, he talked about it every waking moment. He literally wouldn't leave me alone. So I bought it because he insisted it was the one that he wanted.

He then spent a little bit of his own money buying ammo and a holster, and now it sits in a drawer. It's been fired exactly once. I like guns as much as the next person, but we have other guns. I don't understand why we had to have an $1100 gun if he won't even go to the range with it. Which leads us back to the e-bike and the present time. So I work for a small but very rapidly growing company. It's not earning a

ton of money right now, but I got in with this company at exactly the right time. Generous paid time off, pretty much unlimited voluntary overtime, constant recognition for hard work, an amazing office and loads of performance incentives. A lot of focus is on employee wellness and work-life balance. At least once a month, we get to go home early on Friday with pay and hybrid workspace options. They give away free paytime off like it's candy, always handing out bonuses even if it's just like a hundred bucks. We've been going through this huge restructuring because we're growing so quickly. I'm pretty good at what I do, so I'm often done with my work early and I've been volunteering

to pick up work from other departments because frankly, we're all collectively drowning in work. I had my annual review yesterday and I was told that I'm getting a bonus. Nothing crazy, but definitely substantial. I decided not to tell my husband. We have separate bank accounts. Bills are piling up, but I decided that I'm going to put that money into my savings account to use as my personal pocket money.

I just know that the second I mention it, he's going to corner me and pester me with photos of bike parts and god knows what else non-stop. I told my aunt and a couple of trusted close friends about it. They all say that it's amazing, but I should use the money to get caught up on bills and what if there's an emergency? I feel guilty, but I know that my life would be a living nightmare if I told them about the money. Moving out isn't an option right now.

So am I the butthole? OP, by the sound of this story, it doesn't really seem like you have a life partner slash husband. It sounds like you have a toxic roommate. For the life of me, I can't figure out why you married this guy. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving him 2 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for blowing up on a girl for telling me to subscribe to her OnlyFans? I'm a 25 year old guy, and recently I was on Bumble and matched with the girl on there who's 21. We started talking and moved over to Snapchat.

After we talked for a bit longer, she mentioned that she does OnlyFans. Now I said that it's not an issue since that kind of work is real work. However, she told me that if she truly wants me to get to know her, she wants me to subscribe to her OnlyFans and keep messaging me on there. I told her that I wasn't interested and that it came off as weird and predatory. Then she got defensive and said that it's not that bad. We had a small back and forth argument that devolved into talking in circles while I kept telling her that it's predatory to use dating apps for new customers. After about an hour of back and forth, I blocked her and unmatched with her.

Now I'm feeling kinda terrible since she said that money was tight for her, but am I the butthole for blowing up on her like that? OP, not only are you not the butthole here, but you should report her account because she's not looking for a date, she's just looking for money. Am I the butthole for not tipping after overhearing what my waitress said about me? I'm a 30 year old woman and I was at a restaurant last night with my mother. She was meeting my boyfriend's mom for the first time. We're punctual people, so we got there about 30 minutes before our reservation. We got seated with no issues. It took the waitress

20 minutes to get to our table even though the restaurant was pretty empty. Right away, I could tell that she didn't want to wait on us. She didn't greet us with a hello, she just asked what we wanted to drink. We told her, and I noticed that she didn't write our order down. It took ANOTHER 15 minutes for our drinks to get to the table, and they were wrong. It's hard to mess up a ginger ale and vodka soda, but she did. My mom pointed out that she didn't order a Pepsi, and the waitress rolled her eyes, took my mother's glass, and disappeared.

I excused myself to the washroom shortly after. I had no idea where I was going, so I went to the entrance to ask one of the hostesses there. While I was walking up to the server area, I overheard my waitress talking to some other hostesses. She was pissed that she had to wait on a black table because they never tip well. My mother and I were the only black people in the restaurant. She wasn't even whispering when she said it either. I wasn't stunned, but her lack of effort started to make sense.

I interrupted their conversation and asked where the bathroom was. I didn't let on that I had heard what they were talking about. When I got out of the bathroom, my boyfriend and his mom were already seated. My boyfriend and his mother are white. When my waitress saw the rest of our party, she did a 180. Her service was stellar. She took notes, told jokes, and our water glasses were always filled. She did not make another mistake.

Because the night went so well, I decided to treat everyone and pay the check. The waitress gave me the machine and I smiled at her while I keyed in 0% for a tip. She didn't notice until after the receipt had been printed out. By that time, all of us had already started to leave. She tapped me on the shoulder and asked me if I had made a mistake on the bill. I told her I didn't think so and I looked at the receipt. She asked if there was a problem with her service and I said her service was fantastic, but since I'm a black woman, I don't tip well. Her face went white, which is kind of a pun, OP, and she kind of laughed

nervously and I laughed as well. I walked out after that, but my boyfriend's mom asked what had happened. I told her what I'd overheard and my boyfriend's mom said that I should have tipped her anyway because it shows character. She seemed pretty pissed at me after that. My boyfriend and my mom are both on my side, but I'm wondering if I should have just thrown in a $2 tip. You know what I'd love to know is if OP and her white boyfriend have a mixed-race baby, and then this exact same scenario happens to OP's mixed-race baby, do you think OP's mother-in-law would have said to her granddaughter,

well, I think you should have thrown in a $2 tip to your racist waitress? In my opinion, OP, you were too gentle about this. If I were in your shoes, I would have told the manager what happened and asked for a different waitress, at minimum. More likely just gotten up and left the restaurant entirely. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your racist waitress 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for refusing to let my cousin into my house after he stole $2000 worth of games from me when he was a teenager. 10 years ago, I let my cousin into my house when he was 16. Every one of my video games he handled that day was missing the next week. He took the discs from the cases and who knows what happened to the discs

after that. Some of the games were rare and out of print. As soon as my mother found out, I told his father, my uncle, about this. And my mom called my uncle up and told him that because I was diagnosed with having Asperger's, I didn't really know that my cousin stole the games from me. My cousin got away from stealing from me because of that. My mother later admitted that she knew that she lied to my uncle because she was worried that my cousin being grounded all summer would be bad for his mental health. Now that I have a house, I refuse to let this cousin into it until he apologizes for stealing from me. My family is telling me that I'm being childish because he was a child when he

stole from me, but I think he learned that it was safe to steal from me thanks to my mother's intervention. How should I handle this? Yo, I like how your mother seems to think that getting grounded is bad for your mental health, but having someone come and steal all of your possessions is just totally fine for your mental health. OP, expecting an apology from your cousin doesn't go nearly far enough. I would want an apology AND $2000 in cash. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your cousin and your mom 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your cousin and

your mom 2 out of 5 buttholes. That was r slash am I the butthole and if you liked this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day.