rSlash - r/AITA I Had an Affair With My Daddy?

Episode Date: July 8, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:06 Nurse 3:04 Keys 10:37 Gym 14:29 Same league Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Buy your online Go Pass ahead of the show at Gotransit.com slash tickets. Welcome to r slash am I the butthole where OP is apparently having an affair with her father. Am I the butthole for getting a new nurse fired for accusing me of having an affair with my father? I'm a hospital social worker at a small hospital. My dad is one of the emergency room day shift charge nurses. A few weeks ago, I was in the emergency room trying to figure out placement for an elderly patient. When I was leaving, I had a chat with my dad in the hallway. Before I left, he gave me a hug and told me not to be late for dinner. I joked about how I'm going to order the most expensive steak on the menu since it's

his turn to pay. I'm a 27-year-old woman, my dad is 51. There was a new nurse at the nurse's station nearby. Pretty much everyone knows that he's my dad. I hadn't spoken with this new nurse much though, and she didn't know. Apparently, she thought my dad and I were having an affair based off what she heard and saw. She knew my dad's married to my mom, who brings him lunch sometimes. She immediately began gossiping to some of the other staff that my dad was having an affair with the social worker, aka me. One older nurse that I've known for a long time immediately came to tell me.

I don't think she liked this new nurse very much. I guess no one decided to tell her that he's my dad. I hate gossippers. I don't know what it is about nurses, but I swear to God, some of them really love to spread rumors. I decided to not take it up with her, and I just went straight to HR. We were both asked to come to HR after our shift was over, along with my dad. Now, the HR lady knows that he's my father.

When the new nurse came in, she was asked to explain, and she said she thinks it's terrible that we would so blatantly have an affair. And she was shocked because she thought that my dad seemed like a nice guy. My dad then decided to speak up and explain that I'm his child. The new nurse was mortified and apologized profusely. The HR lady asked me and my dad to leave. They had a meeting with the unit manager, and it was decided that the new nurse would be fired immediately because she was still in her 90-day probationary period. My mom thinks that I'm a jerk and I should have just brought it up to the nurse instead of bringing it to HR when I knew she would probably get fired.

I think my mom is also sympathetic because she stalked the woman's Facebook and she's like a single mom or whatever. I think I was right to get her fired because the hospital doesn't need a bunch of nurses sitting on their butts gossiping instead of doing their jobs. My dad is embarrassed and feels awkward about the whole thing. It's not the first time someone had thought that I was dating my dad. We aren't weird or anything, but it happens. Am I the butthole?

So she talks to people behind your back, and that's fine, but if you talk to HR behind the lady's back that makes you a butthole, nah, it doesn't work that way. OP, you're perfectly justified. What she did was unprofessional. While I can't blame her for making the mistake, you know, mistakes like that happen, it is definitely wrong to gossip about it with a bunch of strangers. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving that nurse 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for taking away my dad's girlfriend's keys after she tried to send me to bed? I'm a 21 year old woman and I have 4 siblings, a 26 year old brother, a 23 year old brother, a 12 year old sister, and a 10 year old brother. Our uncle has been

our legal guardian since our mom passed away and my dad has been out of our lives. My 23 year old brother and I are home for the summer from college. My oldest brother lives in the city. Since we've come home, my uncle's been away on a work trip, so it's just been me and my siblings around the house. My dad used to be a problem drinker and was basically estranged for half of my life. Very limited contact. And growing up, it's always been my siblings and I taking care of each other.

For the past year or so, my dad has been wanting to reconnect with us, mainly my younger siblings. He's been getting better in his habits. He was clean for three years and managed to keep his act together. Because of this, we've allowed him a couple of visits from time to time. Four months ago, he started seeing this new woman, quite a bit younger than him, in her 30s. And she seems to have this strange obsession with playing mom. She visits way more frequently than he does, and seems to be under the impression that she's our new stepmom. I think it's kind of weird, but we just let her do her thing since she's not harming

anyone. She does have this patronizing way of addressing us. It's better with my older brothers, but with me it gets a little ridiculous sometimes. Again, I just ignore it and go about my own business. A few weeks before my brother and I came home, she was helping my uncle pick up our younger siblings from school and driving them home. Because of that, she was given a key to the house. Since then she's around all the time, just playing parent to my younger siblings, but not really doing much because my older brothers and I take care of the responsibilities. In short, the situation started when we had her and my dad over for dinner. My

brothers cooked a great meal and it was all going good until my dad ended up making a very insensitive and inappropriate joke during dinner, and his girlfriend corroborated that ended up making a very insensitive and inappropriate joke during dinner. And his girlfriend corroborated that joke by making a really ugly insinuation about our late mother. I'm not gonna get into it. We saw them out and that was that. We put the kids to bed and kinda talked about what happened and informed our uncle about the situation. We're all unsure of what to do. The next afternoon, both my brothers were busy with work and I picked up the kids from school. And I got home to my dad's girlfriend in our kitchen. This was the

first time she let herself in when nobody was home and it caught me kind of off-guard. She had basically come to apologize on my dad's behalf. She said that he felt so ashamed he couldn't bear coming here. I sent the kids to their rooms and explained the situation to her. I also communicated to her that I found her comment to be extremely inappropriate and in poor taste. She started laughing it off, but I was clear with her that we wouldn't tolerate anything like that again. Then she said something like, aww, it's so cute that you're trying to be their mom. I kind of just blinked at her. The remainder of that conversation she had the same attitude, just not taking me seriously and

treating me patronizingly. Naturally, I got fed up and got started on dinner. I don't know where she went for the next while. I think she went into the kids' rooms to help them with their homework, but she stuck around for the rest of the night. Out of the kindness of my heart, I cooked extra food for her even though she didn't ask for permission to stay, and lo and behold, she stayed for dinner. Later on, in the same night, she was fawning over the kids again, and around 10, in her stepmom manner, she was like, okay my dears, it's time for bed. My younger siblings were in the living room watching TV.

They're usually pretty disciplined at going to bed themselves. At this, my siblings looked over to me, gave me the look like, what is this lady doing? And I just shrugged and they went off to their rooms because it was close to their usual bedtimes anyway. So I'm in the kitchen cleaning up. My dad's girlfriend is on her phone at the island. She looks up to me and says,

You too, hun? It crosses my mind that she could have been joking, but I devise after a moment that this was not a joke and that she was, in fact, sending me to bed. So naturally I say, what? She says, it's getting late, time for bed, and kind of at me. To remind you guys, I'm 21 years old. I go to college and I'm working almost full time in the summer. I've been taking care of my family since I was 12. This woman's been dating my

estranged father for barely half a year. So I give her the benefit of the doubt, that she clearly has some mental issues and is a little crazy. I tell her I think it's time that she went home. She's insistent that I go to bed and is still acting like my mom. This gets me a little ticked off. I explained to her that I feel disrespected being talked to like that and that I'm an adult. And as an extension to our previous conversation, I need her to like that and that I'm an adult. And as an extension to our previous conversation, I need her to take me seriously because I don't joke around about my family or my siblings and she's on thin ice. She continues to laugh me off and goes on in a super

patronizing tone. Again, she uses the phrase, it's so cute when teenagers try to act like adults. Then she threw in some stuff about me having a hissy fit and being rebellious. At this point I'm just so fed up by everything and simply say, you have five minutes to get your things and leave the house. In response she scoffs and gets up and walks off to the bathroom and on the way I hear her say something along the lines of, no wonder your father says you're a frigid little priss. When she's in the bathroom, I go over to her handbag and her keys on the couch.

She has a gigantic key ring and a ton of keys, so knowing she won't notice, I remove our house key from the ring. Then I go back to my room and hear her leave maybe 20 minutes later. The next day I get a bunch of texts from her panicking about the key. I told her I took it. She said some stuff, called me a brat, saying that she was going to tell my uncle and brothers and that I was being childish. I told her I was at work, and if she wanted to talk, she could call me at four.

Otherwise, she could go bother my brothers about it, but they were at work too, so good luck with that. She went off again with the stop pretending to be an adult thing and said that my younger siblings were like her kids and she needed to take care of them and that this was unsafe. This was the last text that I sent her. This is the last time I'll say this. You've been disrespectful of me and my brother since we met, and you've dismissed my attempts to communicate with you. I'm no longer investing energy into enduring your

behavior. I'm going to be honest, there's very little chance that you're going to get that key back. This is not helping those chances. Like I said, at 4pm you can call." She yapped some more, then blew up my brother's phone and texted my uncle as well. I'm writing this as this is occurring. I told my brothers a bit about what happened when she came over, but they don't know the full story. My uncle is also in the dark about this, but I'll tell them what happened if I need to. OP, you're 21? A legal adult? I don't know why she seemed to think that you're an incompetent teenager. This seems to be not really about love or safety or togetherness, it's just about control. She gets off controlling you.

OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving her a 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for shutting someone down when they tried to talk to me at the gym? So for context, I'm a 32 year old woman, and I don't talk to anyone at my gym outside of saying hi and bye to the people who work there. And having polite etiquette when asking someone if they're using something and saying thank you when they're done. This is partially for efficiency, but mostly because I go to the gym stoned out of my mind

and I'm in my zone and don't want to talk to anyone. Last week after my workout, I walked over to the food carts by my gym to pick up some tacos. While I was there, some 40 year old plus guy stopped me and said that he went to the same gym. I never noticed him before, but he like insisted on walking with me and was talking to me. I was kind of annoyed. Just because you see me on the street with my headphones out doesn't mean it's an invitation to talk to me. I made small talk and tried

to be polite. Get out as quick as I could. So the other day, when I'm at the gym foam rolling out with my headphones in, this guy just beelines to me while I'm trying to avoid eye contact, and squats down next to me and says hi and gives me a fist bump. I give him a quick heads up to acknowledge him, but ignore the fist bump. I avoid eye contact the rest of the time I'm there. And then today, this guy comes into the gym and sees me. I immediately avoid eye contact and he doesn't come up to me, so I think he gets the picture. But then, when I'm doing leg lifts, he comes over and tries to give me a fist bump.

So I take out my headphones and say, look man, I don't want to do this. I'm here to work out. I'm not here to make friends. I don't want to talk to you. Okay? And he starts to say, I was just saying hi. And I respond with, yeah, I get it. Please don't.

And I put my headphones back in and kept working out. Then OP posted an update. I went to the gym today and had one of the best workouts I've had in a long time. Partly because I was fueled by the overwhelming support that I received from people who understood the importance of asserting boundaries. So thank you to everyone who saw where I was coming from. For anyone who thinks that I'm the butthole, I can live with that. But before I go, I want to share something that happened to me a couple of months ago. Maybe it'll give you something to chew on. I was at the same gym in the middle of isolated bicep curls.

I was at the end of the rep, the second to last set to failure. I was slowing the movement, fully concentrated, eyes closed. When I opened my eyes, a stranger's face was three inches from mine. Startled, I set the weight down and looked over to see a plump, middle-aged man in a baseball cap. I took out one of my headphones, still in shock, and all I could say was, what the F? He then grabbed my arms and forced them back onto the machine's handle, saying, one more! I pulled away and snapped. Who the F do you think you are? His face fell as he muttered.

I was just admiring your work. I told him, I'm in the middle of an F-ing set. He got defensive, saying, actually, I wanted to use that. I replied, you can use it when I'm not in the middle of a set. He rolled his eyes and walked off. I was left shaking. As I started to put my headphones back in, another man approached and waved. I took it back out and he said,

You really shouldn't have to put up with that. I smiled and said thanks. He walked away and I got back to my set. So at first in this story, I thought that the guy who was trying to talk to OP wasn't that bad. You know, approaching someone outside of the gym at a taco truck and just saying like, hey, hi, we go to the same gym, what's up? I don't think that's really a big deal and OP seemed to make it seem like it was a big deal. However, he should have picked up the clue, right? OP was being very obvious. She was not being flirty and friendly. This was a don't talk to me message that the guy was not picking up. So if the guy doesn't

figure out what you're trying to say, then you have to be more direct, right? So I'm giving OP zero out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling my friend that she's in the same league as men she calls ugly? My friend, a 19 year old woman, downloaded dating apps like Tinder and Hinge for the first time about a week ago. For reference, she's the type of girl who says she always wants a boyfriend, wants to

do couple things, feels lonely when she's single, etc. She's also, in my opinion at least, very normal and average looks-wise. Not ugly, not super hot, just alright. Since then she's been complaining to me that almost all the men on there are ugly, short, etc. and that she doesn't match with anybody hot. I asked to see which people she was calling ugly, and so she showed me her likes, and it mostly showed people perfectly in her league, as in moderately attractive guys. I told her that these guys were all in her league, and that she should give some of them

a chance since she always complains about wanting to be in a relationship. She denied that she's in the same league as them, and said that she's much more attractive than them. I pointed out that, in her own words, she doesn't match with any of the guys that she does find attractive, so she's not in their league. She said that I'm a butthole. Am I? I guess I'm giving everyone a butthole score here.

Your friend gets a butthole score because she's being judgy, and you get a butthole score because you're being judgy, and you get a Butthole score because you're being judgy. So you both get 1 out of 5 Buttholes. That was r slash am I the Butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.