rSlash - r/AITA I Gave Such Terrible X-Mas Gifts it Ruined My Marriage

Episode Date: February 9, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:06 Xmas gifts 4:41 Family joke 7:11 Total klepto 9:16 Baby shower 11:58 Mad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling. Winning. Which beats even the 27th best feeling saying I do. Who wants his last parachute? I do. Enjoy the number one feeling. Winning. In an exciting live dealer studio.

Exclusively on FanDuel Casino. Where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. Welcome to r slash am I the butthole where OP gets the last laugh against her toxic in-laws. Am I the butthole for giving terrible Christmas gifts and ruining my marriage? I'm a 31 year old woman and I married my soon to be ex-husband, who's 33, in 2018. My in-laws never liked me and made that clear.

My husband insisted they're just putting up a tough exterior and they'll grow to love me. To show you how evil they are, one time I joined them for dinner and brought a cake that I'd made. When I stepped into the kitchen and offered the cake to his mother as a thank you for inviting me, she took the plate over to the garbage bin, dumped it in, and handed me the plate back. When I told my husband what she did, he confronted her, and all of a sudden the crocodile tear started, and she claimed she grabbed the plate but didn't get a good grip. That I let go too quickly and it fell to the floor, so of course it had to be thrown

away. My sister-in-law confirmed that's what happened. My husband owns his own business, and his family called me a gold digger behind his back. Of course, they insisted on a prenup, which I didn't care about because I never thought my marriage would end. And it would appease them, and it may allow them to finally treat me kindly. Nope!

His business failed once Covid hit. We went through his savings and my own trying to keep it afloat. I refused to go into debt to keep it going, so he closed it down. In 2020, he was suffering from really bad depression because he lost his business and couldn't find new work. He suggested we move to his hometown, closer to his family, so he had a larger support network. Against my best judgement, we did that.

He wanted to only work part time while he tried to restart his business, so I became the main breadwinner. And as with most wives, I became the person in charge of buying gifts. Stupid old me thought that buying them thoughtful, expensive gifts would finally make them see I wanted to be accepted by them. Gifts they gave to us were couple gifts, but clearly only meant for my husband. We spent every holiday with them, monthly dinners with the whole family. After a year, I realized that if I ever tried to talk or join a conversation, everyone would go quiet, so I just stopped talking when I visited.

In early December, they finalized plans for Christmas. A few days later, my husband said his family decided they didn't want me to join them for Christmas dinner and Christmas lunch because I ruined the family vibe. I replied, fine, we'll do our own thing instead. My husband sheepishly looked away and said that he was still going to go. I was livid and so disappointed in him. That was the moment I knew my marriage was over. So I returned the presents that I'd bought for his family. In their place, I got one pair of novelty business socks for my father-in-law, a supermarket brand bottle of shampoo for my mother-in-law, the nastiest perfume bottle I could find at

the dollar store for my sister-in-law. The most expensive gift was a large rawhide bone for my brother-in-law and his wife's chihuahua. The thing was too big for it to get its jaw around, rendering it useless. I saved about $600 to put on a deposit for a new apartment. My husband came home from Christmas lunch telling me I humiliated him and embarrassed him in front of his family. I asked him why would he think I'd buy nice gifts from people who clearly don't like me and don't want me around. I served him divorce papers last week.

Remember how he was supposed to be a millionaire by now so we had a prenup? Well, my soon to be ex isn't eligible for any of my savings. Or alimony. He doesn't have money for rent and auto insurance. Not my problem anymore. Some of my friends and family are on my side and proud that I went out in a blaze of glory. Others are telling me that I was being way too petty, which isn't really like me. So am I the butthole? Also, down in the comments, OP clarifies,

my husband only worked 12 hours a week at Walmart so that he could do non-existent work restarting his business. I make just over six figures and I can't believe I didn't realize years ago that I was the family ATM. OP, one final gift you may want to consider is sending your ex-husband flowers or chocolates are something to thank him for insisting on the prenup. Because that prenup is saving you a lot of money. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your husband and his family 3 out of 5 buttholes.

Am I the butthole for leaving my sister's wedding after she made me the butt of a family joke? I'm a 25 year old woman, and I've always been the responsible one in my family. I've helped raise my younger siblings, worked two jobs during college, and even financially supported my parents when they hit a rough patch. My older sister, Rachel, who's 30, has always been the family favorite. She's outgoing, funny, and everyone gravitates towards her. She got married last weekend, and things hit the fan. For context, Rachel's always had this playful habit of roasting me at family gatherings. It started with harmless jabs, like calling me Mom Junior because I'd remind everyone

to take their meds or clean up after themselves. I laughed it off for years, but at some point, it turned mean-spirited. She started calling me Miss Buzzkill, saying I didn't know how to let loose because I preferred reading at home over clubbing. Fast forward to the wedding. Rachel asked me to give a toast as her maid of honor. I thought that it was a huge honor, so I worked hard on a heartfelt speech about her finding love and the bond we share as sisters. But when it was Rachel's turn to speak, she gave this whole jokey speech about the woman I've always looked up to as a reminder

of what NOT to be. She then went on to jokingly compare me to a 1950s sitcom mom who probably schedules fun time. Everyone laughed, but I felt humiliated in front of 200 guests. Even my parents were cracking up. I wanted to keep it together, but after the speeches ended, I quietly excused myself to the bathroom to cry. When I got back, the jokes hadn't stopped.

People at my table were still making comments about me being a buzzkill while pouring drinks. I couldn't take it anymore. I grabbed my purse and left. Since the wedding, Rachel's been blowing up my phone calling me dramatic and saying I ruined her big day by storming off. My parents are siding with her, saying it was just a joke and I need to loosen up. I told them I'm done being the family punchline, and now everyone's calling me selfish for making the wedding about me.

OP, you didn't make the wedding about you. Your sister made the wedding about you when she decided to roast you for her speech. She couldn't talk about, oh, I don't know, her husband? Joining her husband's family? The future they're gonna have together? Maybe having kids one day? No, she spends the time roasting you? Why?

OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your sister 2 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for declining to invite a woman who's called herself a total klepto into my home? I joined a women's social club 6 months ago because I've been struggling to make friends after relocating to a new to me city. I hang out most often with the women who like to read, do crafty things, bake, sky watch, etc.

Among these women is Andrea, who has made several comments about how she's a total klepto. I think she makes these comments to seem cool to the other people in the group. I reached out to some of the other women that I see regularly at these events and invited them over to my place to watch a TV show that we'd been talking about and do crafty stuff. They were excited and agreed to come. Unfortunately, Andrea found out. I assumed someone asked if she was going, and she reached out to me to ask if she was

invited. I considered this for a bit and then told her no, as I only had so much room at home. She didn't believe me and asked me for the real reason, saying, I thought we got along, which yeah is true. I told her I'm not comfortable inviting a kleptomaniac into my home, that I've worked hard to have things that I have, and it would be stupid for me to invite her knowing that she openly brags about it. She said, okay, very quietly.

She then said, you're painting me out to be some horrible criminal when you don't even know anything about me. I said that her being proud to call herself a klepto was all I needed to know. She said that I was a high school mean girl and an ableist. I am unsure what the foundation for that statement is. This has unfortunately spilled over to the group, which is frustrating. But what has me the most surprised is that there are so many people defending her and telling me that I'm out of touch and take things too literally. Am I?

OP, we've discovered that not only is she a klepto, but she's also a manipulating constant victim. Oh, woe is me. Why won't OP let me steal her TV? OP, this is easy. You get zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving the klepto two out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling my pregnant sister that I wanted nothing more to do with

her baby shower? I'm in my thirties, and my youngest sister who's in her early thirties is pregnant with her first child. The family is thrilled for her as she and her partner have been trying for a long time to get pregnant. When she announced it, she mentioned that she was having a baby shower and my sister and I offered to help out where we can. For some reason, she took that as, my brother said that he would pay for the baby shower and drafted a guest list of 120 people. I decided to text her one day and

ask her what her budget was and I heard nothing for at least a day. My other sister and my mom mentioned that I'd said to her that I would pay for the whole thing. That was never something I'd offered to do. She never addressed it with me directly and said that she and her partner would pay for everything. I took charge of creating the eVite, registration site, driving an hour away to book the hall and put a deposit down, offered to do the centerpieces, pay for the stroller, driving back to the hall to add extra time to the reservation, agree to pick up food on the day of, answer every inquiry from her

guests who've registered in the system, etc. We saw my sister last week and she texted me on Monday saying, if he doesn't want to do the games then tell me so I can give it to someone else. I finally messaged back and said that I thought her message was a little harsh and if she was trying to imply something, then she should just say it out loud. She then responded by saying, Fine, I'm disappointed by how much work you've put into this shower. That's when I lost it.

I was objective and listed everything I contributed so far. I also pointed out that I never agreed to pay for a baby shower with 120 guests. I had less people at my own wedding. In addition to this, she complains about other people in her life to my mom and sister about how no one is pitching in. She asked my mom what she was contributing to the shower. My 70-year year old retired mother was taken aback by that comment and offered to cook food for 120 people. Oh my god. My sister's been so ungrateful throughout this entire process and has since uninvited me

to her shower and sarcastically said, enjoy your 40th and remove me from my sibling group chat. I think what this is, is just pure greed. She knows that every person she invites will probably give her a gift, so the more people she invites equals more gifts. And then offloading all the responsibility to someone else means she pays nothing but gets a bunch of stuff in return. OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes, your sister gets 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for being mad at my husband for saying he would pick his deceased wife over me?

I'm a 34 year old woman, and my husband, who's 37, was married once before me. She was his high school sweetheart. They started dating their junior year, survived long distance during college, and got married when they were both 23, very shortly after graduating college. She passed away unexpectedly at the age of 26 from an aneurysm and it obviously devastated him, especially because they were extremely young. They never had children. He contemplated remarrying because he was so heartbroken, but we ended up meeting about

4 years after that. We got married when I was 31 and he was 34 and have two children. Last night we were at a friend's potluck gathering. Everything was going well until one of our friends brought up a new topic that had to do with relationships. She's newly divorced so it was about her divorce. Others were chiming in with past relationships from high school, college, etc. I said I never thought that I would get married because my luck with men has always been terrible until I met my husband and I said that I felt very lucky to have him. After a little while longer, my husband brings up his deceased wife. Everyone knows that he was married before me and that she passed. He was talking about her and then drops a bomb and goes,

if she walked through that front door right now, I'd pick up where we left off. If I'm being honest, it felt like someone put my heart into a blender and punched me in the gut as hard as they could. Everyone in the room could sense the awkwardness that followed. To avoid making a scene, I just laughed it off even though I think it was still obvious that it hurt me. I just felt that if you still feel that way, then why are we married? I've never asked him to get over his wife. I've never had a deceased spouse or even a deceased partner, so I'm unsure how that feels. But I would never SAY THAT in front of my new spouse!

After the gathering, we left, and I didn't speak to him the entire car ride home or barely the entire night. I did tell him that what he said hurt my feelings deeply and that we could talk in the morning once I've calmed down because I didn't want to say something mean to him. I ended up sleeping on the couch because he wouldn't leave me alone. It's now the next morning and I barely slept. He's still sleeping. I'm not really sure what to say or what he'll say. Then one day later, OP posted an update which is EXTREMELY long, which I'll just summarize to say

that the husband apologized, he had been drinking so there was some alcohol involved, and OP cautiously accepted the apology as long as they go to couples therapy counseling together. OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes, obviously. What your husband did here was deeply disrespectful. And it's one of those things that once it's said can never be taken back. And in my opinion, we're entering divorce territory because this is just fundamentally damaging. So I'm giving your husband 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. That was r slash am I the butthole and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day.