rSlash - r/AITA I Had to Attend a Work Meeting in Labor

Episode Date: August 22, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:08 Meeting in labor 4:43 Not the mom 11:00 Scam alert 13:31 Abuse 15:25 Comments Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When your celebration of life is prepaid in advance, it becomes a gift from you to your family later, because no one should have to plan for a loss while they're experiencing one. Paying in advance protects your loved ones and gives you the peace of mind you deserve. Let us help you plan every detail with professionalism and compassion. We are your local Dignity Memorial provider. Find us at DignityMemorial.ca. Welcome to r slash Am I the Butthole where OP's boss tells her that she has to attend a company meeting while she's literally in labor. Am I the Butthole for reporting my boss after he forced me to attend a meeting despite knowing that I was in labor?

Yo what? I'm a 28 year old woman and I've been working at my company for 5 years and until recently I loved my job. I was 8 months pregnant when this happened about a month ago. Anyways, I started having contractions while I was at work. Since I wasn't due yet, I thought that it was just Braxton Hicks because they weren't that intense. Just a week before that, I had just Braxton Hicks because they weren't that intense. Just a week before that, I had experienced Braxton Hicks and went to the hospital, but

it was a false alarm. This time I was still working when the contractions started in the morning and I again thought that it was Braxton Hicks. I didn't want to cause a scene, so I tried to keep working. Last time I went to the hospital, my boss, John, who's 45, made sarcastic comments about me being overly dramatic and joked about how I should schedule my labor around important meetings. I have social anxiety and tend to take people's comments without pushing back, so I just took it. By noon, the contractions were getting stronger and closer together,

and I knew that it was real labor. I needed to go to the hospital, so I informed John that I was in labor and needed to leave. He rolled his eyes and said, Just stay for the meeting at 1pm. It's crucial and we need you there. I was stunned. I reiterated that I was in active labor and needed to go to the hospital immediately. John snapped back,

It's just a meeting. Sit through it and then you can go. It's not like the baby is going to pop out right now. Feeling pressured and scared for my job, I reluctantly stayed. The meeting lasted an excruciating two hours. By the end of it, I was in so much pain that I could barely walk. I finally left and drove myself to the hospital where I was admitted immediately. My husband arrived 30 minutes later because he was on the other side of the town for a meeting.

My daughter was born later that evening, thankfully healthy despite the delay. When I told my husband what had happened, he was furious and insisted we report John to HR. I was hesitant because I didn't want to jeopardize my job, but I agreed that it was the right thing to do. HR was appalled and assured me that they would handle the situation. John has since been suspended pending an investigation. The real kicker? During the investigation, it came out that John had emailed the entire office while I was in labor complaining about my

lack of commitment and making fun of me for overreacting. He even implied while I was in labor, complaining about my lack of commitment and making fun of me for overreacting. He even implied that I was using my pregnancy as an excuse to get out of work. Now my coworkers are pissed at me, saying I overreacted and that I should have just sucked it up for the sake of the company. I've even received messages and emails from a few colleagues saying that I've ruined John's career and that he was just doing his job under pressure? Yo what?

One even said that I should've toughed it out like their wife did during her pregnancy. The stress from this whole ordeal has made it difficult to enjoy my first few days with my newborn. I'm constantly second-guessing myself and feeling guilty, despite knowing I did what was best for my baby and me. To make matters worse, the interim manager who took over from John is even worse. He's made it clear to everyone that he resents my actions and has made my return to work unbearable.

Now that my maternity leave is over, I find myself isolated at work. People give me side-eyes and whisper about me. During lunch, I'm alone because no one wants to sit with the troublemaker. It feels like high school all over again. I dread going into work each day and facing the hostility and judgment. I never imagined that doing what was right for my health and my baby's well-being would turn my colleagues against me like this. It's gut-wrenching to feel so isolated and vilified for simply standing up for myself and my rights. Am I the butthole for reporting my boss after he forced me to attend

a meeting despite knowing I was in labor? Alright, my job before being a YouTuber was a very corporate America, wear a suit, sit on computers and cubicles and go to meetings type of job. Very, very boring and dry. And I have difficulty imagining how difficult it would be to focus on a meeting while a pregnant lady next to you is grimacing in pain, grunting, sweating, her face is twisted in agony and like flush and I'm supposed to focus on I don't know quarterly sales numbers or whatever. OP, don't just report this to HR. You need to get a lawyer and sue that company.

I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving John three out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for divorcing my husband and leaving him with the kids after finding out that I'm not biologically the mom? What? How could you not be the mom? Huh? I can't believe my life has come to this. All I

ever do is go out of my way to help others, but on the few occasions that I need help, nobody ever comes through for me. I'm a 36 year old woman and I've been with my husband, who's 35, for almost 10 years, married for 7. We had what I thought was my child by surrogate, ahhhh, over 2 years ago because after 4 years of trying to conceive with no success despite medical interventions, it turns out that I am unable to carry a child to term. I've always wanted to be a mom. Devastated is an understatement regarding how I felt when I found out that I have a

medical condition that would make it nearly impossible to carry a baby to term. It was even more upsetting when I had to get a major surgery to remove uterine growths with the hope to increase fertility and complications during surgery warranted a partial hysterectomy, causing me to lose part of my uterus. I still had my ovaries, so we started looking into the cost of a surrogate. It is really expensive. My close friend since college, who already had two kids of her own, offered to serve as a surrogate for us to cut down on costs. After two disappointing in-vitro fertilization sessions that did not result in pregnancy, she became pregnant on the third try and carried a boy to term for us.

I was so happy and busy after the birth between being a mom and returning to work after a four week paternal leave, so I didn't notice any warning signs. I should have noticed the red flags and warning signs early. However, I was so exhausted from working so much at my stressful job and two part-time jobs to cover most of the bills and the anticipated medical and legal costs associated with this friend becoming our surrogate. To be clear, I'm the primary breadwinner. My friend and my husband started talking more, and I would sometimes come home from my weekend job to find her already hanging out at our house when my husband was there.

I chalked it up as innocent, and it's good for her to know my husband better since she was in the process of hopefully carrying our child for us. I was grateful to have someone helping us have a child. I also thought that it was weird that our son has brown eyes when both of us has blue eyes. Then I found out that while it is uncommon, it is possible sometimes due to many genes controlling eye color. Recently it all came to a head when I

took our son to a doctor's appointment and they did a metabolic panel and blood test which showed that he had a blood type that is not biologically possible with me as his mother. He's B positive, I'm A positive and my husband is O positive. Immediately, I started worrying that it was the fertility clinic's fault and that they'd messed up and implanted the wrong embryo. I started lining up lawyer consultations to possibly sue the clinic and looked into having a DNA parentage test done. The test results showed that I am not the mother, but my husband is the father. I was heartbroken and angrier than ever and I talked to lawyers about medical malpractice in the fertility clinic that we'd used. Then my husband confessed that he had slept with my friend, our surrogate, on a few different

occasions during our struggle to get her pregnant with our embryos. This means that what I thought was our son conceived by IVF and carried with a surrogate isn't my son at all. And in fact, he was conceived the old fashioned way, which I can't even do. Livid and absolutely broken at the same time doesn't even begin to describe how I feel. I've been breaking down into crying spells over and over again about this. He claims that he didn't ever think pregnancy could result because he always pulled out.

Also, he always assumed that he was the reason for our struggles to conceive. I felt an immediate triple betrayal. Betrayal from my husband, my friend, and now knowing that my child isn't even really mine. I had such white hot rage and delirium that I immediately left my home and stayed at a hotel for almost a week before asking my parents to let me stay with them for a while. I admit that I left our son with his father. I'm now filing for divorce because he cheated and betrayed me in the worst possible way. I've also cut off my friendship with my friend, the surrogate, and I feel afraid to trust

anyone right now. I've seen a divorce lawyer to look into giving up my legal rights to this child so that I don't have to face such betrayal or owe child support. My ex-husband and ex-friend admit that they were wrong and keep apologizing, but they also called me immature and heartless to just give up on my son like that. My parents also say that I can't just give up on a kid that I went through so many legal and medical hoops to have. I told them that I refuse to stay in a marriage with a cheater, and I'd rather adopt someday with a trustworthy partner.

They told me that I was wrong and that maintaining my parental rights isn't much different than if I adopted outright. They said that it isn't blood that makes a family. They agree that I should divorce my cheating husband, but they keep telling me that I'm making a mistake giving up my parental rights. Some of my other friends agree with what I'm doing. A few admitted that they weren't big enough to swallow their pride and care for an affair baby or to see the daily reminders of my friend's betrayal every time I look at her son. I just want a clean break and a fresh start.

I'm also thinking about relocating to several states away. Am I the butthole to give up my parental rights in the divorce because a kid that I paid a lot of money to have born by surrogacy isn't biologically mine at all but instead the surrogates? Man, it's so frustrating and depressing when you have a story where someone cheats and then an affair baby pops up and everyone says, oh, think of the baby. Man, it's so frustrating and depressing when you have a story where someone cheats and then an affair baby pops up and everyone says, oh, think of the baby. What about the baby? Well, what about OP?

OP's the victim in all this. Doesn't she get consideration? Doesn't she get to live the life that she wants to live too? Seems to me that the baby already has two parents. So I don't see why everyone is so fixated on OP being the parent. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving the two cheaters 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole? This 18 year old girl got pregnant and she and her parents want me, a 19 year old guy to step up and help her raise her baby. To be clear, I am not the dad and I want to go to the Marine Corps. I told her no, but I feel bad though.

Basically, this girl I always had a crush on got knocked up by some random loser. And now that she's pregnant, she wants to date me. Her parents want me to step up and be a man so they don't have to help her take care of the baby for the next like 18 years and have her stay with them. By the way, this girl is not a piece of cake to deal with. But the thing is, I'm not the dad. She said that she wants me to be her boyfriend and for me to get a job and a place for her and me to live and help raise our child.

My dad told me to tell her to go eff herself. He told me not to put my dreams to the side and that I'm so young and just a kid myself and to never ever in my entire life get involved with her. He said that her baby is not my responsibility and he'll be heartbroken if I voluntarily take on this burden. He fully supports me going into the Marine Corps. I told her that I don't want to get involved with her. Her dad told me that I'm not a real man. What?! Update, I've been able to block this girl and her parents on all social media platforms

and their phone numbers as well as from my cell phone. I've also gotten a temporary restraining order against her and her parents. None of them are allowed to contact me by any means. If they do, the sheriff will have his deputies go to their house and bring them to the local jail. This top comment from Sad Construction. Not the butthole. She knows you're going into the service, so she's gonna try to get her and the baby

on benefits. You'll be away, but the baby daddy will still be around. It's a tale as old as time. Or at least as old as the Marine Corps. Yeah, Opie, this is basically just a scam that the girl's entire family is trying to play on you just because you're... Sorry, OP, but you're kind of dumb. I hate to say this, but the fact that you've been posting this shows that you're just either a pushover or just a little bit, a little bit dumb, OP. So please, please, please pump the brakes. Don't jump into major life decisions.

Seek your father's advice before you make any big decisions because you need some handholding in life, my friend. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving the girl, I don't know what's fair here, one out of five butthole. It's a pretty lazy scam, but it's still a scam. Am I the butthole for calling it abuse after my husband gave me a warning tap? As I'm writing this, I'm laying in bed with my mom. She's helping me gather my thoughts for some opinions. I'm a 24 year old woman and my husband is 30. We've been together for three years, married for one. About a week ago, my husband and I got into an argument over his phone, which he'd misplaced. I was in a shower when he lost it and when I came out, he was throwing an effing fit

over it. He was like, where did you put it? Have you seen it? Angrily yelling and snapping. I said that I hadn't touched it and I needed to get dressed. My husband was standing in the doorway looking behind the door so I couldn't open it. I said, hello, move please. Apparently my tone was rude because

my husband turned around and shoved me into the room. I was like, Okay, you need to calm down. I can help you look, but I gotta get dressed. He tells me to hurry up. I snap back, I'm not gonna hurry up. It's not my f***ing fault. My husband turned around and hit me on my mouth with the back of his hand. It didn't even really hurt, but I was appalled. He called it a warning tap because of my attitude. I left right then and there. I called my mom and went over to her place and I haven't left since.

My brother took me over the next day to get a few of my things. My husband asked if this was all really necessary and I said, yeah, it is when you abuse your wife. He was so stricken that I called it abuse. He screamed at me for it. He said I can ruin his career if I use that word. I know that I can and I know that he didn't even hurt me, but that's how I feel. He sent me several texts threatening to divorce me if I use that word again or to try to hurt his career by saying it to someone important. Am I the butthole for calling this abuse, which could potentially ruin his career?

Alright, I love this top comment from Ali Andros. When my boyfriend couldn't find his phone, he asked me to call him. You know, like a normal person. Also, Ready To Rumble says exactly what I was thinking. Because he's cheating on her and he thinks that she could potentially know something, so he's panicking. Yeah, that was my first guess. Well, actually, technically, my first guess was that the love tap was the push.

I was not expecting the backhand. That one kind of came out of left field for me. OP, abuse doesn't have to be physically painful for it to be abuse. I'm giving your husband 3 out of 5 buttholes. Please get out of this relationship before it escalates to 4 out of 5 or 5 out of 5 behavior. That was r slash am I the butthole and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.