rSlash - r/AITA I'm Not Dating My Daughter!

Episode Date: October 19, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:08 Other woman 2:33 Cake 5:31 Dying wish 8:05 Dating 10:49 Landlord Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you're with Amex Platinum, you get access to exclusive dining experiences and an annual travel credit. So the best tapas in town might be in a new town altogether. That's the powerful backing of Amex. Terms and conditions apply. Learn more at Amex.ca. This episode is brought to you by Peloton. A new era of fitness is here.

Introducing the new Peloton Cross Training Tread Plus, powered by Peloton IQ, built for breakthroughs with personalized workout plans, real-time insights, and endless ways to move. Lift with confidence, while Peloton IQ counts reps, corrects form, and tracks your progress. Let yourself run, lift, flow, and go. Explore the new Peloton cross-training tread plus at OnePeloton.C.A. Welcome to R slash Am I the Butthole, where O.P. is accused of having an affair with his six-year-old daughter. Am I the butthole for divorcing my wife for treating our daughter as the other woman? Our daughter is six years old.

Anytime I spent time with my daughter, my wife would pout like an effing child and tell me she didn't like it when I was spending time. with our daughter because she feels like my daughter is my affair partner. I gave her plenty of affection, which she agreed on, but the problem was that she couldn't handle that I gave part of my affection to our daughter. I asked her if she would have acted the same way if our daughter had been a boy, and she said no. We tried marriage counseling and individual counseling, but it didn't work in the end. She refused to change, or at least try to. I filed for divorce. We live in Scandinavia, and I got nearly full custody. She has our child, E-O-W, for context, I have no clue what that stands for.

When our daughter gets home, she tells me that she doesn't want to go back if I'm not coming. I'm willing to file for full custody, as my ex-in-laws have been eyewitnesses to my wife's behavior. They're only in contact with her because they don't want to be no contact with our daughter while their daughter has her. They know that they can meet my daughter any time that I have our daughter, but they also want to be able to meet her when she's with her. her mom in case I'm busy. So am I the butthole? As someone with a four-year-old, it's very, very easy to get a four-year-old to love you. You just have to be nice to them, give them food, don't abuse them. They're hardwired to love their parental figures. So if we have a six-year-old who

doesn't want to be with mommy, that means mommy sucks balls. Her behavior is deranged, creepy, weird, illogical, disturbing. I mean, what, if you had a son, would she call you gay? I can't believe you're being gay with your own son. Going out to the front yard and throwing around a baseball, how homosexual of you. I mean, this is just, this sounds so stupid to say. This woman's weird, O.P., you get an easy zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your wife, it's not really butthole.

so much as it is like disturbing, weird, some sort of psychological issue going on. So I guess I'll give 1.5 out of 5 butt holes, but like 3.5 out of 5 on the weirdo, you need mental help scale. Am I the butthole for refusing to make a birthday cake for my daughter's friend? I'm a 33-year-old woman and I work a stressful and demanding job with long hours. Even when I'm done with my workday, I'm still technically on call, so I treasure my free time. In my college days, I used to work at a bakery part-time to pay for school and picked up some cake decoration skills from a confectioner. I quit the job when I graduated, but have made some elaborate cakes once in a while in the years since, mainly for my partner or other family and friends.

I lean heavily into my engineering background to make them one of a kind. But a major reason they come out so well is because I make them out of love and with the person they're intended for in mind. A few months ago, it was my four-year-old daughter's birthday, and we had a birthday party for her where we invited some of her preschool friends and their parents. My daughter's been obsessed with Rapunzel, and for her birthday, she asked me to make her a Rapunzel cake with a tower. I took a week off of work and made an amazing cake. My daughter was incredibly happy, and it was the talk of her friend's circle for a while after as well. Last week, I was picking up my daughter from school when I ran into one of the moms,

Allie, that was at my daughter's party. I had spoken to her briefly at the party, but that was my only interaction with her. She told me that her daughter, Kara, loved the cake that I made for my daughter. And since her birthday is coming in a few days, she's repeatedly insisting on having a similar cake for her birthday. She asked me if I'd be willing to make a cake for Kara as well. I told her it took me a lot of time and effort to make the cake for my daughter, and I'm not sure I could accommodate it. She kept insisting and wouldn't take no for an answer. and I was running late, so I told her I'll think about it and let her know.

She took down my number before I left. Later that evening, I asked my daughter if Kara is a close friend, since I hadn't heard about her more than a handful of times. She said that Kara is bossy, and she doesn't like her, but she's friends with Kara's best friend. I decided it wasn't worth the hassle, and texted Allie to let her know that I can't do it because of my schedule. She replied saying she would really like me to do it,

and it would make her daughter very happy, and that she was willing to pay me for it as well. I told her I understand that, but it wasn't about the money, so much as it was about the time and effort involved. And I'd be happy to recommend some excellent bakeries in the area that could make a custom cake for her daughter. She said that I'd managed to find the time to make it for my daughter,

so surely I can find some time for Kara as well. I was miffed by now, and I told her that isn't for her to decide, and that I'm just not interested in doing it, or continuing the conversation. She devolved into cussing me out and told me that I was being a butthole by not thinking of her daughter's happiness.

Oh, so the daughter Kara is bossy and entitled? I wonder where she gets it from. O.P., you get zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving the entitled Karen 1.5 out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for not honoring my wife's dying wish? Six years ago, my wife passed away after a short illness. The day before she passed away, it seemed as though she may pull through. She said to me, If I die, you're not allowed to date. I laughed and promised I wouldn't. Both of my daughters were there

when she said it. That night, things went horribly downhill, and she was gone by noon the next day. I've spent the last six years raising my girls and finally sent my youngest off to college in August. I've been involved in a few support groups for people who have lost spouses for the last few years. And earlier this year, I really connected with a woman who lost her husband around the same time. I wasn't looking for a relationship, but we've been on a few dates, and I've been trying to keep it concealed, at least in the meantime. We ended up going to a restaurant, and our server was one of my older daughter's friends from high school. She must have called or texted my daughter because last night, my daughter called to scream at me, and basically told me I was cheating on her mother, and I had no right to design.

her request of me. I'm pretty furious she called me like that, and I had to hang up and told her I'd call her in the morning when I've had some time to reflect. Now, all I can think of is how horrible I am for this. I'm 45 years old, and I need companionship. But I don't want my daughters to think that I'm spitting on their mother's grave. My wife's sister also texted me to tell me that my wife's request was unreasonable and unfair, and that her family is not going to judge me if I move on, and she would talk to my daughter about it. I don't want to ruin my relationship with my kids over this, but I'm so torn. Am I the butthole for not honoring her request? I can understand why OP's daughter would have some big emotions surrounding this, certainly, but still, her reaction

was completely unreasonable. The fact that the wife asked this at all was unreasonable. Unless she meant it as a joke, which she may have, it's not really clear from this post, if it was a serious request, then that's an awful thing to say to your partner in your last moments. Then OP posted a short update, which basically says she talked to her daughter, and things are better now. She admitted that she overreacted. So I'm giving OP 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving the daughter 0.5 out of 5 butt holes. I think she just had an emotional moment, which I can't really blame someone for considering their parent passed away. If your wife was joking with dark humor, then I'll give her 0 out of 5 but holes, but if she was actually serious, then I'm giving it

let's say two out of five buttholes. I told my friend why I don't want to date him, and our friends are saying that I broke him, so am I the butthole? So I'm a 21-year-old woman, and my friend of 10 years, Mark, whose 23, called me yesterday to meet him for lunch, and that he had something important to discuss with me. I had free time, so I agreed. We had lunch and we talked a bit about random things. Then he cleared his throat and started speaking. He first told me that he didn't understand why I was dating my now boyfriend when he's a better match for me. I asked him to explain. And he basically went on about how he liked me first and he met me first. He's more good looking, knows me better, he's taller than my boyfriend and more successful, which is not true in a way. My boyfriend

works aside from growing up in wealth, while Mark's entire life is funded by his parents money, lull. He told me he doesn't understand how I can be with my boyfriend when he's always been around waiting for me. I was out of words and asked him if he wanted me to be honest, to which he said yes. I told him I would never want to date him, given how I've seen the way he treated his past girlfriends. He ghosts them when he feels like it and just expects them to be there waiting. I told him he's too immature and irresponsible for me and that dating him would be exhausting. I also explained that these reasons are why, over time, I started putting distance in our friendship, because I didn't like the way he treated the women in his life. When I was done,

he was just quiet. He excused himself and left. I went home and went about my day. Later in the evening, our other friends started asking what I did to Mark and that he's been a wreck since he met me for lunch, that he's drinking and not telling anyone what happened. I explained to them what happened, and they're saying I was harsh, and that I broke him, blah, blah, blah. But I think someone had to tell him the truth. So am I the butthole? Oh, okay, so Mark can criticize O.P.'s life and imply how dumb she is for choosing the wrong guy, but O.P. can't return that same energy and be like, well, actually, your life is messed up too. Even though, to be clear, I don't think O.P.'s life is messed up at all. I don't blame O.P. for not wanting to be with Mark,

because he sounds like a desperate in-cell. Also, the I Saw You First comment is kind of gross, and it feels like, I don't know, he's treating O.P., like a bus seat. Oh, I got here first, so she's mine. I'm going to plant my flag in this territory, so stay away other guys. I don't know, it just feels kind of weird and gross to me. O.P., I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. Mark gets one out of five buttholes.

Am I the butthole for refusing to sell my house to a landlord? I bought a fixer upper in my 20s with my now ex. I bought him out, but I agreed to give him back his portion of deposit that he paid upon sale, whenever that may be. We remained friends, as we've known each other since childhood. Regardless of that, I still planned to stick to my work eight years later. I told him I was in the process of selling the house. He asked me if I had any offers, and I told him,

yeah, but from a few landlords. I didn't think that needed further explanation, because he knows full well how I feel about landlords. buying up starter homes in low-income areas, and how strongly I felt about turning this house into a home for myself and the next occupants. He's absolutely furious at me for not going for a quick sale because he wants his measly 5K back right now. I told him no way, and tried to remind him of all the offers we made on starter homes that just got swept up by landlords. It was devastating, and we almost lost all hope of getting on the property ladder. None of them wanted this one,

because it needed so much work. He's blowing up my phone and told my parents who are more gently telling me to just go for the easy sale. But I'm in no rush to move, and I want all my hard work to go to a family instead of someone's business. Am I the butthole?

Wait, let me get this straight. He loaned you $5,000 eight years ago, and then now all of a sudden he has to get the money immediately. O.P., the easiest way to do this is to just draw up a contract, Pay him 5K now in exchange for the deposit later, and just be done with it. Then you can sell it to whoever you want to, and I don't have to worry about sour puss over here. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes.

Uh, normally I'd give the other guy a butthole score for his impatience, but he did loan OP $5,000 for eight years with no interest, which is very generous. So I think that kind of levels him out, and I'm giving the other guy zero out of five buttholes as well. According to the internet, if that $5,000 had been invested in the S&P 500, 8 years ago, then today it'd be worth $10,700, which means the friend lost out on 5.7K due to his generosity. So, you know, I don't really want to give him a butthole score because that was nice of him. That was our slash am I the butthole. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.