rSlash - r/AITA I Told My Child to Get Over Her Dead Mom

Episode Date: July 24, 2023

0:00 Intro 0:08 School over grieving 2:15 In laws 4:52 Making dinner 8:32 Chore list 11:41 Slack dad 13:53 Baby names Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Metrolinx and cross links are reminding everyone to be careful as Eglinton Cross-town LRT train testing is in progress. Please be alert as trains can pass at any time on the tracks. Remember to follow all traffic signals. Be careful along our tracks and only make left turns where it's safe to do so. Be alert, be aware, and stay safe. Welcome to R-Slash, Amai the Butthole, where OP refuses to let his teenage daughter grieve the death of her own mother. Amai the Butthole for prioritizing my daughter's school performance over her emotional well-being after her mother's death? I'm a 39-year-old male, and I'm feeling conflicted about a

recent decision that I made regarding my teenage daughter, who's 16, following the death of her mother. I can't help but wonder if I've made a huge mistake, so I'm turning to you, Reddit, to pass judgment on whether or not I'm the butthole in this situation. Since my wife's passing, life has been tough for the both of us. Dealing with my own grief while trying to provide for her has been a challenge. My daughter has been extremely, extremely distraught, and I can see how much she's struggling emotionally. However, when she asked me for time off of school to process her grief, I prioritized her academic performance instead. I'll admit, I've always been a stickler for education, and my daughter is a bright student

who excels in her studies, particularly math and science, which are very important, and I wouldn't want to jeopardize that. When she approached me, I couldn't help but think how it would impact her grades and future prospects. I was concerned that missing school would lead to a drop in her academic performance and potentially hinder her chances of getting into a good college. Instead of allowing her to take some time off, I suggested that she continue attending school and told her that I believe that maintaining a routine and focusing on our education would provide stability and keep her on track. Apparently, my daughter was devastated by my decision.

She accused me of not caring about her feelings and prioritizing her school performance over her emotional well-being. She believes that I'm being callous and unfeeling, dismissing her need for a time to heal. Yeah, I mean, I agree with her. Pretty much what she said is exactly correct. You are prioritizing her school performance over her emotional well-being. Opie, if you think missing school will affect her grades, imagine how much being depressed and hating her one and only parent is going to affect her grades. My God, Opie! Show the girl some sympathy! Opie, I'm giving you 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. She gets 0 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for stealing my sisters-in-law? I'm a 25 year old man, and I've always thought that I've had a decently close relationship

with my sister, who's 27, until a few years ago when it came out that she thought of me as a golden child. She held resentment towards me for things that I always took as more typical lack treatment of the younger child in the family. I honestly thought the whole thing was pretty silly, especially since we haven't been living with our parents for years at this point. So we went a while without talking.

We saw each other at family events, but didn't really speak. I was invited to her engagement party as a way for her to extend the olive branch. It was there that I met her future husband, younger brother, and we immediately got along. The two of us got to know each other over the year that it took for my sister to get married. I loved this guy's family so much! His parents are warm and inviting in a way that feels so genuine, even before I was introduced as a significant other. I was

the first person he ever brought home to meet them and they made me feel like part of the family immediately. Their youngest brother has been equally as welcoming and regularly schools me an overwatched to by staying alive far longer than I ever could. When I told my sister this, thinking it was something that we could bond over, she was angry again. Apparently she didn't receive the same treatment. This resulted in a big argument which led to her saying something to the effect of, I guess this is what happens when two golden children get together. I pushed back against this and it further devolved with her pointing out that of all the people in the world, she couldn't believe that I had chosen her husband's brother. She said that I

had stolen opportunities from her growing up and now I was stealing her in-laws. I considered telling my partner's parents about this at one point to let them know about the animosity my sister apparently holds towards them, but I decided against it. I don't really know where I stand in this conflict, and at this point, I just like some outside perspective. Am I the butthole? Opie, I don't understand how you can say that you don't see how you're the golden child, and then in the exact same sentence, admit that your parents gave you preferential treatment. Do you not see that how hypocritical and how illogical that is? And then when your sister gets mad at you, your first response is to try to tattle tail to the parents? I think I'm starting to see what the sister is talking about.

I think you probably are a golden child here. It's kinda hard to say from this post because we don't have a lot of context and information, but I'm leaning towards being on the sister side. Opie, I'm giving you two out of five buttholes and I'm giving your sister zero out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for yelling at my brother-in-law after he woke me up and told me to make dinner while we were staying at his house? I'm a 37-year-old woman. My husband Tom is 37 and we have two sons who are 12, and we recently had a house fire and lost our home. But luckily, we were all

outside of the house when this happened. Tom's 40-year-old brother, Sean, and his wife agreed to let us stay at their place with their kids while we sort out insurance. I do not like Sean because he believes in traditional gender roles in a household. We've had issues since he realized that I would keep my maiden name at work, which I informed him was none of his business and my personal choice. Sean works full-time and his wife is a housewife. When we had our sons, Sean thought that I would quit my job as a doctor and become a stay-at-home mom.

However, my husband Tom became a stay-at-home dad instead and then went back to work after our son went to school and doesn't share the same thought processes as Sean. Sean clearly disapproves of this and me and vocalizes thoughts about the situation. I got Tom to speak to Sean and he's left us alone since then. But he still occasionally makes comments at holidays and birthdays, which I ignore.

The comments stop when Tom returned to work. And since then, Tom says that Sean has grown as a person. Tom and Sean are very close and I would never tell my husband to stop talking to his brother. But personally, I interacted as little as possible with Sean. Yesterday was a very hectic day at work. I was exhausted. My shift ended midday and I went straight to bed. Everyone else was out of the house. Sean and Tom were at work, the kids were at school, and Sean's wife

went to see a close friend. Sean got home first and woke me up. I was upset and still tired and when I asked him why, he said that I should get started on dinner because it was getting late and his wife was out and not picking up her phone. Usually, I do the cooking in the house with his wife, but I was upset that Sean had woke me up and I yelled at him to not disturb me. I kicked him out of the room and told him I was going back to sleep and that he could sort out his own dinner. When I woke up that evening, Sean told me that while I was under his house, I had to

respect his house rules. I told him that he could have cooked himself, heated leftovers in the fridge or gotten take away. Tom thinks that Sean did overstep by waking me up and making demands, but I shouldn't have yelled and escalated the situation. Okay, so in an update, OP said that she moved out to a friend's place and the brother-in-law still being stuck up,

but the sister-in-law called OP to apologize on behalf of the brother, but still, Sean is being all pissed off about it. But here's the kicker. The house that Sean is living in, you know the whole. My house, my rules, that house. Well, that house was owned by Sean and Tom's parents, and Sean only owns 50% of the house while Tom owns the other 50%.

But Tom, since he's a good brother, I guess, let Sean live there. So already, even without that detail, I was going to give Sean a butthole score. But with that detail, it gets so much worse. This guy gets half a house for free from his brother, and then decides to thank him by criticizing his hard-working doctor wife, man. Opie, you're the guest in the home, and obviously you do have to follow his rules, but that doesn't mean that you're his maid slash cook slash servant just because you're living in his house. That's not how the host slash guest relationship works, man. OPM giving you zero out of five buttholes.

I'm giving your brother-in-law 2.5 out of five buttholes. You're flying to meet with a new supplier to keep your business growing. And with the business platinum card from American Express, you can earn $820 in new value and more, which includes a $200 travel credit toward your flight. Now boarding business class. American Express, don't do business without it. Terms and conditions apply as at amx.ca slash business platinum. It's hockey season and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats.

Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get a nice rank on Uber Eats. But iced tea, ice cream, or just plain old ice? Yes, we deliver those. Gold tenders, no. But chicken tend tenders yes, because those are groceries, and we deliver those too. Along with your favorite restaurant food, alcohol, and other everyday essentials, order Uber Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See out for details. Am I the butthole for not letting my sister-in-law add my kids to the chore list? My sister-in-law lives in a fairly large six-bit room farmhouse on 10 acres.

We're building a home across the street, and in the meantime, we have a camper parked on sister-in-law's property. The only time that we go into our house is to use the bathroom or shower. We have electricity in the camper, but no running water. The rest of the time, we're across the street building and our kids, a 14 year old boy, a 12 year old girl and a eight year old boy are with us helping. We pair a sister-in-law $180 a week to park our camper there, which is campground prices.

Late afternoon yesterday, my sister-in-law asked us to all come inside to talk and she pulls up her chore list with my kids' names added to it. Things like laundry, dishes, cleaning the living room, sweeping, mopping, cleaning the table and countertops, garbage, returnables, even helping her cook meals. To be clear, we do not eat her food or eat inside her house. She said, does this work for you? I won't let anyone clean the bathroom because I'm

the only one who does it properly. I immediately said no. My kids don't even go into our house unless they're showering or pooping, so if anything, I'd make them clean the bathroom, not the rest of the house that they don't use. I'm not going to make them do chores to that extent for simply using the bathroom, especially after they've been helping us all day building our home. My sister-in-law, who works all the time, says, The kids are in here much more than that because all my snacks are gone and I always come home to a trashed house. And I didn't before you guys started staying here. She's clearly not putting

two and two together with the fact that her own daughter, who's 12, has had consistent friends over for the past two weeks in school that out and her husband, who's 46, does nothing to parent. I brought this to her attention. My kids don't eat her food either. I've made a point to preach to my kids about minimizing our footprint here for this specific reason. My husband is saying that maybe I should just allow her to add the kids to one or two chores a week to keep a sister at bay But I've refused. We pay to be here and we don't go indoors at all unless it's for the bathroom as I've stated. My kids aren't gonna be scrubbing her house top to bottom for using a restroom And I've since told my husband that we need to create an outhouse system on our property

So we don't have to go in there at all. He says that I'm making things more difficult. When, in reality, I'm protecting my kids from being used. Am I the butthole? No, OP, you're not the butthole. If anything, you're the exact opposite by protecting your kids. If she really wants her house to be clean, then why doesn't she take her $180 a week that you're giving her and hire a maid? Also, I don't know if OP just didn't mention it or if this actually was the case, but did the choreist not have her own daughter on there? Like not have her own daughter or her husband or her? Was the choreist just for your kids? Super entitled if that's the case. OP I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your sister-in-law 1.5 out of 5 buttholes.

Am I the butthole for showing a spreadsheet of everything that I pay for and showing their dad doesn't do anything? Okay, I'm getting mixed opinions from this. I have two kids ages 13 and 11. I'm not gonna lie. We live a pretty frugal life. All the extra money I make goes into their college accounts or fun weekends.

Their dad has them once a month, and he's the fun parent. He won't pay me child support, but he is willing to do a surprise trip to an amusement park. It's frustrating, all right? I try not to say anything bad about him, but he's been pushing the narrative that,

without him and the money he gives me, we wouldn't have a home. This is so false, and now the kids are saying, well, dad pays for this and that. My last straw is when the kids told me that it's their dad who pays for our home. So I pulled up my budget spreadsheet that includes all the stuff he pays for. It shows that he's paid no child support for the past two months. The kids were upset for being lied to, and the oldest got into an argument with her father since she called to confirm. Me and my ex have gotten into an argument, and he's calling me a jerk. My friends are split on this, and I'm wondering

if I went too far. Yo, hold up, hold up. So it's okay for this guy to lie about you and saying you're not paying that much, but then you can't say, well, actually, here's evidence that he's not paying too much. Suddenly, that's wrong. So he can do it to you, but you can't do it to him. Okay, okay, I see, I see how this is. I do agree in general that you shouldn't

badmouth your ex to the kids, but if he's badmouthing you, which is a lie, then honestly, he's just opening that door for you to lay out the facts to show the receipts. But let's be honest, the real problem here isn't him lying about you or the hypocrisy, it's him being a deadbeat dad. Pay your child support, dude. Of course it's easy to pay for a surprise trip to an amusement park because you're not paying money on food and clothes and school supplies. OP, you get zero out of five bad guys. You did what you had to do.

I'm giving the baby daddy three out of five bad guys. Am I the butthole for not keeping my thoughts on my sister's ridiculous baby names? Stanford and Yale to myself? I'm the youngest of three siblings. Am I the butthole for not keeping my thoughts on my sister's ridiculous baby names? Stanford and Yale to myself? I'm the youngest of three siblings. There's me, a 34-year-old guy. My sister Kate, who's 35, and my brother Ian, who's 38. Out of the three of us, Katie's the one who's made it, her words.

She attended Yale Law School and is engaged to a neurosurgeon, Daniel, who attended Stanford Medical School. Over the years, it's become clear that Katie looks down on me and Ian because we aren't as ambitious, slash successful, slash credentialed as she is. Katie has expressed her astonishment that the family business is profitable, even though someone who got seasoned high school and never went to college. Me has been running the day-to-day operations for over 10 years. Katie also once told Ian to his face that he wasted his potential. For context, Ian was the valedictorian of his high school class just like Katie, but he dropped out of college to help mom run the family business after dad passed away.

Katie and Daniel recently posted that Katie is pregnant with twin boys, and their names would be Stanford and Yale. I commented, congratulations, but later I texted her to say that it wasn't right to give these boys ridiculous names, and it would put them under immense pressure to succeed from a very young age. I also asked her about what would happen if one or both of them weren't as successful or perfect as she had hoped. Katie did not like the points that I made.

She texted back, I wasn't asking for opinions, especially from someone like you. Consider yourself uninvited from our wedding until you sincerely apologize. To be honest, I was already leaning towards not attending due to Katie's condescending attitude towards me, but that someone like you comment sealed the deal. I told Ian what happened, but he said that I should have kept my thoughts to myself. Okay, from a simple objective, who's the butthole here standing, this is just basic returning the same energy. She insulted you, you insulted her, it's fair, it's balance. Obviously she's more of a butthole because she started it, but you're just returning her energy.

But what makes this post so funny is that your sister Katie is a walking stereotype of someone who attended Harvard Stanford or Yale. Hello, nice to meet you, my name's Harvard. I mean, I mean, Dabney, my name's Dabney, I just went to Harvard. That was a mistake, I'm sorry, didn't mean to say that my name's Harvard. I just went to Harvard, I went there for four years, I got three days of course, because you know, I'm a Harvard graduate, not a big deal. Anyways, my name's Dabney, nice to meet you.

To be clear, I didn't go to Harvard, that's just my impersonation of someone who went to Harvard. OP, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your Snotty, stuck up sister, one out of five buttholes. That was our slash of my the buttholes. I'm giving your Snotty, Stuck Up, Sister 1 out of 5 buttholes. That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.