rSlash - r/AITA I Have the World's Worst Tradwife

Episode Date: September 13, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:05 Trad wife 5:54 Divorce 8:08 Chromebook 10:58 Blame 14:31 Parenting Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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was that the group chat ah sent a text to the group that definitely wasn't for everyone you're good enjoy some goldfish cheddar crackers goldfish have short memories be like goldfish

welcome to our slash am I the butthole where Opie has the world's worst trad wife am I the butthole for saying if my My wife wants to be a trad wife, then she must always look her best, wait on me, and provide passionate hugging without question when asked. I am 35 and my wife is 40. We've been together 15 years.

The last couple of years, she really fell down the trad wife black hole, and it's driving me crazy. At first, it started off with her saying that she doesn't want to work anymore, and lately it's escalated to saying that men who make their wives work are abusive. We both have well-paid jobs. I'm a self-employed builder with a team and earn 100,000 pounds a year. She works in management for the NHS and earns around 50,000 pounds a year. We both work really hard and have no kids,

and three years ago managed to pay off our mortgage and live in a nice enough area where I would have happily stayed forever. She, however, suddenly wanted a massive house that we didn't need. I should have saw what was coming. She was looking at houses priced at 700,000 pounds, which would require a mortgage of 500,000 pounds after we sold our house. I gave in and we bought a house. She then wanted a new car, which, again, I caved to,

and she got a car that is worth more than she earns in a year. She then decided that she didn't want to work anymore. She said her job sucked, and I said, take a lower paid one that you'll enjoy more, and she said, no. She just doesn't want to work full stop. She also doesn't want to give up anything she has. Over the past couple of years, it's been obvious that she's trying to lose her job without leaving, despite me saying that I can't afford the house and car and holidays on my own. She started bringing this trad wife garbage up, but said that she wanted to hire a cleaner as the house is too big for her to clean alone.

And she prefers my cooking to hers, so I'll still do all the cooking. So I said, you basically want to dress up pretty and bake the odd cake. She stormed off and said that I don't get it. She again brought it up yesterday, and I said, fine, she can do it, but she's got to get up before me and make sure breakfast is ready, like in the video she watches. She's got to be dressed as a sexy version of a 50s housewife, like in the video she watches, from the moment I open my eyes to the moment I close them. The house must be spotless at all times, like in the video she watches.

I want huge packed lunches for work, like in the video she watches. I want to come home and have beautiful pies and cake ready for pudding, like in the video she watches. I want a bath run for me when I get in, and then come down to a proper meal every night, like in the video she watches. I then want a foot rub while I eat the cakes and pies that she makes, like in the video she watches. I also want passionate hugging on demand, how I want it, when I want it, like in the video she watches. She called me abusive, a user, sexist, etc.

and stormed out to her equally delusional sister's house. Don't get me started on her. I'll be honest, I'm ready for divorce if this carries on. Am I the butthole? Then Opie posted an update. We spoke Saturday morning, and I told her that I can't go on like this. I said to her bluntly that the tradwife thing is never happening, and she either accepts it and we go to couples counseling or we split up.

I'm done dancing around her BS. She chose to split up. I asked her if she even really wanted to be a trad wife, or if she's just trying to force me away, like how she was trying to force her job to sack her because she doesn't have the balls to quit herself. She said, yes, she does, and there's plenty of dating sites that cater to this dynamic. I told her that I'd seen them, and they're more sugar-dady dynamics, and without being horrible, she's too old for that. This set her off.

She said I'm wrong, and that I'm the one who can't support my wife. wife, so I'm the bad one in the marriage, and a real man would be able to give her the life she wants. She was shouting and screaming this at the top of her lungs. It's about the only time I've been glad to be in our new house, so the neighbors didn't hear. I got a bit petty at the real man comment and said, you can't cook, you can't clean, and you don't have intercourse. What part of being a trad wife do you offer? I then stole a comment from my last post and said, she didn't doesn't want to be a trad wife, she wants to be a trophy wife. She just said that I'm unbelievable, and she's gone to her sisters again. I'm going to take the next couple of weeks

and start talking to a divorce lawyer to see what that entails. Then, once this ball is rolling, I'm effing off to Portugal for a couple of weeks to myself. Then two months later, O.P. posted another update. Most of it, it's pretty dull because O.P. is just explaining how they're dividing the assets, which is not super exciting. Here's the juicy. Here's the juicy. part. On to my wife. She's still living at her sisters, and as far as I'm aware, hasn't found anyone who wants a 40-year-old trad wife who doesn't cook, clean, or have intercourse. She's asked me back twice, but I've said no. One was a drunken proposition, and the other one more heartfelt. It's too late now, though. We've already started divorce proceedings, and that should be done early next year.

All I've been doing is working and plotting along. Nothing else I really. can do. Yeah, I'm not too into the whole Trad Wife culture, but I'm guessing divorcees aren't super popular in that culture, especially ones who don't cook or glean, so she's got a real uphill battle ahead of her. O.P., I'm giving

you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your ex, 2.5 out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole because my husband wants a divorce until he lost a job? But am I the butthole to follow through with the filing? My husband is 34, and I'm a 38-year-old woman.

and we've been married for six years, together for nine. We've had our ups and downs, but the biggest down is how he speaks to me. We just had our son one year ago. When I was 10 months postpartum, he told me that I was fat and lazy, and all I do is take care of the baby and work. I still had baby weight on navigating new routines, work, and caring for our baby, and four other children while working 40 hours a week. On my birthday, he demanded I not leave the house or he's,

would divorce me. It just so happened that my daughter had an appointment at UCLA for her teeth the morning of my birthday, so I took her. Needless to say, he didn't even say hello to me and slept in his game room. He's been sleeping there since. It's been two months. He told everyone that he was divorcing me, spoke to an attorney and everything before even telling me that he wanted a divorce. He told me that I was not the prize. I'm almost 40 and have four kids, three of whom are minors. He said he's the prize. He's in his prime and makes good money. And any woman would love to be in my shoes and take care of his kids. He even went as far as inviting his baby mama into the house to visit while I was out. Fast forward. He lost his job and is telling me to wait to move. He then starts

talking nicer to me and acting different than before. I told him I was still moving out and going forward was separating because his actions did not align with someone who wanted to be with me. It feels more like I'm his only option at the moment. Now, he's going around saying I'm a gold digger and leaves as soon as he loses his job. He's saying that he wanted to try to make it work, but I'm the one choosing to leave to all of his friends and family. So, am I the butthole for following through with what he initiated even after he lost his job? Not the butthole, O.P., if I were in your shoes, I'd dump them too.

It sounds like this guy is listening to those alpha male podcasts. Some alpha male he is can't hold a job or satisfy his wife. Am I the butthole for calling the police on my guardian and her partner after their refusal to return my school Chromebook? I'm a 15-year-old woman, and I live with my dad now. But I used to live with the legal guardian, Sam, who's 26, who's not a parent, who's about to officially lose guardianship. I moved out a while ago, and all my things were returned in trash bag. except for my school-issued Chromebook, which I really need for school. The first day is tomorrow.

Back when I lived with her, Sam sent me a file on it, an editor's copy of her book. And now, she and her partner are refusing to return the Chromebook unless it's deleted. Five days ago, I showed up, and it was dead. Sam told me she'd charge it and delete the stuff so I'd have it before tomorrow. But today, I never got any update or the Chromebook, so I asked for it back when we moved my little sister's stuff from there. Sam's partner, who's 23, in a very hostile tone, told me that I wouldn't have it for the first day of school, and that this was a boundary they were setting.

I didn't feel comfortable or safe and didn't want to argue, so I called the non-emergency police line to help resolve it calmly and legally after another warning that I needed it by tomorrow that was ignored. Keep in mind, Sam wasn't there for whatever reason. After I'd called the police, she tried to call me and pressure me into giving her partner the password an ID. I said that I would delete it in front of them, wait for the police, or for her to get home, but that partner couldn't have unprecedented control over my Chromebook. The officer was calm and kind, and I left with the Chromebook without issue after Sam deleted the document in front of me and the officer. I didn't even care about the book, or give them any reason to think I did. During the

ordeal, they tried saying that I was wrong for not calling Sam directly. Now, they're making vague posts online about karma and consequences, trying to make me look like the bad guy for handling it the way that I did. I just didn't want her hostile partner to have control over a device that isn't theirs. So am I the butthole for getting the police involved to make sure I got my school Chromebook back? So first of all, they're thieves. Second of all, it was incredibly dumb of them to even put such a sensitive document as a copywritten book onto a 15-year-old girl's laptop. No offense, O.P. Why was it even there in the first place? And then holding the Chromebook hostage is stupid, because the whole point of a Chromebook

is that everything is stored in the cloud, right? I mean, I don't have a Chromebook, but it's not actually on the computer. It's stored in like Google Documents or something. So they're wrong on multiple levels and dumb on multiple levels. O.P., you get zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving Sam and her partner 1.5 out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for refusing to accept blame for my stepsister's accidents? My parents are divorced and they have me, a 16-year-old guy, as their only kid. My dad's still single, but my mom married again. Her husband has a 10-year-old daughter, so my step-sister.

I split time equally between my parents. I'm at my mom's house for a week, then I go home to dad the other week and I switch back over. My relationship with dad is better. Mom's always been a little too demanding. One thing that has pissed people off is she texts me during school and expects me to answer. She asked me to do stuff for her, and I could be in the middle of class. My dad, and most of my teachers encouraged me to let her know that my phone was going on silent until I was finished for the day, and I started doing that.

My mom even called my school before to say they needed to get me to text her back or call her. And I wish I was joking, but I'm not. Stuff she'll ask is for me to pick up milk at the store on my way home. or to pick up takeout that she ordered, and since she got married again, it might be to walk my step sister home from school or take her somewhere. I don't drive, so I have to walk. She even made me stand outside my stepsister's basketball practice for an hour once because she insisted I had to go and pick her up before going to her house. Back in April, I had after-school stuff, and I kept my phone on silent and didn't check because I didn't want to deal with mom saying

she needed me to pick up something or whatever. When I was finished, I saw my mom had texted, and she said I needed to pick my step sister up from some Girl Scout slash camping thing. Then there was a call that I missed and a voice note where Mom was screaming at me because they got a call that my stepsister had been knocked down by a bike and was at the hospital. I get to Mom's house and nobody's there, so I just do my homework and wait. Mom gets home a few hours later and tells me my stepsister walked on her own because nobody came to pick her up, and she wasn't being careful and got run over, and that she was too

young to walk alone. I told Mom it wasn't my fault, and that made Mom blow a fuse because she thought that I should feel more bad or whatever. We argued over how she knows I have after-school stuff, and she said family should take priority over any stuff. She chewed dad out for sighting with the school on the phone thing, and he chewed her out for blaming me. Now, every time that I'm at her house, we fight, and she told me that I should be ashamed for my lack of feeling bad. Her husband is 100% on her side, but he's a butthole anyway, so that doesn't surprise me. My step-sister broke one of her legs, and she has damaged under her other knee, and it's likely a long-term slash forever thing. But I don't feel like it's my fault when I never agree to pick her up. They just

didn't plan better. My mom keeps saying it's disgusting that I keep defending myself over this. Butthole? All right, let's do a hypothetical. Let's suppose the mom is supposed to pick up the daughter, but she can't. So she calls her husband, aka the father of the girl, whom we would all agree has a responsibility to pick up the daughter. But if he doesn't pick up or answer the phone, it's stupid, irresponsible to just assume that he got the call. So even in that case, the mom is obviously wrong here. But then you add in the fact that this is O.P., a 16-year-old boy who is not responsible for his step sister and it gets so much worse. O.P., your mom is just trying to turn you into the scapegoat here. You get zero out of five buttholes. Your mom and stepdad get 2.5

out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling my wife that if I waited for her to make memories with our son, we wouldn't have any? Last weekend, I, a 39-year-old guy, helped my 14-year-old son die his hair purple. It was such a fun day and I could tell how happy it made my boy. I didn't tell my wife before we did this, and that was the catalyst to the fight that we're currently having. But for me, it's so much more than this one incident. My wife has been hands off with our child for a while now. His soccer games, little road trips to nearby amusement parks, back to school shopping, she's too busy with work or too tired from work. So I've mostly just stopped having the conversations. Why would I waste my breath to have the same conversation on repeat?

The night that we dyed his hair, she started crying while we were talking, saying that we were making all these memories without her. I asked her what she expected me to do. If we waited for her to make memories, we'd be sitting in a dark room 100% of the time. My son isn't even really comfortable with her anymore. There is no, I can't take you. Go ask your mom. Now it's, I'm sorry I can't take you. Let me see if a friend is free that day. My wife isn't speaking to me now, and I'm one. wondering if I took it too far. I don't know. I was hoping some brutal honesty would change something. I would have loved having more kids, but I guess it's for the best now that she said no. Oh, boo-hoo, the absent mom doesn't like to hear that she's an absent mom. Okay, whatever. So?

If you want to make memories, just go do it. No kid is going to stop you. I mean, maybe once they get to like 16 or 17, uh, mom, I don't want to hang out with you. But between the ages of like zero to 12 kids can't get enough of their parents. So, sounds like she missed her chance. Well, O.P., you get zero out of five buttholes. You sound like a good dad. That was R.S. Am I the Butthole? And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.