rSlash - r/AITA I Called the Cops on My Own Parents

Episode Date: May 1, 2026

0:00 Intro 0:05 BBQ 5:08 Moving out 8:38 Flirting 10:55 The deed Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Amazon presents Laura versus Fruitflies. Swarming your fruit and terrorizing your kitchen, these little freaks multiply at a rate that would make a rabbit say, yo. Chill. But Laura shopped on Amazon and saved on cleaning spray, countertop wipes, and fly traps. Hey, fruit flies, your baby boom ends here. Save the Everyday with Amazon. There's something else here now.

Something new. From exclusively on Paramount Plus. It's the series Stephen King calls Scary as Hell. Everything here is impossible, but it's also real. Sci-Fi Vision calls it the best show streaming right now. We're running out of time and we still don't know the rules. Don't miss what the movie blog calls something you need to watch. Saving those children is how we all go home.

From Binge All Episodes exclusively on Paramount Plus. Welcome to R-slash Am I the Butthole, where O.P. calls the cops on her husband's family. Am I the butthole for getting the cops called on my husband's family during his planned barbecue? I'm a 34-year-old woman, married to John for nine years. We have three kids. I do not get along with John's family, but I play nice for his sake, with the exception of his sister, who's 43, that we'll call Scum for the sake of this post. Now, for the first five years of my marriage, Scum was my best friend. We were inseparable, planned every event together. I stayed at her place often for girls' nights.

We even worked together. But back three years ago, Scum's husband laid hands on my son and bruised his face in three spots. He was six. My husband lost his cool, understandably, and threw hands. Scum's husband didn't fight back. He apparently only uses hands on kids, not min his size. Scum took her husband's side, lied to the point. police about what happened, claiming my son fell and my husband assumed the worst and attacked her

husband unprovoked and pressed charges. Despite my son having obvious bruising and him telling police that Scum's husband hit him before slamming his face off a wall, the police arrested my husband and not Scum's husband. Why? Because Scum was a public defender and held more merit and social status. It was a long legal battle. My husband's charges were dropped, but not a single soul in this area would take on my son's case, and ultimately, Scum's husband walked free with the protection order against us. The only family we've talked to since that point is my mother-in-law, who's continuously tried telling us to just apologize to Scum's husband for the sake of family, which we've refused openly. And we've told her not to discuss them in our presence

anymore. She seemed to get the hint when we told her that we would go no contact with her, but apparently she was just scheming. Fast forward to this past weekend. It's been three years since this happened, and one year since charges were dropped, and the protection order became void. My husband wanted to have a barbecue at our new home. My family couldn't make it, as they all live out in Florida, so it was mainly just our friends that were invited, but my husband invited his mother. Well, my mother-in-law shows up here with Scum, Scum's 13-year-old daughter, Scum's 23-year-old stepdaughter, my husband's aunt, who used to abuse my husband's brother,

my husband's uncle, and the uncle's 12-year-old daughter. I ask my husband why Scum is here, and he immediately says, I have no effing clue. Probably because of my mother. I'll handle it. He did not handle it. He became a mute. He didn't confront his mother. He didn't say anything when Scum approached us talking about how all of this was a big misunderstanding, and it could be resolved if we would just apologize and move on. My husband just stood there. So I told them all to leave. Calmly at first, but scum started arguing, saying that all of this was blown out of proportion and that I needed

to understand where she was coming from, because it's her husband, and she took vows and how I would do the same thing if I were in her shoes. I told her, no, if my husband did that, I would make him eat doo-doo myself and toss him out like garbage and that she was trash. This led to loads of screaming and the police were called by neighbors. I told the police that scum and her entire family needed to be removed as they were not invited, trespassing and made a point to tell them why they weren't welcome around myself or my children. The police did not take this information lightly and ultimately started treating scum like garbage and got handsy with her when she started arguing with them. Needless to say, I'm now being deemed a problem and have been accused of intentionally trying

to get scum attacked in front of our children over something that happened years ago, all because I would rather hold a grudge than forgive and move on for the sake of family unity. My husband isn't speaking to me still, despite it being a week well past. He said, you should have done as you were told and let me effing handle it, because it's his family. Well, yeah, O.P., you are holding a grudge, but some grudges should be held onto. They should be held onto with an iron steel grip, nurtured and kept alive for millennia if necessary. I'd say someone beating up your six-year-old kid is one of those grudges that should be held on to. I'm solidly on your side, O.P., and I think we're getting into divorce territory here, to be honest with you, because it's honestly disgusting

that your husband is trying to paint you as the bad person for kicking out. the abusers of your child and he's what defending them. Basically him saying nothing to them is effectively defending them because doing nothing is a choice in many situations. O.P., you get zero out of five buttholes. Scum gets 4.5 out of five buttholes. The mother-in-law gets 3.5 out of 5 out of buttholes and I think I'm giving the husband also 3.5 out of 5 buttholes, maybe 4. Am I the butthole from moving out after my wife let our kids move home? My wife and I have been married for 30 years. We have two adult children who both have degrees and careers. Six months ago, our daughter moved home after a breakup. I offered to help her get an apartment, but her mom said that I was

being heartless and let her move back. Then, four months ago, our son moved back home because his job offered him the opportunity in our city. He had moved away to accept a job in a rural town straight out of college. Both kids are employed and were able to support themselves prior to their mom allowing them to move in. wife because our bills started going up. All of our utilities have increased with the kids back home. Also our grocery bills. It's nuts how much more money I have to put in. Once again, she said I should be happy the kids are home. I tried talking to the kids individually and together. They said they understood my position and then the little effers went and cried to their mom. I said, eff it. I talked to my boss and took a contract that takes me out of town for a month at a time. I've been

avoiding these because I'm old and have seniority. I put my share of the budget in our shared account. I went to work, and it was glorious. I had a hotel room to myself, $160 bucks a day for living allowance. The work is simple. I called my wife every day to check in and see how everything's going. The first month, everything went well. Then I got my week off. I went for walks every morning and had breakfast out. Lunch, I ate out again, just a meal replacement smoothie or a bar. Then for dinner, I ate at local restaurants. I got home, watched some TV, and went to sleep. The second month, my wife asked me for money while I was away. I asked why. She said that our budget didn't cover the bills. I asked for proof that the budget we agreed on did not cover the bills, or why was there a sudden

rise in the bills. She said I damn well knew why the budget wasn't covering the bills. I told her to make the kids pay their parts. She wouldn't and took the extra money from her savings. I took my week off and visited my family in Ireland. The third month, we were talking, and she said the kids were giving her money, but it wasn't enough. I asked her how much they gave her. A hundred bucks each for utilities and groceries, so 200 total, and it didn't cover the bills. I was shocked. I said I wasn't going to pay to house and feed three adults with full-time jobs that couldn't afford to pay their own way. For the record, the three of them together earn almost twice what I do. They can absolutely take care of themselves. My wife is basically begging me for money now. The money she would normally

use for hair and other beauty appointments are now going towards groceries. She's skipping out on meeting up with her friends because she doesn't have the money. She asked me to talk to the kids about giving more money. I laughed and said I'd done that and they tattled to her and she said that I was a monster for being mean to her poor babies. That's an exaggeration. It didn't happen exactly that way. Before you ask, I love my kids, but I feel no need to pay for their lives. My wife and I have lots of problems, but we're working on them and we're doing okay before she decided to let the kids move back. And yeah, I absolutely am a grumpy old bastard. I like my privacy. I like not having to wait for a bathroom at home. Opie, I'm on your

side. Your kids are selfish and entitled and your wife is enabling them. You get zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving the rest of your family, two out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for kicking my brother out for flirting with my wife? I'm a 25-year-old guy, and my wife is 25. We've been together since high school. She's sweet, smart, soft, shy, and fiercely loyal, and this situation just proves that. I love her more than anything. She's the love of my life. My 35-year-old brother recently got kicked out by my parents because he's never worked a real job. just weird, low-paying nonsense, and recently quit another one of those weird, low-paying nonsense jobs. My parents understandably lectured him again, and he lost his mind from what my mom told me.

He was going to be homeless, so my parents begged me to let him live with me for a while. I decided to help. My wife also deciding that maybe we could help him. The conditions were that he'd clean his room, look for a job, and not be a lazy bum. My wife and I both work from home, so we'd be with him the entire day. Six days ago, my wife came to me and told me he was flirting with her, like not just saying she's pretty, but more like telling her that he'd give her a better life and telling her to sleep with him. She insulted him quite badly by calling him a useless old man who's nearly 40,

and who doesn't even own a car or have a life or even a girlfriend. To that, he responded by being rude to me in my own house, telling me what to do because he's older. And my wife telling me all this made me see why he was acting like a child. I told him to get out of my house. We ended up fighting, swearing, and screaming for about 10 minutes. When my wife called my parents, who came and picked him up. My wife was crying, while my parents shouted at both of us and shouted at me, for what I really don't know. He started the shouting, not me. After they left, I was just so angry and cried to my wife, and we both cried for a good ten or or 15 minutes. My brother is back with our parents who are now pissed at me. I don't feel like the

butthole, but at the same time I kind of do. O. P, your brother is a loser and your parents are turning him into a loser, or rather they did turn him into a loser. He has no consequences, no accountability, and if I were in your shoes, I would have kicked him out too. You and your wife gets zero out of five buttholes. Everyone else gets four out of five. Am I the butthole for laughing when my little sister walked in on my parents. My little sister, who's 12, came into my room in a panic claiming that she couldn't find our parents. It was 11 p.m.

For context, I'm a 16-year-old girl. She said that she could see movement in our dad's van and that she was going to go and check it out. I, knowing what she might find, told her not to. But she didn't listen and I was barely awake, so I just told her to go back to bed. I figured she would just look out the front door and go back to bed. Five minutes later, she came back into my room, bright red, crying a bit, and looking traumatized,

saying she went to the van, knocked on the door, and when she got no reply, she slid the door open, only to see our parents both naked and in a compromising position. I was, and still am quite tired, so my first response was to burst out laughing and tell her that it happens to everyone, and that it's just an awkward part of growing up. She did not take this very well, and went back to her room. Our house has pretty thin walls, so I can currently hear her getting the talk from our mom. I feel pretty bad that I laughed, but in my defense, I was half asleep, and it's currently my time of the month, so I've been a bit emotionally unstable because of it.

Plus, I pretty much went through the same thing on multiple occasions, and now know to just stay in my room at night. It didn't occur to me in the moment that she wouldn't listen and would go to investigate. Am I in the wrong? All children, teenagers, young adults need to learn lessons about how the world works. Sometimes people learn the easy way. Hey, don't open that door. Sometimes people learn the hard way. Oh my God, shut the door! O.P., you get zero out of five but holes. Your sister should have learned the easy way. Your sister had the chance to learn the easy way, but she chose the hard way.

Down in the comments, we have this story from Boo Boo Boo. My teenage years were spent in a basement bedroom, directly beneath my parents. Far as I'm concerned, they use their bed as a trampoline several times a month, and you're not going to convince me otherwise. That was R-slash-M-I-the-butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.