rSlash - r/Aita I Jorked Off a Horse

Episode Date: September 18, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:08 Horse part cleaning 3:44 DD 7:24 Blow up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Go to kraken.com and see what crypto can be. Not investment advice. Crypto trading involves risk of loss. See kraken.com slash legal slash ca dash pru dash disclaimer for info on Kraken's undertaking to register in Canada. Welcome to r slash. Am I the butthole where oh, excuse me, where OP strokes a horse's dong. Am I the butthole for cleaning my horse's dong in front of my friend. This is a weird one. So I, a 23 year old woman, have a male horse.

He's my pride and joy. To understand this, you need to know some basic horse anatomy. Male horses have what's called a sheath. It's a double fold of skin that helps protect their member. Sometimes there's a buildup of dirt or skin cells that need to be cleaned. So... I'm sorry. So to do this, you need to get your horse to drop their thing. A common way to do this is to massage the outside of the sheath. Moving on to where I might be the butthole, I had my 23 year old male friend come down with me to the stables.

I was grooming my horse and noticed some buildup on his sheath so I got him to drop it. My friend was watching this and was horrified. I tried explaining it to him, but he told me that I shouldn't be jerking off my horse in front of him and that it made him feel super uncomfortable. He's now completely ignoring me and I'm starting to question if what I did was wrong. Am I the butthole? Edit! I just want to clear a few things up. First of all, I did not jerk off his thing. I massaged his sheath, which is a very different thing. I suggest looking up videos of sheath cleaning if you want to learn more as I'm unsure how

to explain it properly. No thanks, OP! Horses build up dirt which is rubbed off when mating with hares. My horse is a gelding and has no way of doing it himself. Look, OP, I don't know the first thing about horse maintenance, horse carrying, being a horse owner, but if this is necessary, then okay, you know, I'm not gonna knock you for doing necessary horse maintenance. But if you're gonna... But if you're gonna do something like that in front of someone else, at least

give them a heads up, alright? Because I didn't know all this stuff that you're explaining and the fact that you had to explain it on Reddit kind of implies that the average person doesn't know about horse hygiene in that specific region. So it stands to reason that your friend also didn't know. So it stands to reason that he would assume, yo, is my friend molesting this horse in front of me? Did she bring me down to the barn for a threesome? To that I say, nay. I do not consent. You know, here's another fact for you people out there who may not have grown up on a farm.

I mean, I didn't grow up on a farm either but I do know this because I grew up in a farm town. Do you guys know how you check on a baby calf that is not yet born inside of a female cow? Man, I'm not making this up. You stick your entire hand and arm, I'm talking all the way up to your shoulder, into the cow's butthole and that allows you to feel around and like feel the calf through the butthole And so yeah, that's like a really important step in checking on the the health of a unborn calf, but yo Don't be like hey you want to see a cool trick? No, man, you gotta give you gotta give a heads up. Oh be

What's fair here you guys I think I'm to give you 2 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your friend 0 out of 5 buttholes. If someone did that in front of me, I would have been equally horrified because I didn't know these facts until you explained them. Am I the butthole for refusing to be the designated driver for the new girl of the friend group? I'm a 33 year old guy, and I met my friend group which consists of Laura who's 32, Anthony who's 31, and Julie who's 28 when I moved to Paris for my work around 8 years ago.

When we go out, here's the deal. I am the only one with a driver's license, so I am the designated driver. I drive and pay for the gas, parking, etc. Everything related to the car in exchange for one coke per passenger. During the night, if needed, I'll go with you to retrieve something from my car. A coat, cigarettes, makeup, cash, etc. When it's time to leave, I'll drive everyone to their place and walk them to their door while the others wait in the car.

The problem started a few weeks ago. We were already at the bar. Anthony's new girlfriend, Marie, who's 29, went to take a second or third round, and I asked her to get me a round, and I asked her to get me a Coke, and she asked me for my credit card. Before I could say anything, Anthony just said, Come on babe, I explained to you how this works, don't make a scene. She just replied, Ugh!

Walked to the bar and came back with just her drink. I just looked at Anthony, rolled my eyes, ordered myself a coke and moved on. Later that night, Laura came to ask for my car keys and for me to not come. She said that all the girls were going to the car together. Reading between the lines, I understood that she was going to get a tampon or a pad from the first aid kit that I always have in my car. A few minutes later, Marie came back charging at me and started to scream that I'm a pervert. Why an F slur would have feminine hygiene products in their car.

That she was right not to pay me a coke since I'm a creep, a freeloader and other stuff still in the same tone. She created such a scene that we were all kicked out of the bar. While walking back to my car, Marie kept her act up, screaming insults and other names to me while fake crying. So I snapped and told her, listen to me B-Word, enjoy your ride home cause it'll be your first and last one. I won't leave you here and I'll make sure you get home safely out of respect for your boyfriend, but after that you can find your own way to and from the bar.

After that, we all got to the car and the ride home was very quiet. Fast forward to this weekend. In the group chat, we were planning a night out, the first one since the incident. And Marie, who joined the group chat, asked for my address and gave me hers so that I could drive her home. I just reminded her of what happened a few weeks ago. That I was serious. That I wouldn't drive her home and that I don't want her at my place at the moment. She called me petty and a butthole before leaving the group chat. And now the friend group is divided. So tell me Reddit, am I the butthole?

There's that saying, don't bite the hand that feeds, or in this case, don't bite the hand that's on the steering wheel because how can you criticize someone and then expect them to give you a free ride? Also, I don't know too much about French culture to be honest, so I don't know if there's some taboo about tampons, but yo, what was with this overreaction about a tampon? A guy who has pads in his car is an F-sler and a pervert? Huh? What? If you're French, please let me know what's going on in the comments. I'm gonna guess this woman is just crazy and drunk and she was looking for excuses to take it out on OP. But who knows,

maybe the French have some weird taboo that I don't know about. OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 butt holes. If anything, you were nicer than you should have been because if I were in your shoes, I definitely wouldn't have driven her home after that. I'm giving her 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for blowing up at my pregnant wife and putting my foot down after her blow up? Me and my wife are renting a two-bedroom house from an older man, Gary. I don't know how to really describe Gary, but older retired military guy is the closest. This man has been nothing but kind to us, far more than either of our parents have ever been.

We live in California and the average rent in our area is around $2,600 for a two-bedroom. At first, we were a bit skeptical about this, but Gary wanted to meet the tenant personally before anything else. The house was listed at $2,500, but it also said that it was negotiable. We met with Gary and I don't know if he liked us or felt sorry for us, because we told him our story and he offered us the place for $1600. Also over the past 6 years that we've lived there, any problems that me or my wife have ever had with the house were fixed within 48 hours.

Gary is the landlord everyone wishes they had. He isn't money hungry and if rent is a bit late, he understands as long as you keep him informed. We haven't had an issue with Gary in six years I asked him why he's renting the house to us so cheap and his story broke my heart He bought the house for his daughter a couple of years before he moved in but Unfortunately, she and her fiance died in a car crash and he couldn't find the heart to sell it But also doesn't just want it to stay empty.

During covid, when my wife lost her job and I had to take a pay cut, I called him and told him about the situation. I asked if it was possible for us to perhaps pay a couple hundred dollars less in rent and then I'd pay everything back once covid stopped. Gary came over and talked to me and my wife. After two hours of talking, he said that he would forgive half of our rent until the whole covid thing was done and then we could just go back to our original contract. I can't describe how happy I was. I thanked

him with tears in my eyes. With the $700 saved on rent, we were able to keep our head above water during that crisis. Now, my wife is currently 5 months pregnant. Gary has had some health scares, so we haven't seen him for the last 6 months. He came over the day before yesterday to tell us that he's healthy again, and he would once again take over fixing anything in the house if needed, so give him a call. He saw my wife, and obviously her belly, and asked her how far along she was. We told him and he just had this smile from ear to ear and said congratulations before walking off and said kids are expensive. So as a baby gift from me, let's make the rent an even $1000 until the baby is born.

I have no idea why, but for some reason this set my wife off completely. She started yelling at Gary, calling him an old man who was looking down on us, and that he can take his useless gift and shove it up his butt. What? She was yelling for like 3 minutes and every time I tried to stop her, she would just get louder and louder. I don't know what got into my wife, but at the end of her rant she said, if you really want a gift as something for our baby, you shouldn't let us pay rent at all, you stupid effing old man. That is what you call a gift. Gary took everything she said and didn't say a word back. His face just went from happy to completely emotionless. After my wife was done, he just left. I blew

up on my wife and asked her what the F she was thinking because Gary never did anything wrong to us. She started to cry and refused to talk to me the rest of the night. Every time I brought it up, she would start crying, but I caught on to the crocodile tears and told her to just stop it because I want an explanation. Yesterday morning before I left for work, I told her she'd better be ready to talk because ready or not when I get home we will talk about what happened and I will not accept her fake tears. I got a text from Gary telling me that we have to talk.

He asked me to meet at the house at 5 and I agreed. We met up at the house and he asked to come in. We sat in the living room and he asked if my wife could join us and she did. He didn't ask why she yelled or what happened. Nothing at all. All he did was lay out what was going to happen moving forward. He said that the baby gift will no longer be happening and he will expect the full rent at the end of the month, no excuses. He said the rent will stay at $1600 until our lease is up for renewal which is ending this year and when the lease is over, we're more than welcome to renew and he'll be

charging us market rate for the house. That is more than a $1000 a month increase. I tried to talk to him, but he refused to listen and then just walked out of the house. My wife was white as a ghost and stammered, what are we going to do? Because she knows that a $1000 a month increase in rent will lead us back to living paycheck to paycheck. My paycheck is just enough to cover literally every single bill until my promotion 14 months from now. I blew up and told her this is your doing. She asked me to run after Gary and try to talk to him, but Gary refused. The only message I got back was, please contact me if it has something

to do with the house. Not for any personal matters as our relationship will only be strictly landlord and tenant. That's it. My wife is frantically trying to call Gary and apologize, but he isn't answering her calls. She knows that her part-time job paycheck might not be enough and I told her that we'll need to downsize, which she is not happy about. I'm not happy with my wife at all and she's calling me a butthole because I'm mad at her. A thousand dollars a month doesn't sound like a lot for some, but to me it's a lot of money. Previously, my wife's paycheck didn't have to go to rent at all, but now it does have to and I told her that she will have to cover the extra one thousand

if she wants to stay in this house as I refuse to take up longer hours or more shifts. She's devastated because her part-time job salary might not be enough and she'll have to go back to full-time work. The situation sounds rough, I know, but like I said above, I'm up for a promotion at work in 14 months when my manager retires. I am assured the job and have it in writing. The increase in salary is enough for my wife to only work part time, but that will only be in 14 months. And she has to cover the missing $1000 for the rent because I'm refusing. I don't want to move, but if she doesn't cover the missing $1k,

we'll have to move. I've asked my wife if Gary had done something to her or said something to her that caused her to react that way and in tears she told me no but she can't or won't give me a reason. So I guess I have to take what she said at face value and say that she thinks Gary was looking down on us when he made us that offer. You know what's sad about this? Is Gary wasn't looking down on us when he made us that offer. You know what's sad about this? Is Gary wasn't looking down on them. He was using OP and his wife as a surrogate for his dead daughter.

He missed his daughter, understandably, so I think a part of him was like, okay, I don't have my girl anymore, but I can just sort of imagine that this pregnant lady is my daughter and so I will show her generosity. That's not pity, that's love. I'm just guessing here, but you know, I think that probably is the case. I think more than likely this guy was excited to be a kind of like adopted grandfather to the kid. You know, maybe not literally like visiting and cooking meals and stuff, but just in his

heart, in his head. I think he was just mourning and the way that he was showing his grief was to give sympathy and kindness to OP. And your wife just ruined it. Oh my God. You guys missed out on literally $1,500. Okay, I got to do math. 1,500 times 12 is $18,000 a year. Guys, imagine having an extra $18k in your bank account every year.

And all you have to do to get that money is to not open your fat mouth and yell at the man who's giving you the money. Oh my God, your wife is stupid. OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. Man, I feel sorry for you here. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. Man, I feel sorry for you here. I'm giving your wife, oh, let's say three out of five. Well, I think more like two out of five buttholes. It's just what she did was more stupid than mean. Really, really stupid. That was r slash am I the butthole. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast

episodes every single day.