rSlash - r/AITA Karen Thinks She Owns My Pool

Episode Date: October 28, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:07 Ownership 4:06 Baby name 10:33 Therapy 12:57 Food 15:01 FTM 15:55 Comment Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After decades of shaky hands caused by debilitating tremors, Sunnybrook was the only hospital in Canada who could provide Andy with something special. Three neurosurgeons, two scientists, one movement disorders coordinator, 58 answered questions, two focused ultrasound procedures, one specially developed helmet, thousands of high-intensity focused ultrasound waves, zero incisions, and that very same day, two steady hands. From innovation to action, Welcome to r slash amithabudhole where OP's neighbor decides that actually she owns OP's pool.

Am I the butthole for refusing to let my Karen neighbor use my pool after she demanded that I follow her pool rules. So I'm a 34 year old guy and I live in a suburban neighborhood with a decent sized backyard and a pool. I've always been friendly with my neighbors, including Karen, a woman in her mid-40s who moved in next door about a year ago. She seemed nice at first, but as time went on she started to show her true colors. Over the summer, she started to show her true colors. Over the summer, Karen started coming over with her kids, asking if they could use the pool.

At first I didn't mind because I was usually outside anyway, and the kids seemed to enjoy it. But soon things got weird. Karen began showing up unannounced, sometimes even when I wasn't home, and I caught her using the pool without my permission. One day I came home to find Karen and several of her friends having a full on pool party in my backyard, complete with snacks, music and pool floats.

I confronted her and she acted like it was no big deal saying, Oh you weren't using it so I figured it was fine. I told her politely but firmly that she needed to ask before coming over and that I wasn't comfortable with her just assuming she could use the pool whenever. Karen seemed annoyed but agreed to follow the rules. Then last week, she took things to a whole new level. Karen knocked on my door with a typed up list of pool rules that she wanted me to follow. Her list included things like, no swimming after 5pm because my kids have

a strict bedtime, no loud music when my family is outside, mandatory weekend access for me and my kids, but only for our exclusive use. I thought she was joking at first, but she was dead serious. I laughed and told her there was no way that I was following any of her rules for my pool. Karen... what? Karen got angry and called me selfish, saying that I was ruining the neighborhood spirit and being unfair to my kids.

Now she's spreading rumors to other neighbors that I'm a bad guy for not sharing the pool. Some of the neighbors have even said that I should just let it go to avoid drama, but I feel like this is insane. It's my pool and she acts like she owns it. Then OP posted an update. So I went ahead and installed a keypad lock on my backyard fence. I figured that would solve the problem without needing another awkward conversation with Karen.

Plus, all of you were right about the liability stuff. I really don't want to deal with any potential fallout if someone gets hurt using my pool. Of course, Karen noticed the lock pretty much immediately. She was at my door, furious, saying that I was locking out the neighborhood kids and treating her family like criminals. She went on about how I was being dramatic and why couldn't I just let them use it like before. I told her straight up that I wanted some privacy and control over who was using my

pool. After all, it's my backyard, not a community park. She rolled her eyes and said that I was being selfish. You know, my mom works in local government so I actually know a little bit about the liability thing. This is called an attractive nuisance, which is anything that would be enticing to a kid and might entice the kid to come onto the property without permission. So that includes like playground equipment or a pool.

And in some localities, the owner is actually required to fence that in and make it somehow difficult to get onto the property. Otherwise, they are liable if the kid gets hurt. Which honestly is kind of crazy if you think about it, but you know, them's the laws in some locations. So OP, you're a million percent justified, both legally and also ethically, because this Karen is bonkers. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes, I'm giving Karen, let's say, what, two,

two out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for tricking my sister-in-law into stealing our baby name? So I'm a 33-year-old woman woman and I've been married to my husband, Kevin, for five years. We have a three year old daughter and I'm currently pregnant with male and female twins. My brother in law, Terrence, who's 38, has been married to his wife Jess, who's 39, for seven years. Jess and I are total opposites. Jess is an extrovert. She's kind of loud, boisterous, and some would even say abrasive. I'm an introvert. I'm not quiet or shy, but I am reserved.

I'm also very observant. The first time I met Jess, I told Kevin that we would be like oil and water. We've never been overtly hostile towards each other, but we've also never gone out of our way to bond. Unfortunately, Terrence and Jess had fertility issues for several years before finally having their son a couple of weeks ago. Prior to this, Jess was very odd towards us when I was pregnant with our daughter. The best way to describe it is hot and cold.

One minute she pretended like she didn't care while we were talking about it at family gatherings and the next she was volunteering to throw the baby shower. I gave a firm no to that. We both assumed the behavior was because of their fertility issues and didn't think too much of it. But the strangest thing she did was almost demand to know what we were naming our daughter before we announced it. She asked us constantly after our gender reveal and got visibly annoyed when we just laughed

her off and said that it was a secret. We couldn't understand why the hell she cared so much as she wasn't expecting at that time. Regardless, we didn't share the name with anyone. When our daughter was born and her name was finally announced, Jess was kind of… obsessed with it? I don't know how to explain it. She just kept going on and on about how beautiful and unique the name was. To this day, she comments about how different the name is. But the name we chose is a pretty common Welsh name, which wouldn't be all that different except for the fact that we're African American, lol. I've always gravitated towards names from different regions, and I found and fell in

love with the name years ago and never shared it with anyone prior to Kevin. Fast forward, and now we're both pregnant at the same time. Jess's odd behavior continued towards me, but this time it was more blatant. She made snarky comments under the guise of jokes about how big I was going to get with two babies, and that my body would never snap back like it did after our daughter. She even accused us of getting pregnant on purpose after she announced her own pregnancy even though the whole family knew that we were actively trying and at the time of her

announcement I was already a few weeks along and didn't know. One thing about me, introvert or not, I'm no pushover and I will stand up for myself. But I chose to ignore Jess because I knew that would get to her more than confronting her would since she seems to thrive off drama. Jess was obviously much further along than we are, however, and we did have our gender reveal prior to Jess giving birth. And right on cue, the baby name interrogation started again. Because they decided not to find out the gender of their baby in advance, Jess kept hounding

us for both the names that we had already picked out, but again, we declined to answer. After days of this, I got annoyed and asked Kevin if he thought the reason for her insistence was so that she could use the name first since she was due first. He kinda chuckled until he realized that I was serious and said that he didn't think so but anything was possible. So I said, let's test it. We were due to host my father-in-law's birthday at our house a couple of weeks later and I decided to leave something in the unfinished nursery with a girl and a boy name

on it and see if Jess went snooping. Because Kevin thought that it was silly, he said that he would give me 20 bucks if she did it. So I went onto some website where you can order custom name wall decals and put in the names Aria Rose and Sebastian Ali. These are not the names that we chose for our babies by the way. I got to the final page, printed it out, and hid it inside of a dresser drawer in the nursery. The party happened, and because we were busy hosting, we never noticed if Jess disappeared for any extended period of time. When I went to the nursery the next morning, nothing was out of place and the order sheet was still in the exact location. So we both just went, welp, and forgot about it.

I did, however, notice that Jess never asked us about the names again. Then Jess gives birth. We went to the hospital to give our congratulations. When we go in and see the baby, I ask what the name was and man, I cannot properly explain the shit eating grin that came over Jess's face as she says Sebastian Ali. I mean she was really proud of herself and honestly it's the most vindictive I've ever seen her look in the years that I've known her but instead of reacting how she was expecting I put on a performance like I had graduated from Juilliard. Oh my god,

that's such a great name! He's so cute, look at his widdle face! Oh, I just love him so much! Welcome to the world, Sebastian. Auntie is gonna spoil you rotten. I mean, I was laying it on thick without an ounce of bother. The range of emotions on Jess's face went from shock to confusion to rage in a span of maybe 17 seconds. Meanwhile my husband is holding in the laugh of the century. We later say our goodbyes and he gives me a $20 bill in the elevator while almost crying laughing. All I could say was, like I thought.

This was two weeks ago and we haven't seen them since because we wanted to give them time to settle in with the new baby. I have heard from my mother-in-law that just doesn't seem as thrilled about motherhood as she thought she'd be, considering how long it took them to conceive. But she said that it might just be baby blues. Obviously, I think she's just disappointed that her petty move didn't have the desired effect on us. I did share this story with my sister, and while she laughed initially, she did say that

it was kind of a butthole move. So am I the butthole? OP, not only is that funny, it's also just brilliant. You completely outsmarted her. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving Jess 1.5 out of 5. Am I the butthole for refusing to pay for my sister's therapy after she ruined my wedding?

I'm a 29 year old woman and my wedding was supposed to be the best day of my life, right? You know the drill. Months of planning, stress, money, all that stuff. My 25 year old sister was my maid of honor and she's always had a flair for drama. But I figured she could keep it together for one day. Spoiler alert, she didn't. Fast forward to the big day. Everything's going smoothly until the reception.

My sister gets wasted, like falling over, crying, causing a scene wasted. She starts ranting about how I always get everything and how my wedding is just another example of me being the golden child. She does this in front of all my guests, including my in-laws. It gets worse. She actually grabs the microphone during the speeches and starts going off about her struggles and how it's not fair that I'm happily married while she's single. At my wedding. The whole vibe turned awkward and my husband's family was just shocked.

People started leaving early and I spent the rest of the night trying to put out fires instead of enjoying what was supposed to be our special day. Now, weeks later, my parents say that my sister is struggling with her mental health. No kidding. And they want ME to pay for her therapy. Their reasoning is that since I'm the successful one, I should help out. And it would show that I'm a good sister. But like she ruined my wedding. I don't think that I should have to foot the bill for her meltdown.

I'm still angry about the whole thing, and honestly, I feel like she owes ME an apology first. But my parents think that I'm being cold-hearted and that it's my responsibility to support her. They're pressuring me hard, but I just don't think it's fair to ask me to pay for something she clearly needs to take accountability for. So am I the butthole? OP respond to them with an itemized bill of everything you paid for for the wedding. Because if they expect you to pay for the therapy, then certainly you can expect her

to pay for your ruined wedding, right? Also your parents behavior is giving me a sense for why your sister is so unstable. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your sister 3 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your sister 3 out of 5 buttholes and your parents 2 out of 5. Am I the butthole for removing my pregnant wife's hands from my plate and telling her to stop effing grabbing food off my plate while I'm eating when she has her own plate in front of her? My wife is 7 months pregnant and I understand that being pregnant is not easy. You're growing a whole human being inside of you, and naturally you're going to have

to eat more. But my wife won't stop eating my food. At first I let it slide because I was trying to be understanding, but it just didn't stop. Most times, after coming back from work and looking forward to eating my only meal of the day, she'll casually start eating off my plate while I'm eating. This is after she's eaten her own meal earlier. When we eat at the same time, she'll basically do a back and forth between our plates.

Last night was the final straw. I had a long day at work and was very hungry. When we started eating, she reached for my plate to grab something before even touching her food first. And I pushed her hands away and told her to stop eating my effing food and that I'm really tired of not being able to eat my food in peace while she gets to. She started crying and told me that I could try to understand that it's because she's pregnant and that she gets really hungry and she can't help it instead of me being a butthole about it. Also OP clarifies in an edit that they're really

struggling financially right now, so he really does mean that he and his wife each eat one meal per day. So, uh, yeah, that's a super important detail. OP, your wife needs to eat. If she doesn't get enough food, your baby could literally die in there, man. If a pregnant woman doesn't get enough calcium, then her teeth could fall out. Like these are really serious medical conditions. She has to eat. So I'm on the wife's side here. If you're only giving your wife one meal a day, then I hate to say it, but you're failing as a husband. Maybe go to like a soup kitchen or get food stamps or something like that OP because this is a pretty serious problem. OP, I'm giving you 2.5 out of 5 buttholes and

your wife 0 out of 5. Am I the butthole for breaking up with my female to male boyfriend because I'm not gay? I'm a 20 year old guy and my boyfriend is 21. My boyfriend is a female to male trans. We've been together for almost two years. Recently he came out as trans to his closest friends. He's still only studying and his parents aren't supportive, but I already have a job so I offered to pay for his treatment. Some weeks ago we talked and I told him that since I'm not into men, maybe we should break up. I offered to keep paying for his testosterone until he can pay for it himself, but he got angry and called me a transphobe.

Am I really a transphobe? I tried my best to be gentle and told him that we didn't need to break up immediately if he didn't want to, but just that we should probably start to slowly stop dating. I like this top comment from Fairrocks. Not the butthole. Bro, telling a female to male person that you don't want to be with them because they're a man and you're not gay is the least transphobic thing you can do. You're literally validating their identity.

That was r slash mi the butthole and if you liked this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day.