rSlash - r/AITA I Stole My Daughter's College Fund

Episode Date: October 29, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:06 Near death 2:43 Ten years 4:19 College fund 7:33 Wife talking 10:48 Bio kid 14:37 Interruptions Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to r slash am i the butthole where OP almost kills her ex-husband. Am I the butthole for not checking in on my ex and he nearly died? I'm a 35 year old woman and I'm recently separated from my fiance who's 35 due to his excessive drinking, but we're still close and regularly see each other. After taking him to the emergency room overnight, I brought him home and he said that he just wanted to chill solo so I left. I attempted to message him but didn't hear back. This is unusual for him. However, I wanted to respect his boundaries.

Late that night, at 10am, my ex's mom woke me up calling to ask me to go over there and check on him. I had a key and she doesn't. I declined to because I had just been woken up and figured that he was just ignoring both of us because he was drinking. And to be frank, I'm sick of the drinking and having to care for him. I'm sick of begging him to do things like get out of a urine soaked bed so I can try to get him clean and dry. I'm sick of the relentless drunk screaming and crying. I'm burnt out."

She ended up calling for a welfare check and when the police came, he was drunk and severely ill. The doctor said that he probably would have died if he hadn't been brought in that night. It was to the point that the hospital refused to release him when he tried to leave, and they got the police and county attorney involved to force him to stay. His mom was pissed at me and refused to tell me so I only found out a couple of days later that he's in the ICU on a ventilator. I feel incredibly guilty that had it been in my hands alone, someone I care about would be dead. So I came here to either relieve my guilt or be deservedly raked over the coals. Yo hold on, let me get this straight.

OP didn't say why her ex was in the emergency room, I assume for excessive drinking. So the very day this guy got out of the emergency room, he drank himself back into the emergency room. Yo, this is like mega plus ultra levels of alcoholism. I'm starting to think that even if OP did care in checking in on him and the mom got involved too, they're still not going to be able to save this guy from drinking himself to death. OP, this is not your responsibility. Hand over the key to his mom and just wash your hands of this situation because this is a toxic responsibility. Hand over the key to his mom and just wash your hands of this situation because this is a toxic mess. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I don't even

know what to give the husband here, the fiance, because he's clearly sick. I guess 3 out of 5 buttholes and I'm giving the mom 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. Getting mad at you is stupid. Am I the butthole for going 10 years without an orgasm? I'm a 40 year old woman and I've been patient. I've been supportive. I've been down every medication road to go down with him, my husband who's 42. I've done every fantasy he's asked of me. I even went down the third person route for him. But I've been with this person for a decade. We have kids together. I've been sympathetic to him when he told me about his erectile dysfunction. Developed after we married and had kids, by the way. But I also said,

that just leaves room for more foreplay. I would have thought that he would have taken the opportunity to at least try in that area, but he hasn't the simplest clue of what that means. Even when I've given him guided directions, oral, hehe, and by hand, it's like it's in one ear and out the other. Also, he doesn't give me any foreplay before or afterwards. It's all about him. His needs and his discoveries of my prior experiences. He likes to hear about other things I've done with people that turn him on, and I'm just fed up. Am I the butthole for walking out on him during fun time tonight because I'm tired of not getting mine?

Please let me know. Oh man, OP, that's rough. I hope at least you're getting the job done by yourself, so to speak. Because ten years without, that's uh... that's unimaginable for me. OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. If anything, you seem like an amazingly patient wife. I'm giving him 2.5 out of 5 buttholes.

It's not that he can't, it's that he just doesn't care. Am I the butthole for taking my daughter's college fund back after she said she was going no contact? I'm a 45 year old woman and a single mom of two kids, Ella who's 18 and Jake who's 16. My husband died when the kids were young and I've worked extremely hard to support them both emotionally and financially. My husband left behind a life insurance policy and I've been saving part of that money for their college education. Since Ella was a little girl, she's always dreamed of

going to a prestigious college. We've had many talks about how important education is and I made sure she knew that the fund I was building for her and Jake was specifically for their education. I wasn't able to afford luxuries like vacations or new cars, but I wanted to make sure they wouldn't be burdened with student loans. Recently though, things have become strange with Ella. She started dating a guy, Matt, who's 19 a few months ago, and I feel like her personality has completely changed since.

She's become distant, rude, and dismissive of anything I say. She said hurtful things like I smother her or treat her like a child. I've tried giving her space, but last week during a particularly bad argument, she said that she was going no contact with me once she went to college and would never look back. I was devastated. After everything I sacrificed, to hear that she would cut me out was heartbreaking. I didn't want to react out of emotion, so I waited a few days to cool off. But eventually I made the decision that if she truly wanted nothing to do with me, then

I wasn't going to fund her education. I told her if she's planning to go no contact with me after college, she should consider her fund off the table. And I'd split the money between Jake and myself for other things. She exploded calling me vindictive, manipulative and selfish. She thinks I'm trying to control her by dangling the money over her head. I've talked to a few friends about this and reactions have been mixed. Some say that I'm within my rights because the money is mine and I can do with it what I see fit.

Others say that I'm punishing her for her feelings and that I'm being controlling by using the money as leverage. So am I the butthole for taking back my daughter's college fund after she said that she was going no contact with me? Down in the comments, there's a lot of speculation. Some people are saying the boyfriend are probably manipulating her, which lot of speculation. Some people are saying the boyfriend are probably manipulating her, which does sound possible. Other people are saying that actually it's probably OP who's the manipulative one and she's leaving out all the abuse to make herself look better. Because if Ella suddenly decided to go no contact, there's probably a reason for that, right? So it's really hard to say what's going on here without more context, but on a very

basic level, I'll just say it is OP's money and OP can spend it however she wants, so if she doesn't want to give the money to her daughter, she's well within her rights to do that. So just taking this at face value, this feels like a no-butthole situation because OP has a right to withhold the money and Ella has a right to cut off contact if that's what she wants to do. However, I have a feeling there's more going on behind the scenes here. Am I the butthole for walking out of my son's kindergarten play because my wife wouldn't

shut up? I'm a 32-year-old man and today my 5-year-old son's kindergarten had a little play. It was a short story involving a bunch of bunnies, giraffes and sheep. My son, Kevin, was one of the giraffes. I was looking forward to it all week, but I was also anxious because my wife Claire, who's 31, tends to get very bad when we're in front of other people. She'll often become aggressive, short tempered and will be incredibly rude towards me. I think she does it performatively because she thinks it makes her look cool.

Anyways, Claire and I arrived early to get front row seats in their small auditorium. First, as we waited, Claire began by putting her bag and other belongings on the two seats next to her. I had to get her to put them under her chair because other people might want to sit there. She accosted me because, of course I know that! I was going to move them when it got crowded. Then she began setting up a camera on a tripod on top of the seat, which would have obstructed the view of anyone else behind us. Luckily, one of the teachers there asked her nicely to take it down. Unfortunately, this put Claire in a foul mood and I knew that she would be taking it out on me eventually. The performance started and our son did a great job, but he had a little giraffe hat on with a cord to go under his chin and he

put the cord in his mouth during the play. Claire would simply not shut up about this. As all the parents took videos, she was constantly saying things like, I told him not to chew on it, and, Kevin, take the cord out of your mouth. I could tell other parents were getting irritated with her because her voice was getting on their video of their children. I lightly suggested in a whisper, Hey, other people are taking videos.

I don't think Kevin can hear you anyways. Claire did not take this well. She began loudly ranting to herself. She would repeat things like, God, I want him to shut the F up and mock my voice, Kevin can't hear you. Over time, she gradually got louder and louder. Finally, when I was pretty sure Kevin's part in the play was done, I stood up and walked out and waited in the car. Claire and Kevin came out 20 minutes later.

She opened the door and immediately began tearing into me about abandoning her and Kevin. When I responded that she was embarrassing me, she began sulking and ranting about how she's such an embarrassment to her family. I don't know what I could have done better. Should I have handled this differently? Yeah! Get a divorce! This woman sounds insufferable! So you're telling me every time you two go out in public, your wife pushed you down and criticizes you? Why would anyone want to be married to that? I say that if she hates you that much, just give her what she's asking for and leave her.

OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your wife 2 out of 5 buttholes. Also, as a father to a 3-year-old, if my daughter did that whole like putting the cord in her mouth thing, I would find that cute. It's like an adorable little like, haha, look, this is so funny, she's a young little kid instead of disrupting a play and cursing at a kindergarteners play, huh? Am I the butthole for not inviting my father because he disowned me after knowing that I wasn't his biological child? Almost a decade ago

My dad found out that my mom cheated on him with another guy years ago through my mother's sister. Back then my mom and aunt weren't on good terms, so she told dad everything. My parents fought over this, and dad filed for divorce. We all got DNA tested, and out of the three kids, I was the only one who wasn't his. It felt so bad to know that your dad who raised you for almost 16 years wasn't really your dad. That didn't feel as bad as him kicking me out of his house when I was begging him not to. I wished I could just kill myself when he disowned me.

My mom went into a depressive state and would just spend all day in bed and would just get up to use the toilet. My grandparents lived in a different state, but they did everything they could to make our lives better. I needed to come home from school, do all the chores in the house, and tend to my mom and check on her. I did everything that possibly could be done to make sure we lived. I would ask my mom who my real dad was, but all I got was screaming or to be hit. My siblings and grandparents from my dad's side tried to make things right between me and my dad, but he wouldn't budge. Apparently, I was just a reminder that my mom cheated on me and nothing else. I remembered my 17th birthday when no one else remembered.

I cried to the point where I didn't have any tears left. Even when I graduated from high school, only my grandmother came. Why didn't my feelings matter to anyone? Why was I supposed to endure this? After I returned from high school, only my grandmother came. Why didn't my feelings matter to anyone? Why was I supposed to endure this? After I returned from my graduation, I told my mom that I was leaving if she doesn't tell me who my real dad is, and this time she did tell me who he was. I met him after finding where he lived, and I discovered that I have a half-brother and that my real father was a widower and a doctor. He didn't know I existed or the fact that my mom was married.

It took us time but we built a bond and he helped me get through college and he even walked me down the aisle. He even got my mom some help and I'm forever grateful to him. Well currently I'm a 26 year old woman and I was married to my lovely fiance last week and I didn't invite my ex-dad to my wedding. He tried to contact me before the wedding, but I don't want anything to do with him. My siblings and grandparents from my ex-dad's side say that I'm wrong and that he wanted to come and make things right.

But I don't want to make things right. He had the right to abandon me, so I have the right to do the same. He's not my father. He was once upon a time, but now I understand that he was hurt, but I was hurt too. Everyone tells me to let go of the grudge, but I just don't want him in my life, and no, I won't give him another chance. My husband understands, but no one else seems to understand what I had to go through to get to where I am now.

He can't just come back to my life 9 and a half effing years later and expect things to be alright. Am I the butthole? OP, you should tell everyone else, hey, give me 9 and a half years to think about it and then I'll let you know if I'm ready to make things right. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I don't really know what to give the dad here because, you know, that's a level of pain and betrayal that's hard for someone to fathom if they haven't gone through it

themselves. So, geez, what's fair for him? I don't know. I really don't know what to give this guy. If he had thrown OP out onto the street, then yeah, he would definitely deserve a butthole score, but instead he just handed OP to the mom because he's not the biological dad, so I don't know, this one's tricky. In any event, OP, you're completely justified. Am I the butthole for barging into an office and telling them to make their kids stop opening our

office door? So I work in an office building with different offices on each floor. Every afternoon, one of the ladies in a different office brings her kid and allows him to run up and down the halls constantly opening and closing our door. Yesterday, I effing had enough. I opened the door just as he slammed it and I yelled at him to stop effing opening and closing our door. I then barged into their office and told them that I didn't know who's effing kid that was, but they had better make him stop opening and closing our effing door. I then filed a complaint with building management.

This morning, apparently, I'm the talk of their office. That's her. That's the lady. Yes, it's effing me and maybe if you weren't such a useless turd of a parent, maybe your kid wouldn't have gotten yelled at. This kid is at least 7 or 8 and should be taught some common courtesy. I work in a law office while they're nothing but effing telemarketers. Yeah, the thing to consider about this post is it's possible that OP's job involves clients and just imagine how unprofessional it would be if you go to a lawyer's office and then

in the middle of, you know, talking about how you were assaulted or something and you want to sue someone, some 7-year-old snot-nosed kid comes in, opens the door and then slams it on you. It's just super unprofessional, so OP is 100% justified here. I'm giving OP 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving The Bad Mom and The Bad Kid 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. That was r slash am I the butthole and if you liked this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day.