rSlash - r/AITA I Demanded My in-Laws Pay Me $170,000/Year

Episode Date: July 22, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:08 Money 2:51 No forgiveness 7:26 Naming 10:09 Pick up 13:08 OCD 14:38 Comment Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Welcome to r slash Am I the Butthole, where OP asks her in-laws to give her $170,000 per year. Am I the Butthole for asking my future in-laws for money? My fiance's parents are loaded. Old money loaded. They can afford what I'm asking, no problem. I make very good money at my job. I'm currently 27 and earn over 170k a year. My fiance Tim is a teacher. He doesn't make as much, but he has a trust fund so he works sort of as a public service. It's big in his family.

Recently, I had a weird conversation with him and his folks. They think that after the wedding, I should quit working and be a stay-at-home mom. I thought they were joking and I kinda laughed. They were perfectly serious. They think it's emasculating that I earn more than Tim. Over the course of my career, I'll earn much more than him. But his trust fund is in the low seven figures. He can afford to pay me what I earn yearly, but he can't due to the stipulations of his trust. His mom, on the other hand, has lots of interest built up in her trust. So I offered a solution that I thought was fair.

They set up an unrecoverable trust for me. They must contribute my gross earnings yearly with bums for anticipated raises and promotions. The deposits would be for the next 35 years. That way, I'm a stay-at-home mom, Tim is the breadwinner, and I'm protected in case of divorce. They went effing nuts. Apparently, I'm ridiculous for thinking they'll give me money. I offered a compromise. I sign a prenup wherein I'm entitled to thinking they'll give me money. I offered a compromise. I sign a prenup wherein I'm entitled to half of Tim's trust fund in case of divorce or of me giving up my career.

That's also not acceptable to them. I'm kind of at a loss. Do they honestly think that I would give up my career with zero safety net? My mom says that I'm being kind of rude putting everything in such stark monetary terms. I think that I'm being reasonable. What do you think? Okay first off your mom is dumb. Everything on earth is in such stark monetary terms because money makes the world go round. If you don't have it you'll die or be homeless. Like it's such crazy hypocrisy.

They think it's okay to ask you to give up 170k a year, but you can't ask them to give up 170k a year? Where's the logic? And then in a divorce, they walk away with everything and you walk away with a ruined career? OP, I think the solution here is to just cut out the parents entirely from the conversation because their opinion is irrelevant. What matters is what you and Tim decide

together. Have a conversation with them, try to figure out what the two of you want together, and then work towards making it happen. That's basically what marriage is, a partnership. Am I the butthole for telling my brother-in-law that I'll never forgive his daughter and I have no intention of ever having her near my family again. I'm a 30 year old woman and my husband is 35. This story involves my older sister's family, specifically Kelly, their 15 year old daughter. My sister has a blended family with her biological son, her husband, and her stepdaughter. I would say it's still a work in progress for them,

but we all accepted and included her husband Joe and her stepdaughter Kelly into our lives. A few weeks ago, my husband and I organized a little get-together at our place to celebrate my birthday, and for people in our family to spend time with our six-month-old son. The people who were present were my sister and her family, plus our parents, so it was very intimate and chill. Everything went well, and nothing out of the ordinary happened. But some days after the gathering, my nephew Kevin, who's 14, came to our house and asked

to speak to me about something concerning. For context, Kevin and Kelly attend the same school and have the same mutual friends. My nephew told me that Kelly's been telling her friends that during that gathering, she saw her step-uncle's dong, as in my husband's dong. She claims she was in the bathroom and my husband entered without knocking and he had his dong outside of his pants. And this is how she ended up seeing it. This is absurd because my husband doesn't do this even when we're alone in our home

and honestly who does that when they know they have guests over? So I asked everyone who was present that day to meet at my parents' house, and we confronted Kelly. She started crying and confessed that she lied to her friends. According to her, all of her girlfriends had already had some sort of intimate experience, and she had none by this point. So she invented this story to look cool in front of her friends. I lost it, called her a disgusting piece of garbage, a psychopath, and told her that she risked my son's father's life just to boost her stupid social life among her friends. I told the rest of my family that going forward, I will never bring my family near Kelly again. The

consequences for this girl came fast. My nephew told everybody at school the truth. My sister and Joe went to school and informed the principal about what happened, so in case any teacher hears that BS, they know that it's made up and they won't take action. My parents cut contact with Kelly and they will not host her in their house anymore. And my sister refuses to have Kelly live with them, so she was permanently moved to her mother's place. Before you start judging my sister for this, please keep in mind that she has a biological son who needs to be protected. If Kelly could so easily invent and tell those things about my

husband, who can guarantee that she won't lie about her stepbrother too? Now Joe is obviously hurt and torn about everything that happened. He keeps telling me that Kelly is depressed and wants to apologize to my family, but I keep refusing. I explain to him that I don't need her apology and she shouldn't waste her time with this because I'll never forget what happened or move past it. Joe keeps begging me to forgive her because she's just a stupid teenager and maybe if

my sister sees me forgiving her she'll be willing to eventually accept Kelly back. I told Joe that a stupid teenager can have the power to ruin a man's life and reputation so I'm not risking it. Also, I fully support my sister, and I want to protect my nephew too. Before Kelly was moved to her mother's, Kevin stayed with me and my husband for some days, so I don't regret my decision at all. I stand by everything that I said, but I do feel bad for my brother-in-law. Regardless of how messed up his daughter is, he's a great guy, respectful, and he really values the concept of family and honesty.

So I don't know, I guess I want to ask if I was the butthole towards him. Look, sometimes teenagers do stupid things, a lot of the times teenagers do stupid things actually. But just because it's a teenager being dumb doesn't mean that it doesn't have real life consequences. She could have absolutely ruined the life of OP's husband. He could have been to jail. He could have been a sex offender for life.

He could have lost custody of any kids that OP has. What happened was a pretty big deal, and OP shouldn't apologize or feel bad for reacting like it was a big deal. It sucks, but actions have consequences. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving Kelly 3 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for silently changing my son's name after my brother and sister-in-law gave my nephew the same name too? My wife and I had our son 4 months ago.

We had a name chosen early in her pregnancy. We kept that name to ourselves, but my sister-in-law, married to my brother, found it out when she was still pregnant with my nephew, who's almost 7 months old now. She never said how she found out. She just told us that she loved the name. Congratulations, and she couldn't wait to meet him. We assume she snooped because she was told not to. I even mentioned it to my brother, and he said that his wife does like to browse through people's things, but it was no biggie. Then, when my nephew was born, they announced his name, and it was the name we chose. The same first, middle, and last name.

My brother called right after my sister-in-law posted the announcement and he told me to keep quiet because his wife had a rough birth and she didn't need drama and he knew we might not like it but she really wanted the name. Her reason? My brother and I have matching twin-like names and my sister-in-law wanted to connect our two boys by just giving them the same name, so they were each other's namesake. My wife and I talked it over, and we decided to pick a different name. But we'd pretend to keep the original name until there was zero risk of my sister-in-law changing my nephew's name.

Six months after a birth, it's harder to make a change in our state. We only started telling people the true name last week. My parents and sisters said that it made sense. My friends and my in-laws understood why we did it. My brother told me that I upset his wife by silently doing this and taking away her choice to match the boys. He told me it was a dick move. I told him that his wife using the full name that we chose was a dick move.

I asked him if he considered how much tougher it would be if both boys enrolled in the same schools with the very same name. Not to mention banking, doctors, dental, all kinds of stuff. He told me that plenty of people have the same name and it's not a big deal and it's harder to mix stuff up now and we're just trying to gatekeep names. I think he's crazy. So does my wife. My wife said that my brother clearly doesn't want the sister-in-law to be mad. But am I the butthole for what I did? Like, are we weird for thinking of this kind of stuff? Yo, why are you even posting this? The sister-in-law is the butthole for snooping, and then also

the butthole for stealing your name, and then also the butthole for getting mad at you for changing the name after the fact. What a dumb weirdo. OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your brother and sister-in-law 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for letting daycare call child protective services when my soon-to-be-ex-husband failed to pick up our toddler from daycare? Me and my husband are in a trial separation. He wants half custody. It's been several months, and it was his 8th time that

daycare has called me because he was unable to pick up our toddler. Sometimes he's just a no-show, and the daycare would call me because it's already been half an hour since their official close time. Every time, the daycare is pissed at me for making them stay overtime and we're charged $2 per minute for being late. They threaten to call the authorities and CPS if we keep doing this. I tried to explain the problem, but daycare doesn't care, as they shouldn't. Well, last week it happened again, and I told the daycare to go ahead and call the authorities and CPS My soon-to-be ex-husband showed up an hour late and met our toddler there with the cops

Daycare also threatened to kick our toddler out again Understandably, so my soon-to-be ex-husband was so mad and said that I was a oh my god a cruel mother for Abandoning our toddler. Yo, what about you dude? I told him I warned him multiple times in the past, and issues only arise when he has custody. I told him repeatedly that if he can't get out of work reliably, he needs to hire a babysitter or nanny, and he can't rely on me as his primary backup. I'd get it if this happens like once or twice a year, or if the babysitter's plans fell through. But if I'm his ex-wife and he has custody, he shouldn't depend on me as his primary backup.

And I also felt bad about leaving our toddler, but if we separated, this would only keep happening, and I felt short-term pain might be worth the long-term gain. I feel bad that our toddler was caught in the middle, but was I the butthole for letting the daycare call CPS? For context, we both have high-paying jobs. But I intentionally do not schedule myself to work late on days that I have him, or I have a nanny or babysitter ready. Now with the trial separation, I've cut down to half time. I work half days on the days that I have our toddler so I can spend time with him. And I work long days on days that I'm child free. He has made no changes to his schedule. This husband reminds

me of the phrase, every accusation is a confession. Dude, you're the one who abandoned the toddler, so don't accuse other people of abandoning the toddler when you abandoned them in the first place, man. God, these people. OP, you have a rock solid, crystal clear, easy peasy zero out of five bottles. In fact, I think it was very wise of you to do this because now that this is officially on record,

it'll be super easy to get custody once you go to trial. And to be clear, you should have custody because your husband abandons his toddler. I'm giving your ex-husband 3 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling my OCD roommate to get over it? I'm Jewish. My roommate is not. I asked her if it was okay with her if I put a mezuzah by our front door. For those who don't know, this is a small rectangular case that's affixed to the wall

or door frame that holds a scroll. We're supposed to have it by our front door. She said it was fine, so I ordered one and put it up. The mezuzah is supposed to tilt a little towards the door and not be straight up and down. I hung it the correct way and my roommate got angry saying she needed it to be straight. I informed her that it isn't traditionally hung that way. I did straighten it a little but kept a slight tilt. She was still angry about it. Like screaming angry. I reminded her that I endure the absolute explosion of Christmas decorations every year

and I never complained. And this was just a small piece of metal. She said this was different since it set off her OCD. I said I would take it down then. So I took it down and there were holes in the wall where I had screwed it into the wall. I paid for maintenance to fill them, but the fill the maintenance guy used is a slightly different shade than the rest of the wall. Apparently, this ALSO sets off her OCD, and she's angry with me now. I was just so done with the whole situation, and said she really needs to get over it.

She said that I was the butthole for saying that since she has OCD. Is she right? Down in the Commons, Sunlight Doghair says, Hi, I have OCD. It gets worse when other people accommodate you like this. This is often something you get told in therapy. So she's not in therapy. She's just raw-dogging OCD and asking those around her to accommodate her worsening symptoms.

You wouldn't even be helping her. Not the butthole. Yeah, I think the even worse thing than the OCD argument is the hypocrisy, because if she can put up Christmas decorations, then you can put up a mezuzah. That was r slash am I the butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.