rSlash - r/AITA I Want My Wife's Boyfriend to Pay Me

Episode Date: February 10, 2023

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Welcome to our slash am I the bad guy where I think O.P. is pimping out his own wife. Am I the bad guy for wanting to be paid for babysitting my own daughter? I'm a 39 year old guy and I live with my wife who's 34 in a suburban house with our daughter Emily who's 10. Our next door neighbor Walter is a 48 year old single father with two daughters a 14 year old girl and a 12 year old girl. We've been living here for a little more than two years. My wife really likes watching scary movies, but I've never enjoyed them. I get too scared and end up having a bad time, so I prefer to avoid them. Her friends sometimes go with her to the more popular ones, but she also likes older, indies, and foreign horror movies.

She's always had a hard time finding people that have this niche interest, and that's why it was such a big deal when we met Walter and found out that he also shares his tendency. They very quickly started to make plans to watch movies together. I was invited to be a part of this, but refused. I prefer to just stay at home babysitting Emily and Walter's daughter while they're out watching movies. Sometimes they go to movie theaters, but other times they just stay at Walter's place watching stuff at his home cinema.

They usually have to go to another town to catch some weird movies, so it's normal for them to come back very late. They eventually started doing stuff outside of watching movies, like going out for dinner. Walter invited all of us, including the kids, to go with him to a restaurant that a friend of him owned, but I said no because it was too expensive. I don't like those kinds of places because I feel like they're a waste of money, and I didn't think the kids would enjoy it either. I insisted on staying with the kids and let the two of them go be themselves. This has become a regular thing, and in a way, it's a good deal for me because Walter

pays for my wife's dinner and she can no longer complain about me not taking her to fancy restaurants. Since their movie and dinner nights have become so common, I've grown a little tired of the burden of constantly babysitting the girls. I talk to my wife and Walter about it, and he explained that he usually doesn't like leaving his daughter with babysitters. He says he's really comfortable knowing that they're being washed by an experienced father like me instead of some teenage girl.

He nevertheless agreed that it was too much of a load for me and offered to start paying me a standard babysitting fee each time that he goes out with my wife. I thought that was a fair approach to the issue, but my wife was fully against it. She says that I shouldn't be paid for babysitting my own daughter nor the daughter of a close friend of our family like Walter. We've been arguing about this,

but she insists on this notion and is not open to change. She even gets mad every time that I talk to her about this. Walter promised me that he'll convince her, but he doesn't seem to have been able to do so either. Am I the bad guy? Okay, this story did not go the way I expected it to.

Let's be clear, OP. Walter is straight updating your wife. I don't necessarily mean that they're having an affair, but I do mean that they're literally going on dates. It's actually dinner and a movies. He's taking her to dinner and then the movies and he's paying for it. That's a date, this is a date.

And while there's nothing inherently wrong or like, I'm not saying this is cheating. And you know, it's not necessarily wrong for a married woman and a single guy to go out for like some event like a movie. It's not inherently cheating, but the problem OP is that you're effectively outsourcing your marriage to Walter. You're saying, I don't really care about my wife's interest or making her happy or spending time

with her, so I'm just gonna let some other guy do it for me. At first, it seemed kind of reasonable because you don't like scary movies, and I'm in your exact same shoes OP because my wife likes scary movies and I hate scary movies. But I'll be d***** if I let some other random guy take my wife out to dinner and into the movies, no way! I would watch 10, 100, 1000 scary movies with my wife and be miserable the whole time, rather than have some guy take my wife out on weekly dates. No way man, not gonna happen. Over here, are you aware that you're basically pushing your wife into another man's arms?

You're not liking scary movies is understandable, but then on top of that, you said that you don't want to go out to fancy restaurants, and it's just, it's clear that you just don't want to spend time with your wife. You don't want to do anything nice with her, be romantic with her, engage her in things that she's interested in. Instead, you just want to sit at home and do nothing with your kid. This is not... Sorry, I was about to say something, but then I read this comment from IDC Pixman, whether or not you should get paid for babysitting this entirely between you and your wife's boyfriend.

Yeah, OP, this has very little to do with like the kids that your baby's sitting and whether you should get paid for the baby's sitting, it has everything to do with the fact that you're just not being a husband and Walter is being a husband. What do you guys think the odds are that Walter is currently railing the wife? I think I'll say... I was gonna say 25% but then I remember the line about Sometimes they have to go see an obscure movie in another town over and they don't get back until really late So now I'm thinking closer to like 50% maybe the reason why

You think the reason why the wife is so against the idea of paying is because it makes her feel like a prostitute. It makes her feel like she's a prostitute and you're the pimp and Walter is paying you to take her out so that he can, he can rail her. It's possible. That could actually be the reason why she's so upset about it. Oh man. Opie, I'm giving you, oh geez, I'm gonna give you 2.5 out of 5 bad guys because you have become completely disengaged with your wife. I'm who knows? I'm giving Walter and your wife either 0 out of 5 bad guys for just having platonic movie nights or 4 out of 5 bad guys for cheating behind your back. Am I the bad guy for telling my sister-in-law that she can leave Christmas dinner when she freaked

out over tampons? I'm a 28 year old woman, and I've been with my boyfriend, Ian, who's 32 for 3 years now. We decided to host a small early Christmas dinner. One of the people invited was Ian's brother, Jake, who's 26. Jake asked if he could bring his girlfriend because she was all alone. They've been together for 3 months. We agree because the more the merrier. His girlfriend, Navia, seemed a bit timid, but lovely.

Navia brought her eight-year-old son, who we didn't know was coming. She seemed lovely right until she went to the bathroom. Then she came out shrieking with a box of my tampons in her hand, literally gasping for air in between her shrieks. I could barely understand her. Turns out, my box of tampons was visible in the bathroom. She was going off about me being disgusting.

How could I be so shameless to have this in front of a child and other men and so on? I looked at her in disbelief. I couldn't believe that she made a scene about a box of tampons. Has she never been inside of a grocery store? Anyway, I told her that my tampons stay where they were, but if she's so pressed, she can leave and go home where no tampons are present. She turned red, quite literally. Her face was bright pink. Huffing and puffing, she dressed her kid and told Jake to drive her home, which he did. Jake didn't come back, but he called from her house telling Ian that I was the bad guy. I was surprised to hear that my boyfriend agreed with him. I thought he'd be on my

side. We were about to argue, but I decided that it wasn't worth it and went to my office to cool down and think this through. Am I the bad guy for telling her to leave? Alright, hold up. So the tampons were in the bathroom, which is where they should be, of course. And her response to seeing this horribly forbidden object is to take it out of the bathroom and show it to everyone and scream about it.

Like, no one would have even noticed the tampons if she hadn't made a big deal about it. Like, imagine if it was, you know, like a dirty magazine. How dare you had this dirty magazine as she shakes it and waves it in front of everyone including her own kid to see. Lady, if it's that bad for people to see, why are you showing it to everyone? Also, it's not her house, man. It's not her house.

Basically, a stranger came to your house and insulted you and called you a bunch of names when like, have you even met this girl before and she's like insulting you in your own home? Yeah, GTFO, get out of my house, lady. I would have done the same thing, OP. I don't know what your boyfriend is thinking taking her side. OP, I'm giving you an easy zero out of five bad guys. I'm giving Navio 1.5 out of five bad guys and I'm giving your boyfriend 1 out of 5 bad guys. I'm giving Navio 1.5 out of 5 bad guys and I'm giving your boyfriend 1 out of 5 bad guys. Am I the bad guy for forbidding my sister to meet my child and telling

my wife to bud out of the situation? So I'm a 28 year old guy and I've been married to my wife for 4 years and we have a 2 year old son together. My older sister Ariel has 2 kids with her husband. She's my only sibling, but we don't speak, and haven't since my wedding four years ago. My wife knew that I had no relationship with my sister or mother when we got together, but now it's causing an argument. We were a pretty typical family,

until my mom cheated my senior year of high school with a coworker. My dad moved out immediately and I moved with him. This caused a rift between me and my sister. My sister believed that since my mom was sorry and it was a one time thing, as my mom claimed. And she was trying to reconcile through the church that me and my dad's refusal to speak with my mom was somehow wrong. At the time, I was 18 and my sister was 20. It's a long story, but eventually my sister stopped speaking with my dad.

I haven't seen my mom since 2016, and we've only spoken once since 2019 when she tried to invite herself to my wedding. My mom wasn't invited, but my sister was out of courtesy. My sister didn't show up, and we haven't spoken since. My wife knew when she married me that my only family was my dad and my cousins. She said it was okay and that she didn't care. So a few months ago, my wife got a call from my sister's husband who I've never met and he said that he wanted to start mending the bridge and would like to have me come meet their kids. I said no.

Well, then my sister started sending pictures of her kids to my wife and my wife sent pictures back. I told her multiple times that I did not like this and she told me that she could send pics to whoever she wants. I said that if she keeps testing my boundaries, she'll be a single parent very soon. That she signed up for me as is.

My wife is saying that it's wrong to deprive my son of his family. I said, I don't even have a relationship with my sister or brother-in-law, so why should my kid? This doesn't make me feel comfortable at all, and I don't even know these people. Also, any picture that my wife sends could easily be forwarded to my mom. My wife said that she doesn't even understand why my mom can't meet her grand-kids, and that comment alone pissed me off. Because I've explained my family drama for years, and it feels like she just ignored

it. I said that she really needs to think about who she wants to appease, because I'm not going to stand for disrespect to my boundaries. My dad totally agrees with me, and is telling me that I should start setting aside money now for an exit strategy because my wife's behavior is exactly how my mom used to act and I should see the warning signs now. Am I the bad guy? Man, this story is a mess. How is it? How, okay. First of all, I gotta just point out, how is it logical that the wife cheats

and then the husband gets blamed for being upset about the cheating? That's the sister stance. How dare you get upset at your wife for cheating on you? What? And she takes her mom side? Opie, I 100% back your dad and I I 100% respect you for having your dads back there.

I don't understand how you and your dad become the villain in your sister's eyes. That makes no sense. Also, okay, I've got to just say, your wife is stupid. It's very rare that you have a crystal clear picture of exactly what's going to happen if you continue down a path. OP, as demonstrated, is extremely good at burning bridges. He burned the bridge connecting him and his mom, and he burned the bridge connecting him and his sister. These were very, very close relationships that he had that he just torched.

Now this wife is like, oh my bridge is completely impervious to fire, 100% fireproof. Nothing will happen to it. I don't think anything can burn this bridge down ever between me and my husband. Meanwhile, OP is standing on the other side of the bridge with a flamethrower and like a bomb. OP, once again, you and your data right. Your wife is flagrantly disrespecting your boundaries, if she continues to do so then yeah, I think divorce is on the table. Jeez, OP, you and your dad have bad luck with women. Also, I see down in the

comments, man this post says 14,000 uploads, the second most uploaded comment on this entire thread. This guy thinks that the father weaponized OP's emotions against the mother, and he's using those emotions to drive a wedge between you and your wife. I don't buy that at all. There is no evidence in this post whatsoever to indicate that the dad manipulated the son. Huh? Going no contact with your mother over her infidelity seems way too harsh, but again,

there'll be... No, it doesn't. No, it doesn't at all. Your mom betrays your father and the family unit and then lines clearly get drawn in the sand between the women and the men and the family and OP's wrong and being manipulated what why are so many people on the mother side here she also tried to invite herself to the wedding and just show up unannounced but why are people on the mom side the third most upvoted post is saying that everyone sucks here,

but you suck the hardest because you're threatening your wife. Yo, guys, listen, this is how a boundary works. This is how a boundary is worked. If you meet someone, you say, hey, listen, I love you. I want to spend a life with you, but this is my boundary. My boundary is X. Please don't, please respect that boundary Please don't cross that boundary. And then you get married and then your wife is like, uh-huh I'm stepping over that boundary. Look at me putting the toe over the boundary.

Tee hee hee hee. Aren't I so mischievous? I then know a piece says you're doing Explicitly what I told you not to do before I got married to you. If you keep doing that, I'm gonna divorce you and people are people are against that What? Am I the bad guy for not letting my sister's boyfriend use hot sauce? Every Sunday my family rotates who makes dinner. One day it's my wife and I. The next time it's my sister and her boyfriend, the next my mom and dad, and then finally my grandmother. With our busy lives, this day is important to us because besides holidays we wouldn't be able to meet up and chat or eat without it. We come from an Italian family, but we're in Canada.

I take my food very seriously, especially Italian food, and doubly especially because my Nana is eating with us. I spend all day preparing dinner, and when we sat down to eat, my sister's boyfriend is humming and hawing saying the meal is missing something. He said it needs hot sauce and starts walking to my fridge. All I have is Frank's and Sriracha. I like hot sauce too, but I don't dare mix cuisines like that. So I stopped him, saying I would appreciate it if he enjoyed my meal as it is.

He said it's no big deal, and in a way, it isn't. But also, in many ways, it is. I told him at the very least I have some calibrary and chili oil he can use or dry chili flakes. Then, it would at least still be Italian. He insists on Sriracha, and I declined him. He escalated it by saying that he was going to the store to buy his own bottle and return if that's the case, and I said, by all means, he left. We finished up dinner and we called it an early night. Everyone is putting their code and shoes on as he returns.

And he's pissed. Yeah, this feels like an everyone sucks here situation. I don't understand why you're policing your sister's boyfriend's food. If he wants hot sauce, let the guy have hot sauce. And as for the boyfriend, while I don't begrudge him wanting to have hot sauce in his pasta, the whole comment of saying, hmm, something's missing here. You said that he was himming and hauling all night. I mean, that's kind of insulting, you know, insulting your food in front of everyone

saying that it's not good enough. There's a big difference between saying, I enjoy my food with hot sauce and saying, hmm, something's missing from this dish. I think I'll give the boyfriend 0.5 out of 5 bad guys for insulting your food, and I think I'll give you one out of 5 bad guys for controlling his food for no reason. This whole post feels like the two of you got into a pissing contest, and neither one of you was willing to back down. That was our slash of my the A, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.